Crash Into Me
by fairytellerxo
Summary: Herman Kozik has lived a double life for the last 23 years and now both lives are are on the verge of colliding. Can he keep his cool as his family life gets tossed head first into his outlaw life? Or will he fall to pieces and bring his family down with him?
1. Chapter 1 Fresh Start

I stood hand in hand with my dad Herman and my sister Malia at the foot of our mom's grave. She was taken from us too soon. She'll never see us graduate college, be married, become mothers ourselves.

"I can't believe she's gone." Malia sobbed. Her chest heaving and her breathing broken. "I miss her so much. I love you mom." She dropped to her knees and tossed a handful of dirt onto the casket that rest inside of the grave.

"It's ok Mali." I sat down beside her. "She's watching over you." I tried my hardest to believe the words that were coming out of my mouth but I just couldn't get into that mindset. I wasn't religious enough.

"You don't even believe in God Dasha." Malia shot back at me. Her eyes narrowed and dark, the mascara she applied more out of habit than for beauty purposes stained her porcelain skin.

"Doesn't mean I don't believe she's watching over us from some place." I rubbed her back. "It's going to be ok, we just need to stick together like she taught us to."

"She's right Malia." Our dad crouched down between us. "You two are always better together than when you're at odds. For your mom, you two need to stick together and look out for one another now."

"Whatever dad." Malia stood and walked away from us and over to her car.

"She'll get better." He said. "She has to. How are you holding up?"

"I've been better, I'm not falling apart if that's what you're asking. I've been taking the medication. It's helping to keep me in balance." I stood up and dropped my own handful of dirt into the grave before tossing the rose from my hair in as well.

"I'm glad." He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "We have to talk about where you two will stay. Obviously there's no home for you two anymore since it was burned down."

"Are you inviting us to stay with you?" I searched his face. "In Tacoma?"

"Yes, I am." He smiled. "I wouldn't leave you to fend for yourselves. I'm better than that."

"You've been keeping us away from there for so long." I sighed. "Two lives that never intersect."

"Things are about to change. I can't leave you here. I can't leave her here. I have no choice but to bring you two to Tacoma. You won't be at the clubhouse. That's still of limits but you'll be near by." He looked at me. "I need to keep you two safe, I always promised your mom I would."

"I know." I smiled. "I wouldn't mind moving to Washington. I think the rain and snow will be fun."

"I hope your sister feels the same way. She hates changes." He frowned as he looked her direction. She was sitting on the hood of her car smoking.

"I know, she's difficult." I shrugged and smiled at the sight of her.

"What needs to change is your hair color." He tugged on it softly. "Purple is no your color."

"It's not purple, its orchid and silver." I swatted his hand away and walked towards my sister.

"Dad." She whispered. "Where am I going to live?"

"How do you feel about Washington?" He asked her.

"I guess I don't have any choice." She dropped her cigarette to the ground and slid off the hood. "When do we go?"

"No better time than now." He hugged her. "You don't have shit to pack up."

"Thanks for that fucking reminder." She laughed. "It sucks, all the pictures and movies are gone."

"I have some copies at my parent's." He smiled as he pulled open her car door for her.

"I guess we're going to Washington sis, you'll be in heaven with all the rain and snow." She smiled at me before she got in.

"Snowboarding." I felt myself start to drift off to fantasy land. "Let's go."

"Let's." He said as he climbed on his bike and started it up. "Follow after me."

I got in my own car and started it up, putting the top down to enjoy the Texas sun for the last time. "Bye mom." I said as I looked at her headstone. "See you when I see you."

I pulled off behind Malia, her Supra giving off an obnoxious noise as she drove impossibly slow through the cemetery. I should have parked in front of her. I revved my engine and she honked at me. This was going to be a long trip. I just hope she picked up her speed when we hit the highway.

#

"God. Stretching feels so damn good." Malia said as she climbed out of her Supra and leaned against my Mustang. "So good."

"If you had a bigger car you would be more comfortable." I said. I walked around to the trunk sat down.

"Are we really doing this?" She looked at me. "Picking up and starting all over?"

"Yeah, we have no choice." I shrugged as we watched our dad stretch his legs. We had only driven six hours and it was already taking it's toll on the three of us.

"I'm nervous. I hope the job market there is better." She lit up a cigarette. "Can't live off dad there."

"Yeah I know, but we'll get the settlement from the insurance company for the house, and mom had life insurance, so we'll be ok after we get it all. We just need to get part time jobs." I looked at her and smiled weakly. "You can be a stripper." I laughed.

"Nope, can't do that there! Dad probably frequents them." She shook her head. "I bet money on it."

"I don't doubt it." I chuckled. "We'll work at a coffee shop then. They probably have thousands of them."

"I hate coffee." She tossed her cigarette down. "I'm more of a tea person."

"You smoke but won't drink coffee. You're a strange one." I hopped off the trunk and grabbed her.

"Let's get snacks and gas up already." She pulled led us over to our dad who was on the phone having an intense conversation.

He held up a finger and we stood at a distance and waited for him to finish before we went inside.

"Sounded important." I said and he just shrugged.

"I have one thing I need you guys to promise me." He grabbed our hands and looked us in the eyes, his ice blue eyes growing dark. "When we get there, you're not to get involved with anyone wearing a Kutte."

"Alright." I nodded. "Fair enough."

"I can't make any promises." Malia shook her head and her blonde curls bounced.

"Promise me Malia!" He yelled. "I'm trying to make sure you're safe."

"Fine!" She slouched. "No one with a kutte. What if he takes it off?"

"You're not allowed to get involved with any member of the Sons of Anarchy, not even a prospect." He looked between us and both.

"Alright dad." We said in unison. "No Sons."

"Good, let's gas up and go." He walked towards the station.

"I wonder what's so bad about the Sons." I whispered to Malia.

"Besides them being outlaws. I don't know D. Maybe it's because they're killers!" She rolled her eyes.

"That's a given." I said. "I meant like they have to be different outside of the club, I mean look at dad. He's caring and nice and shit. I can't seeing him being the same while he's doing club shit. There's a whole new side to him that we don't know about or see."

"I'm pretty sure that's a good thing." She smiled as she grabbed chips, candy, and beer. "Essentials."

"Don't drink and drive dumbass." I took the beer from her and put it back. "Have a water or soda" I gestured towards the other refrigerator.

"Buzz kill." She muttered as she walked off, leaving me standing in front of the beers and contemplating buying a tall can. We still had a long trip ahead of us.

"You got what you need?" He looked at me and I nodded slowly. "Your sister bought enough to feed a small army."

"I saw. I'm set with jerky, chips, water, and sour candy." I dropped my items on the counter and smiled at the guy ringing it all up.

"Mali." I frowned at her. "Seriously?" She was chugging a tall can.

"You said not to drink and drive! I'm not driving right now am I D?" She cackled and finished off the can. "Loopholes are my friends." She let out a small burp.

"I can't believe you let her do that dad!" I smacked his arm.

"She's an adult, I can't tell her not to drink." He smirked as he cracked open a can of his own and started in out it as we walked out of the store and to the pumps.

"You two are the same." I shook my hand and tossed my bag into my car before moving to pump the gas.

#

"Sketch." Malia said as we opened the door of the motel room we had gotten for the night. "So sketch."

"Disgusting is more like it." I smacked the bed and watched the dust rise. "When was the last time this room was used?" I frowned as I looked around at all the outdated furniture and technology.

"I'm not sleeping on that." She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Refuse to. I rather attempt to sleep in Spencer." She pointed out the window to her car.

"Still can't believe you named your car Spencer." I laughed.

"You named yours Bawse." She rolled her eyes. "Think this place has bed bugs?"

"I think it just might." I kicked the bed and tried to detect any movement.

"Pretty sure the bugs are nocturnal like roaches." She laughed.

"The only roaches you've come across are the ones of the herbal nature." I pinched her side. "Are you dry or are you holding?"

"I'm dry." She frowned. "First time in forever." She raked her fingers through her hair.

"I wonder if we can find a dealer here or at least a friendly person with weed." I walked out of the room and over to my car, she followed. "Help me, I got sleeping bags in the back seat."

"Why?" She peaked into the car.

"Because I went camping and never took them out." I smacked her ass and she fell forward into the car.

"You better not have had sex in these." She tossed them at me and jumped up and down waving her hands.

"No, I didn't." I picked them off the ground and shut the door and set the alarm. "You think dad is sleep already?"

"Yeah, I do." She said. "He probably didn't even check the bed."

"Remember when we stayed at that bed and breakfast? He woke up covered in bites and it didn't even phase him until the itching set in and he was in the hospital." I grimaced at the memory, he looked terrible, he had fallen victim to bed bugs.

"Ew, don't even remind me. Let's just try to get some sleep." She slipped into her sleeping bag fully clothed and I followed suit. Hoping that if we kept the lights on we wouldn't meet the fate our dad did at the B&B.

#

Washington was gorgeous to say the least. It was what I pictured and then some. It would take me awhile to adjust to the weather but I couldn't complain. I was surrounded by nature and that was something I loved.

"Tacoma be good to me." I smiled to myself and turned off the radio. Listening to the rain hit my front windshield.

I followed behind my sister, who managed to always get in front of me and slow down. She was loving the roads here, I could tell by the way she handled her car when we hit winding curves.

We pulled in front of a house and parked. I waited for Malia to get out of her car before I got out of mine.

"Who's place is this?" She asked as we walked up the path behind our dad.

"Yours." He said as he opened the door. "Fully furnished, was a bitch to get over the phone but I managed it."

"Killer." Malia said as she bounded into the house after him.

"Thanks dad." I kissed his cheek. "I got dibs on the master bedroom!" I ran in after my sister.

"Nooooo." She pouted. "You can't call dibs! Dad tell her she can't call dibs."

"I'm older anyways, so I get it regardless." I stuck my tongue out at her. "Suck it, bitch!"

"So mature Dasha." She rolled her eyes as we walked into her room. It wasn't too much smaller, it just didn't have m attached bathroom. "I have a better view!"

"Lucky!" It was now my turn to frown. "I should have picked better."

"You two come here." Our dad called and we walked out to find him sitting on the sofa. "The rent will be paid by me and I'll pay the other bills too. Just until you find jobs and can pay them yourselves. No Sons remember and try not to get in too much trouble."

"Sounds good. Can we go shopping at least. I have no clothes and I know Mali doesn't either." I sat down on the floor and faced him.

"Yeah." He pulled out his wallet and handed us each a few bills. "Its all I got. You two are still draining my pockets."

"It's what we do." I smiled at him. "You coming with us?"

"No." He stood up. "I rather get my teeth pulled than shop with you two little shits. Give me hugs so I can go tend to club business."

He opened his arms and Malia hugged him and I stood up and joined in. "Group hugs." She whispered. "All we're missing is mom."

I sighed. "Yeah, she gave the best hugs. Always smelled good too. Dad you smell like leather and cigarettes."

"That's the scent of badass biker." He laughed. "Stay out of trouble Malia. Dasha you watch her."

"Hey, how come you warned me and not her." She places her hands on her hips and scowled.

"Because she's the good one, Miss Criminal Record." He smiled at her. "Be good and take care of each other, I'll check in tonight if it's not too late."

"Love you dad." I said as I hugged him again. "Thanks for this."

"Love you daddy." Malia joined the hug once more.

"Love you guys two. No trouble, no Sons, no parties." He pointed his finger at Malia.

"We got it." She said. He walked to door and smiled.

"Bye." He walked out and we watched him until he was out of sight and we could no longer hear his bike.

"So this is our new life and new home." I sighed. "I like it so far."

"Me too. Let's find a Walmart or Target. I need some female essentials." She grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the door before locking it behind us. "We'll take my car."

"Alright. Let's go. I'm in the need for shampoo. My hair is feeling nasty." I frowned as I felt it.

"We should look for a new color for your hair too." She looked at me. "Maybe teal or red."

"Or both." I looked at the tattoos covering my hand and right arm. "You think there are good tattoo artists here?"

"Probably, we'll Google it when we get new laptops and shit."

"Yeah." I looked out the window as her navigation system directed her to the nearest Walmart which wasn't far from our house.

Walking through the Walmart here was a whole new experience from the way it was back home. The people were more calm and shit was thrown all over the place. It seemed like all the employees had OCD and couldn't afford to have a single item out of its rightful place. Which made it more tempting for me to rearrange the shirts I was standing in front of while my sister looked through them.

"D, seriously? Stop that, its fucking annoying." She smacked my hand away and a stack of shirts fluttered to the floor.

"This store is too clean." I laughed. "It's freaky."

"Clean stores are a good thing." She tossed a few shirts in the cart and I did the same, not even bothering to check the design just the sizes.

"Creepy." I shuddered and nudged her. "Look, he's fine!" I whispered as I watched a tall man with a tattoo on his head walk past us. "I'm in love."

"He's like dad's age!" She yelled causing him to look in our direction. I smiled and he just looked at us with dark eyes and turned away quickly.

"Oh my god Malia." I felt my face grow hot. Way to draw his attention our way.

"My bad!" She said. "I just got creeped out, he's too old for you anyways."

"I'm not trying marry him! All I did was say he was fine. Because that's the truth!" I pulled her ear.

"He was alright." She smiled. "I'll go ask him for his number for you if you want me to."

"Umm, no. If we come across him again then I'll ask. Let's just finish shopping and go get food and go home. I need a real bed to sleep in!" I pulled the cart and we went on a search for everything else we needed.

When we walked outside the guy was leaned against the wall with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"Look!" She tugged on my shirt. "Go get your man." She smacked my ass.

"I don't know! I am nervous." I bit my bottom lip and looked back in his direction.

"Stop! You can so do this!" She pushed me in his direction and I had no choice but to approach him. I looked back at my sister and she gave me a thumbs up and smile.

"Hey." I said cheerfully as I reached him and he just stared at me. "My sister and I are new here and I was wondering if you could tell me of any good places to eat around here."

He didn't answer he took another drag of his cigarette and dropped it to the ground and stepped on it. "Is that really why you came over here?"

I blushed. "No." I rubbed my hair. "I actually came over to ask for your number then I sorta of wussed out."

He smirked and bobbed his head. "I can't give you mine but I'll take yours." He held his phone in his hand and I gave him my number.

"See you around." I turned away and walked away as normal as I could.

"Did you get it?" She asked.

"No, omg I'm so embarrassed. What does it mean when a guy asks for my number." I looked at her. "He was I can't give you mine but I'll take yours."

"Who even knows. He's too old anyways." She started up her car and pulled out of the parking lot when my phone started to ring. The number was blocked but I was curious so I answered it hoping it would be him.

"Hello?"

"Just checking to make sure you gave me a working number." His raspy voice filled my ear and I clutched my sister's arm and mouthed that it was him.

"Yeah, I did." I said.

"You gonna let me take you out for food little girl?" He asked.

"I will let you." I smiled.

"Text me your address and I'll get you later."

"Sounds good." I ended the call and squeezed her arm even harder. "He asked me out!"

"Omg!" She yelled. "We gotta make you cute!" She sped up. "What time did he say?"

"He just told me to text him the address and he'll get me later." I looked at my nails and frowned.

"Text him then we'll rush and get you ready bitch. Leave it to you to get a fucking date our first few hours here!" She pulled into the driveway and turned off her car.

We lugged the bags into the house and quickly put everything away.

"I'm nervous." I said as I slipped on a pair of panties.

"What's the worst that can happen?" She stared at me.

"He could be a psycho and kill me." I wiggled into my jeans. "Or he could be a rapist, or pervert."

"Or he can be sort of normal and wanna sex you up tonight." She laughed and I smiled. "Slut."

"He's sexy, if he's putting out tonight I'm taking him up on the offer. It's been too long since my last fuck." I shrugged.

"How long?"

"A year." I frowned. "Been enjoying my toys."

"Too much information!" She covered her ears. "I hooked up with Bryce the night before mom's funeral."

"Bryce is hot, I don't blame you for that at all." I smiled.

"Yeah, but she didn't get me off properly, had to instruct her." She pulled my hair into a pony tail.

"Well that sucks then." I scowled in the mirror. "Do I look fuckable?"

"If I was into incest, I'd bang you against the wall." She laughed. "Don't stress, he'll like you. I mean you pulled him earlier and you were wearing a baggy shirt and basketball shorts."

"True." I smiled. "Hope he gets here soon."

"Dad texted when you were in the shower. He won't be checking on us until tomorrow night. Went on a run."

"Do you think dad utilizes his military training in the club?" I shook out my arms.

"I would imagine he would. He's always looking like a soldier most of the time." She sat on the sofa and pulled her legs under her.

"I still can't believe they let him in the military." I sat down next to her only to pop up when I heard the sound of a motorcycle approach. "I thought dad wasn't coming."

"Maybe he changed his mind."

"Maybe." I stood and looked out of the window. "No! It's my date!"

"Leave it to you to find a guy like dad!" She tossed the pillow at me and I tosses it back and it smacked her. "If you fuck him use protection."

"If we fuck, I'm bringing him back her to do so." I smiled sheepishly as the doorbell rang.

#

Sitting across from him caused my stomach to flip nervously as we waited for our food to get here.

"You look nervous." He rasped as he ran his fingers over my hand.

"What gave it away?" I smiled.

"You didn't answer my question because you're in your head." He smirked. "What's your name?"

"Dasha." I said, feeling dumb that we hadn't exchanged names when we first talked. "Yours?"

"Happy." He smiled. "Tell me you're at least drinking age."

"Yeah, I'm twenty three." I watched as the waitress set our food down in front of us.

"Thank God, you look illegal." He picked up his burger and bit into it.

"Thanks, I think." I smiled and ate a few fries before taking a bite of my burger.

"Its a good thing, it'd fucking suck if you looked older than you are." He chuckled. "I like your ink."

"Thanks, I did the hand piece myself. Perks of being a lefty." I waved my hands in the air and he smiled.

"I'm an artist myself, are you?"

"No, I just happened to have an ex bf who was one and he left me mark myself up permanently." I took another bite.

"He let you do that to your hair?" He reached over and swatted my pony tail.

"Oh, no." I laughed. "This is all me and my sister. She's a hair stylist and I'm her best client."

"I like it. It's unusual." He took a sip of his beer and stared at me.

"Well I'm unusual." I shrugged and took a sip of my own beer.

"You wanna hangout after this?" He asked as he picked up the last piece of his burger.

"Sure." I smiled. "We can hang at my place."

"That's cool with me." He smiled.

"Good." I finished my fries and pushed my plate to the side.

I strapped on the helmet and climbed on the back of his bike and wrapped my arms around his waist and pressing tightly against him. He started the bike and steered us back towards my place. I hoped the hang out would lead to a hookup but I would be fine if it didn't, I enjoyed his company and hoped to keep it past tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>so that was the first chapter, in the next chapters I plan to include Malia's and Kozik's POV just to balance things out. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2 Killer Koziks

To say the walls were thin in this house would be a lie. I tried my best to eavesdrop on Dasha and Her date but had no such luck. They had been holed up in her room for the last two hours and I couldn't tell if they were talking or fucking but my money was on the latter.

"Damn it!" I cried as I hit my elbow on my headboard. "Shit!" I hopped off my bed and left my room to get ice from the freezer as I felt my elbow swelling up. I tiptoed across the floor because the floors were abnormally cold and I didn't want to make any noise and bug my sister.

I grabbed a plastic bag from the drawer and filled it with ice and placed it on my elbow as I heard the door of my sister's room creak open. I started to panic and tried to look busy as my sister appeared in front of me.

"Hey D." I smiled.

"What happened?" She pointed at my arm.

"Banged my elbow against my headboard." I shrugged and smiled. "You look ravished."

She laughed and pulled open the fridge and grabbed two beers. "Be careful. Don't need you landing in the ER just yet."

"You be careful." I smiled as she walked back to her room, and I held my breath until I heard the door close behind her.

I sat on the sofa and turned the TV on and tried to find something to watch that wasn't cartoons or infomercials. I had no such luck so I picked reruns of south park to keep my attention while I tried not to break down and cry.

"Or just cry." I said to myself as I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. "Get it all out." I turned off the TV and went to the bathroom, turning the shower on and adjusting the water until it was the perfect temperature. I stripped off my clothes and stepped in.

I frowned as I heard my phone start ringing and I reached out of the shower to grab it from my shorts.

"Hello." I spoke, my head still outside the shower.

"It's your dad, I'm on my way over." He said.

"Wait, I thought you weren't going to come over until tomorrow night?" I shut off the water.

"Change of plans, the run was postponed, one of our main guys couldn't make it." He said. "You guys already throwing a party?"

"No, no. We haven't made friends that quick." I laughed.

"I'll see you in twenty then." He hung up and I hopped out the shower and pulled my clothes on, not even bothering to dry off.

I pounded on my sister's bedroom door until it opened and her guy friend poked his head out and frowned down at me. "Can I help you?" He asked, his voice sent shivers down my spine and I suddenly felt terrified of his presence.

"Dasha dad will be here in twenty minutes maybe sooner!" I yelled under his arm and I heard her scramble from the bed.

"What?" She pulled open the door further. "Seriously?"

"He just called." I looked between the both of them and shifted awkwardly in the water puddle pooling at my feet. "Don't judge me, he called while I was in the shower." I turned around and disappeared into the bathroom and grabbed a towel and dropped it on the puddle.

"You should go." She said to her guy friend. "Our dad's over protective and shit."

"Got it." He smiled at her and leaned down for a kiss. "I'll call you later."

"Alright." She smiled at him. "Bye."

"Unfuckingbelievable." I mumbled as I poked the various red bite marks on her neck. "How you gonna explain those to dad?"

She shrugged. "None of his business, I'm grown." She shut her bedroom door in my face and I stalked off into my room to dry off and change into my pajamas.

SOASOASOA

I still couldn't believe my daughters were in Tacoma. I couldn't believe I had managed to keep them tucked away from this part of my life for so long. I knew it was only matter of time until they would venture into the outlaw side, but I hoped it would be on better terms. Not because they're mother died in a house fire that she probably caused herself.

I pulled in front of the house I was renting for them. Malia's car was parked awkwardly in the driveway and Dasha's still sat perfectly in front of the house. I shook my head at the cars, they represented each of them exactly. Dasha's mustang was strong and classic with a pop of color and Malia's Supra was loud and flashy.

I let myself in and found Malia laying across the sofa and Dasha wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Hey baby girl." I said as I appeared over my youngest daughter. "How's your night?"

She opened her eyes, they were blue just like mine. "It has been boring."

"Where's your sister? I know she's not sleep this early." I sat down on the coffee table.

"In her room." She sat up. "She went on a date."

"What the fuck?" I ran a hand over my face. "To think I was worried 'bout you going out and getting in trouble."

"First time for everything." She shrugged. "She had fun though. He brought her back early."

"Good." I sat on the sofa and put my feet on the table. "Dasha!"

I heard a door open followed by light footsteps as my oldest approached.

"Yeah?" She stood off to the side with her arms crossed.

"Heard you had a date." I smiled as I watched her face grow bright red with embarrassment.

"You told him?" She sneered at her sister.

"Didn't think it was a big deal!" Malia shouted. "I thought he'd want to know."

"It's none of his business." She said as her arms dropped to her sides.

"Knock it the fuck off!" I stood up. "You two sound like whiney little bitches."

"Sorry." They said together both of their heads hanging down in shame.

"Get your shit together. Mom's not here to referee your petty bullshit fights." I walked to Dasha. "You don't get mad at your sister for telling me shit."

"Yes, sir." She looked me in the eyes. Her brown eyes always threw me for a loop.

"You better tell that guy you went out with not to bite you anymore." I shook my head at the angry red marks on her neck.

"I will sir." She backed away from me and walked to sit on the sofa with her sister.

"Tomorrow. I have the run, so I won't be back until the day after." I spoke and they stared blankly at me. "You think you'll be alive when I get back? Malia? Dasha?"

"Yeah we will be." Malia responded. "Promise."

"Good, I want you two to play nice. So stick together. I don't want to keep repeating myself." I crossed my arms. "I love you girls."

"Love you too." They said as they stood up and enveloped me in a hug. They both smelled like cigarettes.

"Why do you smell like smoke?" I held Dasha away from me.

"The guy I was with smokes, I haven't gotten a shower in yet dad."

"Alright, do that and go to bed." I kissed her forehead and watch her disappear down the hall and her door shut.

"You, watch your sister. I know she's older but she has issues, so don't be mean to her." I ran a hand through her gorgeous blonde curls. "Love her and buy her books and coffee."

"I will look after her like always. I'm going to look for a job though. As soon as possible." She smiled at me. "I hate being cooped up all day."

"Same here, I hope you get job, use me as a reference, say my name is Henry Smith and put down my number and I'll give you a good ass review baby girl." I laughed and she shook her head vigorously.

"You're terrible." She laughed. "I'll do that if needed."

"I'm going to sleep." I stood up and walked to the guestroom. Taking off my boots and clothes I climbed into bed and smiled. I finally had my girls close to me. No more two day rides to see them, now I just had to figure out how to keep them out of the club, or find out if it's better to introduce them to the guys.

SOASOASOA

"Dasha!" I shook my sister's sleeping form. "Dasha! Wake up!"

"What?" She opened her eyes and stared at me groggily.

"It's a snow day!" I smacked her thighs. "Get up! Get up!"

"Bawse!" She sat up with a jolt.

"Dad pulled him in the garage already." I shrugged and pulled her off her bed and let her hit the floor with a thump. "Let's go play in the snow!"

"Let me just pull on my snow gear. Oh wait don't have any!" She stood up.

"Let's go, wear what you got on." I smiled as I dragged her behind me. "Snow angels."

"I'm going to make a snow demon." She ran past me and flung open the front door.

"Wait up!" I ran after her with our sneakers in my arms.

#

"I'm fucking dying right now." I sighed as I tossed my hair over my shoulder. "Dad takes this weather like it's a walk in the park."

"Dad's got more experience with it I guess." She sank lower in the tub causing the hot water to slosh around.

"That guy you hooked up with, think he'll call?" I watched her splash her face with water and slowly nod yes. "Really?"

"Yeah, we didn't even have sex, we made out like middle schoolers and talked about shit."

"All those bite marks are just from making out! Omg imagine what you'll look like after sex!" I splashed the water in her direction. "I'm going job hunting today, you want to come?"

She covered her mouth and started to snicker. "Yeah, I definitely want to come." She smiled.

"Such a one track mind." I shook my head. "I'll get a job, you won't because of your hair."

"I still might strip, maybe go over to Seattle or whatever. It's easy money." She dunked her head back and straightened back up, her hair stuck to her face, giving her the appearance of a wet rat.

"This is a chance for a new start Dasha, we can put that type of shit behind us. It's not needed anymore, mom is gone." I felt my eyes well up.

"I know, old habits die hard." She stood up. "I just don't know what I'm good at other than dancing, getting naked, sex, and cars."

"You have a bachelor's degree bitch." I stood up and grabbed a towel off the hook. "You could probably use it here, be one of those nerds who sit in coffee shops with their laptops and write and shit. Dad would be proud if you wrote a book about him."

"The Killer Koziks." She whispered. "I don't think it'd paint us in the right light.I don't even have money for a laptop yet!"

"At home with the Koziks!" I trilled. "Just wait out the insurance money or whatever."

"If we even get it, I'm sure mom started that fire, that ruined our old lives." She walked out of her bathroom and I followed. "She wasn't stable at the end."

"Yeah, but life insurance should be good right?" I frowned as I watched her get dressed and toss clothes just anywhere around her room. Not even here a full day and her room was a mess.

"I guess, dad is dealing with all that shit, technically they were still you know."

"Married." I shrugged. "You're nothing like her if that's what you're worried about D."

"I don't know." She stood in front of me and pouted. "I'm crazy Mali."

"Only when off your meds." I grabbed her hands. "On them you're as normal as one can be."

"Define normal."

I stood up and walked to my room and she followed behind. "Normal is what you did last night, hang out with a guy you found attractive and made out."

"Phenomenal with his mouth." She smiled wryly.

"I didn't need to know that." I scrunched up my face at her as I pulled on my clothes.

"I don't think it's fair that you got all dad's best features." She ran her hands through my hair and let it flutter from her fingers. "Blonde hair blue eyes and I'm the moussy one with brown hair and brown eyes."

"You're gorgeous. You look like mom from when she was in high school."

"Great, got her looks and her mental issues. Lucky me." She sprayed my perfume and walked through it.

"No pity party." I poked her forehead. "Take your meds and let's go find jobs or whatever."

She chuckled. "Or whatever. Think dad would be pissed if I got a sugar daddy?"

"I'd kill you if you did." His voice came out of nowhere.

"We thought you left." I looked at him.

"Oh, I did but I'm glad I came back. You're not getting a sugar daddy, if you need money you ask me or you work." He stared down at Dasha and she moved back.

"OK, sir." She rattled off. "I need two thousand dollars for a new laptop and shit."

"Well it'll have to wait until I come back. I'm broke right now." He smiled. "I put chains for your tires in the garage, so put them in the trunks just in case."

"Thanks dad." I smiled at him.

"Both of you behave, and Dasha no more random hook ups! That guy could have killed you!"

"Alright." She shrugged. "No more."

"I'm heading back out, call if you have an emergency." He smiled and pulled the both of us into a huge bear hug. "Love you little shits."

"Love you too." We said as he pushed us away.

"Don't get killed." Dasha said.

"Never do." He smiled and turned to leave.

"How does he even do that? Like sneak in without making noise? I need to learn that, I would kill everyone I hate with that tactic. I knew I should have went to the military." Dasha looked at me with a devious smile.

"I think it's best you don't know how." I smiled.

#

"I saw your help sign and I would love to apply." I smiled at the older woman behind the counter.

"You have experience darling?" She asked me with a warm smile.

"Yes, I do actually." I gave her a big smile. "Worked in a book store back home with my sister."

"Is that her?" She asked and I followed her gaze to Dasha, who had a growing pile of books at her feet.

I nodded. "She's a voracious reader. Went to college and everything."

"Here, take two applications, fill them out and give them back. I'll hire you both, I'm in dire need of the help." She slid the applications to me and handed me pens.

"Alright, I appreciate this so much!" I shook her hand and walked off to Dasha so she could fill her application out.

"D, fill this out and we have jobs here." I handed her a pen.

"Seriously?" She smiled. "Finally! This is like the twelfth place we hit up."

"How are you going to pay for those books?" I pointed at the stack she dropped on the table.

"I have a money in my account. I can buy books. Books are the homies. Don't judge, I see your eyes judging me. You ain't judge Judy, you cannot judge me." She laughed.

"Just fill it out." I tapped her application.

#

"She's cute." I whispered to Dasha as we watched a girl walk past us for the tenth time.

"Real cute." She didn't even hide the fact she was watching the girl's ass. "You better get her number or I will."

"You can't I called dibs, I'm the lesbian,you're not." I laughed.

"I don't need to be a lesbian to appreciate and worship the female form." She smiled. "I'm going to the bathroom, you get her number. Be brave young one."

I watched her walk off towards the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief. I loved her to death but she was killing me and my personality with her huge one.

"Hey." The girl stopped at my sister's empty chair.

"Hi." I said shyly.

"I just came over to see if you'd want to hang out some time." She smiled. "I'm Paola."

"Malia." I shook her hand. "I'd like that." I slid my phone towards her and watched her put in her number.

"Your girlfriend won't mind?" She asked.

"Oh, ew, no. That's my sister." I laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed." She frowned.

"It's a common mistake." I smiled.

"I'll see you around." She gave a tiny wave and walked off. I sent her a text and she responded quickly. I smiled at my phone, not caring if I looked like an idiot. Tacoma was working out so far and I hoped nothing would change that.


	3. Chapter 3 Tote

I paced back and forth in my charter president's office. I decided to tell him about my daughters with the hope of the club being able to protect them if anything ever happened to me and they were left without anyone to help them out if need be.

"What's up Koz?" Lee asked as he pushed the office door shut behind him.

"I gotta tell you something important." I rubbed my hands over my face and gave him a pained expression.

"Jesus, Kozik." He said. "You relapse?"

"No, no." I said. "It's something totally different it's a happy thing."

"What did he do now?" He asked.

I laughed uneasily. "Not Happy, the situation is a happy one."

"Just fucking spit it out." He slammed his hand against my chest.

"I have two daughters and they just moved here because their mom was crazy and burned their house down along with herself."

"Well I'll be damned." He sat on the end of his desk. "You have kids?"

"Yeah, two gorgeous pain in the ass daughters." I smiled and reached into my wallet and handed him a picture. "Dasha and Malia."

"Gorgeous, bring them in, they look like cute kids." He said as he handed the picture back.

"See that's the thing, they're not exactly kids anymore. More like little adults. Dasha is twenty threw and Malia is twenty one."

"You're shitting me." He looked at me with shock.

"No." I said. "They're here and grown. I didn't want them apart of this life, I seen what it did to families first hand and I wanted them to grow up away from it all. Now they're here and I'm fucking losing my sanity."

"Christ, I don't know what to tell you. I can suggest you bring them around and let the guys know to protect them of they see them around and getting in trouble but I don't fuckin' know what else to say." He ran his hand over his face and sat down. "Grown kids? You kept them a secret for two decades Herman!"

"I know!" I let out a groan. "I don't want them involved but I don't want them to think I brought them here and just plan to ignore them for the club."

"SAMCRO is coming up for a visit. We're having a party. Bring the girls then and they'll see how the guys are and won't touch them." He said with a smirk.

"Malia won't, she's a lesbian I'm pretty sure on that. Dasha she's the quiet one usually but she already hooked up with a random guy and she's been here like a day! I don't know how their mom fucking kept an eye on them." I sat down in the chair. "They're going to give me a heart attack."

"Calm down, Koz. You'll be fine. We look after our brothers and their families. Yours won't be any different. Just introduce them to all the brothers so of they see them around they know they'll be safe and can ask them for help." He patted my shoulder. "Two daughters and I'm just now hearing about it."

"Sorry." I stood. "You can be Uncle Lee now." I laughed. "Don't freak out if they start asking for money, that's what Uncles are for."

"They're out of luck, child support takes my money." He laughed. "Tuesday is the party, so you have tomorrow and the early part of Tuesday to prep them or back out."

I nodded slowly and walked out. I needed alcohol and I needed it badly. I searched the clubhouse and found Happy sitting at the bar, a sweetbutt hanging off his arm and a bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Hap." I nodded a greeting and he nodded back. "Mind if I bum this off you?" I pointed to the vodka.

"No." He passed it to me and I took a long pull from it. "You good brother?"

"Nope." I shook my head. "Ex wife problems."

"That's why I can't get married. I hate dealing with problems with women, I can't kill them." He smiled at me.

"Tell me about it. I'm not giving this back." I waved the bottle and walked off towards the dorms and grabbed a lonely sweetbutt on the way. I needed to get my mind off my daughters for a little while and sex was the best distraction.

SOASOASOA

"STOP!" I yelled at my sister. "MALIA!" I stomped over to her and pulled the squirt gun out of her hand as she shook with silent laughter. "This isn't funny, you got my book wet!"

"Its…just a book." She laughed out as she fell to the floor. "Calm down."

"No!" I closed the book and tossed it to the coffee table. "Don't be mean."

"Stop being so psychotic!" She yelled and covered her mouth. "Dasha, I'm so sorry, you know what I meant by that."

I shrugged. "It's whatever Malia." I walked to the sofa and laid down and pulled out my phone.

"I'm sorry, for real." She stood above me and looked at me the way our mom used to when she was worried about me.

"It's ok Mali. I know what you meant." I turned my attention back to my phone. "Did you get that girl's number?"

"Yeah I did." She smiled. "We're going to hang out this weekend."

"It's Sunday."

"Well, this upcoming Saturday we have plans." She said.

"Ohh, that's cool. Be safe. Dental dams are required." I laughed.

"We're not there yet. I'm still scarred from the Bryce experience." She sat on my legs. "Dad should be by later."

"Don't remind me. I thought he'd be gone longer." I sighed. "He's checking in on us too much."

"He's nervous."

"I get that but shit, he's going to stress himself out for no reason other than him imagining we're getting sucked into his second life." I sat up. "Herman needs to relaxed."

"I still can't believe he's Herman." She laughed. "Grandma and Grandpa were old school."

"Uncle Mel though." I shrugged. "He's the weirdo of the family."

"I know, last we seen him he was in a metallic speedo and rollerblading." She laughed.

"Pretty sure he was strung out on something." I looked at her. "You think he's gotten his shit together?"

"Probably. Dad hasn't complained about him."

"Truuue." I said as the doorbell sounded. "You expecting anyone?"

"Nope." She stood and pulled open the door. "It's for you."

"Hey!" I stood and walked over to Happy. "What's up?"

"Thought I'd pop by." He closed the door behind him.

"Alright." I smiled. "That's my sister Malia by the way."

"Hi." She said as she looked scared out of her mind.

He nodded and I led him back to my room. "She's afraid of you."

"Smart girl. Why aren't you?" He asked as he closed my door behind us.

"Should I be?" I asked.

"Yeah." He rasped as he fell onto my bed.

"I'm not." I smiled. "You look intense but you seem non threatening right now."

"Whatever." He pulled me down on top of him and kissed me.

"You taste like scotch." I pulled away from him. "You shouldn't drink and ride your bike."

"I always do." He sat up. "You gonna lecture me little girl?"

"Nope." I shook my head as I stradled his lap. "If you do it all the time then it mustn't be too bad."

"It's not." He smirked as he pulled my head down for another quick kiss. "You, you're bad."

"Am I?" I looked at him.

"Yup. First woman I've taken on a date in forever." His face twisted up in a grimace. "You're in my head little girl."

"Good." I laughed.

"Not good bad." He shook his head. "This is all too fast."

"I know." I frowned. "We can like go two days not talking and see how shit goes."

"Nah." He shrugged. "I gotta go, work calls." He waved his phone.

"See ya." I stared at his back. There was something about him that was familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it just yet and it was bothering me. I've known him for a day and I was already having feelings.

SOASOASOA

"I'm taking you to a party tonight." Our dad said as he shoveled a handful of chips in his mouth.

"I don't want to go." I said. "That's not my scene anymore."

"I'll go." Dasha chimed in as she applied another layer of lipstick on her already red lips. "I love free alcohol."

"Yeah, I'm taking you too meet the club, not to drink Dasha." He said.

"I'll go, just to see D, get fucked up and try to hump inanimate objects." I smiled.

"That happened twice and you won't let it go." She tossed her lipstick at me.

"Hide all the chairs and ottomans!" I laughed. "Furniture fetish."

"I don't wanna hear that shit Malia." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Sorry." I shot him the puppy dog look.

"Both of you are going." He stood. "Dasha don't dress slutty and Malia don't dress homely."

"Homely?" I looked at him then at my clothes and figured he was right. I did dress a little older than was called for.

"Ha." Dasha said.

"I rather be homely than slutty!" I tossed water at her.

"Dad! You saw that!"

"I'm not getting involved, you guys are driving me into an early grave." He sat back down. "I don't wanna die before I'm at least 80."

"How would you feel if one of us dated a man your age?" I asked and made eye contact with Dasha.

He turned around and looked at Dasha and she turned red and let her hair fall over her face. "Dasha." He said calmly. "Tell me she's being hypothetical."

"She is. I'm not even dating the guy!" She stepped back until she bumped into the island in the center of the kitchen.

"Dasha!" He boomed. "Really? A maold enough to be your dad?"

"He's attractive and I can't help who I'm into dad." She shrugged and tried to move away from his further.

He moved and placed a hand on either side of her, trapping her against the refrigerator and it was in that moment that I realized I shouldn't have brought the subject up.

"Dasha, I don't want you with him. End whatever the fuck it is you have with him." He was speaking angrily in her ear and I saw her eyes fill with tears as she looked at me then looked back at him.

"Alright, sir." She said. She always called him sir when she was getting in trouble or getting yelled at for her bullshit antics.

"I'm serious." He said.

"I got it dad." She slid down to the floor.

"Are you really crying right now?" He looked down at her and tried to pull her up but she yanked her arms from his grasp.

"You hurt my feelings." She sniffed. "I hate you and I hate Malia right now." She stood up and ran off to her room and shut the door so hard it knocked the paintings off the hallway walls.

"Fuck!" He yelled as he tossed the vase of flowers to the ground. "I don't know how to handle this shit. I never had to set dating boundaries for you two."

"I know, but if it makes you feel better, she hates everyone when she cries. Mom was way more strict when it came down to her dating." I bit my cheek. "Dasha just has more rules."

"Should I apologize now?" He looked at me.

"No, let her cool off." I smiled. "I have work, so I'm heading out. You two need to work together." I laughed.

"Smartass." He said with a smirk. "I'll see you later, you're coming to that party."

"Fine. Dad, I love you. Stay out of trouble."

#

Stacking books wasn't my ideal job, but I really couldn't afford to be picky. I had spent the better half of the last hour removing the children's books off their shelves. By the order of my new boss it was my job to alphabetize the books to make it easier for customers to find.

"Alright, Malia." I said to myself as I began to separate the neat stacks of books circling me. This was more Dasha's thing then it was mine. That girl was a nerd in the best way.

"Malia." My boss Vivien said. "Good job so far." She smiled down at me.

"Thanks." I smiled back at her. "And thanks again for hiring me and my sister."

"No problem, you two seem like good young women." She nodded. "I was coming over here to let you know I just put fresh cookies and lemonade in the break room."

"You had me at cookies." I stood up and followed her back into the break room. It smelled like a bakery, the plate of cookies sitting in the center of the Formica table was piled high.

"Sit. Help yourself." She smiled. "Tell me about you and your sister."

"Well, we're from Texas originally if you couldn't tell by our slight accents." I smiled and took a bite of my cookie. "Dasha is my older sister, she's twenty three and living life. I'm twenty one and trying to discover what it is I want to do. Our dad is ex military and our mom passed away recently. So we had to move up here to be with our dad because our house burned down."

"Oh my." She placed a hand on her cheek. "So sorry to hear about your mother. You poor darlings. Did she lose her life in the fire?"

"I'm not too sure, they think she was gone before the fire consumed everything." I frowned and wiped away tears. "It's sad but I'm sure I'll survive it and come to terms with it."

She pulled me into a hug. It was one of the grandmotherly hugs that I always loves getting from my grandmas. "You're going to be ok darling." She rubbed my back. "I'm here if you ever need to talk."

"I appreciate that a lot." I smiled and wipes away my tears. "Never met anyone so nice before."

"I got a soft spot for young ladies, I had a granddaughter. Lost her to drugs and that annoying motorcycle club. Sons of Anarchy." She shook her head with disgust. "Nothing good comes from them being here."

"I haven't come across them." I smiled.

"Keep your distance." She smiled. "Let's get back to work. We got a lot to do before closing."

"That's the truth." I followed her out of the break room and back to the stack of books I had yet to tackle.

SOASOASOA

"Change." I looked at my eldest child and shook my head at her choice of attire.

"It's the only party outfit I have right now Herman." She crossed her arms and stared me down. She looked like her mom but possessed my attitude which is why we had a strained relationship most of the time.

"You need to cover your tits." I tossed my arms in the air out of frustration. "Borrow a shirt from your sister."

"OK." She turned around and went into her room and made a show out of slamming her door.

"You guys need therapy." Malia said as she walked out of the kitchen. "I swear it."

"You look nice." I smiled at her skirt, shirt and leather jacket.

"Thanks. Picked it up after work. Thrift shops here are golden." She twirled around and fell onto the sofa. "You could have got your sister something."

"She should have come with me. I invited her." She shrugged.

"How does this look?" Dasha stood in front of us.

"Where'd you get that outfit from?" Malia frowned at her sister. "I love the boots, very biker bitch."

"I went shopping." She shrugged.

"I like your jacket." I pulled on the sleeves of her letterman like jacket. "High school chic."

"Very." She smiled. "Do I look good?"

"Yes!" Malia yelled.

"Why do you wanna look good?" I asked her as she put lipstick on.

"I overheard these girls talking about all the hot guys that are in the Sons of Anarchy and I was like dish. They told me about the wild parties you guys throw. I want to look good around hot guys." She sighed and smiled at me.

"I'm having second thoughts." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Don't do this to me Dasha."

"I'm not going to get involved with them dad. There's no harm in flirting with them is there?"

"Yes." I said. "They're perverted old men. Stay away no flirting."

"I can talk at least right?" She flashed me a huge smile.

"Yeah." I caved in. "Talk."

"Can I bring a friend dad?" Malia finally joined back into our conversation.

"Sure." I said. "He better be nice."

"Oh, she's well a she. Her name is Paola."

"Yeah." I smiled. "Tell her to get here fast."

"I'm riding with you dad." Dasha said. "I'm not being stuck in the supra with her and her friend because I'll be in the backseat."

"Fine." I said. "Let's just get this shit done with."

"You're nervous why?" She asked me.

"Because my daughters are about to party with a bunch of outlaws and I'm not too sure how this shit will fucking end. It scares me that I can no longer shut you two out of the bad parts of my life."

"If it helps, we already know you kill people." Dasha wrapped her arms around me in a hug. "We love you regardless of the bad shit. You're our dad!"

"How do you know I kill people?" I looked down at her.

"We assumed, now you confirmed." She smiled. "So relax, or at least try too relax."

"I'll try." I kissed her nose. "Let's go. You and Paola cool to meet us there?"

"Yes dad." Malia said.

I led Dasha out of the house and too my bike just as a car came to a stop in front of the house and Malia came bounding down the walk and to the car. I smiled and got on my bike and started it up as Dasha slid behind me. We were soon off to a party I wasn't entirely sure was still a good idea to tote my daughters to.


	4. Chapter 4 Sweetbutt

The parking lot of SAMTAC was packed. The SAMCRO guys were there and their bikes took up our normal spots so I pulled in the best I could and Dasha and I hopped off. While Malia and her friend parked and got out.

"So this is my home." I said as they three young women stood in front of me.

"Badass." Dasha smiled at the set up, I knew she would because she was more of me than I cared to admit out loud. "I'm so upset you didn't bring us here sooner."

"I think it looks like a frat house." Malia said with a huge smile. "I like it too."

"I've been here before." Paola said.

"Cool." I smiled at them and escorted them into the party, they drew stares and smiled politely as I tried to find Lee.

"Koz!" Jax Teller clapped me on the back. "What's up brotha?"

"Nothin'." I hugged him. "Looking for Lee, you see him?"

"Yeah, he's in his office." He smirked and nodded at Dasha. "You not going to introduce us?"

"I will after I speak to Lee." I escorted the girls towards the office.

"Koz." Lee said as I entered the office sans my daughter. "Where are they?"

"Here." I pulled open the door and Dasha and Malia walked in smiling. "Lee, these are my girls. Dasha and Malia."

"I'm Dasha." She smiled.

"I'm Malia."

"Wow." He rubbed his face. "I still can't believe you have two grown ass daughters."

"Believe it." I smiled. "They're my pride and joy."

"You let her dye her hair like that?" He pointed to Dasha.

"For your information, I'm an adult and I chose these colors then Malia dyed my hair." She crossed her arms and puffed her chest out.

"She's your daughter for sure." He laughed.

"That she is." I smiled. "Let's go do the introduction and be through with it."

"I'm not doing that shit dad." Dasha whined.

"You just stand. I'll talk." I pushed them out of the office.

"Alright! Listen up!" Lee boomed. "I got two new family members to introduce you all to."

"Hey brothers," I started. "I want you all to meet my daughters Dasha and Malia. They just moved up here from Texas."

"Daughters?" Tig asked.

"Yeah brother." I said.

"You never mentioned them to me!" He looked hurt.

"I didn't want you to scare them off." I laughed.

A group gathered around and started to chat up my daughters and they both looked uncomfortable. Dasha started to squirm so I tapped her shoulder and pulled her off to the side.

"If you need quiet go to my room in the back. Has the K on the door." I handed her my keys and she nodded at me before she walked off.

I watched Malia interact with her friend Paola while I sipped on a beer and scanned the room for my best friend Happy. I hadn't seen him in the crowd and I really wanted him to meet my girls.

SOASOASOA

My dad's room was sloppy to say the least. Looking around I finally figured out where I got my lack of organization from. I sat on the end of the small bed and gathered my thoughts. Big groups aren't my things, too many people talking to me at once, that made my anxiety shoot through the roof. I was more of the sit at the bar and people watch. I could dance without worry, I just didn't care too much for being talked to unless it was one on one.

There was a knock on the door, followed by a twist of the door knob and I stood up, waiting to plead my case on why I was in the room with whomever happened to walk through it.

"Koz." His voice came through loud and clear.

"Happy." I said as I yanked the door open.

"Dasha? What the fuck are you here for?" He pinned me against the door by my hips. "You fucking Kozik?"

I pushed his hands off of my hips. "No, I'm not."

"Then why you here little girl?" He put his hands back on my hips.

"My dad brought me and my sister here." I looked up at him.

"Who's your dad?" He pushed away from me.

"Kozik." I said and he jumped back from me like I was a monster.

"You're his daughter?" He rubbed a hand over his head.

"Yeah. Are you a Son?"

"Yup." He looked down at me. "Fuck."

"You can say that again. He's going to kill me for this!" I grabbed the keys from the desk and went to leave, but Happy pushed the door shut.

"Calm down." He said against my neck. "He won't find out, if we don't tell him."

"I guess." I sighed as he kissed my neck. "No hickies." I pushed him away.

"Look at me Dasha." He grabbed my chin. "I can keep a secret if you can." I nodded and he pulled open the door. "I'll walk out first. Give it a few and you walk out."

"Alright." I smiled and he kissed me again. I knew this was a horrible mistake I was about to make, but he made me feel alive and he made me smile. Which was two things I needed desperately in my life at the moment.

I walked out of the room and locked it behind me. I pocketed the keys and turned to walk out when the blonde guy from when we first got here stopped me with a touch to the arm.

"Hello darlin'." He smiled at me. "You enjoyin' yourself?"

"Nope." I smirked. "Can't say that I am."

"That's too bad." He shook his head and his hair fell out of place. "I'm Jax, by the way."

"I'm Dasha, but you probably already knew that because of the introduction thing." I felt flustered.

He chuckled. "I know, it's nice to meet you."

"Same." I smiled.

"Want to go grab a beer? You're old enough to drink right?" He led us back to the party.

"Yeah I am." I smiled as we pushed through the crowd. I saw Malia and Paola dancing and a group of guys looking on in amusement and I clenched my jaw. "This party for your charter?" I pointed to his Redwood patch.

"Yup." He handed me a beer. "SAMTAC treats SAMCRO really well when we make the trip up here."

"Where are you based?" I asked, him and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"You're really an outsider." He laughed. "Cali."

"Never been." I laughed. "Always wanted to live there but couldn't talk my sister into making the move."

"She agreed to come to this cold ass place though?" He smiled as he sipped his beer.

"Ahh. We had no real choice but to move here." I shook my head. "Lost our mom and house in a fire. Tragic."

"Sorry to hear that." He gave me a sympathetic look.

I shrugged. "Thanks."

"How old are you anyways?" He gave me a once over.

"Twenty three." I smiled. "You?"

"Jesus, I got like a decade on you." He laughed.

"You don't look it." I smiled. "I see my dad, I'll catch you around before you leave yeah?"

He lifted his beer and nodded. "Yeah."

I squeezed through the bodies and tripped into my dad and spilled my beer on the person next to him and I looked up and saw Happy glaring down at me.

"Hey." I smiled at them. "I just met that Jax guy, he's cool."

"He's the SAMCRO president." My dad said.

"He seems too young for that. Too pretty for an outlaw too." I chuckled nervously. "I think I need fresh air." I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe in the crowded space, that suddenly smelled too much like cigarettes and not enough like fresh air.

"Calm down." He said. "Dasha, just breathe."

"I can't." I grasped at my throat and pulled off my jacket as I pushed my way through the crowd and towards the door. Wishing the fresh air would come faster.

"D, you good?" I heard Malia ask, but she sounded so distant. "She's going to pass out, get her some water." She was talking to someone, I tried looking around but my vision started going blurry and my mouth felt like I was chewing on cotton balls.

SOASOASOA

I've seen Dasha have plenty of panic attacks, and they never got any easier to watch or help her through. As we got older they seemed to get worse and as I held her arms and tried calming her down I looked around and tried to figure out what triggered her to panic. I looked at our dad, he was crouched down holding her hand and a bottle of water with a look of sheer terror painted on his face.

"Talk to me D." I rubbed her forehead. "Tell me about your book." I looked down into her glazed over eyes and smiled. "Talk to me love."

She moved her eyes and I followed her gaze to a shadowy figure. I then looked back at her. "He's a Son." She whispered.

"Holy shit." I said. "Really?"

She slowly nodded and reached out for the bottle of water.

"I see why this happened." I whispered to her. "Secret is good with me."

"You going to be ok?" Our dad asked her as he helped stand her up.

"Yeah I'm fine. You guys go back to the party." She smiled weakly and pressed the bottle to her face. "Go."

"Stay out here. Breathe." I gave her a quick hug. "Find me if you need me."

"She get those a lot?" He asked.

"Yeah she does." I shrugged. "Only usually in large crowds and when she's stressed."

"I wonder what stressed her." He frowned. "I'll chill out here, you go have fun."

"Alright dad." I kissed his cheek and headed back inside to find Paola. She was still dancing away, this time she was dancing with some guy with a mohawk and head tattoos. I rolled my eyes and walked over to her and she pulled me against her.

"How's your sister?" She yelled over the music.

"She had a panic attack but she'll be fine." I smiled as we danced together with Mohawk.

"Who had a panic attack?" He asked me with a goofy smile.

"My sister. She's outside." I smiled back. "I'm Malia."

"I'm Juice!" He yelled. "I'm going to go grab fresh air."

We watched him go and shook our heads. "Juice?" I laughed. "That's an interesting name."

"He was hot!" She smiled.

"Yeah he was." I smiled back at her. "Better go get his number."

"I already got it." She smiled and I laughed.

"You better use it before he leaves. He's just a visiting charter." I said.

"Yeah, I know." She pouted. "I'd fuck him but only if you joined in."

I felt myself blush. "I've never been with a guy before."

"Seriously? You gotta try it at least once."

I shrugged. "I guess I do. My sister keeps telling me the same damn thing."

"Smart woman." She smiled. "Let's get some air and privacy." She grabbed my hand and led me outside. We passed Dasha who was laying on the table with dad and Happy looking down at her and Juice had planted himself at the same table with a joint hanging from his lips. I wanted to bum a hit off him but decided not to.

"This is fun." I smiled. "Much needed treat after all I been through back home."

"Yeah it is fun." She let out a satisfied sigh as we sat on her car. "Your dad is a son? That must have been cool growing up."

I shrugged. "Didn't grow up around this whole life. This is my first encounter with it and it's intense."

"Woah." She looked at me with a wide eyed expression. "You might just like it all."

"We shall see." I looked up at the sky. "You a normal hang around here or something?"

"Yeah, proper term is sweetbutt." She laughed softly.

"Huh?" I looked at her. The term sounded degrading almost.

"I'm like a ho." She frowned. "Sleep around."

"Oh, hmm." I felt my stomach grow uneasy. She wasn't what I thought she was.

"It's bad but it's a way of life here." She looked towards the clubhouse. "I didn't sleep with your dad."

"Thank god for that." I smiled.

"Slept with the intense looking one with the snake tattoo a whole lot. Then he cut me off a few days back. Said he met someone." She frowned. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"It's cool." I slid off the car. "Friends share shit with each other." I lit up a cigarette I had tucked in my bra.

"That they do." She said, her voice sounded sad all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" I looked at her.

"You judged me." She whispered.

"I didn't judge you, I just came to the conclusion you're more friend material than girlfriend material." I stubbed out my cigarette on the side of my shoe. "It happens."

"I shouldn't have told you I was a sweetbutt." She laughed.

"I would have found out eventually." I shrugged. "It is what it is."

"I guess so."

"Not the end of the world. I still think you're gorgeous and cool." I smiled. "Just don't know if I could be someone who willingly slept with a group of homies."

"They're like brothers." She looked at me and frowned.

"That's even worse." I laughed. "To each their own though. I'm bout to go make friends with Juice and see if he'll share some bud with me."

"You need a ride home still?" She asked.

"Yeah. Let's link up in a few hours." I smiled and walked towards the picnic table.

"Mali!" Dasha wrapped her hands around my neck. I did the same, struggling a bit because she was a few inches taller than me.

"D!" I smiled. "You look better."

"I feel blah but thanks for you know." She smiled at me.

"Welcome." I sat down and she sat down on my lap. "Juice."

"Yeah?" He looked at us and blushed.

"Wanna share?" I pointed to the joint between his fingers.

"Yeah." He took a hit then passed it to me, then I passed it to Dasha who returned it to Juice.

"How do you like this place D?" I braided her hair back.

"It's cool. Did you meet Jax?" She looked at me. "He's so handsome."

"Is he?" I was interested in seeing him..

"Yeah. He's all hey darlin'." She drawled. "It's weird but attractive."

"Juice is handsome." I smiled as he looked at me.

"You think so?" He asked as he sat up straighter and smiled.

"Yeah I do." I nodded.

"That's saying a lot, she's basically a lesbian." Dasha interjected.

"Shut up. Omg." I blushed.

"What happened to Paola?" He asked.

"Sent her on her own. She told me she's a sweetbutt and just fucks the club for fun." I looked at my hands. "I can't deal with that, I don't think."

"Eww! Tell me she hasn't fucked dad!" Dasha stood up and looked at me.

"Nope. She did however sleep with Happy." I felt bad telling her but it wasn't right to keep it from her. "She's bitter because he cut her off a few days ago when he met someone."

"How do people even feel comfortable telling you shit like that?" She sat between Juice and me.

"I dunno." I took a nice long hit of the joint. "You partake in dipping into the sweetbutt pool Juice?"

"Sometimes." He tried to hide the blush rising in his face.

"I don't blame you." Dasha said. "Easy pussy and temporary company do wonders to relax men."

"How would you know?" He asked her.

"The internet." She laughed.

"Ignore her, she's a weirdo." I smiled at him. "Would I be able to persuade you to sell me some of this amazing herb?"

"Yeah you can persuade me." He flashed a goofy smile.

#

Persuading Juice wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be. I just had to outwit him in Star Wars trivia, which I did, thanks only to Dasha's obsession with the saga.

"How did you know all that?" He laughed and handed over the green nugs.

"Dasha." I smiled. "She has a tattoo of Vader and Yoda on her thigh."

"Really?" He smiled. "That's cool. I'm going to need to see that!"

"Ask her I'm pretty sure she's down to show it off." I laughed.

"I don't know she looks pretty into whatever Jax is telling her." He pointed in their direction.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Seems to be that way." I frowned, leave it to Dasha to catch the eye of not one but two men who were explicitly off limits to her.

"What's your thing?" He asked me.

"My thing is hair." I smiled. "You ever think about adding color to your mohawk?"

"I wanted it red once." He looked at me. "Then I figured the guys would say it looked like a red head's landing strip."

I cackled. "Yeah I could picture the likeness."

"Why isn't your hair colorful?" He twirled a few strands through his fingers.

"My dad would flip if I touched the color." I answered.

"She wasn't a blonde or what?" He asked.

"No, she's a brunette. She tends to do whatever she finds cool to her hair. She even had a mohawk herself." I laughed. "Under those tresses lies tattoos. She's an ink enthusiast."

"How about you?" He lit up another joint and handed it to me.

"I have a few tattoos." I smiled. "All of them drunken mistakes."

"That's how my head tattoos came to be." He laughed.

"Yours are COOL. Mine are the bad drunken kind. Like cupcakes and hearts. I even have a butterfly." I let my head fall down in mock embarrassment.

"Typical girl tattoos." He laughed.

"I thought they were going to add to my persona. I wanted to be a bad ass party girl." I smiled.

"Yeah, no. Should have gotten brass knuckles." He handed me the joint.

I turned my head and lifted my hair so he could see the ink behind my ear. "Brass knuckles with a butterfly." I laughed. "Badass right?"

"Ha! Totally!" He squeezed my knee. "I have to go, club meeting in a little while. I'll see you around before I leave right?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "See you around."

"Bye Malia." He handed me the joint back.

"Bye Juice." I gave a small wave. I sat back and smoked a little longer before turning my attention to the people. Happy was in the corner with my dad and some other older creepy looking guy, Paola was sitting on some fat dude's lap, there was an older guy with sunglasses sitting alone with a bottle of whiskey and Dasha was laughing at whatever she was being told by a new weird looking kid who's kutte simply said prospect.

I let out a satisfied sigh as I took in the people. They were my dad's other family, they weren't perfect but they seemed to work together and interact perfectly. I could get used to this part of his life, or at least I hoped I'd be able to.


	5. Chapter 5 Heartbroken

**So I distinguished who's POV is who's, so hopefully it's less confusing. Also this chapter touches a bit on why Dasha calls her dad sir at times. So enjoy and I'll be updating really soon.**

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><p>Dasha POV.<p>

I was coming out of my bathroom when a hand clamped over my mouth and I started to writhe in panic trying to move out of the assailant's grasp.

"Relax." He whispered. "It's Happy."

I went lax and turned around to scowl at him. "What the fuck?" I shoved him away and he smirked at me. "How did you get in here?"

"Window." He nodded back towards the open window.

"Creepy much?" I asked as I moved towards the bed.

He shrugged. "Shouldn't have left it open."

"It's almost six in the morning, what're you doing up?" I crawled into bed and pulled the heavy blanket on me up to my knees.

"What're you up for?" He sat down next to me, his feet hanging off the side.

"Couldn't sleep." I shrugged. "Party was too much."

"Yeah." He sighed. "I saw you with Jax and Rat."

"They're cool. Especially Rat." I smiled. "He's hilarious."

"I'm funny." He said.

"Are you really?" I looked at him. "Could have fooled me. I guess I can't pick up on your sunny disposition."

"Acquired talent." He shrugged. "Kozik here?"

"Yup." I relaxed into the pillows and pulled me legs up. Absentmindedly tracing over the intricate details of the mandala above my right knee.

"He stay here often?" He looked up at me.

"Nope. Well it's hard to say since we haven't been here long. But he's stayed like two days so far." I smiled. "Why are you here?"

"Am I not allowed to see you little girl?" He pulled himself up and sat next to me. His feet still hanging off the bed.

"You are. I just thought you'd use the front door or call. Maybe send a text. Not sneak into my room." I laughed.

"Sneaking in was the best option." He kissed my temple. "Secret, remember?" He moved his finger between us.

"I know!" I relaxed against him. "Never had to hide something like this from him though."

"Yeah?" He rubbed the tattoo I had been touching moments before.

"Yeah. He wasn't around for most relationships I had." I shrugged.

"How much ink do you have?" He turned his attention to my other leg.

"Not enough." I laughed. "How about you?"

"A lot. Still have space to add more." He smirked.

"I wanna get a tattoo on my face." I smiled. "Thinking about getting 'Legend' right here." I traced a spot at my hairline.

"No." He rasped. "That'd look stupid."

"It could be dope." I frowned at him.

"Dopey." He said. "Too pretty for that."

"I guess so." I shrugged. "You gonna tell me why you're really here?"

"Had to check in on you." He whispered. "You fuckin' passed out."

"I had a panic attack." I sighed. "They usually aren't that bad. I just saw you with my dad and like it just hit me harder than ever. Then I had to tell Malia what was up, so she wouldn't be like omg D, that's the dude who you went out with!" I laughed and he smiled at me.

"Can't have that." He said.

"Then to top shit off, her little friend Paola told Malia she's a sweetbutt and sleeps with ALL the guys." I breathed.

"Oh, yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah." I looked at him. "She even admitted to fucking you but she claims she hasn't fucked Herman but idk about that honestly."

"She has." He rasped. "Walked in on it."

"Oh my fuckig god." I clamped my hand over my mouth. "I gotta go tell Malia." I slid out of bed and padded towards the door. "You stay here."

"Didn't think of moving." He shook his head as I walked out the door and pulled it shut. I let myself into my younger sister's room and closed the door. She was awake, her phone in her hands, she was tangled in her blankets.

"D." She looked up at me.

"Omg! I have to tell you what Happy told me just a minute ago!" I hopped on her bed and tossed her phone out of reach.

"Happy is here?" She cocked her head to the side. "Dad's here!"

"That's not even the point!" I whispered. "Your friend Paola did fuck dad!"

"You're shitting me!" She smacked my shoulder.

"Nope! Happy said he walked in on them! Like ew!" I squealed.

"I can't believe she lied!" She grabbed her phone. "I was just texting her!"

"Then stop!" I laughed. "I gotta go, Hap and is waiting for me."

"How'd he even get in?" She lifted her brow.

"My window. He scared me!" I made a tsk tsk noise.

"He scares me, just on looks alone. We have work at ten so be ready."

"I will be." I waved at her then disappeared into the hall and back to my room. "What are you doing?" I asked Happy when my door was closed and locked.

"Picking your shit up." He looked at me.

"I see that, but why?" I sat on the dresser.

"Because your room is a mess." He said as he folded the pile of shirts I had thrown on the floor.

"It's not but ok." I laughed.

He rolled his eyes. "I like shit clean little girl."

"Alright." I just watched him put everything away, if he wanted it clean he could clean it. "Knock yourself out."

"All this shit is clean right?" He asked as he held up a pair of panties.

"Yeah. I washed it all before the party." I shrugged. "I couldn't jam it all into the dressers so I dropped it on the floor."

He shook his head at me and went back to folding and putting my clothes away. "Your sister this messy?"

"Nope. She's a clean freak. We had to stop sharing rooms at like six." I said as I fell onto my bed.

"Damn." He turned around with a smile as he held up a pair of panties with smiley faces all over them. "I'd like to see these on you."

"I bet." I smirked. "Maybe I'll wear 'em tonight."

"Then I'll have to sneak back over." He tossed them at me.

"I'll make sure to leave the window open for you." I sat up and watched him finish up. My room looked like Malia had been in here. I hated when she cleaned my room but I didn't mind that he had cleaned it. "Thanks."

"Try to keep it like this for a bit." He leaned down and kissed me hard. "I gotta go. Club business."

Just as if on cue I heard knocking on my door. I waited for him to be safely out the window before pulling the door open.

"I just wanted to say I was leaving." My dad stepped into my room.

"Alright." I frowned. "I have work anyways."

"Your room is clean." He looked around.

"I cleaned. I couldn't sleep."

"I see. I'm out though. I'll check in on you later. I love you." He kissed my nose.

"I love you too." I smiled.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

Work was work. It was boring. I wasn't enjoying it as much as Dasha was. I was in the kids section, still working on sorting out all the books from my previous shift.

"This is fun." I repeated to myself. "Books are homies." I added, it was Dasha's reasoning as to why her room always looked like a library in the making. "Grab a book, make a friend."

"Talking to yourself?" Dasha plopped down next to me. "And I'm the crazy one?" She smiled as she started on a pile of books.

"Need a mantra. I'm dying here." I pouted as I opened the book in my lap to a random page. "It's not me."

"You'll get through it." She smiled. "You always do. I found a club though I want to go audition."

"Dasha, you can't go back to that lifestyle here." I let my shoulders drop. "No need for it."

"M. It's quick and easy money. We need all the income we can get. We can't depend on Herman for every fucking thing we need." She took the book from me and placed it on the shelf.

"I know it's easy money but still. Don't you want a job that doesn't require you to be naked for once?" I pleaded with her. "Just for me, for once, don't do it

We don't need money like that. It's not before where we supported mom."

"For you, I won't. Just cheer up about this job. It's pretty cool." She smiled. She was always avoiding talking about mom and the way she dropped the burden of the house's finances on her.

"Seriously though D. Keep your clothes on." I smiled.

"Umm, I don't know. I'm about to go organize the romance novels, those get me all hot and bothered. Might disrobe and roll around in a pile of them." She laughed and waltzed off. I knew she was joking around with me but then again I wouldn't put it past her.

Lunch time was slowly approaching and I groaned at the clock. My stomach was growling and I kicked myself for skipping breakfast. I pushed off the floor and went to find Dasha who no doubt was probably packing snacks in her backpack.

"D." I said as I saw her messy silver bun. She turned and smiled. I walked around and saw Jax, standing there with her. A smug look on his face and a book in his hand.

"Hey Malia." He smiled at me.

"Hi." I gave him a small wave.

"Jax stopped by to say hi." Dasha smiled at us both. "Isn't that cool of him?"

"Yeah, so cool." I forced a fake smile in his direction. Dasha was oblivious to the fact he wanted to get in her pants. No guy just stops into a book store to say hi to a girl unless he wanted to get something out of it. "Do you have any snacks in your bag?"

"Yeah I do. It's in the break room. Take what you want Mali." She smiled at me and I walked off to grab the snacks.

Her fluffy white backpack was stuffed with snacks. I rummaged through and found cheetos and a bottle of lukewarm Snapple that would have to do until I could track down real food.

"Cheers." I said as I twisted off the top of Snapple and took a long sip. I pulled open the cheetos and ate a couple before tucking them into my smocks pocket. Cheesy fingers and books didn't go together but for the life of me today I just didn't care about work and seeing Jax here just made me more whatever about it all.

I did half wonder what was it about my sister that made guys like her. In my opinion I was prettier than her, I was the blonde bombshell. I looked at my reflection in the window and frowned. I was gorgeous but my clothing choice was taking me from a nine down to a measly two.

"Hey." I walked to the counter. "If you need any help finding a book let me know." I smiled at the customer and she just stared flatly at me.

I ate a few more cheetos and wiped my hands with a Kleenex before sitting down to organize the receipt drawer.

#

I sat on the trunk of my Supra. It was cold but it wasn't unbearable. I took a drag from my dwindling cigarette and exhaled. Smoking was a habit I wanted to kick but never gotten around to doing so. It was what set me apart from my sister. It gave me some type of character trait I desperately needed.

"Lunch is almost over." Dasha stuck her head out of the window.

"That was fast." I frowned and tossed the cigarette away from me.

"I know." She rolled up the window and got out of the car. Handing me my keys.

"Back to work." I slid off the car. "Kill me now."

"It's a temporary job. You have to apply for hair stylist jobs. I'll be your walking portfolio. God knows you've kept my hair in check." She linked her arm with mine as we walked back into the book store. "Speaking of hair. I want to go lavender with the ends dip dyed black."

"I can do that. We can hit up the beauty supply later." I smiled. "How are you staying to positive with this job?"

"Books are the homies. No matter what book you pick up you can probably find a character you relate to. I like books and writing so I am in my geeky element." She shrugged. "Let's get this shit done then we can cut out and get my rats nest all pretty again."

"I want to read Hunger Games." I laughed.

"Oh, girl. You're totally going to love Katniss." She smiled. "Let's knock it out MaMa."

"Don't call me that." I smacked her.

"Happy calls me little girl." She smirked at me as she sat on the ground in front of my books.

"That's weird." I rolled my eyes.

"It's so hot." She bit her lip. "You have to hear him when he says it. His voice is too sexy. Like its orgasm inducing."

"I'm going to ignore what you just said and focus on these books." I shook my head. "You need to find Jesus."

"I wholeheartedly believe that if Jesus didn't want us to have orgasms then he wouldn't have gave women clits." She laughed. "You check the adult section of the store out yet?"

"Should I?" I asked.

"Yes you should. It's amazing." She smiled.

"I'll check it out then." I smiled and we went back to working on the stacks. She was faster than I was but I didn't mind, I was just happy I was spending time with her and seeing her happy and relaxed. She was loving it here, I just hoped it would last.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Happy." I said. "You good brother?" He was staring at his phone willing it to ring.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm good."

"You waiting for a booty call?" I laughed.

"No." He shook his head slowly. "Waiting for a woman to reply to a date offer."

I spit my beer out. "A date?" I laughed

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah." He smirked. "Don't know if she'll yes though."

In all the years I've known Happy, he had never been on a date, let alone even had a girlfriend. He was all about easy pussy. Sweetbutts and strippers. He wasn't the type to settle down and date. "Gotta meet the woman who got you to date."

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Let's get this shit handled."

"You gotta run to your lady's house?" I scoffed. I was going to live up this moment and squeeze every drop of hilarity out of it.

"Actually I was going to go stalk your daughter." He gave me a serious look. "Ink on women is a kink of mine."

I felt my face fell. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. How'd he know about ink if they both came to the party covered? "How'd you know about their ink?"

"Saw Malia flashing her tattoos to Juice." He pulled on his helmet. "Can we get this shit done or do I really gotta stalk your daughter?"

"No need for that." I swallowed hard. "Let's go."

#

"Dad." Dasha said as she appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Yeah?" I looked at her.

"Can I ask you about Jax Teller?" She walked further into the kitchen and I had nowhere to go.

"What about him?" I looked at her face and hair. Her hair was purple and black. I frowned.

"He came to my job today." She frowned.

"For?" I felt myself getting pissed off.

"He said he stopped by to say hi." She sighed. "So is he like a good guy or what is his deal? He had a wedding ring on."

"You can't date him, he's off limits because he's a Son." I said. "There are run rules though. So what happens on a run stays on a run."

"So you guys cheat and then go home and place house like nothing happens?" She frowned at me.

"Yeah." I said. "It's the life."

"Is that why you and mom always argued when you came around?" She asked. Her eyes looked sad.

"What?" I looked at her and wiped a hand over my face.

"You argued a lot dad. You and her would go in her room and yell at each other." She crossed her arms.

"You remember that? You heard that shit?" I grimaced.

"I remember everything sir." She pouted and looked at the ground.

"Don't call me sir, Dasha." I always hated when she called me that. It reminded me of how I was a shitty father to her the first six years of her life.

"Sorry." She smiled at me. "Bad habit."

"I know. It was my fault you started saying that." I pulled her in to me and hugged her.

"Do you still love me less than you love Malia?" She whispered and I pulled away to look at her.

"I love you the same. That shit was a mistake Dasha. I was dumb, I shouldn't have treated you differently than her. I fucked up." I stared at her. Her soft brown eyes were glistening with tears. "I'm just sorry it happened and you found out about it."

"You didn't think I was yours." She said coldly. "You didn't think I was yours because I lacked the blonde hair and blue eyes. Now I'm like your kid because I'm the same as you attitude wise."

"You're my daughter because I love you. You give me a hard time but I wouldn't have it any other way." I looked at her. "I was young and stupid and I shouldn't have let the fact you didn't look like me like Malia did get to me like it did. I can never change what I did but I swear if I could I would."

"Alright." She said. "I want to date a Son."

"No." I looked at her. "They're no good."

"Can't you let me figure that out on my own and in my own way Herman?" She poked me in my chest.

"I don't want you falling in love and getting your heart broken." I pressed my hands together in a silent prayer.

"Dad, my heart's been broken since I was a child. You broke it. I'm trying to get it pieced back together." She quickly wiped her tears away.

"I want to fix that. We should work on us. Maybe therapy?" I tried.

"I guess. I mean I still want to date a Son and be a part of outlaw life I think." She played with the long sleeves of her shirt.

"I don't want you being swept up into it. Could you love a man who goes off and cheats on you? Could you love a man who loves you less than you love him? Could you deal with him having a kid with another woman?" I looked at her, hoping to God I was getting through to her.

"Yes." She shook her head. "I could. I wouldn't want to stay with that man, but I could love him."

"I want to spare you a second heartbreak. Just please don't go off and fall for a Son." I pulled her in for a hug.

"What if a Son falls for me?" She asked.

"Then he'll be out of luck." I laughed. "I love you Dasha. Don't forget it."

"I won't Herman." She laughed. "I love you too dad. Regardless of your fuck ups. Don't forget that. By the way I heard you fucked Paola!"

"Who told you?" I asked her, I was mortified.

"Paola." She shrugged. "She's not a good sweetbutt."

"Nope." I shook my head and watched her prance off, hoping she wasn't about to get involved with Jax Teller. It was the last thing she needed. It was the last thing I needed.

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><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews, faves, and follows. Always appreciated. Good to know people are enjoying what I'm putting out. (:<strong>


	6. Chapter 6 Burden

Malia POV

I don't think I was supposed to ever know about what I just heard Dasha and our dad talking about. I knew she called him sir for a reason but I didn't know it was because he thought at the beginning she wasn't his daughter. That cut me, it cut me real deep to know our dad once loved her less. I always thought he loved her more because he always treated her differently when we got older. He paid more attention to her. It all made sense now, he was making up for his gigantic fuck up.

"Fuck." I yelped as my baby toe made contact with the foot of my dresser. I hopped up and down while trying to rub it and make sure it wasn't bleeding.

I sat on my bed and pushed on my baby toe and drew in a sharp breath as I waited for the pain to subside. "Sorry toe. I didn't mean to bang you."

I scooted back onto my bed. Propping up against the wall. I pulled out my phone and logged on to Facebook. It had been weeks since I last did. I was over the sorry for your loss posts. They were annoying and never made me feel better about losing my mom and my whole life at once.

"Knock, knock." I heard Dasha say through the gap I had left when I hurried in my room.

"Come in." I said.

"What's up?" She smiled as she sat on my bed. Her shirt was hanging sloppily off her shoulders, exposing her cluster of tattoos on her shoulders.

"Checking FB." I looked back at my phone. "It's brutal."

"More game requests than friends or what?" She laughed. "You good though Malia?"

I looked up. Concern was etched into her features and in the moment she resembled our mom so much I could have sworn it was her sitting with me and not Dasha. "I'm getting along ok."

"Talk to me." She grabbed my hands. "You and mom were best friends. I know this shit is tearing you apart inside. So fuckin' tell me. Or yell or scream or cry a little more."

"I'm okay right now. It comes and goes in waves. Sometimes all I want to do is cry. Other times I'm so angry with her. I just want answers. Like what was going through her mind in those last moments and why a fire?" I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

"She always said shed prefer fire over water." Dasha wiped away my tears. "That was a bad comment for me to make."

"I know, but she took everything from us. Everything we worked hard for. Gone, ashes. Never to get back." I felt myself become angry. "All the pictures, the ones of friends over the years. Your degree. Everything is all gone."

"We can get the material shit back. The pictures, losing them is terrible. My degree, that stupid piece of paper, I'm sure I can get a copy." She shrugged. "Malia, mom was crazy. We should be happy we weren't in the house at the time."

"You were stripping when it happened. I was partying." I laughed. "I'm just angry and sad. I keep telling myself this is a fresh start and I need to take advantage but remembering life back home makes me want to leave."

"You can leave Malia." She kissed my cheek. "You don't have to stay here." She kissed my other cheek. "You're grown. You can go back and get your old job and live with a friend until you get your own spot. Shit I'll start dancing again to support you."

"I can't leave." I cried. "I can't."

"Why not?" She looked at me and wiped my tears away. "Why?"

"I have to look after you and make sure you're ok." I cried. "We have to stick together."

"I'm not sure who put that burden on you. I can look after myself Malia. You don't have to be here physically to watch after me and shit. I can take my own medication and all of that." She moved away from me. "If you want to leave, then leave. Just don't make me the excuse of why you can't. Yeah I'm a bit off but I don't need you creating your life around caring for me."

"You won't be mad if I leave?"

"Nope. Mom's not here, you don't have to stick with me. We're sisters but we aren't twins, we don't have to be fuckin' stuck to each other like glue." She laced her fingers through mine. "Do something for yourself. If you leave you have my support. I'll even give you my emergency stash."

"Really D?" I smiled.

"Yeah really." She smiled back at me. "Do what you feel is right for you. Don't feel bad about leaving me. I can take care of myself. I promise you that much. You're the baby sister. Let me take care of you. You find yourself."

"Then I want to go back." I nodded. "I need to go back."

"Then go back. Leave when dad isn't here." She said. "I have cash in Bawse. It'll be enough to get you home and maybe even a studio apartment in the hood."

"I can't believe I'm going to do this." I scooted off the bed. "I love you Dasha."

"I love you too. No distance will change that. Just be safe and don't fuck with Bryce." She laughed and climbed off my bed. "Meet me in a hour and I'll have the cash for you."

I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Thank you for this D. I appreciate it."

"Anything for you baby sis." She smiled. "I won't tell dad until you're too far for him to catch up and stop you."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"I'm sorry they put the burden of watching me on you. That wasn't fair. I'm capable of taking care of myself. I'm not that far gone." She kissed my forehead. "Like I said a hour and I'll have the cash for you."

"Ok." I smiled. "Thanks again. I'll still remind you to take your medicine."

"I figured that you would." She smirked and left the room. Leaving only her words ringing in my ears.

SOASOASOA

Dasha's POV

I never thought it'd take this long for Malia to realize she needed to live her own separate life away from me. I thought she'd realize it years ago. When she was eighteen and bright eyed and ready to tackle life head first. I'd miss her terribly but I was happy she wanted to do her own thing away from me.

"Come one." I said to Bawse as I wiggled his door panels free. I had made a weird habit of stashing my tips and half my cash in my car doors. It was the safest place for me to hide money. Mom couldn't get to what she didn't know existed.

"What the fuck D?" Malia spoke as she stood just inside of the door.

"Getting the cash." I said as I tossed another bundle into the duffel bag at my feet.

"Holy shit." She said as she bent down to look in the bag. "Where did this come from?"

"Stripping." I replied. "It paid well."

"I know, I see." She laughed. "I can't take this. It's yours."

"Take it." I sat up. "I want to make sure you can afford a place until you get on your feet. I don't want you to be stressed."

"I'll pay you back every penny." She said. "I promise."

"It's a gift. Ten thousand is a small amount but you'll be able to get a place if you budget it right it'll last awhile." I stood up and handed her the bag. "It's your fresh start Malia. Mine is here. Yours is there."

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too. I have to put these panels back. So if you're not going to help me than you better leave fast." I smiled.

"Bye." She smiled.

"Later." I gave her a small wave.

Bittersweet. It was a feeling I never fully understood and grasped until now. I was happy and sad. I was gaining the chance to watch her grow into her own. To fully understand who she is as a person.

"Bawse. I need a ride." I smiled and pulled the door closed. I started him up and let the rumble of the engine consume me as the garage door rose. When I backed out and hit the gas, I was in my element. Me and my car. It was my escape. I drove, I didn't know where I was going exactly I just knew I needed to go somewhere. To find absolute serenity even it was only for a couple of hours until the cold hit.

I somehow managed to find a beach. In this cold ass city, I was sitting on the beach with my pajamas on. The cold nipped at my nose and ears but I didn't care. I loved watching the waves crashing against the shore. This wasn't a typical beach, the ground was rocky more than it was sandy, but it was perfect because it wasn't what I had in mind of how a beach would look on the coast.

I sighed and heard my phone start to go off. I pulled it from my shorts pocket and smiled at the screen.

"Hello." I said as I shivered.

"Where you at?" His voice was low and gravelly.

"Some beach." I replied. "I just ended up here during a drive."

"That happens to me a lot." He said with a slight chuckled.

"What's up though?" I finally asked.

"I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out." He replied.

"Sure, Jax. I'd like a friend right now." I said.

"Well meet me at the clubhouse." He said.

"Alright, um my dad and Happy won't be around right?" I asked.

"I don't think they will be." He sighed. "Meet me at the diner by the clubhouse."

"Alright, I'll text you when I leave." I said before ending the call. I checked my texts and still no reply from Happy. He asked me on another date and I said yes, but now I was waiting on him to reply with a when and where.

#

Jax smiled at me when I walked over to him. I didn't bother going home to change because it wasn't like him and I hanging was a date.

"Hey." He rasped in a way that was different from Happy's. It was a smoker's rasp compared to Happy's sexy natural rasp.

"Hi." I smiled back.

"You look cold." He said as he pulled open the diner's door.

"Freezing. Texas got cold but this here is a whole new level." I laughed as we slid into a booth at the back of the diner.

"Take my jacket." He stood up and pulled off his hoody and handed it to me. I shrugged it on and zipped it up. Feeling a little less cold then before. The heat from his body was still in the fabric.

"Thanks." I smiled at him. "So why did you want to hang out?"

"I wanted to know what you're all about and see if we can't be friends." He licked his lips as the waitress came over. "I'll have a black coffee."

"I'll take a hot chocolate." I looked at her as she looked only at him. I don't even think she heard what I asked for.

"So tell me about you?" He looked at me and nodded.

"Not much to tell honestly." I shrugged. "I'm twenty three, I have a useless college degree, I'm a bit on the awkward side, I'm a geek, I love tattoos but my ultimate thing is writing. I love writing and books."

"I used to write." He said. "Journals to my sons."

"You have kids?" I smiled.

"Yup. Abel and Thomas." He beamed when he said their names.

"Must be hard to balance both lives." I played with the sugar packets in the plastic holder in the center of our table.

"It is. I try my best." He stilled my hands and smiled. "What do you write?"

"I write about my life, where I been, where I'm at and where I hope to end up." I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

"Kozik cool with you hanging out with Sons?"

"Nope." I laughed. "Forbid me and my sister from dating or getting involved with a Son or anyone connected to you guys."

"It's kind of weird. Like he brings you around then tells you not to touch." He laughed. "It's fucked up."

"Well, he said don't date or get involved he didn't say no touching." I shrugged.

"Oh yeah?" He smirked and rubbed my knuckles.

"Yeah." I smiled at him. "Haven't found a Son I wanna touch yet though." I stuck my tongue out at him.

He laughed. "You'll find one eventually. Then you'll be involved, then your dad will flip out because there's nothing he can do about the shitty situation but accept it."

"True." I smiled as the waitress finally came back with our drinks.

"Thanks darlin'." He smiled and winked at her and she gave me a smug look as she walked away.

"She wants you to fuck her." I said.

"I don't want to." He sipped his coffee. "Too old."

"You're married aren't you?" I tapped on his wedding ring.

"Technically I am." He nodded. "We're on a break."

"Ahh. Got it." I sipped my hot chocolate. "I should be leaving soon. Gotta help Malia with her packing."

"Where's she going?" He asked.

"Back to Texas to find herself and live her own life finally." I sighed.

"Your dad know?" He spun is empty mug around on the table.

"Nope. Not telling him til she's gone." I smiled and finished my cocoa. "I should go. Thanks for this. It's nice to make new friends."

"Gotta stick together." He stood up and dropped a bill on the table.

"Here." I moved to take off his hoody.

"Keep it." He said. "I'll be fine. I'm not going far anyways."

"Thanks." I walked out of the open door and towards my car.

"Nice cage." He called out.

"Thanks." I waved and climbed into my car.

#

I was fast asleep when Happy crept through the window and shook me half to death to get me to wake up. With a groggy feeling I sat up and rubbed my eyes to fully wake to see him.

"The fuck is this?" He sounded angry. I put on my glasses and switched on the bigger light.

"A hoody." I said.

"It's a SAMCRO hoody." He pointed to the logo before tossing it at me. I caught it and tossed it to the floor.

"I'm aware." I yawned. "Jax gave it to me."

"You fucking Jax?" He rubbed his head.

"No. I'm not. If I was going to fuck a Son I'd choose you." I smiled. "Him and I went to coffee as friends."

He smirked and yanked back the blankets. "You wore 'em?"

"Yeah I did." I laughed and patted the spot next to me. "You gonna stand there or you gonna join me and sleep for a little bit?"

"Just so you know, I don't like to fuckin' share." He pulled off his boots.

"I don't either." I said as I watched him lock the door before climbing into bed.

"You ever gonna have a normal hair color?" He twisted his fingers in my hair.

"I have normal color at the ends." I laughed. "Would you like me more if I had normal hair?"

"I'd like you the same." He kissed the side of my neck and pulled me close to him. "I just keep picturing you with solid color hair."

"One day." I said. "Like on my future wedding day. I'll have brown hair like I did when I was younger."

"Marriage is overrated." He whispered.

"I'm aware." I yawned. "I saw my parents marriage fall apart."

"And you still wanna get married?" He tapped his fingers on my thighs.

"One day. It's not a deal breaker I mean, of the man I fall in love with doesn't want to get married I'd be fine as long as he's in love with me and can tolerate at least one kid." I sighed.

"Good to know." He said before falling completely silent. I settled in against him further and tried my best to fall asleep. For the life of me I couldn't honestly understand what made him come back. I got the fact that he liked me. I liked him too but we weren't even having sex or anything. We just kissed and talked.


	7. Chapter 7 Babysitter

Sorry for the delay on the new chapter. I was stuck and was working on my other story. Enjoy.

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><p>Malia POV<p>

I was leaving. I was leaving to go back to a city I loved since I was a child. Back to friends, and old memories. I was leaving my sister and my father. I hadn't been away from Dasha longer than two weeks and those weeks we were apart it was because I was in jail.

"Back home for a fresh start." I said to myself. "Being here doesn't feel right." I loaded up the last of my bag, grateful I hadn't gone overboard and bought a lot while I was here. It all packed away perfectly in the trunk of my car. My whole life reduced to such a small space.

"You're leaving." Happy appeared out of the shadows. "You're not telling her?"

"She knows I'm leaving." I avoided his gaze. "I just didn't tell her that it'd be now. You're leaving and not telling her."

"Club business." He smirked. "She understands that I come and go."

"Don't fuck with her emotions Happy." I finally spoke up. "You can't be half in and half out with her."

"I won't." He nodded. "Better leave before she wakes up."

"Bye." I spoke. "Watch after her for me."

He turned back and looked at me. "I will."

I stood and watched him stalk off down the street before I got in my car and started it up. "I can't believe I'm doing this." I looked in the rearview mirror and froze. It was a bike pulling into the driveway, I assumed it was my dad's because he was the only one with the address besides Happy.

I held my breath and watched as the figure approached the door. I then took off before waiting to see if he went in on his own or rang the doorbell.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Oh my fucking god!" I yelled as I scrambled out of bed to the sound of the doorbell ringing. I pounded on Malia's door on my way to the front door as I hopped up and down trying to pull on shorts.

I pulled open the door. "What?" I asked out of breath.

"Is Kozik here?" Jax asked.

"No. No he's not." I huffed. "Apparently I'm home alone."

"Can I come in and wait for him?" He asked.

"Yeah sure whatever." I stepped aside and let him in before slamming the door shut. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Do you usually open doors topless?" He pointed to my chest.

"No." I shook my head. "Usually have a tank top on over this." I gestured to my bra. "Do whatever until he gets home."

"Your sister drive an import?" He looked at me.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"It pulled off when I got here." He shrugged.

"That little bitch. Left without saying goodbye. I'll kill her later." I shook my head walked back into my room and slammed the door.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Jax." I walked into the living room of my daughters' house and found him on the sofa, feet kicked up and a cigarette dangling from his mouth as he watched cartoons.

"Hey, Koz." He stood. "Club business."

"Which is?" I looked at him confused. "Where are my daughters?"

"We need you in Charming for a week or so." He smiled. "Malia left when I got here and Dasha has been holed up in her room. Came out once or twice for snacks but that was it."

"I can do that." I nodded. I missed SAMCRO and the weather Charming had to offer. "Alright."

"Then you leave when we leave." He shook my hand and I watched him leave.

I walked back and pounded on Dasha's door and she pulled it open. "What?"

"Where'd your sister go?" I pushed my way in and looked around. Her room was still oddly clean.

"She went out for feminine things." She plopped down on her bed.

"Ok." I pulled the familiar goody of the floor. "You fucked Jax?!"

"No. He gave it to me when we went for coffee. He invited, me nothing happened. I'm not into him like that so don't start." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and I knew not to press her any further.

"Ok, I'm sorry." I sat on her bed. "I have to tell you something though."

"Are you dying?" She asked.

"No." I laughed. "No. I got asked to help out in Charming for a few days."

"Is Happy going with you?" She asked out of the blue.

"Yes, he probably is. Why?" I looked at her.

"Because he scares me and I really wanna go visit SAMTAC." She shrugged.

"He's not even scary, he just scowls a lot because he's fucking constipated." I laughed and her facial expression softened. "He's staying behind, Lee needs him."

"Alright." She frowned. "I guess I can bum around the house and work. Maybe get into the groove and write."

"You should write." I smiled. "You're amazing at it."

"You have to say that shit because you're my dad." She pouted.

"I don't have to praise you, you little shit. I can be honest with you, if you sucked, I wouldn't have let you go to college for that shit." I crossed my arms. "Now be honest with me, what's up with your sister?"

"She wants to go back to Texas, says being here doesn't feel right to her, so I told her if she felt that way to go back." She sighed. "It wasn't fucking ok for you and mom to put the burden of looking after my mental health on her. She should have been having fun, not worrying if I took my meds or not."

"Yeah, I feel bad about it." I pulled her into a hug. "I just didn't wanna fuckin' sit back and watch you lose your mind like your mom did."

"There was a whole lot of other factors that caused mom to lose her shit." She pushed away from me. "Shit we kept from you but we really shouldn't have done so."

"Like what?" I was feeling suddenly afraid to hear what she had to say. Her brown eyes gave way to hints of apprehension and fear. "Tell me. I won't get mad at you."

"Alright sir." I cringed when she said it but then relaxed.

"Lay it on me." We sat on her bed and faced one another.

"Mom, she got bad. She met this awful dude named Brian. He would swipe her pills and use them to party with. Uppers and downers." She bit her lip. "Then mom would be out when she needed them, and she started taking mine. One or two to start then whole bottles would disappear. Then I would be out and I'd trip because I couldn't get it refilled because the pharmacist would assume I'd popped them all. So I started hiding my pills."

I grimaced. "Keep going."

"She found out she could make easy cash selling her pills, so she started doing that." Her eyes darted across my face before settling on the tattoos ony neck. "She got arrested for selling, the doctors refused to prescribe her the medication anymore. She had been red flagged. She needed the medicine and she wanted the money. So I went to the dr and gave them mom's symptoms. So now I was being prescribed what she had on top of my own, just so she could get her medicine. But she started selling instead of taking them. I stopped filling them. Her money flow stopped. All she had was the money you gave her to take care of me and Malia. She wouldn't handle the bills or anything."

"Why didn't you tell me this? I would have given you the money and not her." I frowned at her.

"Because, you weren't easy to talk to dad. You were just as volatile as her. You had your own addiction you were working through. I had it under control. I got a job. It covered the bills and the groceries." She shook her head. "I was a dancer, dad."

"A stripper?" I stood up. "You resorted to stripping?"

"Yeah. It was easy, quick, money." She stood up as well. "Weekends I was banking over five grand. It allowed me to go to school and not really worry about tuition. It let me buy what I wanted. Let me buy Malia the things she needed for her beauty school classes."

"I'm the dad, I could have stepped up and helped you two out. Why didn't you just let me do that?" I clenched my fists.

"Because you weren't dependable dad. You were unstable too." She threw her arms in the air. "Two addicts would have made shit so much harder to deal with."

"Did your sister dance?" I looked into her eyes.

"No." She shook her head. "It was all me. I did what I had to do to look after my baby sister. Better together and all that shit."

"I'm sorry." I pulled her into another bigger hug. "I had no idea. None at all."

"That's not even the worst of it." She sighed. "Mom used to steal the money, said I owed it to her for causing her so many problems when I was growing up. I used to hide half in the door panels of Bawse."

"Shit." I shook my head. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Yeah, but I rather not talk about it all right now." She wiped a tear from her eye. "Fresh wounds."

"Alright. I'm here for you to talk with D." I kissed her nose. "I love you."

"I love you too dad." She smiled. "Bring me something home from Charming yeah?"

"I will do that." I smiled. "I'll be home before you know it."

"Good. Be safe." She sat on her bed. "You're the last parent standing. Make it count old man."

"I plan to." I smirked. I was going to make things as right as I could. Malia and Dasha deserved that much at least. I could make them proud now.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

Malia had left. I was pissed. My dad was leaving for a week. I was going to be alone in this house. I was going to go stir crazy. I hated being left alone for long periods of time. It didn't sit well with me. I would have to talk to my boss and see if I could take on more shifts. I needed to at least keep busy.

"Alright Bawse." I sighed. "Let's see if you need anything changed. This cold weather is a bitch, ain't it?"

"You make a habit out of talking to your car?"

I looked up and scowled. "Yeah I do. Malia isn't here, she left."

"Oh." His face fell. "I wanted to see her before my charter headed out."

"Yeah, well Juice." I looked him over once, then twice. "Should have called her before and you could have saved yourself the trouble, time, and gas."

"Well aren't you a fucking delight." He leaned against the car.

"Bad fucking day I'm suffering through, sister packed up and left. Dad is heading back with your charter. I'm going to be left alone. I can't be left alone. It consumes me and takes me to a bad fuckin' place. Can't you tell?" I dropped the dirty air filter to the ground and picked up the clean one.

"I'm the same way." He frowned and stared at his hands. "I get exactly what you're feeling. Getting a dog helps it a little bit."

"Does it?" I looked at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. Someone to talk to. The dog will love you regardless of the fucked up shit you tell it. It's nice to have that loyal friend that'll run to you when you get home." He smiled a little as he thought about it.

"What's your dog's name?" I asked him.

"Her name is Silver. She's a pitbull. Got her from the shelter. She was a small ass puppy, now she's a bigger puppy." He laughed.

"Solid name." I nodded. "I want maybe a husky or something that can deal with the snow here. It'd be fun to roll around in the snow with a dog."

"Yeah, husky or malamute could work out real nice out here." He moved closer to me. "What's your deal? Your sister is a lesbian, what are you?"

I laughed. "Did you seriously just ask me that shit. We've known each other such a short amount of time." I clucked my tongue and shook my head. "I'm an equal opportunity lover."

"Oh, oh. That's hot." He laughed and ran a hand over his head.

"Shut up." I pushed him backwards. "You can stay til you have to go, but I suggest you leave before you get in trouble."

"Phst. Me get in trouble?" He shook his head with a smile. "Never that."

Our attention was pulled away at the rumbling of a bike pulling into the drive way.

"It's Happy." I shrugged.

"What's he here for?" He looked at me with a frown.

"Probably looking for Kozik." I sighed. "It's only logical answer."

"Juice, Dasha." Happy rasped as he examined the seem before him. "Your dad sent me. I'm on babysitting duty until he gets back."

"What?" I shook my head. "I don't need a babysitter. I can take care of myself."

"Take it up with Koz." He pushed past us and went into the house.

I went to go after him when Juice grabbed my arm. "Don't." He shook his head. "Not smart to argue with him. Just let him do his job and he'll be out of your hair. He's quiet, keeps to himself."

"Scary." I laughed.

"That too." He chuckled. "I'm going to head out, try not to kill him."

"I'll try." I nodded. "Hey, wait, take my number down."

I put my number in his phone with a smile. "Bye D."

"Bye Juice." I watched him leave before closing the garage door and went inside. To find Happy leaning against the counter, sipping a beer.

"The idiot?" He rasped. "You into him?"

"As a friend." I shrugged. "You jealous?"

"Maybe." He smirked. "Your attention needs to be on me little girl."

"Oh yeah?" I smiled at him. "You'll have my attention for a week. Did he actually send you to babysit?"

"Yeah, said you were fuckin' scared of me so I was the best fit, said you wouldn't try shit." He set his beer on the counter.

"Not scared of you honestly." I chuckled. "Glad you're babysitting me though, better than Lee or one of the others who's names I can't remember."

"Good." He kissed me roughly. His hands squeezing my thighs tightly as his tongue snaked its way into my mouth, tangling with my tongue before withdrawing. He bit my bottom lip and I squeezed his arms. Feeling the hard muscles move underneath the tattooed skin.

"This week is going to be fun." I said through ragged breaths.

"Doors locked?" He nodded at the living room. I shrugged. He pulled away from me and checked the doors before reclaiming his spot between my legs.

"Happy." I choked out as his hands worked their way under my shirt.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice caught in his throat.

"You sure you wanna do what we're about to do?" I stared at him. I could see him working through the situation at hand.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He nodded. "Are you?"

I thought it through for a moment. "Yeah I'm sure."

"Good." He lifted me from the counter and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me back to my room. I smiled against his mouth, it was going to be an amazing night. I take that back it was going to be an amazing week with him.


	8. Chapter 8 Roommate

_**There's some smut in this chapter, just warning you readers.**_

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><p>Dasha POV<p>

"Oh God!" I yelled as I slid through the kitchen. I underestimated my ability to gain speed in my socks. I hit hard against the fridge and slumped to the ground in a fit of giggles.

"What the fuck?" Happy rushed into the kitchen his gun drawn. "I thought someone broke in."

"Nah." I shrugged as I stood up. "I just slid too fast and couldn't stop myself but luckily the fridge was there to absorb the impact."

"Get up little girl." He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and yanked me to a standing position. "Don't do that shit again."

"I won't sir." I frowned up at him and blinked.

"Don't call me that either." He tucked the gun into the waistband of his sweats.

"Sorry." I smiled. "Bad habit."

"Koz made you call him sir?" He scowled down at me as his hands tugged my tiny fuzzy pajama shorts down my legs until they were in the middle of my thighs.

"Yeah. Long ass story though." I turned around as he set his gun down next to my right hand.

"You hate panties or something?" He asked as his hands rubbed my hips before he smacked my ass so hard I took in a sharp breath.

"Yeah." I chuckled as one of his hands cupped my pussy. "I prefer to be naked all the time. It's kinda cold her though."

He let out a low gravelly chuckle. "I'll keep you warm." He turned me around and lifted me onto the counter before yanking my shorts all the way off. "I'll be back." He pushed away from me and headed towards the bedroom.

I frowned to myself and then removed the oversized crew neck sweatshirt over my head and let it fall to the floor just as Happy returned. A frown on his face. "What?"

"Out of rubbers." He squeezed my thighs and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his middle. "You got any?"

"Nope." I looked at him. "Never needed any."

"Why not?" He dropped to the recliner and I adjusted myself so my legs were at his sides as he leaned back and rubbed his rough hands over my lower back and ass.

"I exclusively only fucked girls." I shrugged. "You're the first guy I've been with in a long time."

"How long is a long time? You were fucking tight. I loved it." He kissed my throat.

"Four years." I studied his face. "Not too long but long enough." I shrugged.

"You're young though. You should be out getting fucked every weekend little girl." He wrapped a hand around my neck and squeezed softly as I grinded against him. "Stop." He dropped his hand from my throat and smacked my thigh. "Get off."

I moved backwards and stood. Staring at him. "I have to be at work anyways. Maybe I'll fuck a coworker." I stood and stormed off into my room and locked the door behind me.

I heard the knob shake. "Dasha open the fucking door." He pounded on it. "I will kick this shit down." I pulled on panties and jeans before I unlocked the door.

"What?" I looked at him as I he stared down at me.

"Don't disrespect me little girl." He rasped as he pinned me against the wall. "You're not fucking anyone you work with. Get that through your head. I had you last night. You were screaming my name, you're mine now. I don't share."

I nodded as he spoke. I felt afraid to speak out against him. "Alright." I pushed him away from me. "I have to get to work."

"Don't fucking lie." He slammed his palm against the wall above my head. "You don't got work. You said so last night."

"Sorry." I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He walked backwards towards the bed and patted his lap. I walked slowly to him and straddled his lap as he stared into my eyes.

"I don't like confrontation or being yelled at." I kissed his lips softly. "Lover not a fighter type deal."

"Let's go for a ride." He pushed me off him. "Finished getting ready or whatever little girl."

#

"Koz." Happy started. "Showed me this spot. We used to come here and shoot and he'd talk about another life, he didn't fucking go into details, just that he was separated and had kids to take care of. No idea names or shit like that."

"Wow." I shook my head. "No wonder you weren't shocked that he had kids, you were just shocked I was one of the kids."

"You're not a fucking kid. You're grown." He pulled me into his lap. "Your hair is childish though."

"So I'm told." I laughed. "You have any family? Kids?"

"I have a mom and aunt in Cali." He stared off into the water. "No kids, or wife or shit like that. Not a big fan of kids or serious relationships."

"So what're we?" I looked at him. "Just fuckbuddies?"

"Nah." He shook his head. "More serious than that. You're my lady."

"But?" I frowned at him.

"You're my best friend's daughter. You think he's gonna fucking let us have something serious if he found out?" He shook his head. "Plus I don't think you're ready for this life."

"The life of men who cheat on their women and go home like shit never happened?" I blinked at him and he slowly nodded yes. "So you're gonna cheat on me then?"

He shrugged. "It's just the life little girl. You either embrace it or denounce it."

I stared at the ground and thought about it all. Could I be with a man who was only faithful to me on his own terms? Or was I getting in over my head with thinking him and I could work it all out?

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

So, I hadn't exactly ended up back in Texas, instead I was in California. San Francisco to be exact. I felt happy and guilty all at the same time. I knew California was Dasha's dream, yet here I was, without her. I couldn't tell her just yet. I had to find an apartment and get a job and build a life. She couldn't stay mad at me if I started a new life here. It was gorgeous. I loved it.

"Here you are." The waitress placed the plate of food in front of me with a smile.

"Thanks." I smiled back at her. Our eyes connecting longer than necessary before she walked off. I admired the swing of her hips I'm the odd fitting garment.

I scrolled through my Instagram feed as I ate. Enjoying all the pictures Dasha had posted of herself and the scenery Tacoma had to offer. Snow, lots of snow, then she was on the beach. Smiling while wearing an oversized SAMCRO hoody. Someone had to take that picture. I doubt it was Happy. He didn't seem like the type to indulge in something so fun.

"You need anything else?" The waitress was back. Her lips painted red and she was smiling.

"Your number maybe?" I smiled back at her and gestured to my phone.

"Yeah." She sat down across from me and entered her number. I took it back and texted her. "Cool, now I have yours. You new around here?"

"What gave it away?" I laughed. "The accent or the Texas sweatshirt?"

"Neither. I've been working here for five years and you're the first new face I've seen in here. Most tourists avoid this place in favor for the fancier spots." She let out a nervous chuckle and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Just got out here. Thought I'd get a bite to eat and looking for apartments." I sighed. "I should have planned better."

"That's insane!" She shouted. "I'm looking for a roommate. My old one, she just up and left me to move in with her boyfriend."

"Well I'm really glad I stopped here for lunch and not at a fancy place." I smiled. "How much is my share and when can I move in?"

"$600. Now if you're up for it. I'm off now. Just gotta collect the money for your bill." She smiled.

"Oh, my bad." I laughed as I reached into my pocket and dropped a twenty on the table. "Keep the change."

"I planned to." She stood up and walked to the register after picking up my plate. I sat and smiled to myself as I put my stuff in my bag and stood up to follow her out of the place. "I'm ready."

"Me too." I walked towards my car. "You drive here or what?"

"I walk, and ride the bus everywhere." She shrugged as she followed me. "I use my car for when it's raining."

"Cool." I smiled as I unlocked my car and popped the trunk and tossed my bag into it.

"Nice car." She pulled open her door and fell in. "Like out of Fast and Furious, cool."

"It is." I smiled as I started the car. "Just tell me where to turn and all that jazz."

"I will." She braced herself as I pulled out of the lot.

#

"I love it." I nodded as I stepped into the apartment. "It's bigger than I imagined it would be."

"Yeah. My parents bought it for me. They said it was a graduation gift." She kicked off her shoes. "Make yourself at home, since it's yours too."

"Awesome." I kicked off my boots by the door. "I have the cash if you want it now, I reached into my bag to fetch my wallet.

"Keep it for next month. This month is paid up." She turned on the flat screen and settled on watching Transformers.

"Alright." I sat on the buttercream colored leather sofa next to her. "I really appreciate this. I thought I'd blow all my savings on a hotel until I could find a spot to live."

"Fate works in mysterious ways." She nodded.

"It really does Camryn." I smiled at her and brushed the hair out of her face.

"We're going to have fun living together Malia." She leaned close against me and she smelled like roses and cinnamon.

"I know." I lifted her head and kissed her lips softly. She moved and straddled my legs as she deepened the kiss. Her tongue parting my lips as her fingers tangled into my hair. I gripped her hips and moved them against me. Enjoying the friction of her jeans against the thin spandex material of my leggings. She pulled off me with a smirk. "You're the best kisser."

"So are you." I pulled her face back down and traced her lips with the tip of my tongue. "This is ok right? This hook up?"

"It's perfect." She reached between us and slipped her hand into my leggings. "We can stop if you want."

I shook my head no as her fingers found my sensitive clit. I was wet and ready to see if her mouth was amazing on the set of lips below my waist. "Taste me Cam." I pushed her shoulders and she settled between my legs.

"My pleasure." She smiled up at me as I lifted my hips and helped her rid me of the leggings and panties that blocked her from getting to what she wanted. "So wet." She purred as she ran a finger over my slick folds.

"Mmhm." I got out as she slipped the finger inside of me all the way to the hilt as her tongue ran over my clit in quick swirls. "Oh God." I moaned as she used her free arm to wrap around my leg and pull me against her mouth.

"You taste good." She spoke against me as she added a second finger. I bucked against her and she twisted her fingers inside me faster as my climax neared. Her mouth found the sensitive bundle of nerves and clamped down. She sucked hard and didn't let up until my orgasm came over me in violent waves of pleasure. Her sucking was soft and she withdrew her fingers and licked them clean causing a small orgasm to course through me in the form of a shudder.

"Your turn." I panted as she stood up and looked at me with a satisfied smirk.

"I'm good." She plopped down next to me and kissed me. I tasted myself on her and smiled.

"You sure?" I looked at her and she nodded slowly.

"Positive. I came when you did baby girl. Your O face was fucking sexy." She kissed my cheek.

I blushed. "I should clean myself up." I stood and pulled her up. "You should too."

"I will." She grinned. She pulled me towards the kitchen and grabbed paper towels before turning on the water and wetting a few. "Here." She handed me some and I wiped myself down, still feeling sensitive to touch.

"Thanks." I tossed the towels in the garbage and watched her shed her clothes and wipe herself down. Unlike myself she had the signature landing strip of the Brazilian bikini wax. "Cute." I trailed a finger over the strip of hair and smiled. It oddly enough reminded me of Juice and his stupid mohawk.

"If you're good I'll let you have a taste tonight." She cooed as she tossed her towels away. "Let's watch a movie." She grabbed my hand and led me back to the sofa. She laid down first and I settled against her. I smiled to myself, this new life was going well. Gorgeous woman, a house, and an orgasm all in one day. I just hope my luck kept up.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

I shoved the naked blonde croweater off of me, she hit the floor with a loud thump and immediately woke up. Rubbing her head, she stood and started to cry. She looked at me and I snarled and she hurried to put her clothes on and exit the room I was staying in.

"Shit." I rubbed my head as the hangover hit me hard. I shouldn't have played that drinking game with Juice and Tig last night. They both drank me under the table. If I feeled like this, I could only imagine how fucked up they felt.

I stood and wobbled to the bathroom, turning on the hot water I splashed my face a few times before switching to cold water to wake me up. I stared at my reflection and traced over the name that was tattooed on me. Failed marriage, I had the reminder every where I went. The shit Dasha told me, was still rattling around in my head.

"So shitty." I said out loud as I walked out of the bathroom and tugged my clothes on. Not even bothering to shower. I was just going to get dirty again anyways. I spritzed myself with my cologne and pulled on my boots.

I walked out into the main part of the clubhouse and smirked at the disaster before me. Tig was passed out on the bar, a croweater naked on top of him, Juice was passed out on the pool table, two women naked next to him. The place was trashed and I felt bad for the croweaters and prospects who had to clean this shit up.

"Koz." Jax nodded as he walked over to me. "Thanks for coming down brotha."

"No problem. I'm always down to help SAMCRO, you know that." I smiled at him.

"You should transfer down here." He walked us into the chapel.

"I was thinking about it but I got Dasha up in Tacoma now. I can't bail out on her." I shook my head. "She loves it up there."

"I know." He smirked. "You could talk it over with her, see if she'd be down to relocate down here. The apartment is empty, she could have that."

"I'll talk about it with her. She's always wanted to live in Cali." I tapped my rings against the table. "So I'll do that and then we can go from there depending on her answer."

"Sounds good." He nodded slowly as he rolled the gavel on the table.

"Don't even think about trying to charm your way into my daughter's pants Jackson." We made eye contact. "She's off limits to you. Plus you're married."

"Thought never crossed my mind. I just wanted to be friends with her Kozik." He put up is hands and smiled. "I promised. Plus you should worry more about her charming her way into Juice or Happy's pants. Girls usually go for them if they don't want me."

I shot him a look. "Don't joke like that. I'm going to have a fucking heart attack."

"You'll be fine. She seems like a good kid." He stood. "I gotta get started on some repairs so make yourself at home and try to wake up the two idiots out there."

"I will try." I stood and followed him out.

I walked out and started the wake up process. I tossed each woman to the floor and they woke up groggy and scattered quickly away from me. Then I pushed Tig to the ground and he woke up slowly. Juice was a different story, he was knocked out cold. The shove to the floor didn't even stir him, it seemed he actually was snoring louder than he had been before.

"Come on Juice." I shook him with my booted foot. "Wake up." I frowned as his phone started to chime on the table. I looked at the screen and saw Dasha's name and answered it. "Hello."

"Dad?" Her voice came through the speaker as shock. "Where's Juice?"

"Passed out on the floor, wild night of drinking and fucking croweaters." I chuckled.

"When he wakes up can you tell him to call me back. I wanna talk more to him about the dog therapy." She sounded bored.

"I'll talk to you when I get home." I said and then hung up. I kicked Juice even harder and he woke up finally.

"Oh, hey Koz." He said as he gripped his side. "What's up?"

"Why is Dasha calling you?" I dropped his phone to the ground.

"She gave me her number!" He hopped up and looked at me. "I don't want her in that way. I'm into blondes."

"So Malia then?" I felt myself get angrier as the idiot kept talking.

"No. I'm not going to hook up with either of them. I promise you that." He held up his hands in surrender.

"I believe you. Sorry. Not used to this shit just yet." I frowned.

"It's fine. I get it. You're a protective father. That's admirable." He smirked. "I'd worry about Hap. He likes them young." He laughed and I frowned.

"Yeah he does." I forced a smile. "If Jax asks tell him I went out for a ride."

"Alright." He said behind me as I walked out of the clubhouse. Juice was right Happy did tend to go after the younger women that hung around the place. I felt panic rise inside, I had left him to watch after Dasha. Told him to crash there until I got back. He was in the house with her alone. He could make a move if he wanted to and I was praying that he wouldn't. I hoped this Charming business settled quickly, I needed to get back to Tacoma.


	9. Chapter 9 Glass

Kozik POV

I walked into Dasha's house and found Happy snoring on the sofa. His booted feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Hey." Dasha said as she walked out of her room. "How was Charming?"

"It was good." I hugged her. "How was your week without me or Malia?"

"Boring. I hate Malia for leaving me." She pouted. "I made a friend at work though her name is Diem."

"That's good." I smiled. "How'd you do with Hap?"

"I really hardly noticed him. He's freakishly quiet when he's awake. Loud while sleeping though." She laughed. "He drained the beer supply twice. Complained when I made messes. It was like you never even left."

"I gotta head back to the club, you'll be good here?" I asked. She nodded slowly. "I'll leave him here."

She lifted up a hand in indifference. "Mmk."

"What's wrong Dasha?" I sat on the barstool.

"You've been gone all week, can't you at least spend time with me before you get all busy again?" She glared at me. Her brown eyes becoming almost black with anger.

"Dasha, it's not easy for me." I rubbed my face. "Lee told me to come down right before I walked in here."

"Then you shouldn't have even fucking come back until later!" She pushed the glass vase to the floor. "I'm leaving."

"What's happening?" Happy was now standing up. He was quiet. Too quiet, Dasha was right.

"Nothing." She snapped at him. "It's between me and Kozik." She crossed her arms and stared at me. "I'm leaving, I rather suffer in Texas than stay here with you. You're selfish."

"Dasha." I spoke as she grabbed her keys off the hook by the door. "Calm down baby."

"No." She pulled open the door and stepped out. "Go to your fucking clubhouse, I don't care I'm leaving. I'm done feeling like I'm not a priority in your life dad."

"Let her go." Happy finally spoke up. "Let her cool off, she won't get far without her purse. She has to come back unless she's going to fuck for gas money."

"I don't even know how to handle her." I sighed.

"Little girl just needs her dad." He shrugged. "She tossed a vase at me, I made it through so can you."

"She threw a damn vase at you?" I laughed. "What did you do?"

"I told her she looked like a slut." He frowned. "She was going out but her dress barely covered anything and of course she pitched a fucking fit and threw the vase and hauled off and tried to hit me."

"Out where?" I handed him a beer. Lee was just going to have to wait on me, I had to make sure Dasha came back home to me so we could talk shit out.

"House party." He took a sip. "You know she's fucking talented that one with her writing shit and books."

"I know, she graduated top of her class high school and college. I missed both ceremonies. I've been a shit dad to her." I slid my beer back and forth between my hands.

"I know she told me. We bonded this week. She's the homie." He nodded at me with a smirk.

"You trying to fuck my daughter? You never listen to a woman fucking talk." I felt my hands ball into fists as I looked at him.

"Nah." He shook his head. "She just talks about important shit that is interesting. If I wanted anything with her, I wouldn't ask you, she's grown."

"She's my daughter." I stated defensively. "You're my friend."

"I know." He said smugly. "She's my friend too."

"What are you trying to tell me?" I stood up and shoved him backwards.

"That I want to be her friend." He smiled. "Don't take shit the wrong way."

"I won't." I conceded, I couldn't argue with him over the validity of the statements he was making, he could very well intend only to be her friend.

"Look Koz, she and I talked." He sat back on the stool and looked at me. "About her being crazy, she said crazy, I said I met literal crazy women."

"She's bipolar." I whispered. "Not crazy."

"She called herself crazy." He shrugged. "She said her mom went off the deep end."

"That's the truth." I nodded.

"Her outburst, that was just part of the crazy. You just never been around for them to know when she's having a fuckin' episode." He scowled. "I gotta go, I feel to emotional here." He laughed.

"Thanks, for being around for her this week." I gave him our usually brotherly hug.

He shrugged. "If she doesn't come home, let me know, I'll drag her ass back home for you."

"You know where she went?" I stared at him in confusion.

"Yeah the spot." He smirked. "Showed it to her."

"Alright. Later, if you're going to the clubhouse tell Lee I had important shit to do." I tilted my head at him.

#

Two hours later I heard the rumble of an engine that definitely didn't belong to a bike. I stood and stared out of the bog front window as Dasha backed her car into the driveway, careful to advoid bumping my bike. I sat down and waited for her to come in.

"Hey dad." She smiled as she stopped in front of me. She was fidgeting with her keys and her sleeves.

"Nice hair." I stood and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks." She pushed away from me. "You don't have to apologize, it was my fault."

"Nah." I shook my head. "It's alright. Happy told me some interesting shit about how you told him you were crazy and stuff."

She laughed. "I tossed a vase at him, I owed it to him to let him know why I can go from happy to sad to enraged and violent in seconds." She sat on the sofa and stared at me. "The medicine keeps me in check but sometimes I just fucking get upset."

"That's to be expected." I frowned. "You want to find a doctor to talk to about it, you always said your psychiatrist helped a lot and group meetings."

"I already found one. I have an appointment tomorrow. To let you and Malia know, I'm perfectly capable of doing things myself. If I need help I'll ask for it." She crossed her arms and stared at me.

"Alright, alright, I understand, I'll worry a little less." I lied. "Why'd you do that to your hair though?"

"Because it felt like the right thing to do." She rolled her eyes and I wanted to knock them out of her head. "It's almost a normal color." She smiled.

"I never cared about normal colors, I just always wanted to know why you chose the colors you chose." I laughed. "So blonde and purple?"

"Ash blonde and dusty rose." She laughed. "Because I think they're dope winter colors."

"You'll blend with the snow." I smirked. "Want a beer?"

"No. I try to not drink when I'm swinging moods." She stood. "I'm going to lay down, you can go to the clubhouse now I'm fine."

"Why don't you come with. I heard you and Happy are homies." Her mouth dropped open. "His words not mine."

"I would but I don't want to blow up there or cry." She hung her keys on the hook. "Having a panic attack there was bad enough. I need a nap."

"I'll be home later then. I love you." I gave her a quick hug and a kiss.

"Love you too dad." She kissed my cheek. "Tell Lee I said hi."

"I will." I smiled. "Call if you need anything at all." She slowly nodded before bouncing down the hallway. I would worry about her until I came home.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

I sat on the cracked leather chair in the doctor's office. I had a sick feeling in my stomach that refused to settle. I hated having a new doctor. I hated having to explain how everything started. I just hated having to remember just how I was more of my mom and less of my dad. Which was the lesser evil, addiction or mental illness?

"Dasha." The nurse said cheerfully from the door way. I stood and straightened out my skirt and walked over to her. "Follow me darling."

"Never had a nurse at my old psychiatrist's office back in Texas." I laughed as I stepped on the scale.

"Well, here we believe being physically healthy is just as important as being mentally healthy." She smiled at me. "You're a bit on the thin side for your height."

"I've had a couple of off days where I slept and didn't eat." I shrugged. "Nothing was appealing to me."

"Ah, ok." She said as she jotted down notes in the file she held. "You can just go right on in there, I will ask you a few questions, then Dr. Linden will be in shortly. How does that sound?"

"Sounds good." I shrugged. I answered all her questions, which didn't seem important or relevant.

"Anything you want to add on here before I leave Dasha?" She smiled as she held the file half closed.

"My mom suffered from bipolar disorder as well." I frowned. "Also may have been a bit schizophrenic."

"That's very important, I'll make note of that." She stood. "Dr. Linden will be in soon."

"Thanks." I smiled at her. I settled against the plush chair and sighed. I pulled out my moleskine journal and pen and started to write when the door opened.

"Miss Kozik." The woman said softly. "I'm Dr. Linden, how are you today?"

"Please call me Dasha, or D. I'm blah." I closed my journal and smiled at her as she sat down in the chair across from me.

"Alright Dasha, tell me why you're feeling blah." She smiled at me.

"I moved out here with my sister from Texas, then she decided she was better off going back, so she left me." I sighed. "She was sort of the anchor that kept me from floating off. If that makes sense, so I'm trying to adjust with being on my own and dealing with the empty feelings that sometimes comes with that."

"Continue on Dasha." She urged with a small hand gesture. "How does it truly make you feel to be on your own and do you have anyone here to lean on for support?"

"It's scary, I mean we've been basically attached at the hips for our whole lives. Our parents always told us we were better together than we were apart. Now we're apart and I'm trying to be better. Trying to be better on my own." I sighed. "I have my dad out here, we've had a whole bunch of issues. We're working through some of them but I can tell he's clueless about how to deal with me and my mood changes."

"He wasn't around a lot when you were originally diagnosed?" Her facial expression softened as she wrote in her book.

"No." I shook my head and touched my fingers to my lips as I tried to process where he had been. "He was battling his own demons."

"Mental health issues as well?" She closed her notebook.

"I guess so, addiction." I twiddled my thumbs. "Really bad addiction, but before that he was a Marine. Him and mom always fought, he left. His love of bikes brought him to Tacoma, he's in that motorcycle club. You heard of them right?"

"I'm aware of their presence. How has that life factored into your being?" She opened her notebook up again.

"I never was around it until now. He kept us away. Twenty three years and I just was introduced to this half of his life." I felt my eyes starting to sting from tears. "I don't know how it'll affect me but so far I gained a lot of uncles and family."

"Where is your mom?" She blinked at me.

I felt the tears start to fall. "She killed herself. Torched the house, my sister and I lost everything."

"Wow, I'm truly sorry to hear that Dasha, I really am." She squeezed my hands and offered me a Kleenex.

"Thank you." I took the Kleenex.

#

"Hey." I smiled at Lee when I walked into the SAMTAC clubhouse.

"Where's your sidekick?" He asked with a light laugh and a too tight hug.

"She went back home." I shrugged and looked at him. "Is my dad here?"

"He went on a run, he should be back in a hour or so." He smiled. "Make yourself comfortable."

"I will." I nodded slightly as I took a seat on the only clean cushion of the leather sofa. I pulled my legs on the sofa, careful to avoid the suspicious sticky spots on the cushion next to me and pulled out my notebook and started to people watch and observe their behaviors and create characters around them.

"You need anything sweetie?" A brunette asked me.

"Um, no thanks." I looked at her briefly before turning my attention back to my journal.

"Kozik's daughter?" She lightly touched my knee. "I'm Grace."

"I'm Dasha." I smiled. "Are you my dad's girlfriend or something?"

"No. I just thought I'd come say hello, since I'm new and you're new here as well." She sat down, not even being phased by the spots.

"Well, that's thoughtful." I chuckled. "You trying to bag one of the guys or what?"

"Yeah, I have my eyes on Happy." She laughed. "He's so intense though."

"Yeah, I know." I shook my head. "He's my dad's best friend, I got to spend the week with him."

"Lucky! He won't even give me the time of day." She rested her head on her hands. "Maybe you can put in a good word for me."

"Sure." I shrugged. "Why not."

"Thank you, thank you." She wrapped her arms around me in an awkward hug. "I'll be around if you need anything to drink."

"Good to know." I smiled until she walked away, before staring daggers at her bony back.

"Hey." The voice pulled my attention away from Grace and to a man standing above me.

"Hi." I smiled.

"I'm Ninja." He smiled goofily down at me.

"Ninja?" I bit back a giggle. "You a prospect?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his head and rocked back and forth on his feet. "I came over to see if you'd like company."

"Sure." I swung my feet to the floor. "I'm Dasha."

"I know. Whatcha doin'?" He tapped on my journal.

"Writing." I tapped my pen against the cover. "People watching, trying to develop real people into characters."

"That's cool." He looked around. "Any good ones?"

"Yeah, Lee is my favorite character. He has weird mannerisms." I shrugged. "Grace is cool, pretty, easy to turn into a shallow chatacter."

"Me?" He looked down at his feet.

"I honestly didn't notice you." I sighed.

"Ouch." He covered his chest with his hands. "So mean. That bland?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "You can redeem yourself, if you do some interesting shit next time."

"Waiting on your dad?" He sat back and placed his arms behind his head.

"Yeah." I pulled on the fur on my boots. "Who all went?"

"Mostly everyone, except Happy." He smiled.

"I don't know any of their names." I shook my head. "I'm bad with names usually."

"I like your hair." He rubbed a curl with his fingers. "Very gaga."

"I was aiming for Kelly Osborne." I pulled away. "Can you get me a Voss sparkling water please?"

"A what?" He looked at me.

"A Voss sparkling water." I smiled. "Please."

"Sure." He stood. "Anything else princess?"

"Yeah, adjust your attitude." I stood up and crossed my arms.

"You're the one with an attitude. We went from talking to you asking for a water." He crossed his arms. "You're a princess."

"I said please!" I yelled. "Prospects get stuff right?"

"Yeah we do." He shook his head. "For the guys, not for you. That's what the sweetbutts are for."

"You could have been a gentleman and got me a water." I sat back down.

"I'm cook off that." He shrugged and started to walk away. "Get it yourself."

I stood up and grabbed the back of his kutte by the neckline and yanked it down and off with one strong swift movement.

"Give it back!" He yelled as he lurched forward to grab it.

"No!" I held it close and crossed my arms.

"What's with the yelling?" Lee asked.

"She stole my kutte!" Ninja yelled.

"He wouldn't be a gentleman and get me a water." I smiled. "So I took it."

"Arguing over water?" Lee laughed. "Get her a damn water."

"But." Ninja frowned.

"No." Lee held up his hand. "Get her a water, be a damn gentleman."

"Fine." Ninja muttered as he stormed off towards the bar.

"Here." I handed him the kutte. "Sorry, I just got all worked up for no reason. Won't happen like this again."

He hugged me. "Don't worry about it. Kid needed it."

"Did he?" I looked at Lee.

"Yup, he's too cocky for his own good. Glad you knocked him down a peg." He rubbed my arm. "If he acts up again steal it again."

"I will." I laughed. "Thanks Lee."

"Welcome Dasha." He gave me a half nod before strolling over to Ninja and shoving the kutte against his chest.

I sat and watched. First mini mood swing of the day. I had to find a way to melt the stress away from me completely, can't keep blowing up.

* * *

><p><em>Majestic butterfly thanks for the review on this story! I'm glad you like both of my stories. I appreciate this review, I just picked two names out of a hat and named them that way lol but as for the meaning of their names within the story I don't think there is one. One episode happened out of the story, but she'll have a few episodes that are actually written in the story. <em>


	10. Chapter 10 Kill Her

Malia POV

The past couple days I made it a habit of checking in on Dasha through social media. The pictures she posted always made me smile. She looked happy but her eyes gave way to something going wrong. I felt bad for not telling her where I was, letting her assume I was home safe in Texas would eventually cause a blow up that I would have to face when the time came.

"You OK?" Camryn asked as she stood in the door way of the kitchen.

"Yeah." I nodded as I dropped my phone onto the coffee table. "Just thinking about my sister."

"You should really call and check in on her." She smiled softly. "I know it's not my place but still."

"You're right." I sighed. "I'll call her after my interview."

"Good." She sighed. "I'm going out to meet with friends, you ok to be here alone tonight?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll be fine. I got Netflix and food." I laughed as she smiled down at me. "Have fun."

"You can come with us." She put her hands on her hips and drew in a small breath as she tried balancing on one foot in her too tall heels.

"I'm not much of a bar person." I shrugged. "If you ever hit a club or a house party, then I'm definitely in for sure."

"Suit yourself." She grabbed her keys and bag and wagged her fingers at me as she disappeared out the door.

#

"Hey D, it's me. When you get this message call me back. Love you." I said into the phone as I walked into the pizzeria.

"Hello." The guy behind the counter nodded at me. "Welcome to Mario's."

"Hey." I smiled. "Um, just a medium pepperoni and bacon pizza."

"Alright." He smiled. "Anything else."

I scanned over the menu. "Yeah, garlic bread sticks and ranch please."

"Ok." He smiled as I handed him two crumpled bills I had fished out of my pocket. "Here's your change." I waved it away so he dropped it in the tip jar as I walked to take a seat.

Just as I sat down my phone started to jingle signaling that Dasha wanted to skype with me, so I positioned myself in an all white corner and answered it.

"Hey Mali!" She said cheerfully as she filled my screen. There was cheering and music in the background.

"Where are you D?" I frowned at her.

"SAMTAC." She yelled. "Dad's boxing right now." She turned her phone and I could see him and another man bopping up in down in opposite corners.

"Who's fighting him?" I asked as I adjusted my hair.

"Some Son from the nomad charter." She smiled. "Look what I got though!" She slowly moved her phone down her revealing a leather kutte adorning her body. "Cool huh?"

"Dad's going to flip when he sees you wearing his leather!" I shouted before covering my mouth.

"It's not his!" She said. "Lee gave it to me after I stole Ninja's kutte earlier. Said I could wear it for the night."

"Why'd you steal his?" I frowned at her.

"I was swinging." She sighed. "I gotta go, the fight is starting. Wish dad luck. Love you sis!"

"Love you too." I smiled as I ended the video call. Leave it to Dasha to be living it up in Tacoma. She could have fun anywhere with anyone. I myself couldn't really do that. I was too self conscious unless I had a drink.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

I smiled as I worked the ring. Hearing Dasha cheer me on was something unexpected. I never had anyone other than my brothers cheer for me in the past. Hearing her yell for me to kick the guy's ass put an enriched fire inside me as I quickly and powerfully knocked my opponent out.

"Yeah!" Dasha smacked the ring. "Way to go dad!" She smiled up at me as Happy hoisted my arm into the air in victory.

"Don't encourage him like that." I heard Lee say to Dasha with a smile. "I can't have him running through my guys!"

She laughed and he slinked off to check on the fallen brother. I slipped out of the ring and smiled at her.

"Thanks for cheering." I hugged her. "Meant a lot."

"You were awesome." She smiled. "I wish I could get in there and beat up someone. Pretty sure I can knock out Grace."

"That's a fight the guys would pay to see Dasha." I shook my head. "Hap's up next, you going to cheer for your homie?"

"Only if the sucker getting into the ring with him is good. Otherwise I have to cheer for the underdog." She sighed. "Like my leather?"

I smiled as she tugged on the front of the kutte that no doubt belonged to some drunken Son who had shed it and forgot about it. "Who's is it?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, Lee let me wear it. Said give it back before I leave." She watched carefully as Grace wrapped Happy's hands. "She wants to fuck him, she asked me to put in a good word with him for her."

I laughed. "She's too needy and skinny for him." I shook my head.

"Pretty though." She smiled. "Maybe I can fatten her up. Then knock her around the ring."

"You have better luck getting Lee to toss you in there with Ninja." I chuckled. "Let's go wish the killer good luck."

"Koz, Dasha." Hap nodded at us.

"Came to wish you luck." I socked him in the arm. "Next time it's you versus me bro."

"I'd knock your ass out with one hit." He smirked. "I'd hate to have Dasha witness that fight though."

We both looked at her but she was staring at her phone with a pissed off expression. "I will kill her."

"Kill who?" I asked. "Dasha, look at me."

She handed my her phone and I looked at the screen. It was a picture of Mali. "I'm confused. What's pissing you off bout this D?"

"Look at the location tag, tap it." She tapped the screen. "She's not in Texas. She's in San Francisco." Dasha grabbed the phone and slid it into her back pocket with an audible struggle.

"Good for her." I said with a smile. "Texas is stupid."

She crossed her arms and stared at me. "No." She shook her head and shrugged. "Just, can you not?"

"What?" I said. "I'm confused."

"California was my dream!" She frowned. "Every time I wanted to go she said no. Every time I said I'd go without her she'd pitch a fit. Now she's there and didn't even tell me. That's shitty."

"Tell her that. Not me." I said. "Text her or call her and let her know you are not the bitch to be fucked with."

She cracked a smile. "You're weird."

"But it made you smile." I hugged her. "Root for Happy and it'll make you feel better. Deal with your sister a different day, we're bonding right now. My daughter is an honorary Son for the night."

She smiled. "Happy! Kick that fucker's ass!"

"That's my girl!" I smacked her back.

#

I sat at the bar with Lee and Ninja, drinking and talking.

"How are you gonna keep her from ending up with a Son?" Lee nudged me in the side and nodded to Dasha who was sitting on the sofa writing in her journal like she'd been since we came in from watching Happy conquer in the ring.

"Bring her around this place and she won't want want." I laughed. "My only worries are down in Charming, Jax had his eyes on her."

"Pretty boy." He laughed. "They'd make a cute couple Koz."

"No." I shook my head. "Don't say that shit. She's not getting with a Son. She needs a doctor."

"She needs a Son." He said.

"I don't see it that way." I sighed. "She has oddly taken a liking to Happy. Happy called her is homie, can you believe he listened to her talk?"

"She's going to be calling him daddy." He laughed. "I put my money on her ending up with him."

I shook my head. "I don't want that to happen. He's too intense."

"She's intense." Ninja said. "She stole my fucking kutte."

"How'd you let her do that shit? She's a fucking midget." I laughed.

"She grabbed it and just yanked it off me like she was the goddamn hulk." He shook his head. "Lee saved me."

Lee doubled over with laughter. "I don't think you should be a prospect if you can't even fend her off!" Lee snorted as he hit the ground.

"She caught me off guard." Ninja laughed as he helped Lee up. "She's super strong."

"I taught her all she knows." I smiled. "Don't let her get you in a head lock. May just snap your head clear off."

"I believe that." Ninja said as he sat back down. "She's a killer."

"That she is." I smiled. "Keep that in mind if you ever make her mad."

"I don't plan to." He shook his head. "I'm staying away from that one."

"Good." I nodded. "One down, a few dozen to go."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

I was pissed at Malia. I couldn't deny that, but above that I was disappointed that she felt like she couldn't tell me she didn't end up back in Texas.

"Stop thinking." Happy rasped as he smacked my legs off of the sofa. "Let shit go. She has a right not to tell you shit."

I scowled at him. "She's my sister, she should tell me shit." I tapped my fingers against my bottom lip and wiggled my right foot.

"She should but she didn't." He took a sip of his beer. "Get over it, she'll tell you when she's ready."

"Grace told me to tell you she wants to fuck you." I blurted out.

"Tell that slut, that I don't want to fuck her because Ninja said that a Son said she has herpes and I cherish my dick too much to let her touch it." He shook his head and looked at me. "You're the only one allowed to touch it." He winked.

I felt myself blush. "I'm honored." I opened my journal. "I'll make a note."

"Why you always writing in social settings? You need to be talking to people!" He set his beer down and snatched my journal. "Characterizations?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yup." I nodded.

"You got all this shit just from watching us move around?" He flipped through the pages.

"Yeah. You can learn a lot by just observing a person in their comfort zone." I sighed.

"Hand me a pencil." He held out a hand and I dug through my bag for a pencil.

"Here." I pressed it into his hand and he looked at it before flipping to the back of the journal.

"You write and read, I draw and do outlaw shit." He smirked as he started moving his hand.

"What're you drawing?" I tried to peek but he moved so I couldn't see what he was doing.

"Gotta wait and see." He stood up and walked off. "Don't pitch a fucking fit either, I'll bring this book and the frilly excuse for a pencil back when I'm finished."

"What am I supposed to do? I didn't bring another journal or a book to read Hap." I frowned.

"Fucking talk to people." He waved me off. "Be social, it won't kill you."

"Fine." I sighed.

"Koz doesn't count, Lee or Ninja don't either." He smirked before disappearing down the hall, no doubt heading to hideout in his room.

"Hey." I smiled at Grace. "I thought I'd let you in on some shit."

"Oh God." She waved her hands around in panic.

"I talked to him. He then said one of the girls is saying you have herpes and that no guy should go near you." I shook my head. "So mean."

"Oh my God." She started crying. "I do not!"

"I know you don't." I shrugged. "They're giving you shit because you're the new girl."

"You think?" She asked as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Yeah." I nodded as I pulled off my hoody. "Only explanation. They don't want their normal Sons to get tempted by the shiny new toy."

"Those bitches." She slammed her fist on the bar. "I can play that game too."

"Or you can be the bigger person and ignore their shit." I tapped on the bar top before turning my attention to the ink on my arm.

"No." She shook her head. "I gotta stand up for myself."

"Alright." I smiled. "I mean don't get worked up about it if it's not true."

"It's not." She snapped at me. "It's not, it isn't."

"Okay." I shook my head. "Can I get a water please?"

"Why don't you drink?" She asked as she handed me the water bottle.

"Because it messes up my mental clarity." I sighed. "Water is best for me, and the occasional soda or juice." I shrugged as I twisted the top off and took a lazy sip.

"You on pills or what?" She blinked at me and I slowly nodded yes. "Oh, you're crazy?"

I rolled my eyes. "I guess if you wanna say it like that." I laughed. "Bipolar."

"Tough shit." She frowned at me. Her eyes full of pity. "Sorry."

"Yeah, so am I." I exhaled then took another sip.

"It's cool, I have bad anxiety." She frowned. "If I don't take my pills, I'll be stroking all over the damn place out of panic."

"I had a panic attack first night here." I chewed on my bottom lip. "It was unexpected because usually my anxiety is under control. It hit hard."

"Did the guys help?" She looked at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah." I smiled. "You meet any of the guys from SAMCRO or are you too new to know them?"

"Too new." She frowned. "Those guys attractive?"

"More attractive than this crowd." I laughed. "Two you need to know, Jax and Juice. They're the cutest. Jax is a rugged looking white boy and Juice is Hispanic with head tattoos."

"Happy is the hottest one here. Your dad is handsome but intense." She smirked.

"Hap is more intense." I laughed. "Kozik is intense but he's a freaking clumsy goofball."

"He let's you call him Kozik?" She handed me another bottle of water and I accepted it. "Is Happy's actual name Happy?"

"He does and yeah it is." I laughed. "Happy Lowman."

"What's your dad's first name?" She came from behind the bar and sat next to me.

"Herman." I grinned. "Herman Kozik."

"What!" She yelled, drawing unwanted attention from Lee and my dad. "Seriously?"

"Yup!" I nodded. "Seriously."

"Hot guy, weird name." She snickered and covered her mouth. "I like your tattoos."

"Thanks." I smiled.

"They look like they cost a lot." She said with a sigh. "Mine were $20 garage specials."

I giggled. "No! Say you're lying!"

"Nope." She pursed her lips and shook her head. "Truth!"

"Oh my goodness." I crunched my water bottle. "This hand tattoo alone was $200."

"Holy fuck!" She yelled out, once again drawing the attention towards us. "That's insane."

"You get what you pay for." I smiled. "I'm all about this rose and diamond on my hand."

"Looks super clean." She lifted the bottom of her shirt and revealed a cupcake tattoo. "This is my first $20 special."

"Cute." I nodded. "My sleeve is better though. I want another tattoo. Happy does them for the guys I hear."

"Sick." She nodded. "I'm going to start cleaning so we'll talk later."

"For sure." I smiled as I stood to walk over to my dad and Lee when I felt a hand grab my hand. I turned and found Happy.

"Here." He handed me back the journal and pencil. "Finished it."

"That was fast." I smiled.

"It was like over a fucking hour." He shrugged. "It's not my best but it's not my worst."

I opened the journal to the last page and smiled at the picture. It was a quick sketch of me sitting on the sofa. "It's beautiful." I gave him a quick hug. "Thank you."

"Whatever." He smirked and grabbed a bottle of scotch from behind the bar. "Did you socialize little girl?"

"Yeah with Grace." I smiled. "She said she doesn't have herpes but I'm getting the feeling she may because she got defensive."

"You fucking told her what I said?" He shook his head. "Not smart."

"I told her that the sweetbutts told you that." I shrugged. "I'm going to head home, it's late."

"You can sleep in my room." He rasped. "I'm not going to bed. Too late for that shit."

"What time is it anyways?" I searched the room for a clock.

"After 4 am." He sighed. "Go sleep, I promise the bed and sheets are nice and clean."

"You sure?" I asked. "I can sleep in my dad's room."

"I'm sure. Go to fucking sleep. My room,not his. I'm sure he's going to take a slut when he goes to bed." He took a swig of his scotch. "Night."

"Thanks. Goodnight." I grabbed my bag and headed towards the dorms. His room being noted by Happy faces carved into the door.

I walked into the room and the lights were already on. I looked around quickly taking in the colors and scents. Red and black bedding, it looked comfortable. I dropped my bag and journal on the desk and inhaled. The room smelled like cigarettes, ink, and cologne.

I smiled to myself as I pulled off my shoes and jeans and turned the lights off before crawling into the bed and tugging the covers over me. I settled into the pillows and sighed. They smelled like him too. I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks for the kind words Majestic butterfly, appreciate them. Thank you Team1DUnionJcat for your review as well. <strong>_


	11. Chapter 11 Esai

Dasha POV

I woke up in Happy's arms. I shifted and looked at him, he was awake and he barely nodded at me.

"Morning." I smiled at him. "Thought you weren't going to be in here."

"Changed my mind. Wanted to touch you." He rasped as his hands rubbed my thighs. "You still in your mad mood little girl?"

"Nah." I smiled. "I feel happy and energetic today." I slipped out of his grasp and off the bed.

"Come back." He reached for me and caught my hands. "Wasn't finished touching you yet Dasha."

"We shouldn't do this here." I tried to break his grip.

"Everyone's still sleep. All passed the fuck out." He pulled me on to the bed. "You can be quiet can't you?"

"I don't know." I looked at him. "I don't want to fuck here though."

"Why not?" He moved and positioned himself above me. His legs pinning me against the mattress.

"Because, you've fucked how many women in this bed, in this room?" I moved against him. "If you want me, you have to fuck me in my bed, in my room."

"Nah, little girl. I want you here and now. I want to be inside of you in my room." He bit on my neck. "You gonna object to me taking what I want from you Dasha?"

I shook my head. "Yeah, I think I am going to."

"Why?" He looked at me. "You want me as much as I want you right now Dasha, I can tell."

"Because, I want complete privacy. I like making noise." I smiled at him. "I don't think I can be quiet and I don't want to get us in trouble. Not ready for shit to go south yet."

"Alright." He kissed my lips softly. "I'll tear that ass up tonight then Dasha."

"I'll hold you to that." I smirked at him. "I should get going."

"You don't fucking gotta leave. I will." He stood up. "Just be home tonight, alone preferably. I'll go crazy if I don't have sex."

I rolled my eyes as he slipped out of the room. Smiling to myself I got dressed and ran my fingers through my hair before giving up and braiding it to the left.

"Morning." Lee said as soon as I walked out of the room. "Let's talk kid."

"Um, sure." I looked at him but didn't protest as we walked into his office.

He closed the door. "Sit." He gestured to the chair at his desk.

"What's up?" I plopped down in the seat. "Is this about what I did to Ninja?"

"No." He sat the end of the desk. "This is about you and whatever is going on between you and my Sergeant at Arms."

"My dad?" I sighed.

"No." He shook his head. "Happy. What's going on with you and him?"

"We're friends." I blinked at him. "Swear it."

"You can't lie to me." He glared at me. "I've known that man longer than you've been alive, something changed in him. He's not fucking every sweetbutt or hang around. He used to take one to bed every night."

"Good for him." I blinked. "What do you want me to say?"

"Stay away from him. You're fucking his mind up." He scowled at me. "Don't make me get your father involved."

"What the fuck ever." I stood up knocking the chair backwards. "Are we done here?"

"Yeah." He pulled open the door. "I'm fuckin' serious kid."

"Whatever!" I yelled at him. "I'm leaving, I won't come back here unless I'm forced to fucking come back here! That make you happy Lee?"

He smirked. "Yeah. Actually is does."

"Fuck you." I slammed his door and I he glass window shattered. Drawing attention to me. I rushed and grabbed my stuff out of Happy's room before leaving the clubhouse all together.

#

I sat in the middle of my bed, my sketchbooks and journals opened up around me. My eyes flitted over the pages covered with pictures and words. I flipped my latest journal to the back of the book and smiled at the sketch Happy had done.

"God." I said as I kicked all the books to the floor. My mood has easily swayed to anger as soon as Lee started talking. I don't even know why I stayed, hell I don't even know why I listened, or why his threat for under my skin to piss me off.

I heard the doorbell ring and I rolled my eyes and slipped off the bed. I walked out of my room and grabbed a bottle of water before heading to the door. I looked through the peep hole and frowned as I unlocked and pulled the door open.

"You forgot your key dad?" I asked as he shook off his coat and hung it up on the rack.

"Yeah." He he nodded as he sat down. "You wanna fucking tell me what happened?"

"Lee happened." I shrugged. "I didn't mean to shatter the glass, I was pissed off."

"What did he say to you?" His eyes softened at their corners as he looked down at me.

"He told me that I changed Happy and to stay away from him or he'll get you involved. I told him Happy and I are just friends." I took a sip of my water. "It's not my fault of he doesn't want to fuck sluts anymore."

"Man." He dragged a hand down the front of my face and smiled. "You're unbelievable."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I glared at him.

"I know Happy is into you, I know you're into him. I don't fucking like that shit at all. I don't want you with a Son, let alone the club's killer." He sat down. "We call him the Tacoma Killer, the smiley face tattoos, one for every kill he's made just for the club. Shit, Dasha. I just can't let you be with him, it doesn't sit right with me."

"Relax." I lifted up my hand. "It's not like that. Happy said he's not into girlfriends, wives, anything serious. I'm not holding my breath waiting for shit to happen. I plan to date regular non MC guys dad."

He let out a strained breath. "Alright, I'm going to say this shit again. I'm no good at emotions and talking to you but I'm just trying to protect you from unnecessary shit. I can't let you be your mother Dasha. I can't let you be taken advantage of. Just promise me that if for some reason you end up with Happy, the first time he hurts your feelings you'll leave him and never look back."

"I promise." I hugged him tightly. "Dad, I love you for trying. It means the world to me."

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"All done." I stepped back and admired the color I had done on my first client. "Looks amazing on you."

"I love it!" She gushed as she checked herself out in the mirror. "So luscious." She smiled as she handed me the money. "I will be back."

"Yay." I hugged her. "Tell your friends."

"Oh I will." She waved goodbye before pushing out of the doors.

I sat down in the salon chair I was renting and pulled out my phone. I had half an hour before my next client would be here, so I decided to spend it on my phone. Checking on Dasha via her countless social media outlets. Instagram was my first stop, she had posted pictures of herself at the clubhouse party, and one of her in a bed that wasn't her own. I took it to be Happy's by the garish red and black motif.

"Hey." Camryn stepped into the salon. "I'm early. Sorry."

" 's cool." I smiled and let her take a seat in the chair. "Just checking in on Dasha."

"How's she?" She looked at me in the mirror.

"Good." I smiled at her. "Look." I handed her my phone and she scrolled through her profile.

"Wow." She looked up. "She's a stunner, love the hair color. You do it?"

"I did all of her color except the new one she is rocking. Ash blonde and dusty rose according to her caption." I gave a small chuckle.

"She's gorgeous though." She sighed. "I could use her in my portfolio."

"She does like to pose for pictures and take them." I smiled. "What color are you going for?"

"Hmm, just a trim and maybe a chocolate brown." She turned and handed me my phone back. "I could pull it off right?"

"Hell yeah." I nodded. "Let's get started then."

#

I looked at myself in the mirror as we finished getting ready to go out for the night. I smiled, I looked good. Like Dasha had dressed me in her clothes.

"You sure about this?" Camryn asked.

"Yeah, it's just a date." I put a thin layer of clear gloss over my cherry ChapStick. "With a guy."

"Double dates are fun." She said as she lined her already full lips. "These guys are handsome."

"I believe you. I just always considered myself to be a lesbian." I sighed as I pulled down the dress.

"If you hate it don't do it again." She chuckled. "You like bad boys right? Like if you were straight?"

"Idk." I puckered my lips. "Why?"

"They're from the motorcycle club in Oakland." She batted her eyelashes in the mirror. "The Mayans."

I let out a big breath. "That's so cool." I smiled, I couldn't believe I left one MC behind to end up going on a date with a guy from a different one.

"Yeah." She shrugged. "Invited us to a party."

"Even better. If I get bored I can talk to other people." I smiled as I took one last look in the mirror and posed for a selfie with Camryn.

#

"I'm Esai." My dated smiled at me from his spot next to the line of motorcycles.

"I'm Malia." I smiled at him. Camryn was right he was handsome. "Esai, is a unique name."

"So is Malia." He smiled. "I detect a accent. Texas?"

"God." I blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

He laughed. "Yeah, it's cute though."

"Thanks." I chuckled.

"You wanna grab a drink or somethin'?" He jerked his thumb towards the house.

"Yeah, I do." I let him grab my hand and lead us into the packed house. It reminded me of somewhere Dasha would be on one of her good nights where she liked dancing and being surrounded by like minded strangers.

"A beer good?" He passed me a red cup he just finished filling and I took it.

"Yeah." I took a sip. "It's cold. Usually the kegs are lukewarm by now." I laughed as I pushed my hair behind my ears.

"I know uh." He smiled as he led me towards the empty sofa. "Talk yeah?"

I nodded and sat down close to him. "You grow up here?"

"Yeah! Oakland born n raised. You born n raised in Texas?" He asked.

"Yeah, Houston." I smiled. "It was fun, but I'm lovin' Cali right now. It's chill."

"How old are you? You look hella young, I'm not tryna catch a case or nothin'." He flashed a lopsided smirk.

"I'm legal, I'm twenty one." I said close to his ear as the music got louder. "What about you?"

"Twenty six." He frowned. "Too old for you?"

"No." I smiled. "Not at all."

"Dance?" He stood and offered me his hand and I took it as I finished off my beer. "You can keep up right? This ain't no line dancin' ma."

"Yeah, yeah." I laughed. "I think you'll be tryin' to keep up with me!"

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

I grabbed Dasha by her legs and pulled her off her bed to wake her up. She woke up with a start and kicked me in my gut, causing me to double over.

"The fuck dad?" She glared up at me from the carpet.

"Club is going on lockdown. We got attacked by a rival MC." I said through ragged breaths. "You gotta come with me baby girl."

"Nope." She crossed her arms. "I am nor going back. I hate Lee."

"Please Dasha don't be difficult, I want you to be safe at the clubhouse with me." I helped her up. "You can ignore Lee."

"Dad its three in the morning!" She whimpered as she tugged the blankets back over her.

"Dasha." I sighed. "Do this, please. I'll give you a dollar."

She laughed as she rubbed her eyes. "A dollar? I could use it to buy a pack of skittles."

"That's the spirit." I slapped a dollar into her hand. "Pack a bag and let's go."

"Pack? For how long?" She picked up her backpack

"Two days. It'll probably end before that though." I watched her toss clothes into her bag before she shoved her journal and pencils into her purse.

"Dad." She looked at me. "I don't know how to say this, but I may or may not be extra moody this week."

"You need your meds refilled?" I looked at her.

"No." She scoffed. "I'm on my period. I get really moody, well worse than I normally am."

"Ohhh, oh." I frowned. "Good to know. I guess. You need chocolate, your mom always went through a pound of it."

She laughed. "No. I don't really like chocolate. It's always my last resort."

"Well." I shook my head. "Let me know if you need you know whats and shit. I hate that aisle but I'll walk down it for you."

"Thanks, that's sweet but I got what I need." She smiled. "You still smoke dad?"

I laughed. "Smoke what?"

"I got my answer." She smiled.

"Let's go. Just don't smoke cigarettes and we'll be fine." I rubbed her head.

"I leave that to Malia." She sighed. "Your room will be clean for me to sleep in right?"

"It is. Changed the sheets after I woke up yesterday." I locked up the house.

#

"Dad, it's packed!" She whispered as we walked up to the clubhouse.

"It's supposed to be, everyone brought their families." I laughed. "Lockdowns are basically sleepovers."

"Never had one." She sighed.

"Seriously?" I looked at her with disbelief. "You're a girl though."

She chuckled. "Yeah. Malia did them not me. She always had more friends while I didn't."

"Really?" I frowned. "I thought you had more friends on the account you always talked to people and they always talked to you."

"I was the freak of nature." She pouted as we stepped into my dorm. "It's cleaner than my room."

"Told you!" I smiled. "You're not a freak of nature. You were the bookworm who sometimes played sports and did pageants. Yeah Dasha I remember some of that expensive ass shit you did. Especially guitar lessons."

"Nah! Dad! I lived in Texas all of that was needed! I'm a pretty damn good singer. I don't just write stories I write music too." She sat on the bed. "Lock the door on your way out please."

"I'll hang out before I have to leave. Show you how to clean a gun or put it together or something." I smiled as I took my guns from their holsters.

"I know how to already." She grabbed one. "I'm from Texas."

"Who taught you?" I smirked as she quickly started to clean my glock 14.

"I dated this guy, he was like a thug or whatever. We broke up because he went to jail for life." She shrugged. "Devastating."

I scoffed. "You can do better."

"Can I really?" She blinked at me.

"Yes." I smiled. "You're smart as fuck, gorgeous, you can cook, you can marry a doctor or lawyer or some shit like that. They may object to your hair and tattoos though. So much ink." I lifted up her arm. "I'm afraid to ask how much more you have. Less than Happy right?"

"I guess so." She shrugged. "Its my whole right arm,some on my back, got these two pieces on both my thighs."

"So you're basically the female Hap?" I laughed as she handed me my glock back.

"Ehh. I guess." She smiled. "So who attacked you guys?"

"The Mayans." I frowned. "Attacked SAMCRO then threatened us."

"Oh shit! Is Jax ok?" She looked at me.

"Yeah. Why?" I crossed my arms and looked at her.

"Because he never texted me back." She waved her phone at me. "Are you OK? Do you ever get scared?"

"I am more afraid now than before. If I go and die, you girls will be orphans. I can't have that." I hugged her. "I gotta go meet up with the guys, you can stay in here or go out there. I saw Paola and Grace."

"Great, my two friends are the club play toys." She smirked. "Better than nothing though. Grace is actually cool."

"Then come on." I pulled her from the bed. "Pull up your jeans though. Your Calvin Klein's are showing."

"That's the point." She frowned. "The jeans don't come up any more."

I tugged on them and they didn't budge. "Why? Why buy those?"

"Mali left them." She laughed as she tugged on the hem of her shirt, that was too short.

"How'd you get past me in that shit?" I shook my head as we walked out of the room. "Go play nice. I'll see you later."

"Look, Jax texted me back." She bounced off towards Grace. "Bye!" She yelled back.

"I'm going to go crazy." I said as I walked into chapel.

"Dasha here?" Happy asked as we sat down.

"Yeah she is. She's texting Jax." I let out an exasperated sigh. "Wait til you see what she's wearing. You're going to flip your lid."

"What?" He looked at me.

"She's showing too much skin, I didn't catch it 'til we were out hete ." I frowned. "Don't be mean though."

"Nah." He looked at me. "I'll try not to be."

Lee walked in followed by the remaining brothers. They quickly took their seats.

"We're going to be helping SAMCRO with their Mayans problem. We'll ride out to meet them, they're stopped about two hours away from us." Lee said. "Koz, Hap, you two are going to be doing the bloodiest parts. Got it?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "Got it."

"Looking forward to it." Happy glared at Lee.

"Let's go then." Lee hit the gavel. "We'll talk about our charity talent show tomorrow then. Business now fun later, yeah guys."

We followed him out, not stopping to say goodbyes or give hugs. Dasha nodded at me and Happy glared at her and she smirked as we went to provide protection to our mother charter. It was bound to be a long ass day.


	12. Chapter 12 Lee

Malia POV

"Dasha." I said into the phone. "What're you doing?"

"The club is on lockdown, some MC called the Mayans attacked the Sons. It's crazy." She sounded sleepy.

I swallowed hard. "Damn. So you're at the clubhouse?"

"Yeah, surrounded by idiots." She laughed. "I gotta go! I got someone on the other line. Love you bitch."

"Love you too." I said as the call ended. I threw my phone on the bed and shook my head. Esai and his club had attacked my dad's club. That explained why he just disappeared on me at the party.

"Fuck." I muttered as I realized I was with my dad's enemy. I turned on Pandora and let the music fill my room as I started to clean it up. In a poor attempt to take my mind of everything.

"What's up?" Cam asked as she appeared at my door. "Bummed about your date bailing?"

"Oh no." I shook my head. "Worried about Dasha, she's being distant, never wants to talk anymore. She's always too busy for me."

"She has a life now maybe a boyfriend?" She smiled. "Don't trip off it, just ask her about it."

"I plan to." I stared at the jar of Manic Panic hair dye in my hands. "Maybe visit her, see if she wants to go snowboarding or some shit."

"And take your new bff with you?" She clasped her hands together and stared at me.

"Sure. We can get a cabin and make a weekend of it." I smiled. "I'll look into it. It would be fun."

"I'll pay for the cabin. Just pick the dates out Malia." She smiled. "Snow bunny weekend!"

She left before I could protest. I'd have to actually set up a weekend and get Dasha to agree to it.

#

"Hey gorgeous." His voice was smooth as he slid into the booth across from me. "Thanks for meetin' me here."

"No problem." I smiled.

"Sorry for last night n everythin'. Got caught up n shit. Had to do club business. I shoulda told you before I left though." He smiled. "You forgive me?"

"Yeah, it's cool. I understand you gotta handle shit." I toyed with the sugar packets in the dish in the middle of the table. "Water under the bridge."

"Coo' you hungry. I can buy you lunch." He studied my face. His light hazel eyes staring into my blue ones.

"I could go for a sandwich and fries." I smiled.

"And fries?" He smiled. "Finally a girl around here who actually eats more than a fuckin' salad."

"Closest I'm getting to a salad is the lettuce, tomatoes, and onions they put on my burgers." I laughed.

"Is that right?" He held up his hand to get the attention of the waitress. "Good to know."

"Mmhm." I nodded. "Meat over salads every day."

He nodded. "I will take you to a steakhouse this Friday if you're down for it…"

"I'm all for it." I smiled. "Just no disappearing on me this time, unless you tell me first. The guys are the party are skeezy when they see a female alone."

"Ah, who gave you problems?" He asked after he ordered for us.

"Um, I think his name was Gomes or somethin' of the sort." I tapped on the table as my phone started beeping. I frowned at the screen. It was Dasha.

"You gonna answer that?" He pointed at the phone.

"No." I shook my head. "Don't feel like talking to my sister right now."

He grabbed the phone. " 'ey." He answered it. "Nah, she can't come to the phone she's busy…yeah I'll let 'er know you called…lates."

I laughed. "Thanks."

"She said to call 'er back when you get a chance. It ain't important or nothin' though." He slid my phone back. "She your older or younger sister?"

"Older." I sighed. "Older dramatic sister, she's crazy but I love her."

"I got a baby sister. Like a actual baby sister." He grimaced. "It's gonna be annoying in a few years."

"Why? Afraid she's gonna call you daddy or somethin'?" I laughed.

"Yeah actually I am." He laughed. "People will think her dad is her grandpa. He already looked elderly. He's one of the throwback vatos."

"The ones with the beards and mustaches and slicked back hair?" I looked at him and he slowly nodded. "I know a few of those back home, they drive around in sick ass low riders and mini trucks."

"Yeah, he rides bikes though. Mayans president." He beamed with a huge smile as the waitress set our food down in front of us. "Thanks." He half nodded to the waitress and she blushed.

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the ketchup and shook it before squirting it all over my fries. "That's what's up. You and him together and stuff."

"Are you like full out a white girl?" He turned his head and looked at me.

I laughed. "My mom was Portuguese." I shrugged. "Why?"

"Ionno you just didn't look full out white to me." He shrugged and ate one of my fries. "It's a good thing though ma."

"Thanks." I smiled as I ate a fry. "You just full out Mexican?"

"Haha yeah I am." He squirted ketchup on his burger. "What gave it away? The eyes or the hair?"

"The hair. Most definitely." I grinned. "The eyes, their gorgeous though. Lady killers."

"Yours are gorgeous too. All piercing blue and whatnot." He took a sip of his soda.

"Thank you. They're my best feature." I put a straw in my soda.

"Your ass is nice too." He blushed. "Not that I was checkin' it out."

"Just happened to gaze upon it's greatness?" I laughed.

"That dress you were wearin' almost killed me." He placed a hand over his chest.

"First time wearing one like that." I laughed. "Hadda keep pulling it down last night."

"I noticed, all good though." He looked at his phone. "I gotta go, club shit is going down. I'll call you later. Aiight?"

"Alright." I smiled and stood up to hug him. "Be safe or whatever."

He rolled his eyes. "You be safe or whatever." He dropped a few crumpled bills on the table. "Later gorgeous."

"Later handsome." I sat back down and watched him get on his bike and ride off. This date was way better than last night's. I smiled to myself, who would have thought I would have liked a guy.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Omg!" I ran into the main part of the clubhouse and found my dad. "Dad!"

"What's wrong?" He stood up from his seat. "What happened?"

"Malia has a boyfriend!" I yelled and bounced up and down. "A hot sounding one too. Oo lala."

"She's a lesbian." He blinked down at me. "It could have been a manly sounding woman."

"Nah! It was a thug." I laughed. "He sounded like a vato. Like 'ey, what's good?"

"You talked to him?" He shook his head and forced a serious face.

"He answered her phone!" I smacked his chest. "Dad! She has a boyfriend already and I'm like blah, give me tattoos and hair colors! While she's finally dating a guy and I'm not even there to be like I told you so! This shit really grinds my gears."

"Why are you so passionate about this? Leave her alone, unless it gets serious then you tell me and I'll go fucking lay the law down with that kid." He crossed his arms. "Do I gotta get a new gun?"

"No." I frowned. "You just ignored the fact I said he was a thug?"

"Yeah, because you're speculating." He said. "Be optimistic about it."

"Dad, I'm bipolar, my only outlook on life is a pessimistic one at best. I tend to expect the worst from people, like all the time." I sighed.

"Change that thought process." He frowned. "Or at least try to. You being bi polar shouldn't distort your ability to see how shit is in life."

"Look." I said. "I write, I observe people, I see human nature in minute movements of the body. See how Ninja is slumped over in the corner, he's sad, he needs someone to talk to, but he realized he can't talk to any of you or he'd be clowned for being sensitive."

"Stop, don't do that. I feel bad." He shrugged. "You go talk to him, make him less slumped over."

"No." I said. "Lee's daughter called dibs on him. Said for me not to talk to him or anything because they're a thing."

"Oh yeah?" He rubbed his face. "She said they're a thing? This morning that kid was balls deep in your little friend Paola."

"Omg!" I gasped. "I knew it!"

"She's what you don't wanna be, don't be blind or turn your head because of club life. If a guy wants to be faithful he'll be faithful regardless of the fucking rules around here." He shook his head. "Try not to find a guy like me in the aspect of relations, every other aspect I'm fucking amazing." He smirked.

"Where are the SAMCRO guys?" I scanned the room.

"In chapel, business. Why? You trying to mack on Jax?" He frowned at me.

"No dad. I wanna talk to Juice about the dog thing, see if he'll help me pick the right one and shit." I shrugged. "He has mental issues too."

"I figured as much." He sighed. "Kid's fucked up these days."

"He just needs a solid friendship. I wanna be his friend." I smiled. "You think I gotta wait until after this lockdown to go out?"

"That's how it works. Plan the talent show with the women or something." He rubbed my head. "Be social."

"I am. I'm talking to you!" I smiled.

"Doesn't count." He kissed my forehead. "Be good."

"No promises." I sighed as he walked off.

#

I was sitting in the corner with my journal and music when Lee's wife Jackie approached me. A smile plastered on her face. She was at once pretty but time and sun had taken a horrible toll on her. Her skin looked almost leathery in this light.

"Hi." I smiled at her.

"Your dad told me you can play the guitar and sing." She blinked at me. "Care to sign up to perform in our charity talent show?"

"Sure." I nodded. "I don't have a guitar but I can knock out a song without it."

"Good." She handed me the clipboard and I lazily signed it. "My daughter has won nine years in a row. Amazing country singer, she's trying to get signed. We have talent scouts coming."

"Whoa! That's insane! Good for her." I smiled. "I'm more of an R&B singer these days, dabble with a little rock, but I leave the country to talented girls. I cannot wait to hear Michelle sing. I hope she doesn't make me look too bad."

"I make no promises." She hiked up her chin, ignoring my sarcasm all together if she even detected it. "Practice is on Friday."

"Thanks. I look forward to it." I smiled. "Please don't make me go after Michelle, I would like to be in the middle."

"I'll see what I can do." She turned on one heel and walked off.

"Hey." Happy nodded at me. "Let's talk yeah?"

"I cannot. Lee told me specifically to stay away from you because he doesn't want you getting soft." I turned my attention back to my writing.

"Cut that shit out." He closed the journal. "He's not here, let's go talk outside at least or in the garage."

I stood and followed him outside and into the garage. "What's up?" I asked him as he made sure we were alone.

"Wanted to fuckin' talk." He leaned against the chest of tools.

"About?" I looked at him.

"You." He smirked. "Dad told me you been texting Jax. Also I gotta get on you about dressing like a slut again."

"He texted me first! I wasn't dressed like a slut." I crossed my arms.

"If you're showing more skin then covering it, you're dressed like a slut." He looked down at me. "You were showing a whole lot of skin when I left."

"I was only showing my stomach." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm pretty sure we saw your womb." He laughed. "Why'd Lee get on you though Dasha?"

"Idk." I sighed. "He pulled me into his office that morning you left. Got all mad, said I was changing you because you weren't fucking every sweetbutt."

"So you shattered his door for me?" He winked.

"No." I laughed. "It was an accident!"

"Ninja said you threw a chair through the door." He rubbed his thumb over my belly button ring.

"He's a dumb prospect. I slammed it." I shrugged. "He shouldn't used cheap glass."

"You gonna listen to him?" He stepped away from me.

"Probably not." I laughed. "He's nothing to me. My dad told me to keep away from you if we end up together and you cheat."

"We're together." He said. "I told you, you're my lady."

"You know what I mean." I looked at my work boots and frowned. They were dirty from the snow.

"Yeah." He nodded as his hands tangled in my hair and he placed an aggressive kiss on my lips. He pulled away quickly. "Who I'm with is my business, if you can't deal with us not being all lovey in front of people then you can leave."

"It's not that, I don't mind us keeping shit to ourselves. I just don't want to be fucked over." I sighed. "Like I just expect you to be faithful."

"I can try." He looked down at me. "I'll try my best."

"Alright." I smiled. "I gotta go."

"Where?" He asked me as he started fiddling with the tools in the chest.

"Clubhouse, I need Juice to help me with finding the perfect dog." I smiled.

"You're grown you can pick your own fucking dog." He scoffed.

"I like having help." I shot a look at him. "That a fuckin' problem with you?"

"Nah." He smiled. "I like when you attempt to be mean to me."

"I'm standing up for myself." I smiled. "Get used to it."

"Little girl, I will knock your ass down a few pegs." He handed me the hammer to hang on the hook. "You make this mess in here? Looks like you did."

I laughed. "No. I'm not this messy."

"Yeah you fucking are Dasha." He rearranged the tools in the top drawer. "I've seen your room."

"Wait til you see it now. Tornado blew through it." I chuckled.

"I thought women cleaned and organized?" He looked at me as the door to the garage opened and Lee stepped in.

"I can't have this shit." Lee said. "Not letting a kid, cloud the judgment of my best enforcer."

"Leave her alone." Happy glared at him. "I brought her in here to tell her to stay away."

"Smart man." Lee smirked. "Get outta here Dasha."

"Fine." I stormed past both of them and slammed the door and got in my car and took off.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"You seen Dasha?" I asked Ninja.

"Yeah, she went outside with Happy, to the garage." He smirked at me.

"Thanks." I patted him on the back before bracing myself against cold to get to the garage. I looked around and frowned when I realized Bawse was gone, meaning Dasha left with it

Which wasn't good at all.

"Hey." Lee nodded as he walked out of the garage. "You know your daughter is sneaking around with Happy?"

Happy came stalking out of the garage. "Shut the fuck up Lee." He hissed. "It's not even like that. You're paranoid. I got my job done last night, didn't I?" He crossed his arms.

"First off, if you have a problem with my daughter you need to bring it to my fucking attention and not be rude to her about it." I glared down at him. "She left, in this shit. She's gone. You see her car any fucking where? Nope, no mustang sitting in this lot."

"She left?" Lee looked at me. "You didn't bring her here on your bike?"

"No, it was too cold for her and I don't have the bitch seat on my bike anymore." I shook my head. "She's sensitive, you can't be mean to her."

He rolled his eyes. "She'll get over it. We can't baby her ass. We're an MC not a day care."

"She's bipolar Lee. You can't just get upset with her. Her brain is wired differently then ours." Happy said.

"It's actually a chemical thing but still. You met their mom way back before the kids and shit. Dasha is just like that." I sighed and rubbed my temples.

"That's her mom?" He rubbed his face. "That girl was more trouble then she was worth and you had two kids with her?"

"And married her." I shook my head. "Broke shit off when Dasha was 6."

"Jesus." He said. "Maybe she went home?"

"Doubt it, that'd be the first fuckin' place she knows we'd check." I shook my head. "I gotta get a hold of her."

"She's back." Happy turned me around and the black mustang roared into the lot and parked.

"Dasha!" I pulled her I to a hug. "Where the fuck did you go?"

"For a drive dad, calm down." She shook her head. "I didn't die."

"But you didn't tell any of us you were leaving." I glowered at her. "What if you would have crashed?"

"I have that LoJack shit, I'm sure you would have found my cold lifeless bottom in a ditch in less than twenty four hours." She crossed her arms. "Can I grab my shit and leave this fucking hell hole. I'm in pain and I ran out of pain killers. I just wanna be in my bed with my blankets and my thoughts."

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll take you home. Wait in your car and I'll drive you home alright?"

"Dad." She rolled her eyes. "I can drive myself."

"I know you can but that's not the fuckin' point. Just go wait in the damn car." I turned her around and patted her back. "Don't fight it. I'll buy you a big ass bottle of pain killers."

"I was going to go in and buy some off of Juice." She smiled. "Seems like the only quick fix."

"No!" I yelled. "He tell you about the diaper incident?"

"No." She shook her head.

"He takes random pills and ends up in diapers. Go to your car now." I pointed.

#

"D, you good?" I asked as I walked into the living room and found her on the floor in a nest of blankets and pillows.

"Yeah." She sighed. "The cramps are gone so I'm good."

"Why'd you leave earlier?" I sat down in her nest with her.

"To avoid throwing a ratchet wrench thingy at Lee's fucking mug." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why is he on my ass about Happy?"

"Because guys like Happy are killers." I sighed. "He can't be bringing any emotions into his work besides anger, rage, all those types of emotion are good. When he starts feeling love and shit like that he gets a conscience."

"Alright." She shrugged. "It's not my fault if he gets one though. All I did was spill my guts to him about how I'm crazy dad." She smiled.

"Well, maybe he has a thing for crazy women?" I looked at her. "Just don't get all involved. I'm not ready to lose you to this life yet Dasha. I can't lose you to this life. I kept you free of it for over two decades and I plan to keep you away for a little bit longer if I can."

"Dad, I've been looking out for myself for awhile now. Whether you know it or not, I'm more than capable of making the right decision when it comes to relationships." She smiled. "I do appreciate where your heart is at. I won't stand in the way of you being protective of me though."

"Have you even had a serious boyfriend Dasha?" I looked at her.

"Yeah." She sighed. "He was terrible, like ugh. You would have hit him. He wasn't physically abusive, but still he was terrible. Had to let him go. Never been in a relationship since."

"Since when?" I pressed her for more information.

"It's been like five years since I've been with a guy at all." She laughed. "Malia isn't the only one who dabbles with girls dad."

"I can deal with you and her dating women. I can't stomach guys, guys can get you caught up and pregnant. Girls can get you caught up." I laughed. "I gotta head our for a little. Don't let anyone in unless it's a Son. Alright?"

"Yeah." She pulled her blanket over her head. "Got it."

"Love you Dasha." I kissed her blanket covered head.

"Love you too Herman." She waved. "Be safe."

"For you I will be." I said.


	13. Chapter 13 Seahawks

**Dasha POV**

I walked the length of the aisle in the music store. My dad on my heels as we looked for a guitar for me to play during the upcoming charity talent show. I was leaning for electric but my heart was pulling me towards acoustic.

"This one is cute." He pointed at a sparkly red acoustic guitar hanging on the wall.

I shook my head. "What about me says red and sparkly?"

He frowned and pointed to a sleek matte black guitar. "This is you." He pulled it off of its hook and handed it to me.

"I love it." I strummed the strings. "Out of tune, but I want it. I can make it work. Plus it's in your price range."

"Get your picks, strap, and case to match it then." He pointed at the shelf in front of me. "I can't wait to see you play again. Haven't seen it in a long ass time."

"I haven't played in years. Dancing took up all my time plus mom hocked my guitars at pawn shops." I sighed. "I think I'll love this one forever though."

"You better." He said as he grabbed a handful of loose picks and slammed them on the counter as he paid for the items. "If you lose to Lee's daughter I'll have to disown you."

"I'll win." I smiled. "Going straight country. Show these bitches how we do it in Texas."

"You dont look like a country singer." The cashier smiled at me.

"Don't judge a girl by her hair or ink." I winked at him. "I can sing."

"When's this show?" He looked at me then at my dad.

"Good question." I popped my dad in the gut. "When's the show?"

"Saturday, at the Tacoma Community and Performing Arts Center." He nodded.

"I'll be there." The cashier smiled as he tossed in a few extra items. "See you later."

"Bye." I waved as my dad ushered me out of the store.

"He was rude. Flirting with you while I was standing right fuckin' next to you!" He pulled open the door of his truck and helped me and my stuff in.

"At least he's not a Son." I said. "Look at positives not negatives Herm."

"Don't call me that Dash." He fired back as he pulled out of the lot

"That doesn't even sound like my name. Dash and Dash aren't similar. Dawshuh, not Dasha." I laughed.

"Or like your kindergarten teacher called you Daysha." He chuckled. "You cried on the spot."

"People still pronounce it like that!" I pulled out my phone. "I got a offered a job to do a inked magazine shoot. A photographer in Seattle reached out to me."

"You going to do it?" He asked.

"Maybe." I smiled. "After I get a few more pieces and change my hair color again."

"You've changed it three times since you've been here." He frowned. "What more ink do you need?"

"I need to finish the Kozik piece on my back and I want to add color into the roses on the top of my shoulder." I scrolled through my Instagram feed. "Malia and that guy are official."

"What?" He stared at me as he came to a red light.

"Yeah." I shook my head. "He rides a motorcycle. See." I showed him the picture and he frowned.

"Oh lord." He said. "You good with her now? With her being in Cali and you being here?"

"Yeah, we haven't talked about it but I'm good with it. I love it here. I feel like I can be myself because no one here knows me so I don't have the label of the crazy one." I smiled. "Plus, I feel like the only child and I'm getting all the attention, love, and money you have to offer."

"You are. I still check on her though." He smiled. "You hungry?"

"Yeah but I rather eat at home so I can play around with some songs and see what one to knock them out with." I yawned. "What does the devil's offspring usually sing?"

"Taylor Swift." He laughed. "I know all her songs because the girls out here sing them every talent show. The worst part is we can never leave because it's a club obligation to see the show through to the end."

"Ouch." I winced. "I'm going go do an acoustic cover of a pop song or some shit. If it's all country then I'll have to do my best Carrie Underwood."

"Just win." He rubbed my shoulder. "Make me a proud poppa."

"I will dad." I smiled.

"You talk to Hap?" He asked me as we pulled into the driveway.

"Not today." I shook my head. "Talked to Juice though."

"About?" He helped me pull the bags and guitar out of the backseat.

"The normal shit. Mostly his issues and my issues." I shrugged as I unlocked the doors. "We're having a sleepover tomorrow night, he's going to help me pick a song."

"You serious?" He asked as he set all the bags of groceries on the counter and the stuff from the guitar store on the floor. "Here?"

"Yeah, where else would I do it?" I chuckled as I started to put things away.

"The clubhouse." He said. "I won't be here tomorrow to keep an eye on you two. Gotta be at the club."

"I'm grown. I can have a sleepover alone." I sighed.

"I'm worried about Juice making a move and it getting back to Happy." He frowned down at me.

"Omg." I breathed as I put the eggs and orange juice away. "Dad chill the fuck out. It'll all be fine."

"Nah, it won't be." He rubbed his temples. "You got this? I gotta hit the clubhouse for a little bit." He waved his phone at me.

"Whatever." I shrugged. "I'll probably be gone when you come back. I got plans tonight."

"To do what?" He looked at me with one eye.

"Party with Grace and Paola." I smiled. "Parties exist outside of the club world."

"Be safe." He kissed my forehead.

"You be safe." I smiled as I watched him leave then turned back to the task at hand. Putting the groceries away and fixing lunch.

#

"You sure about this?" I asked as I watched Grace and Paola wiggle into tiny bikinis. "Stripping is not all fun and games."

"We're sure." Grace smiled. "If you can do it we can too."

"Alright." I shrugged. "I'll be in the audience."

"Up front?" Paola asked.

"I'll try but it's pretty packed, so I don't know." I smiled as I walked out of the dressing room. I weaved my way through the crowd and spotted a seat close to the stage. "This spot taken?" I tapped the guy on the shoulder.

"No." He shook his head. "Its not."

"Thanks." I sat down and crossed my legs, pulling down the too short shorts I decided to wear in the dead cold of Tacoma.

"You come here often?" The guy asked with a laugh. "That sounded corny."

"It did." I laughed. "No, I'm here for support. My friends are auditioning to be regulars."

"That's cool. Why aren't you auditioning?" He stared at me.

"Promised a few people I'd stay off the pole." I frowned.

"No fun." He shook his head. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Only if it's a water. I don't drink." I smiled.

"I can make that happen." He held up a hand and a waitress sauntered over. "A Voss for her and a Jack on the rocks for me."

"Right away." She said as she walked off.

"I'm Ryan." He reached out a hand.

"I'm Dasha." I shook his hand, his grip was strong and rough.

"Gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl." He smirked. "You work?"

"Thanks, yeah at a book store in town. How about you?" I watched as the lights on the stage changed from blue to pink to purple.

"Football player." He smiled. "Seahawks, you a football fan."

"Houston Texans." I frowned. "I'm a Texas girl."

"Ouch." He laughed. "Here, take my number. We should hang out in a normal place."

"Most definitely." I took the card and slipped it into my bra. "What position do you play? You look tall."

"Quarterback." He smiled. "Seriously you've never heard of me?"

"Nope. Is that bad?" I chewed nervously on my bottom lip.

"No. It's really good." He nodded as the waitress handed us our drinks. "Enjoy that water. I'll catch you around. My boys just got here."

"Thanks." I smiled as I watched him walk over to his friends. He was handsome but the only guy I wanted to hang out with was Happy.

**SOASOASOA**

**Kozik POV **

"Can't go in." Ninja held up a hand and stopped us all from going into the clubhouse.

"Why the fuck not?" I asked. I was sore, tired, and needed a few drinks and the company of a sweetbutt.

"Juice's orders." He smiled. "Kicked all of us out."

"And you listened to him?" Lee asked. "He's not even Tacoma! He's Redwood you idiot."

"Still, he wears a full patch so I listened to him." Ninja said. "He wanted space for him and Dasha."

"What?" I asked. "You left them alone in the clubhouse?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "He said they needed privacy."

"Oh man." I said as we all rushed forward and pulled the doors open. The clubhouse was eerily empty and quiet. Dasha and Juice were nowhere to be found. "Check the dorms." I nodded to Happy.

"All empty." Happy rasped as he walked back towards me rubbing his head and shrugging.

"You sure they're here?" I asked Ninja. "You sure they didn't leave?"

"Juice's bike is still outside." He shrugged. "Dasha had parked her car in the garage so…"

Happy rushed to the garage first and pulled the door open. I followed in. We found Juice and Dasha standing over the engine of her car talking.

"Hey." Dasha smiled. "Why do you guys look scared?"

"Not scared." I said.

"They thought you and Juice were fucking." Ninja laughed.

Juice and Dasha exchanged a funny look and started laughing. "No offense but I wouldn't fuck your daughter here or whatever." Juice smiled a stupid goofy smile.

"I don't know what's worse, that you guys jumped to that conclusion or that you think I'm that type of girl." Dasha frowned. "He's helping me learn about Bawse."

"Then why empty out the clubhouse?" I asked.

"I wanted to be in the garage and I didn't want to leave sweetbutts and a prospect unattended in the clubhouse with everyone's shit." Juice shrugged. "I thought I was being fucking responsible guys."

"I could teach you about cars." I frowned at Dasha.

"I know daddy." She smiled and walked to me. Wiping her hands on the work shirt she had on. "You aren't ever home though."

That hurt. "Good point." I hugged her. "You going to be here long?"

"No." She smiled. "Sleepover!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah huh." I frowned.

"We're excited, huh Juicy?" She smiled over at him. I took notice of how she completely ignored the fact Happy was standing right next to us. His glare never leaving her.

"Yeah." He smiled. "Star Wars and pizza all night."

"Right on." Ninja said. "Can I come to?"

"No." Dasha rolled her eyes. "Lee's kid said you were her boyfriend and I had to keep a distance because she doesn't want you to catch my skanky."

"Not even her boyfriend." He crossed his arms and left the garage.

"So you two are having a sleepover?" Happy finally asked.

"Yeah." She said with a hint of a smirk. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm taking Juice and Koz here out tonight. So sorry little girl no sleepover."

"What?" She frowned.

"Brothers trump females." He rasped at her. "Better luck next time."

"Juice?" She looked back at him.

"Sorry D." He shrugged. "If he is inviting me I have to go."

"Fine." She said. "Go be a brotherhood or whatever. I'm leaving."

"You don't gotta leave." I looked at her. "Invite Grace over."

"Grace?!" She yelled. "She doesn't even know who Yoda is!"

"That's heavy." Juice sighed as he dropped the hood of her car.

"I know right. That's not the point though. I'm leaving." She sighed. "I'll catch you guys later."

"D, you don't gotta be like this." I walked with her to the car. "Hang around. You know exactly why he did that shit." I whispered to her as she started up the car and it roared to life.

"I don't care." She brushed her hair out of her face. She revved the engine and the car shook more powerfully than it normally did.

"You care that's why you're mad." I rubbed her cheek. "Don't let him get to you it's not worth it."

"I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. I gotta go. Maybe Ryan will come over and hangout. He's a football player for the Seahawks." She smirked. "Seahawk trumps Son any day."

I stood and she slammed her door and backed out with squeal of her tires and I watched her disappear into the setting sun.

"You had to make her mad?" I asked Happy as I pulled him out of earshot of Juice.

"I don't want her alone with him." He glared at Juice.

"They're friends." I sighed. I couldn't believe I was saying that. "You can't fuck with her Happy. I won't let you do that to her. You can't be hot then cold."

"I'm not fucking with her." He rubbed his goatee. "You know I care about her Koz."

"Leave the tough love act to me." I shook my head. "She needs a friend who gets what she's going through and that idiot right there is the one who gets it better than the rest of us."

"I still don't want her alone with him." He scoffed.

"She's not yours, she's her own person and can hang out with whomever she pleases. You know to get one up on you she's going to hangout with some football player." I laughed. "Claims to be a seahawk but whatever."

"What?" His face fell. "You're letting her hang out with a random ass dude?"

"She's an adult. I can't tell her who to hangout with. I do advise you to stop trying to be mean to her, you're playing with fire. I guarantee she'll break your heart and fuck you over before you get the chance to do it to her." I patted him on the shoulder.

"I never get the appeal of paying women to do what our sweetbutts do free!" I yelled over the music to Happy and Juice as we walked into the strip club.

"Change in scenery brother." Happy nodded as his eyes scanned the room. "There." He pointed to an empty table.

"This place is way better than the jellybean." Juice smiled as we sat down. "The girls look good."

"Best in Tacoma." I smirked.

"Holy shit!" Juice shouted and elbowed me and Happy. "Look!" He jutted a finger towards the door.

"Dasha." I choked on my own spit as I saw her walk in on the arm of some tall dude.

"She's with Ryan Burgess, Seahawks Quarterback." He nodded goofily. "I'm going to say hey."

Happy stopped him. "Nah. Leave them alone Juice. Let her enjoy herself."

"Yeah." I nodded. "We didn't see her if she didn't see us."

"You think I could ask her for an autograph from him later?" He looked at us both with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah I do." I nodded with a smirk as the waitress came over to us. This was going to be a long night of watching my daughter interact with a guy. I planned to watch them like a hawk and intervene if it was necessary and I knew that was Happy's plan as well.

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><p>I don't know, let me know what you guys think of the story? I want to know if I should continue it or just delete it and move on. I am having fun developing Dasha's character, so maybe she'll come into play in a different story or something.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14 Coward

_Thank you for my two reviewers: Majestic Butterfly and SamanthaMarie0930 just knowing you two are enjoying the story is enough for me to keep it up and going. This chapter and the next are two of the light chapters before things in Tacoma get dark. _

_Enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Malia POV <strong>

I held on tightly to Esai as he rode in and out of cars on the highway. He rode fast and it was something I hadn't experienced before. It was a breath of fresh air and a thrill on its own. I loved it. He was taking me to his house for the first time, with a promise to show me a good time.

When he pulled off the highway, he slowed down. He hugged the curves and I allowed myself to move with him and not against him. It felt natural to be behind him and hold on to him. When he hit a red light he rubbed my knees before taking off again when the light turned green.

We pulled into the driveway of a small, ranch style house and I smiled to myself as I slipped off and handed him the helmet back.

"This is it." He grabbed my hand and led me to the front door. "Ain't nothin' special but I love it." He smiled and leaned in for a kiss which I eagerly gave him. His hands found my hips and squeezed gently.

He broke the kiss. "I like the house." I whispered as he opened the front door and let me in. It was a bachelor pad to the tee. His was clean though, very clean and it reminded me of how I kept my space.

"Not too much leather?" He chuckled as he walked us to the sofa.

"Nope. Never too much leather." I signed as I sat down next to him on the sofa. He tucked me close to his body and I caught the scent of him. Leather, cigarettes, weed, and Ralph Lauren cologne.

"What's goin' on in that pretty lil head of yours ma?" He gently knocked his knuckles against my head.

"Not much, just thinkin' of my sister." I sighed. "She was in the news today, apparently dating some football player up in Washington."

"That's a trip." He laughed.

"I do need to tell you something serious before anyone else has the chance to do it." I moved away and looked at him.

"You knocked up?" He frowned at me.

I laughed. "No, I'm not knocked up baby. Promise you that."

"Then what could be more serious than that gorgeous?" He pulled me closer to him. "Huh?"

"My dad is an enforcer for the Sons of Anarchy." I blurted and blinked at him. "I should have said something sooner but I didn't know you guys knew the Sons until my sister said something to me."

"Wow." He stood up and rubbed a hand over his product heavy hair. "I mean that doesn't bother me, I just can't believe you're a daughter of a Son."

"Why not?" I looked at him.

"Because you're like Sons royalty then and that's huge. Like if they find out about us and if I ever hurt your feelings I'm dead." He laughed and sat back down next to me. "Which one is your dad?"

"I don't know if you are familiar with the SAMTAC charter, Kozik is my dad, so I'm not royalty or anything." I frowned.

"Never heard of him." He sighed. "I'd like to meet him one day."

"Seriously?" I smiled at him.

"Yeah." He nodded. "You met my pops already ma. Only right that I meet yours babe."

"Makes sense." I leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"Your lips taste like honey n vanilla." He ran his tongue back over my bottom lip. "So good."

I rolled my eyes. "You're a fool."

"My vieja tastes good." He pulled me onto his lap with a devious smirk. He kissed me again, this time he used more tongue and I pulled away. "What's wrong?" He ran a hand down my back as he stared at me through hooded eyes.

"Wearing too many clothes." I laughed and pulled off my layers, leaving me only in my bra. "Better." I smiled as his fingers grazed over the tops of my breasts.

"My favorite color." He smiled as he unhooked my orange bra and I let it slide down my arms. "Beautiful." He whispered as his thumbs made tiny circles on my neck.

I closed my eyes and melted like butter under his touch. It was slow and excruciatingly pleasing. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he kissed my chest and lightly bit my nipples. "You're killing me babe." I whispered against his neck before softly biting him.

"Gotta take if slow." He let out a low chuckle. "Gotta take care of my lady the right way."

"Mmhm." I smiled as he repositioned us so I was underneath him. His hands trailed down the front of my chest, his thumbs rubbing over my collarbones as we kissed. He was a patient lover, I appreciated every moment of it.

"Baby." He moaned as I slid my hand over his fabric covered erection and squeezed. His eyes fluttered close and I quickly freed him from his pants and boxers. I stroked him a few times before he pulled my hands away.

His eyes opened slightly and he unzipped my jeans and I lifted my hips so he could pull them off of me. He tossed them and they landed on the coffee table. "Fuck." He muttered as he rubbed his palm against the lace orange thing I was wearing. "You're killing me girl." He hooked his fingers in the waist band and tugged them off.

I smirked as he trailed a finger up and down my slick folds. "Please?" I looked at him and he smiled as he replaced his finger with his dick. He slid himself up and down before pushing inside of me slowly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pushed the rest of the way into me.

"Feel good?" He asked as he thrust into me. His hands still roamed my body as I looked up at him. His eyes stared at me. They were filled with lust and want. He was insecure and needed approval and praise.

I nodded. "Yeah, feels so good." I gripped his forearms as he rocked into me. Hitting my spot with a perfect rhythm. He indeed felt so good inside of me and I wondered what it would have been like to be with a man before this. Or was Esai made just for me. "Right there." I nodded as his pivoting changed and he leaned down to trail his tongue lazily over my nipples.

"You gonna come for me baby?" He asked as he sped up and got rougher. His thumb rubbed over my clit and I bit on my fist to keep from letting out w deep guttural scream as my orgasm tore through me. "Just like that Malia." He said as he continued his assault on me and soon he was climaxing, he pulled out and emptied himself on my stomach.

"Fuck." I moaned. "We gotta shower now." I watched him back off the sofa and he ditched his clothes.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Let's go shower."

I stood and followed after him. With hopes of him wanting to go another round in the shower.

**SOASOASOA**

**Dasha POV**

It was Thursday afternoon and I was hiding out in my bedroom. Not because I was in trouble but because I managed to make front page news of the local paper for hanging out with Ryan Burgess. Seattle's own golden boy and I was labeled his latest conquest. Which in my defense wasn't true.

I covered my face with a pillow just as my door swung open. "Go away Happy." I tossed a pillow in his direction. I could recognize his scent anywhere and I didn't want to deal with him.

"Dasha." He rasped. "Fucking talk to me little girl."

I felt his hands on my thighs and the bed shift. I removed the pillow and looked at him. "I don't want to talk to you, you're an asshole Happy."

"Why?" He glared down at me.

"You know exactly why!" I smacked him with a pillow and he laughed. "It's not funny."

"You're gorgeous when you're mad Dasha." He grabbed my hips and pulled me to him. "You fuck that football player?"

"Nope." I shook my head. "I have no need to."

"I'm sorry I was an asshole to you Dasha." He blinked at me with dark eyes. "I just don't trust Juice to be alone with you."

"What's so bad about Juice? Everyone warns me about him just as much as they warn me about you." I sighed.

"He's not stable." He droned. "Has a lot of sanity issues."

"So! I know about it, he told me he tried to take a swing from a tree. Said he hasn't been right since then." I looked at Happy and he was frowning down at me.

"And you still want to be be friends with a coward like him?" He scoffed.

"I'm done with you Happy." I sat up and slid off of the bed. "Mental health issues don't make someone a coward. In your world you can't talk about feelings and shit! He doesn't know how to cope with what he's feeling and you guys ragging on him doesn't make it in better. He's not you he can't shrug shit off and go about his day. He has a conscience and it's feeling fucking guilty."

"Calm down." He held his hands up. "Didn't think it was a touchy subject."

"It is." I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Do you even realize why I have my right arm heavily tattooed, or my thighs. If you feel them long enough you scan feel scars. Scars of desperation, an attempt to escape the unbearable weight of the stigma people put on those of us with mental disorders. Do you know how many times I've gotten told to go kill myself by mean girls? Like you guys can't take it lightly. What Juice is dealing with is serious and I plan to be his fucking friend."

"Look I'm sorry." He hugged me. "Don't cry. I'll let up on the idiot."

"Still done with you." I pushed him away with a smirk. "You're an asshole, you don't even talk to me unless it's on your terms. Like this between is not a relationship or nothing."

"Quit that shit little girl." He rasped. "You and I are in a relationship, we're just keeping it on the low. Pretty sure your dad knows about us though."

"I know he does." I shook my head. "He was happy that I went out with that Ryan guy even though it ended with a scandalous headline."

"Yeah, you can't go out with him again. You're mine." He kissed my neck.

"I went out with him to piss you off because you're immature." I crossed my arms. "Don't act like you, my dad, and Juice didn't see me at the strip club."

"You saw us?" He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"I heard Juice and saw his smile." I shook my head. "Then saw you and my dad scowling like crazy."

"He kept touching your ass." He pulled my hips into him. "My turn now." His rough hands squeezed my ass.

"Stop." I pushed his hands off me again. "I don't want this right now. No sex."

"Why the fuck not?" He moved back and let me climb back onto the bed and pull the covers over me.

"Because I'm not in the mood." I closed my eyes and laid back against my pillows. "I'm not up for it. I don't have a true reason, I just can't explain why I don't want to."

"You're upset?" He laid next to me and grabbed my hand. "Talk. I'm a good listener."

"I'm not upset. I'm just in this weird mood. I'm not happy, I'm not sad. I'm not content. I'm just in limbo." I sighed. "It's hard to explain. It's in the gray. Like my mind is muddled."

"Sounds unpleasant." He looked at me with soft eyes.

"I keep having these dreams. Well they're nightmares really." I wiped a tear from my cheek. "Of me ending up like my mom, and just going out in a horrific way."

"You won't end up like her." He whispered.

"We don't know that." I sniffed. "I could hit rock bottom."

"Keyword being could." He rubbed a thumb over my lips. "You're not like your mom."

"How do you know?" I looked at him.

"Met her once or twice." He chuckled. "She was the definition of crazy Dasha. She was the first old lady to ever be excommunicated from Tacoma."

"You knew her?" I sat up and looked at him. "But you didn't tell me?"

"Calm down killer." He smirked. "I just barely found out who she was a few days ago when Koz was chewing out Lee for poppin' off at you."

"Oh." I laughed. "Sorry."

"You're so passionate about pointless shit." He blinked at me. "You're not like your mom, so get that shit out of your mind unless you plan on torching your dad's bike, then you're just like her ass."

"No." I laughed. "I'm not going to set any bikes on fire. I'm glad I waited more than half of my life to go crazy."

"When did you go crazy?" He asked.

"I was fifteen." I twisted my hair into a bun and stuck my pen through it to hold it in place. "I was fifteen and didn't know what was wrong with me, had a full out mental break in the middle of Calculus. The police and ambulance were called in, ended up doing a mandatory seventy two hours in the psych ward. Went back to school and I was psycho until graduation."

"Damn, kids are mean." He rubbed my nose. "Calculus though?"

"I'm a fucking nerd." I chuckled. "Math, science, English, anything scholastic. I love it dearly, but my struggles have made me the writer I am and they only make me better."

"So are all people with mental disorders fucking smart? Because Juice is intelligent as hell but acts like an idiot and you're intelligent but act like a fucking wallflower." He grabbed my sketchbook and started to flip through it.

"I'm not sure." I shrugged. "I only am shy because I hate being judged, if I talk I'm weird, if I'm shy I'm stuck up. It's not a good situation regardless so I like to keep to myself."

"But you're always watching and listening." He grabbed a pencil and started to doodle on a blank page.

"True, I've always been like that though. I like to know everyone's weakness so I can use it against them if necessary." I shrugged.

"What's my weakness?" He asked without taking his attention away from his doodle.

"I am." I sighed. "I'm in your head, you don't want me there, but I am. One minute you're an asshole to me, the next you're soft."

"Yeah, so what." He whispered. "How are you going to use that against me?"

"I'm not sure." I lost myself in my thoughts. "I hope I never have to fuck you over."

"Me too." He said. "You got any colored pencils?"

I reached for the cigar box I kept my pencils in off my nightstand and handed it to him. "Knock yourself out. I'm going to grab snacks, you want anything?"

"A beer if you got one." He watched me leave out of the corner of his eye.

I pulled open the fridge when I heard the jingle of keys in the garage. I started to panic then shrugged it off. If my dad found Happy here in my room, it wasn't the end of the world. He would simply have to deal with it. I grabbed a beer, water, and snacks and waited for him to walk through the door.

"Hey D." He stomped his boots clean on the towel I had left in front of the door. "What's up?"

"Hanging out with Happy." I smiled as he processed the information.

"He in your room?" He asked as he hung up his jacket and kutte.

"Yeah, he's drawing." I laughed.

"Sounds about right." He laughed. "I just came to grab some shit. Been called to help out the Charming boys again."

"You're not upset?" I asked him.

"I am a little bit because of the age gap, but I don't know Dasha, if you want it go for it. If you start getting hurt pull back and go for something else. I can't protect you from heartbreak but I hope you're fucking smart enough to not repeat the pattern. If he hurts you step away and let it go." He hugged me. "I love you."

"I love you too dad." I smiled. "Be safe. Is Juice going with you?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Look out for him okay? He just needs at least one friend that's a Son." I sighed. "Do that for me?"

"I will D." He squeezed my shoulder. "For me, don't get pregnant by him alright? Be smart, use protection!" He called as he walked into his room.


	15. Chapter 15 Monster

**Thanks for the reviews, this is a light chapter. Some Kozik and Juice, with some Malia and Esai and a very sad flashback for the youngest Kozik daughter.**

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><p><strong>Kozik POV<strong>

"You always drive this slow?" Juice asked from the passenger seat as we headed to Charming.

"It's fucking snowing here." I said through gritted teeth. "Can't drive too fast or we're dead."

"Was Dasha in here? It smells like her like a lot." He sniffed the air and turned the vents away from him.

"Yeah, she left a blanket in the backseat, why? She stink or something?" I laughed as he grabbed the blanket.

"No." He draped the blanket over him. "It's a welcome scent. It's not like other girls I've been around." He sighed. "It's unique."

"She smells like BBQ sauce and vanilla cupcakes." I looked at him. "Don't tell me you can't smell the mesquite on Dasha."

He laughed. "Mesquite!"

"That's a Texas thing." I smirked. "She'll start to smell like pine trees and sand when she lives here longer."

"I hope not. I like her scent she has now. It's who she is." He frowned as he looked out the window.

"When she was little, she always smelled like grass and beef jerky." I smiled at the memory. "She was always, always rolling in the grass with handfuls of jerky."

"That's fucking cute." He looked at me. "Was she always that quiet?"

"Oh, no." I shook my head. "She was a nonstop talker, that girl. She was my social butterfly. It wasn't until she started getting older did it change. She was popular but it wasn't her own doing. It was from being an athlete. Then it got rough when she was diagnosed but she pushed through. Proud of her for that."

"Yeah." He rubbed his head. "How'd you deal with her suicide tempt?"

"Which one?" I sighed. "The first one, I about had a goddamn heart attack when her mom called me about it. I didn't talk to anyone for a week. I couldn't wrap my fucking mind why she wanted to end it all. It was I guess the first time I realized, there is something wrong there and I need to be understanding of what shit she is going through."

"Yeah." He sighed. "I tried to end it all, failed at it."

"Jesus." I glanced at him. "Be happy that you didn't succeed."

"Why?" He asked me. "Why should I be happy?"

"Because you're getting better aren't you? You have a friend in Dasha, she gets what you're dealing with. Now you have the opportunity to learn how to cope with shit." I nodded. "You have a friend in me. Happy too. We give you shit but we are here for you because you matter. You especially matter to Dasha. Maybe Malia too."

"I matter?" He asked. His voice was low and it reminded me of a child.

"You do Juice." I smiled.

He smiled and sat up straighter. "That means a lot to hear. I didn't think anyone besides Chibs would care."

"We care. We give you shit because you're young and all you do is dumb shit. You take random pills, you pass out naked at parties. You have a brain but you let it go to waste." I laughed. "Just try to think before you do shit next time kid."

"Can I tell you something? You have to promise not to get pissed off at Dasha though." He looked at me and I gave him a quick look.

"I promise." I braced myself for the worst story.

"That day that I cleared out the clubhouse, it was not to protect everyone's shit because I knew the rooms were locked. It was more so I could chill one on one with Dasha." He smiled. "We did ecstasy and smoked weed, then she gave me a lap dance, and I gave her one. Then we heard motorcycles and we climbed out the window and snuck into the garage and pretended to be working on her car."

"Oh my fuckin' god." I laughed. "I knew you two had to be up to other shit, no way Dasha is letting you or herself touch that car. I'm mad about the drugs though. Neither of you should do that ecstasy shit. Happy will be pissed if he finds out."

"She did tell me she was with him and I got upset because I like her, but like I don't know. Is it weird that I hope they break things off and she wants to be with me?" He let out an exasperated breath. "I shouldn't have told you that. Shit, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I rolled my eyes. "I don't want her with a Son, point blank period but at this point I can't really speak against it. I have to let her live and learn shit."

"I get that." He yawned.

"Enough of this emotional type shit." I laughed. "How about them Seahawks?"

"More of a Raiders fan." He said boredly.

"Um. Play any good video games lately?" I asked.

He perked up. "Yeah. I have."

I smiled and listened to him talk on and on about video games.

When I finally pulled into Teller-Morrow is was early morning. My eyes were tired and Juice was passed out on the backseat snoring contently. I got out and pulled open the back door and shook him awake. He hit the floor with a bang and quickly woke up.

"We're in Charming kid." I smirked. "Let's go get coffee."

"Yeah, yeah sounds good." He rubbed his eyes and hopped out. "Coffee and fruit."

"You can have fruit. I'm sticking to coffee and maybe some pussy." I laughed.

"I don't see how you fuck the croweaters they're like D and Malia's ages." He frowned.

"I stay away from blondes and girls with weird hair colors. It's not that difficult to separate the two things." I sighed.

"Koz!" Tig smirked at me from his seat on a picnic table. "You drove?"

"Shitty weather. Couldn't ride them down so we towed them." I pointed to the covered bikes in the bed of my truck.

"Glad you made if here safe." He tapped my shoulder. "I can go back to sleep now."

"You need the beauty rest." I scoffed. "We're just gonna help ourselves."

"Yeah." Juice cosigned. "Good to be back home."

"Missed you baby." Tig grabbed the back of Juice's head and started making kissy faces at him.

Juice laughed and swatted his hand away. "Very funny Tiggy."

"You didn't bring your daughters?" Gemma appeared in the doorway.

"No." I shrugged. "Malia is in the bay area now and Dasha, well let's just say she got herself a killer."

"You let that happen?" Gemma rubbed my back.

"It happened when I was here!" I said in my most annoying voice. "Made the mistake of putting him on babysitting duty and they decided to make something of that shit. I'm pissed but hope it all blows over with minimal carnage."

"Bound to happen baby." Gemma handed me a cup of coffee. "I thought she would have chosen Jax or Juice though, not Happy."

"I was banking on her finding some book nerd at work to mingle with." I laughed as I dumped sugar into my coffee. "Or a banker, shit I would have accepted that fucking football player."

"What football player?" She asked as she studied my face.

"She met an NFL player at some strip club, they went out and were photographed together. That shit made the news up in Washington." I drained my coffee, letting the heat soothe my body and temper.

"Hmm." She shook her head. "What's Miss Malia up to?"

"Get this shit Gem, she has a goddamn boyfriend! A boyfriend!" I yelled. "Before she moved to Cali she swore she was a lesbian." I rubbed my temples. "Dasha thinks her boyfriend is a Mexican thug."

She laughed. "Baby, looks like your girls have the same taste in men."

"That's what I'm afraid of." I chuckled. "Dasha has self restraint right, Malia is the slut. Not to sound bad, but she is."

"I'll start planning her baby shower now then." She smirked at me.

"Don't even say that." I choked on my coffee. "I'm too young to be a grandpa."

"I said the same thing about becoming a grandma." She slinked off. "Good luck with those two girls."

"Thanks." I said as I stared into my cup of coffee. Hoping Malia and Dasha would wait a few more years before making me a grandpa.

**SOASOASOA**

**Malia POV **

I walked out of my job and sighed as I leaned against the brick wall and lit up a cigarette. I took a long drag as I watched the cars speed by, the sidewalks were uncharacteristically deserted and I wondered where everyone had disappeared to. It was cool out but I enjoyed the weather.

"Ruca." I smiled as Esai approached me. "You shouldn't be smokin'."

"I know." I took another drag. "I'm trying to quit but it's hard as hell."

"I wouldn't know." He shook his head. "You ready? You got your bags n shit?"

"Yeah." I turned around and showed him my backpack.

"You excited?" He grabbed my hand. "I am."

"Yes I'm excited. I still can't believe we're going to the beach for the weekend." I kissed his cheek. "It'll be fun yeah?"

"Hella fun." He smirked. "We'll stop at the store n get some stuff to eat."

"You bring your car or what?" I asked as we rounded the corner.

"Yeah, there she is." He pointed to a orange Monte Carlo.

"The Great Pumpkin." I smiled. "Love the color so much."

"Hella pretty huh?" He opened the door for me. "Get comfortable."

"Thanks." I smiled. "This interior is so dope. My sister would die if she saw it. She likes cars more than I do."

"Is that right?" He rasped as he pulled away from the curb. "Well I gotta meet her one day too."

"I rather you never meet her." I sighed.

"Why?" He gave me a quick look.

"She's very pretty and people usually like her more than me." I blurted. "So I rather you not meet her."

"I'm all about you baby but arright. I won't meet her if you don't want me to." He gave my thigh a quick squeeze.

"Thanks." I squeezed his hand just as my phone started to ring. "It's her, it's like she can sense when I bring her up." I laughed and hit answer.

"Malia!" Her voice filled the car. "Dad is in Charming."

"What?" I asked her. "Why?"

"I don't know, something about some club shit, you know how that goes. Anyways I wanted to tell you I'm in a talent show this weekend! It's a SAMTAC charity event." She laughed. "Anyways other than that! How are you and your boyfriend?"

I felt myself blush bright red. "Good, I'm with him now."

"Yo, am I on speaker?" She giggled. "Hey Malia's Mexican thug boyfriend!"

"Rude!" I yelled. "How'd you know?"

"His voice, gave him away. You sound like vato! So sexy!" She cooed. "Anyways if you can link up with dad, he'd love to see you. I'm driving him insane!"

"'Ey." Esai said. "I'm Esai."

"Ohhh, that's a cool ass name! I'm Dasha!" She said. "Anyways don't get my baby sister knocked up and don't get her in trouble."

"Dasha. I'll text you." I said quickly. "Love you."

"Love you too!" She said. "Go look at my new hair colors when you get the chance."

The call ended and I sat there mortified.

"Your sister sounds like a party." He laughed.

"She is." I chuckled. "When she's in the mood to be that is."

"We linkin' up wit' your pops?" He looked at me.

"Maybe on the way back from the beach." I smiled. "Don't need him interrupting our plans."

"Arright, sounds good." He smirked. "You ready to stop n shop?"

"Yeah I am." I smiled as I scrolled through my Instagram feed to see any recent pictures of Dasha. "Holy hell, her hair." I frowned at the pictures she had posted. "Half royal blue, half platinum blonde."

I flashed him the phone against better judgment and he laughed. "Your sister is an emo chick?"

"She's not even emo, metal, or alt. She just likes changing her hair and getting tattoos." I sighed.

"You're prettier than her. Hands down." He nodded as he pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.

"Thanks babe." I leaned over and gave his neck a quick kiss.

"Don't even mention it." He got out the car and I followed him. "Let's get in n out quick."

"I'm down with that plan, we only need a little bit anyways." I let him grab my hand.

#

"Wow, this place is gorgeous." I stood on the beach with a huge ass smile. "So weird that it's perfect weather here but snowing where my sister is."

"Perks of Cali, we barely change seasons." He smiled as he hugged me from behind. "You like it?"

"Love it." I let out a satisfied sigh. "This is a good moment. Just wish I would have brought a camera."

"Use your phone." He let out low sleepy laugh. "I'm gonna head in n kick my feet up for a lil."

"Alright, I'll be out here for a little longer. Enjoy the sand and water." I smiled a t him.

"Scream if anythin'." He kissed my head.

"I will." I turned and kissed him. "Thanks for this babe."

"Don't even mention it." He walked back to the beach house. I watched him until he disappeared. Then sat down on the sand and stared into the water.

"So, mom. If you're looking down at me and D right now, I hope we're making you proud. I really hope you're watching out for D. She's always the one who needed an extra dose of faith and protection." I sighed as I trailed a finger through the sand, writing my name in quick strokes. "I also hope you're finally and completely at peace. I hope what you went through at the end, never becomes something Dasha has to go through. She's finally happy and I'm finally happy and I want us to stay that way."

"_Malia! We have to go now!" Dasha said as she grabbed my arm and started pulling me out of the building. _

_"Why?" I shoved her off of me._

_"I got a fucking text! Our house is in flames!" She yelled. "We have to go!" _

_"Omg! Mom!" I yelled_ _as the panic set inside me and we ran out of the building and to her car that was parked half on the sidewalk_.

_I panicked the whole way in the car as Dasha drove faster than her normal pace. Her face was set in a worried expression, her eyebrows came together, and her hair was a mess on her head. "She can't be in there right?" She looked at me as we turned onto our street. Only to be blocked by barricades of police cars. She threw the car into park and we got out sprinting to our house. _

_"Holy_ _shit!" I said as we stopped on the sidewalk in front of the house. It was engulfed in flames. The heat it gave off was indescribable. The firefighters moved around like a colony of ants trying to beat the fire. _

_"Get back!" A man grabbed my waist and I shook free of his hold. "You can't be here miss!" He successfully pulled me away as the windows of the house exploded. _

_"That's our house!" I yelled. "Our mom could be in there!" I turned and found Dasha in a crumpled pile on the ground. Rocking back and forth, her knees pulled to her chest as she shook her head wildly. _

_"Mom can't be in there right?" She looked at me, her mascara running down her normally perfect face. "Right Malia?" _

_"I don't know!" I dropped next to her. "If she is she's gone." _

_"Fuck." She slowly moved her head side to side. "Fuck Malia, how do we get right with this shit? What if she did this?" She gestured to the house. _

_"I don't know." I wiped my own tears. "I really don't know." _

_"Why? Why would she do this to us?" She looked past me. I could see the reflection of the flames in her dark eyes. "Everything we worked for is burning, everything!" _

_"D, we're safe though." I hugged her. "We're alive, everything, we can replace that shit." _

_"I don't care about the material items Malia, it's the other shit, pictures, stories, art work, my diplomas. That's the shit I care about. My life was in those journals and I can never get that shit back, never know exactly how I managed to get through high school. That shit, it was irreplaceable, it's all fucking ashes." She glared at me. "Fuck mom." _

_I shook my head. "Don't say that." I slapped her. "She was sick D. Very, very sick." _

_"You don't think I know that shit?" She stood up. "You're dad's daughter! The worst you'll deal with is addiction! I'm mom's daughter, I'm dealing with what she was dealing with. I'm sick Malia, but I would never fucking do that!" She pointed to the fire. "She just made us homeless!" _

_"Dad will help up Dasha, just calm down!" I stood and pulled her into a hug. "We'll get through this, we got each other. We're better together." _

_"Dad won't help. If he does it'll be out of guilt and not because he truly wants to. If he loved us and wanted to be helpful he never would have left us with a fucking monster." She went stiff in my arms. "She was a fucking monster and I'll end up being one too. I'm never having kids. I couldn't put them through the shit we dealt with." _

_"She wasn't a monster." I pushed her away with all my might. "She wasn't a fucking monster!" I yelled at her as a police officer came over to us. _

_"Dasha and Malia Kozik?" He looked at us with a face full of pity and fake sympathy. _

_"Yeah." I nodded. _

_"Sorry, about your loss." He started and my mouth went dry and his voice became a metal hum in my ears. _

_"She died?" I dropped to the ground. Dasha rubbed my back in circles and nodded yes slowly. "In there?" _

_"They pulled her out." Dasha said against my ear. "She was gone when they got to her." _

_I leaned into her and cried. _

"You ok ruca?" Esai's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "I heard you scream but no one was attacking you."

"I guess I zoned off." I rubbed my eyes. "Had a nightmarish flashback of how me and Dasha lost our mom."

"Damn, heavy." He sat down and pulled me into him. "Talk if you wanna, I'm a good listener n shit." I watched him set his gun down between us.

I looked at him and launched into the full story, included every sordid detail and all the shit that we had done just to keep her sane, but it had ultimately backfired. He listened and his expressions changed with every part I told him and in the moment I appreciated him for listening because I had never talked about it much to anyone other than Dasha.


	16. Chapter 16 Off White

_**This chapter is somewhat dark and violent. It's the start of a few chapters where I'll touch on the darker side of Dasha and how what she's living with impacts those around her.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Dasha POV<strong>

I sat in the chair, in the waiting room of Dr. Linden's practice. Happy sat next to me, his focus on the Harley magazine he held in his hands. He had insisted on bringing me. He wouldn't let up about it.

"Calm down." His voice cut through my train of thoughts.

"No." I bounced my knees up and down and chewed on a royal blue chunk of hair. "I don't want to be here."

"Little girl, you have no fucking choice." He stilled my knees. "Do you realize what the fuck you did last night?"

I shrugged. "I was there but I don't really remember. I sort of black out in the sense when I get to that point." I side glanced at him.

He frowned at me. "You set Lee's daughter's car on fire."

I frowned. "I don't even remember it at all Happy, I swear."

"Then you need to be here." He gave me a soft look. "I'll go back with you, if you want me to."

"I think it'd be best." I nodded slowly at him. "How come I don't remember?"

"You just said you black out." He shook his head.

"I know, but I can usually piece together episodes by now." I rubbed at my eyes to avoid unnecessary tear shed.

"Dasha." Dr. Linden spoke from the door. I took note that there wasn't a nurse this time.

"Where's the nurse?" I blinked at her before looking at Happy who shrugged.

"Day off." She smiled at me. "Come on back Dasha."

I stood slowly and waited for Happy to follow suit. He did. I released a breath I wasn't aware I was even holding. "Can he come with me?"

"Of course." She nodded at me. "Let's go back and get comfortable."

We sat in the leather chairs and she sat in one across from us. I took in my surroundings and frowned. This was a different office from last time. How did I not even catch that?

"Can you tell me what happened?" She looked at me. Her pen in her hand and her notebook flipped open.

"I don't remember." I said quietly. "I just know I got mad."

I heard a chain jingle when Happy moved next to me. "It was more than fucking mad Dasha. You went ballistic." He looked at the doctor. "This bitch was tormenting Dasha all night, calling her crazy, psycho, all that type of bullshit. Dasha got defensive, started standing up for herself and saying that she's not crazy but she'll show her crazy if she keeps picking on her."

"Does that sound familiar?" Dr. Linden asked as she looked at me. I gave a small unsure nod. "Happy please continue."

He squeezed my hand. "The girl didn't let up with her shit. She kept poking and prodding, that's when it went where it shouldn't have ever fucking gone." He stopped himself. "She brought up Dasha's mom. That set shit in motion, a few punches were thrown and I dragged her out of the party. She was sitting outside cooling down, I went in to grab her a damn jacket because it was raining and the girl starting shit, she decided to go outside and talk some more."

"Is this sounding more familiar?" She asked me as she stared with warm eyes at me.

"Yeah." I nodded. "She looked at me and was like 'poor psycho Dasha, we gotta keep all the lighters and matches from you, wouldn't want you to fucking burn down our homes, like your mom burned down yours.'"

"That sound right Happy?" She looked at him.

"Yeah." He said. "Well, we got that girl inside. Her dad was talking her down and shit. I was pissed off, because I'm protective of Dasha. Ever since I met her I felt the need to protect her and watch out for her. This time though, I just couldn't keep track of her, I couldn't remain fucking calm. What that girl did, it didn't fucking feel right."

"Continue." She gestured at him.

"I turned my back for one fucking moment and Dasha slipped off. Of course I panic, and the first place I look was inside. She wasn't there, then I go back outside and the girl's car was in flames. In a matter of mere minutes she had set the thing on fire." He frowned. "She was just standing there too, I had to pull her away and yell for someone to call 9-1-1. When we got inside, the car was just roaring with flames, thought they'd jump and catch the building on fire but it didn't."

I felt myself choke on my tears as I listened to him talk. "I don't even remember that part at all."

"Is it normal for her not to remember anything?" He looked at her as his thumb brushed over my knuckles. "It was scary shit. It scared me and that's a feat, does it look like I scary easily?"

"Yeah, it is typical. She had a psychotic episode. It's common, the patient has them and can have periods of days where they just lose time. She most likely won't remember today even." She blinked at me. "We're here to help you Dasha."

It all clicked. The empty waiting area, the lack of nurse, the new office. Happy being here. "No." I shook my head. "I don't want to."

"You need this." He said. "You need the help."

"I don't want to." I shook my head. "It's more bad than good." I felt the tears burn my cheeks. "God, do I have to go Happy?"

"Yeah." He looked at me. "Your dad wants you to, he's on the way back, Malia is coming up too. They want you to do this. I want you to do this Dasha."

"Fine." I stood up. "Let's get this over with."

#

I laid on the bed, in my furry hello kitty pajamas and stared at the off white walls in my temporary room. The smell hurt my nose, disinfectant. It was too clean for me. I had no comfort of my own clothes tossed around on every open space, like I did at home in my room. Instead, I was locked away in a mental health facility, for the next week or so.

"Dasha." The nurse standing in my door way spoke. "Medicine time darling."

I sat up and opened my hand to accept the pills, that would no doubt put me in a blue haze before dropping to gray, then finally into black. A black abyss of nothingness.

"Thanks." I placed each pill on my tongue and showed her before accepting the bottle of water and swallowing them down. I opened my mouth for her to check, to make sure I actually swallowed them.

"Good." She smiled. "I'll be back soon with your lunch."

"Whatever." I laid back down and stared at the walls. Listening carefully to the footsteps that fell in the hallway. I laid on my back and stared at the tiled ceiling. Counting the holes in the tiles, time and time again.

I closed my eyes and saw Happy's scared face. I had managed to scare a killer. I was becoming the monster that my mom had been when she decided to exit this world of pain and stigma.

"How'd she know?" I asked myself out loud. "How did she know I was crazy? Who told her my secret?"

"Eat." The nurse set the tray of food on my desk. "It's good for you."

"I'm not hungry." I shook my head. "Take it away."

"You'll like it." She said. "Just eat what you want to."

I stood and walked to the desk, I looked at the tray of food. A sandwich, grapes, carrots, a brownie and a paper cup of juice. "Finger foods?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm not suicidal, I can have real food and real utensils."

"Not up to me." She shrugged. "I'll be back for whatever you leave behind."

"Thanks." I sat at the desk and pulled apart the sandwich. It was turkey and chicken. I tore open the packages of condiments and emptied them onto the sandwich before putting it back together and taking a bite. "This is dumb." I said to myself, as I finished most of the food. I left the carrots and grapes. I can't eat carrots without ranch and I hated grapes with seeds.

"This place is dumb." I said to the wall. "How long have I even been in here?"

"Six hours." The nurse said as she slipped the tray into a rack she had parked outside of the room.

"Feels longer." I sighed. "How long am I on for?"

"Seven days." She said. "I'll see you for medicine time tonight sweetheart."

I tapped my nails on the desk and realized they'd been clipped. I don't remember that either. I rested my face against the desk and closed my eyes. Willing myself to wake up from this nightmare.

**SOASOASOA**

**Kozik POV **

"Shit." I kicked the chairs in the kitchen over. "Fuck!" I yelled as I threw another glass against the wall.

"Calm down!" Happy placed a hand on my chest as I reached for another glass.

"I can't!" I pushed him away. "My daughter is in a fucking mental hospital right now! I can't fucking see her or talk to her for the next three days!"

" I know." He shook his head. "She'll be fine. They're helping her."

"No!" I slid to the ground against the fridge. "They'll load her up on pills like they did her mom. She'll turn into a zombie. She won't be fine. She'll be a fucking shell of her old self." I dropped my head into my hands.

"Then it's up to us to remind her of happy times." He said. "You gotta be strong for her."

"That's the fucking problem." I wiped my face on my shirt. "I don't know how to be in this moment. I don't know what to say or how to fucking say it. I don't know what to do. I just don't know how to keep it together for her."

"I know what I want to do." He said. "Kill Lee's ass, then kill his daughter."

"Why would he fuckin' tell his kid anyways?" I stood up. "I'm going down there and letting him have it."

"I'll go with you." He helped me up. "That shit was hard to watch, Lee or Jackie didn't even try to do shit about it until Dasha started beating the shit out of their daughter."

"Dasha didn't deserve that torment." I wiped my nose on my jacket sleeve. "I'll be damned if I let this shit go easily."

#

"Where the fuck is Lee?" I asked Ninja as I stormed into the clubhouse.

"In his office." He stammered as I shoved him out of the way and stalked to the office. I yanked it open and found him and Jackie sitting there with their bitch of a daughter.

"Why the fuck did you let it happen?" I pointed at Lee. "I told you that shit man to man so I could protect my kid and you let your cunt of a daughter attack her in front of the club!"

"Watch it!" Jackie stood up.

"You stay out of this!" I shoved her out of the way. "Why the fuck did you do it? Fill me in because I'm fucking hurting right now Lee!"

"I told Jackie!" He held his hands up. "I didn't think she would tell our daughter, I swear Kozik."

"You did this shit?" I grabbed Jackie by her hair. "You're the reason for why my daughter is being held in some fucking mental hospital, why my daughter was humiliated in front of a party full of people?"

She shook under my grasp and I pushed her to the ground. "I didn't think it would end like that!" She yelled up at me. "She was just supposed to get shaken up, we always give the new talent a hard time!"

"You're fucking stupid!" Happy spit down on Jackie. "You don't fucking attack someone like that."

"You!" I finally turned my attention to my daughter's attacker. "You think its funny to pick on other people?" I pushed her back. "I'm old school sweetheart, I believe in beating a woman if she's in the fucking wrong, but by the looks of it my daughter did that shit for me."

"I'm sorry!" She cried. "I didn't actually think she was crazy! I didn't want to lose the talent show! Ninja kept saying she was amazing and I needed to impress the agent coming and I didn't wanna chance losing."

"You two cunts put my daughter in a fucking mental hospital because of a fucking talent show?" I pulled off my kutte. "You think this is all fun and games? You just ruined her life! She went through the torment shit her whole life in Texas, this was her fresh start and you've fucking tainted it over a bullshit charity talent show. I hope you guys feel good about yourselves." I pulled out my knife. "I'm done." I swiftly cut my Tacoma related patches off of my kutte. "I'm done with this charter, you're no fucking family of mine."

"We're sorry." Lee touched my arm and I shrugged him off. "If anything blame me. I shouldn't have told her at all."

"I blame you, I blame all three of you." I dropped the patches on the table. "I'm fucking done here. I want my papers, I'm going to try to patch SAMCRO, if I can't then I want to be nomad." I pushed out of his office before he could say anything else.

"How is she?" Ninja asked me as I stepped outside.

"Bad." I shook my head. "Can I trust you to clean out my room and drop the shit off at the house?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Tell her I said hi."

"I will." I gave him a smirk, just as Happy appeared.

"Standing with you brother." Happy gave me a quick hug before he pulled away. His kutte was bare, just like mine. No more patches identifying us as SAMTAC anymore. "I'll make the call to Charming, you go home and wait for Malia to get there."

I nodded. "Thanks." Just as I turned to walk to the truck Malia pulled in. Her import sticking out like a sore thumb in the lot.

"Dad!" She ran to me and hugged me. "What the fuck happened?"

"Little girl lost it." Happy rasped. "Lee's daughter got to her, said shit about her being like your mom."

Malia's face went from soft to hard. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Your sister is in the hospital." I answered her.

She shook her head. "Where the fuck is Lee's daughter at dad?" She headed into the clubhouse. "Where's she at?"

"Malia, stop." I grabbed her. "I don't need you going to jail."

She pushed me off. "I don't care, where's she at? No one hurts my sister, I don't give a fuck if I go to jail or not. Tell me where the fuck she's at dad!"

"Office." I said. "Be smart about this shit Malia." I grabbed her. "I know you want to hurt her, for hurting your sister, but what's that shit going to do?"

"It'll help me hurt less." She looked at me then towards the office. "I need to do this for myself, I feel like shit right now dad. Is that her?" She nodded as the office door opened.

"Yeah." I nodded and Malia took off like a bat out of hell before I could even move a foot she was on top of Lee's daughter.

"You fucking hurt my sister." She yelled as she slammed the girl's head against the ground. "You hurt her, you fucking deal with me bitch. I'm the crazy one!" She stood up and landed one solid kick in her face as Happy pulled her away and I held Jackie back. "You fucking bitch, I swear to God, you say some shit to my sister ever again and I'll catch you when there's no one around to stop me from bashing your fucking face in. You fuck with my sister you're fucking with me too. She's my world and I'll be damned if I let you get away with your petty mean girl bullshit."

"Let's go." I whispered against her head. "Pack up the house."

"Dumbass bitches." Malia hissed as I walked her away. "See me when you want someone your own size to pick on bitch."

"You're fucking crazy." Jackie yelled at Malia.

"You ain't seen shit yet!" Malia spat as she stepped around me and grabbed a hold of Jackie. Her punch catching the older woman off guard. "You want to say that to my face now bitch?"

Lee blocked Jackie. "Get her out of her Kozik, please!"

I grabbed Malia and she pulled away from me. "I can walk out myself dad." She glared at them one last time before turning and heading out of the door.

"Don't fuck with the Koziks." I said to Lee. "We're a crazy ass family."

**SOASOASOA**

**Malia POV **

I sat on Dasha's room floor, carefully packing up her journals and art supplies. She had amassed quite a collection in the short time she'd been here. I flipped through a sketchbook and smiled at the sketches before coming across ones that weren't in her style. I laughed when I saw the smiley face on the corner of the sketches.

"She likes when I add shit in her books." His voice startled me.

"I bet." I smiled at him. "Thanks for being there for her."

He rubbes his head. "Don't mention it. I care about her."

"I can tell." I closed the book and added it to the box. "It's never going to get easier with her."

"I didn't assume it was." He stared at me. "Don't bend any pages in the white journal, she just got it." He pointed to the book I held in my hands.

"Oh, I'm not packing it." I sighed. "Going to take it to her, when we visit."

"Good idea." He sat on the bed. "I wouldn't have pegged you for a fighter." He picked up Dasha's Hello Kitty stuffed animal.

"I'm not." I laughed. "I only get that way when it involves her."

"Makes sense." He scoffed. "Koz is real fucked up about this. I think he needs you. I can pack up her shit."

"Yeah?" I stood up. "Thanks."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm capable of packing up my lady's things."

I smiled at him calling her his lady. "Alright." I walked out of the room and knocked on my dad's door before heading inside. "Dad."

"Yeah?" He looked at me from his spot on he bed. "What's wrong?"

"Came to check on you." I sat next to him. "This is your first actual time being around for this bad of an episode."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm hurting so much."

"Me too." I hugged him. "It's normal, this hurt, you can't really describe it because it's so deep down."

"How did you do this?" He looked at me.

"I did it because I knew it was what Dasha needed. I had to be strong for her, mostly because mom was a wreck and you were always gone." I sighed. "We always had each other, so when she tipped one way I had to tip the other so we had balance."

"Sorry." He said. "I never knew it could be like this. Your mom, I went through it with her, but with Dasha it's so different, its scary, it hurts it just sucks."

"You'll learn to cope." I looked at him. "They give us those tools in therapy when we see her. When you see her, it'll be hard. They have her medicated so the psychosis passes. She won't even remember anything about the stay inside. She rarely does, and if she does it's always the last two days when her mind comes back."

"You're a pro at this." He shook his head. "You shouldn't be though."

"She's my sister, I'll always be around, I left a mini beach trip with my boyfriend to come here and be with you and her." I smiled. "She's my world dad."

"We'll get through this." He squeezed my hand. "We're the Koziks."

"Happy claimed D, dad." I laughed. "Called her his lady."

"Yeah." He rubbed his eyes. "Claimed her when he didn't run the opposite way when she torched that car."

"She torched the bitch's car?" I smirked. "Well damn."

"Beat her ass." He said. "Happy had removed her from the shit but that girl walked outside and kept running her mouth. She snapped."

"She always does." I sighed. "I'm glad Happy was there and helped get her into the hospital."

"Me too." He kissed my forehead. "We're moving to Charming unless Dasha decides she wants to stay."

"Doubt she'll want to." I frowned. "So much for her new life and fresh start."

"Yeah, well she can have a fresh start in Cali." He smiled. "Can you believe they made her snap over a damn talent show. Felt like Dasha was too much competition so they attacked her mental stability now she's suffering in a hospital she no doubt hates because it's too clean and they probably are treating her like she's suicidal and not homicidal. Cunts." He shook his head. "Our poor little girl."

I laughed. "You hear the real story about how they met each other?"

"What?" He looked at me. "They met at the clubhouse."

"Nah." I shook my head. "Ask them about their first time seeing each other, it's a cute story."

"I'm curious now." He laughed. "Explains why they were connected so deep right off the bat."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Let's get this house packed. Sooner it's done, sooner we can give Dasha her second try at a new beginning."

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><p><strong>Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. I definitely plan to incorporate Dasha's encounter with Lee's daughter in a future chapter as a flashback. <strong>


	17. Chapter 17 Voice

**So just as Dasha's moods goes up and down so will the chapters. So I'm trying to blend in both sides. So bear with me as I flush it out and tune it. **

**Thanks for the support as always, it's appreciated.**

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><p>Dasha POV<p>

I sat in the off white room, pulling at the ends of my hair as I watched the nurse set down my lunch tray. She was the same as she had been before. Dressed in all white, her graying hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, her face round and soft looking, her eyes harsh and dark as she gave me an appraising once over.

"Eat." She smiled. "Pizza today for you Miss Dasha."

"Thanks." I smiled. "How long has it been now, a day?"

"Yeah, a day." She nodded and left me alone once again.

"Just a day." I said to the wall. "I've been in here a day and I'm already hearing things I shouldn't be hearing."

I pulled a pepperoni off one of the slices and ate it. It tasted the same as a frozen pizza would. "It's not the best but it isn't the worst either." I picked up a slice and bit into it as I looked at the other food on the tray, a bowl of salad, with a spoon, a garlic knot, vanilla cupcake and a cup of water along with a cup of apple juice.

"Is this all there is for us crazies?" I asked the voice in my mind but it didn't respond at all. "Yeah I believe it is." I sighed and dropped my pizza to the tray. Pizza was always better cold to me.

"Miss Dasha." The nurse spoke. "Your medicine is ready."

I held out my hand, and she dumped the small cup out and counted the pills. Six of them all together. I put them one by one on my tongue and she handed me the apple juice. I swallowed them down and with a flashlight and gloved finger she made sure I took them all.

"They'll make you feel better." She smiled.

"I don't believe that at all." I said with frown. "Is there any I could take that would make the voice go away. There's this nagging voice in my head, she talks to me when I don't want or need her to. Sounds like my mom but she's dead so maybe it's my voice when I'm older."

"I'll have the doctor come in and see you." She brushed my hair off my face. "You'll be alright."

"I hope so." I sighed and sat on the floor against the wall. I pulled my sheet off the bed and wrapped it around me. I always felt better when surrounded by a sheet or blanket. In a cocoon.

"Miss Kozik." The man said as he walked into my room. "I'm Dr. Adams."

"Where's Dr. Linden?" I frowned. "She's my Dr."

"I'm afraid she's not going to be working with you while you're here." He sat in my chair and looked at me. "Is that ok?"

I shrugged. "I guess it's going to have to be."

"You want to tell me about the voice?" He looked at me.

"It's there, like it's different from the usual voice I hear of myself thinking or when I talk to myself about people when I'm writing." I frowned. "This voice is mean, she's always saying I'm crazy, she's always saying, you can't come back from this one Dasha, you're turning into a monster. You're your mom and you can't escape it."

"Your mom?" He asked.

"She was bipolar, borderline schizophrenia." I shook my head. "I can't have that. I've been only bipolar with anxiety."

"Have you ever been in the hospital for this before?" He blinked at me before turning back to the open folder.

"Yeah." I nodded. "That was because I went on a pill bender, and took more ecstasy than I should have."

"Ah yeah, chemically induced psychosis. You spent a week and a half in a hospital in Dallas." He closed the folder. "That was solved by you taking anti psychotics."

"Yeah, they made me you know, sleepy all the time." I shook my head. "The doctor told me I didn't need them, so I stopped them."

"I think you need them." He said. "We'll add them into your regiment."

"Alright." I frowned at him. "When can I see my dad and sister? Can I call them at least?"

"No. You can't make calls until the three days are up." He stood. "If you feel yourself getting bad, tell the nurse. Ok?"

"Alright." I nodded. "Can I get more pillows? I hate sleeping flat."

"Sure Miss Kozik. I'll have the orderly bring them in." He smiled. "I'll check in on you tomorrow."

"Alright." I smiled. "Thanks."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Stupid ass Hello Kitty." Malia muttered as the stuffed animal refused to sit in the box. "Where'd she get this thing from anyways?"

"I won it for her." Happy rasped as he rescued the kitty from Malia. "She pointed it out in the claw machine, so I won it for her."

"So whipped." I laughed as I watched him tuck the thing into his sweatshirt pocket.

"Nah." He shook his head. "My lady wanted it so I got it for her, simple as that. It made her happy, that's what matters right Herman?"

"Yeah." I smiled at him. "Her doctor called, said they added some anti psychotic medicine to her cocktail. So we should be prepared for her to be sleepy and out of it when we visit her."

"I miss her." Malia said. "More than I thought I would."

"I miss her too." I squeezed her shoulder. "A lot. We should tape the boxes, the prospect should be getting here soon with the truck and trailer"

"Alright." She smiled weakly. "Sick ass guitar." She lifted it from its case. "Where's my drum kit dad?"

"At the store." I scoffed. "You still play the drums?"

"Yeah, they went down in the fire." She yawned as she atrummi the guitar. "Man I haven't heard her play in forever! She was always good. Remember she wanted to start a band."

"Kozik Chaos." I laughed. "Chaos with a K not a C, God dad can't you get anything right?"

She laughed. "You'd be like well, Dasha that's a long name for a band."

"God, that girl is a character." I chuckled. "My little Devilish Dasha."

"You think they let her write in there?" Happy looked at us.

"No." Malia said. "She's not allowed to have pens, penicls, or anything that can be used as a weapon until after her initial evaluation has passed."

"She must be bored." His eyes went back to the journal he held in his hands. "Crash Into Me by D. Kozik."

"New story?" I looked at him.

"Yeah." He nodded. "It's based on her life."

"I can't wait to read that then." I smiled. "How come you get to read her journal but I never could?"

"No girl wants her dad to read her journal." Malia said.

"I asked her." He shrugged. "Here, read away pops."

"I'm sad." I said. "I can't read that yet. I'm hurting too badly and all I want to do is scoop my blue haired baby girl and hug her to death."

"Blue haired." Malia frowned. "She needs to stick with one color. I wonder if she'll go brown."

"I'd like that." I nodded. "My brown eyed, brunette."

"Stunner." She mused. "Dasha is a stunner. Regardless of her hair colors."

"That's not even the point." I pushed her playfully. "I'm having a sentimental moment, I want to hold my weird daughter."

"Weird." She laughed. "That she is."

"Life is thrown out of balance when she's not here. I just realized that." I sighed.

"Dad, I need to tell you some shit that you may not like." She blinked at me and frowned.

"You're really gonna kick me while I'm hurting baby?" I rubbed her nose.

"Yeah." She held my hand. "There is one trip to the hospital that Dasha had that we didn't tell you about."

I gaped at her. "When was this?"

"Like two months before mom went down in the inferno." She said. "Dasha was partying like crazy, got caught up with a new crowd at her work. Landed in the ward for over a week."

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I stood up and paced the room. "I deserve to know when my own kid is going through shit like this."

"We kept it from you because she didn't want you to be disappointed, the drugs she was taking sent her in, she didn't want you to think she got your addiction as well as mom's mental instability." She crossed her arms. "It was up to her. She just jumped off the tracks for a little bit."

"Drugs?" I frowned. "What kind?"

"I don't know, ecstasy I think." She looked at me. "Why?"

"Juice, he said that day in the clubhouse they had popped a few pills together." I rubbed my face.

"Nah, that wouldn't do it." She calmed my nerves. "She was doing it like all day, everyday and then mixing it with alcohol."

I sighed. "I can't believe this shit, or that shit. God, my fucking chest and head hurt. I don't know how to deal with this at all. I'm not equipped. We're trained not to deal with this, in this life."

"Yeah, I know." She hugged me. "I'm going to teach you dad. It's for the best that we weren't brought up in this life then."

"Yeah." I hugged her back. "I guess it is for the best."

"Love you dad." She whispered.

"Love you too Malia." I kissed her head. "We're in this together."

"Yeah." She sniffed. "We are."

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Hey." I said into my phone as I sat on Dasha's bed.

"How's she?" Esai's voice flowed over the speaker.

"I don't know, probably bad, we still can't see her yet." I sighed. "It's upsetting me."

"I can drive up if you need me ruca." He said smoothly. "You know I will."

"Yeah, babe I know." I laid back on the bed. "I don't want you meeting the family this way though."

"I get that. I'm here though, for you ma." He said. "Don't stress too much."

"I'm trying not to." I yawned. "I just want her to be alright. Not different you know what I'm trying to say?"

"Yeah, you want 'er to be the same as she went in." He sighed. "Keep your faith n head up babe. She'll be good after a while."

"Ima try." I laughed lightly. "I will text you. Bye babe."

"Lates, ruca." He rasped.

I sat and looked at my phone for a while before the screen went black. I yawned again and settled in against the many pillows Dasha always needed to have on her bed. They felt good, some smelled like her shampoo, others smelled like Happy. I stayed away from those, it felt like a violation of her privacy if I touched those pillows.

Her door creaked open and I sat up. "You need the bed?"

"Only if you wanna give it to me." Happy stared at me.

"Sure." I nodded and slid off with one of the pillows.

"Thanks." He gave a half nod. "You gonna be ok kid?"

I shrugged. "Eventually."

"Alright." He smiled. "I'm a good listener."

"I'll keep that in mind." I smiled and pulled the door shut behind me. "Dad." I walked into the living room and he was on the floor, a laptop in his lap.

"What's wrong?" He looked at me. "You want to talk?"

"No." I sighed and sat on the sofa behind him. "What are you watching?"

"Dasha and Ninja." He smiled at me. "They recorded themselves singing and shit the morning of the incident."

"Cool." I smiled as he hit play and Dasha appeared on the screen smiling. Drumsticks in her hands.

"This is for Malia." She beamed. "She taught me all she knew!" She launched into a bad rendition of Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl.

"She's a fucking dork!" I laughed. "Its amazing how the mind can go from being that clear and happy to being twisted and depressed. Like one instance took that happiness from her and now she's fighting to get it back. Doesn't seem fair to me at all."

"Life isn't fair." He said. "I know it's a played cliché but mental health issues is the hand she was dealt, she can fold and give up or she can play the hand she was dealt. She can get above this, she usually does. This time it may take longer for her to readjust because of her new medicine but we'll be here for her."

"Yeah." I nodded. "How many new medicines is she going to be given?"

"One more, just the anti psychotic." He rubbed his eyes as he fast forwarded through the video.

"This one is for dad!" Dasha yelled into the microphone. "Because he is a closet swifter."

"No I'm not!" He laughed at the screen. "She's lying." He hit pause.

"No, no." I said. "Let if play, I wanna hear what song she's dedicating to you dad."

"This is I knew you were trouble by Taylor Swift." She winked at the camera. Her voice filled the space of the living room and it felt like she was there. She was smiling and singing and strumming her guitar.

"She's talented." He sniffed. "You too."

"I give it to her, she's more musically inclined and picks up new shit easily." I shook my head. "I hope she returns to this soon."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

Someone, somewhere was screaming. She was loud and it pierced through the stark quietness of the facility. Sleep came easy but when I was woken up by the screaming, I stayed awake. Staring at the dim light at the bottom of my door.

"Miss Dasha." The night nurse opened my door. "You need anything?"

"No." I turned to face her. "I'm fine. I do need to pee."

"I'll walk with you." She smiled. I stood and slipped my feet into my Hello Kitty slippers. I still couldn't remember who had even packed my things for me.

"Why is she screaming?" I looked at the nurse as we walked towards the noise.

"I'm not sure." She shrugged. "Night terrors."

"Are those worse than nightmares?" I blinked at her before we entered the bathroom.

"Yes." She nodded. "The worst."

"I've never had them then." I smiled before I entered the stall.

"That's good then." She said. "You're a real sweet young lady. How old are you?" She looked at me as I walked out of the stall.

"I'm twenty three." I told her as I washed my hands. "I'll be twenty four in February. Valentine's day to be exact."

"What's with your hair?" She trailed her fingers through the end of it. "You trying to give your parents heart attacks?"

"My mom is dead. My dad, well he doesn't like the hair." I laughed as I dries my hands. "I like doing my hair for me and me alone, it makes me feel somewhat normal. Other women my age change their hair style all the time, I just choose to change the color as well."

"Makes sense." She opened the door for me. "It's a pretty shade of blue."

"Yeah, royal blue is my dad's favorite color, he also likes blonde hair." I sighed. "My little sister is a blonde, takes after our dad."

"And you?" She looked at me as I walked into my room.

"Mousy brunette." I shrugged. "Plain Jane."

"Nonsense baby." She tucked me into bed. "You've got a gorgeous face."

"Thanks." I whispered. "What time is it?"

"A little after six am." She smiled.

"That explains why I can't fall back asleep." I frowned. "Why'd they cut my nails? Took be fucking forever to grow them that long?"

"So you wouldn't hurt yourself or anyone else." She pouted at me. "You ever been clawed up?"

"No." I shook my head.

"It's painful." She said. "They'll grow back."

I looked at my nails. "I know. The squared off nails just throw my hands off balance. My fingers look so short now."

She laughed. "You feeling like your old self?"

"Kind of." I sighed. "I still get weird episodes but only at night. I think the medicine is helping already."

"Well, tomorrow is your visiting day." She smiled. "I have to make my rounds before I clock out. Enjoy your day Miss Dasha."

"Thanks, you too Marcy." I smiled at her as I stepped back into the off white abyss. The voice came back, this time louder than she had been before and I started to tug on the ends of my hair. Willing the pain to drown at the voice, that kept taunting me. I felt like Juice, that day I had found him in the bathroom talking to himself. It wasn't good, it mean I was veering further in the crazy lane than I hoped to be at this age.


	18. Chapter 18 Yelling

Dasha POV

I sat across from Dr Adams, his legs were crossed and he stared directly at me.

"Miss Kozik." His voice sounded bored. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I shrugged. "I never know what to say in these damn moments. I feel better but strange. I feel dead inside, like I haven't fully woken up yet. Does that make sense to you?"

"How about the voice?" He asked as he scribbled in his notebook.

"She's silent." I smiled. "I haven't heard her at all."

"That's really good." He nodded. "You excited to see your family today?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I really want to see my sister and get a hug from my dad. He gives the rib cracking bear hugs."

He chuckled. "It says here, that Happy is coming along. Who's Happy?"

"Happy is my boyfriend." I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Ah, he's the one who brought you in with Dr Linden." He looked at me. "You looking forward to seeing him?"

"No." I frowned.

"Why not?" He asked. "He seems to care about you if he brought you in."

"I don't want him to see me like this." I shook my head and wiped my tears away. "He told Dr. Linden he was afraid when that moment happened. God I don't even fucking remember what even happened to put me here really."

"Just breathe." He rubbed my arm. "Relax, we'll work through it. He can give you answers."

I took a deep breath. "What if he leaves me because this here scares him?"

"Then he didn't deserve you Dasha." He shook his head and frowned. "We need people in your life who will support you and grasp the fact that you're not always going to be on your A game. You may have times like this when you falter and need a reboot."

I rubbed at my knees. "I don't want to lose him. He makes me happy. He keeps me calm. He's like an anchor, keeps my sanity in place. I had an anchor in my sister then she left me."

"How'd that make you feel?" He stopped writing and stared at me.

"At first I was supportive, then I got really fucking pissed off. Then I was ok with it then I got upset about it again." I pulled on the hem of my shirt. "We've always been together. Everyone thought we were twins or whatever. Now she lives in Cali and I live in Washington."

"Have you told her this?" He started writing again, his pen making loud scratching noises on the paper.

"Nah." I shrugged. "I don't want her to feel bad about it. Her whole life she's been charged with looking out for me and now I want her to be happy and experience life without having me as a burden. It's not right to expect her to take care of me and my issues when she needs to care for herself."

"I see." He hummed. "What about your dad, how's that relationship?"

"Now, that." I started. "We need a month for that can of worms. To sum it up, he didn't think I was his daughter at first. So I used to have to call him sir."

"Wow." He shook his head. "That's fucked up."

"Yeah, we're good now." I smiled. "Me being out here, it's building a much needed father daughter relationship."

"Really?" He took off his glasses. "I'd like to talk to him one on one, then both of you together. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

"Yes." I smiled. "I'd like that a lot."

"Good." He nodded. "We're done for now, you can go out and do activities. Make friendship bracelets."

"I will." I stood up. "Who packed me my bag do you know?"

"I think Happy did." He smiled. "He's the one who signed all the paperwork to check you in."

"I'll have to thank him then." I nodded before I walked out and followed the green arrow towards the main sitting room. There were tables and they were covered with activities, an orderly sitting at each table. Wouldn't dare to leave any of us around safety scissors and thread. I laughed to myself as I sat down at the bracelet station.

"Miss Dasha." The orderly smiled at me. "You gonna make some bracelets for yourself?"

"Yeah and my family." I smiled. "How does everyone know who I am?"

He laughed. "Only patient with a half head of blue hair."

I chuckled. "Yeah." I touched my hair. "It looks good still, there aren't any mirrors in this place."

"Still vibrant." He nodded. "It's a good color on you."

"Thank you." I smiled. "I can actually wear these in here, if I make them?"

"Yes." He nodded. "You're going to be out of mandatory, so you'll have a bit more freedom."

"That's cool." I nodded. "That off white room was driving me all types of insane, more than deemed appropriate for the occasion."

"It happens." He cut my embroidery thread for my bracelets. "You don't like off white?"

"I think it's tolerable in small amounts." I attached my thread to a clipboard. "When you're in the room 23 hours a day it becomes a color you never want to see again. Then it was too clean, I may suffer from some mental issues but OCD isn't one. I like things to look lived in. I like my room to smell like me. This place doesn't have a good lived in smell. It irks me."

"You're a odd one." He laughed.

"My dad says I smell like mesquite and vanilla." I laughed.

"Mesquite?" He sniffed. "I don't get it."

"Your nose buds have been damaged by all the disinfectant and hand sanitizer." I frowned. "I wonder how many of these I can make before visiting times start."

I looked down and started to make the simplest design I knew how to make already just so I could complete three bracelets. The main one I wanted to make was for Happy, I knew he wouldn't wear it but I knew he'd keep it with him.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

Walking into the hospital felt weird. It felt weird being there for my daughter. It seemed like an unlikely place for a young woman to be. There she was though, in the rec room, on the sofa. Her hair piled on top of her head, a notebook in her lap, her hand moving across the pages as her eyes took in the sights around her.

"Herman!" She smiled at me when her eyes locked on me. I rushed over and hugged her.

"Dasha baby." I kissed her face. "How are you? Are they feeding you? Treating you well?"

"Dad, calm down." She smiled. "I'm fine, well as fine as I can be here. Where's Malia?"

"She's coming in, she had to return a work call. Hap is here too." I smiled at her. "God, I'm sorry I wasn't there when it happened."

"Dad." She looked at me. "I don't even remember anything."

I frowned. "I guess that's for the best baby girl." I sat down on the sofa and she sat next to me. Her fingers running the length of the I.D. bracelet she sported on her left wrist.

"I'm bad." She whispered. "Worse off then we actually thought."

"What?" I asked her.

"The doctor thinks I may be verging on the line of being a schizo like mom was dad." She stared at me. "Don't tell Malia though."

"I won't." I kissed her forehead. "Why does the doctor think that though?"

She shrugged. "I keep hearing this voice, it sounds like me, but also sounds like mom."

"Is it gone now?" I rubbed her cheeks. "Does the medicine work?"

"It's gone." She smiled. "The medicine works, it just makes me feel like I'm dead inside, like I'm not fully awake, like I just want to withdraw from the world and be absolutely alone. I gotta fight that feeling because if I'm alone, I'll go to dark places."

"Any other options to the medicine?" I felt bad hearing her say she felt dead inside. "We can look for options can't we?"

"We can talk to the doctor about it." She nodded. "I mean I just hope this shitty feeling passes. I can't be a monster like mom was. I can't do that. Like I don't even want kids because I'm afraid of passing this shit along to them."

"You can't decide that Dasha. It's a toss up, the kid could be perfectly fine mentally." I rubbed her knuckles. "Here they come."

She turned around and smiled. "God, dad." She looked at me and was bright red. "He looks scared."

"First time in life." I laughed.

"Malia!" She launched herself into her sister's arms. "I missed you so much." There were the tears. They hugged each other and cried together. "Omg."

"D!" Malia wiped her nose on her jacket sleeve. "I fucking miss you."

"I miss you." She said back and wiped her sister's tears away. "I hate it here so much."

"I know." Malia nodded. "I hate it too and you're the one stuck in here."

"I like the food though. She laughed. "It's pretty good."

Malia laughed. "You're so weird Dasha, I swear to God you're weird. I love your hair bitch."

"I did it myself." She laughed. "It was tedious but I did it!"

"You could have done silver down the middle. Been almost a cowboys fan girl D." Malia kissed her sister's nose.

"Almost." She shook her head and Malia untangled herself from Dasha and sat next to me.

"Hey Dasha." Happy pulled her in for a hug and lifted her off the ground.

"Happy." She smiled. "I miss you." She kissed him.

"I gotta hurt anyone?" He set her down.

"No." She shook her head. "Everyone treats me right. They know me before I know them. I'm the crazy with the colored hair."

"Told you to dye it black." He smiled at her. "How does this place work anyways? You get perks like jail?"

"Yeah actually." She laughed. "See these bands?" She held up her wrists. "Your color band tells the nurses, orderlies, and doctors what level you're on. I was red, which meant I couldn't leave my room for the first three days. Now, I'm blue and it means I can come out here and use pens and pencils." She laughed.

"Red is the worst?" I asked her.

"No, black is." She frowned at me. "Remember when I was black Malia?"

"Yeah I do." Malia frowned back.

"What is black?" I asked. "Or do I not want to know?"

"Black, means padded cell and straight jacket." She diverted her eyes go the ground. "It's mostly for patients on suicide watch, to make sure they don't hurt themselves while they're getting treatment for the first few days."

"So basically this is jail." Happy frowned and grabbed Dasha's hands. "What happened to your nails?"

"They clipped them so I couldn't claw myself or anyone up." She shrugged. "I'll grow them out again."

"When did you two meet?" I blurted out at them. They looked at each other then back at me.

"Walmart." Happy laughed.

"First night here." She shrugged.

"So he was the one who marked you up?" I felt myself get angry at her.

"Yeah." She nodded. "No big deal dad, don't get all red in the face."

"I'm calm." I said. "I just thought, well I don't know what I fucking thought." I glared at Happy who had placed himself in front of Dasha in an attempt to protect her in case I started in on her.

"I told him not to say anything to you." She rubbed her eyebrows. "When I found out who he was, we decided not to see each other anymore, then you told him to babysit me."

"She's not lying." He finally spoke up. "I respected that she wanted to end shit and then it all restarted, we fought it and failed."

"Jesus." I raked a hand over Malia's face out of frustration. "Malia, do you hear this shit? The idiots are in love."

"Seems that way." She smiled. "It's so cute, I'm going to fuckin' squeal like a pig!"

"Miss Dasha." The nurse smiled at Dasha. "Time for your medicine sweetheart."

"Oh, alright." She nodded and stood up. "Do I get juice or what?" She walked off with the nurse.

"She couldn't take them here?" I looked at Malia.

"No, they so a thorough check, make sure she swallows all of them. Has to put them on her tongue one by one and swallow then they check her mouth with a gloved finger and flashlight." She frowned. "Don't be hard on her dad. Let her be happy with him." She nodded at Happy who had stepped outside to smoke.

"It's hard for me Malia." I rubbed my brow. "She's young and he's not. He's experienced and I don't want her to get hurt and shit."

She laughed. "I bet you, she'd break his heart before he broke hers."

"I know." I frowned.

#

"We're in therapy why?" I leaned over and asked Dasha as we waited for her doctor to come in.

"Because we have issues." She deadpanned as she fiddled with the loose thread on her jeans. "Lots of sorta fixable issues."

"This is like an intervention huh?" I asked her. "To fix us because of the countless fuck ups I've made in your life Dasha?"

She shrugged. "Dad, calm down. This is more about me being batshit crazy than anything you've got going on in your big ass head." She glared at me. "Relax. He's not going to admit you unless you give him a valid fucking reason to."

"You got mad fast right there." I crossed my arms and glared back at her. "I don't appreciate you talking to me like that Dasha."

"Sorry sir." She hung her head and looked away. That quick she went from being my daughter to being the little girl I disowned.

"Dasha, I'm sorry." I grabbed her into a hug but she didn't hug me back. "D." She just blinked at me, her eyes glossing over as she became too still and silent for me to be okay with.

"Hello Mr. Kozik, I'm Dr. Adams, Dasha's treating psychiatrist." He shook my hand and looked at Dasha before sitting down in a chair across from us. "Dasha, how are you now as opposed to earlier when we spoke?"

She shrugged. "I don't know." Her voice sounded softer and broken. "Not better than before. Definitely worse."

"You don't sound ok, you need some time to yourself Dasha?" He reached out and softly touched her arm. "You feel cold."

She just blinked at him. "I don't feel to well."

He stood. "I'll grab the nurse." He rushed out of the room and I looked Dasha over, she was pale, sweating, cold, and her hands started to shake.

"I don't feel good sir." She choked out before falling to the ground in a seizure. I started to panic as I dropped to my knees next to her and turned her on her side.

"Aww man Dasha." I said as I rubbed her face and the doctor and nurse ran in. "Baby girl, you're going to get through this shit. Daddy's here for you." Her eyes were lifeless as I looked into them.

Then there was yelling, lots of yelling. I was being pulled backwards and away from her but I fought for a minute before relenting and letting them drag me into the hallway as the room door swung shut.

To Be Continued…

* * *

><p>So I know I left it as a cliffhanger kind of. But it'll be updated tomorrow and yes I will be including more back history as to how Kozik dealt with his wife and her episodes along with how both girls handled it. I will also touch on how Kozik knew what was wrong with Dasha.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19 Sick

Malia POV

I stood when my dad came running towards us, a look of worry and pain etched into his handsome face. His breathing was ragged and his face drained of color as he stood in front of me and Happy. His hands tangled in his blonde hair as he glared at us with dark blue eyes.

"What's wrong?" Happy rasped out for the both of us.

"She-she, Dasha had a seizure." He shook his head. "Right there, in therapy, she just went glassy eyed and started to convulse."

I felt my knees go weak and rough hands catch me and sit me down on the sofa. "Where is she?"

"She's being taken to the hospital." He said. "Tacoma Memorial."

"Let's go." I said. "Right now, I have to be there for her dad." I stood back up and pushed around Happy. "Let's go now dad!"

"Okay." He gestured to the doors. "After you baby."

The ride to the hospital was fast. The sitting in the waiting room was the thing that was killing me. No one could tell us anything, just that we had to wait and the attending doctor would speak to us when he could.

"This is fucking bullshit." I kicked the chair across from me. "How can the doctor not know anything right now?"

"Relax kid." Happy glared at me. "You getting upset ain't gonna do shit but get you cuffed and kicked out."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm relaxed."

"What is that beeping?" My dad asked as he looked around.

"Dasha's phone." I pulled it out of my pocket. "Been beeping all day."

"Put it on silent." He tried to swipe it but I moved it out of the way.

"No." I smiled. "I'm trying to keep track of how many texts, tweets, and likes she's getting."

"No idea what tweets are." He shook his head. "Who's texting her anyways?"

"You didn't tell the SAMCRO guys about her did you?" I asked him.

"Oh shit." He covered his mouth with his hands. "I just said family emergency."

"Juice and Jax both texted her." I deadpanned as I looked over the screen. "The seahawk too, she's gotten tweeted to like fifty times, and she's gotten over five hundred likes and six hundred followers on Instagram."

"Huh?" They both stared at me.

"She's popular on the internet." I handed the phone to my dad. "Scroll through her pictures."

"Look how gorgeous she is." He smiled. "Killin' the game."

"Huh?" I looked at him.

"That's what the comment thing under the picture says. Get with the times." He stuck his tongue out at me.

"Oh." I laughed. "She's popular though, among the inked type crowd."

"She got offered to do a shoot with a tattoo magazine. She said she needed to finish up some pieces." He sighed.

"Her motto is ink my my whole body." I rolled my eyes. "At least they're well done tattoos."

"Amen." Happy smiled.

"How do I go through this thing?" He asked as his thumbs fumbled over the screen. "I wanna snoop."

"I don't think you should snoop, because if you find shit and you get mad you can't tell her anything." I crossed my arms. "Plus no dad should see what she has in her phone."

"That makes me more curious." He sat back messed with the phone. "I saw some shit called sexting on the news once, don't need her doing that shit."

"Family of Dasha Kozik?" The nurse called as she stood in front of us.

"That's us." I hopped up. "How is she? Is she alive? Omg!"

"Relax." The nurse smiled. "She's alive and on the road to recovery. Follow me and the doctor will tell you more about what happened."

"OK." I nodded. We followed after her and she led us into a room that was closed off by curtains.

"I'm Dr. Brown." A man stepped from behind the curtain and yanked it back. Revealing Dasha who looked like she was resting peacefully. "Dasha, here had an allergic reaction it looks like to the new medication. That caused her to start convulsing. We've taken her off and are currently giving her a medicine to flush the medication out of her system."

"So she'll be okay?" I asked him. "With time and when it's gone?"

"Yes, she will be fine." He smiled tightly. "But, she is getting every medicine pushed out of her system, so there is a chance that she will have manic episodes and bouts of psychosis as we clean her out and start reintroducing her body to medicines."

"So she's going back to the other hospital after she leaves this one?" I frowned. "That's fucked up."

"I know." He frowned and looked at Dasha. "We are going to start her on the original medicines she had been taking already in the morning, then we'll try with a new anti psychotic."

"What?" I blinked at him. "She has to take that permanently? With her others?"

"No, the new medicine will be temporary, the treating doctor will be the one who either keeps her on it or takes her off of it." He looked at me.

"Oh, alright." I sighed. "Thanks."

"Just hit the button if you need me or the nurse. She should wake up within the hour." He smiled and turned and left us all staring at her.

"This is still so fucked up." I sighed. "Do you know expensive all this bullshit is?"

"I got an idea." My dad blinked. "She has insurance though, through work. She brought the paperwork home one day."

"Thank God. That'll pay for most of this then." I rubbed Dasha's forehead. "You're killing us here D."

"I'm hurting." My dad said. "This is scary as hell."

"You can say that again." Happy spoke softly. "I only ever had to sit in hospitals for my mom. This is different."

"Very different." I shook my head. "Dasha and I always spent more time in hospitals than we should've. Our mom was always going in. Then we'd visit and Dasha wouldn't talk for days after that. She always would tell me she'd end up like mom, I just don't think we took her serious."

"I didn't." Dad shook his head and rubbed her cheek with a thumb. "I always told her, just because she looked like her didn't mean she'd have the same problems."

"She doesn't. Her problems are unique to her. You know a doctor told me it was rare for her to be so sloppy and messy when she had bipolar." I laughed. "It sounded so stupid at the time but remember how organized and clean mom was. She would get on D every time D would walk out of her shoes in the wrong spot."

He laughed. "Remember that time D went on that young leaders retreat and your mom cleaned her room. When she got back she cried for two hours because she couldn't find some book."

I nodded. "Yeah, and mom was like check the bookshelf Dasha because guess what that's where books go!"

He smiled. "Those two were like oil and water, couldn't get them to agree on anything."

"Besides Dasha needing to go to college and pursue a writing career. She wrote for the college paper all four years." I sighed. "She used to write a column called The Crazy Coed."

"I didn't know that." He frowned.

"She used a fake name." I rolled my eyes. "She was Naomi Marie when she wrote which ironically turned into her stripper name."

"Naomi?" He rubbed his temples. "I don't need the stripper details Malia."

"Sorry!" I squeaked out.

"I forgive you." He smiled and hugged me. "We gotta get her above this."

"I agree." I nodded. "Hap, you in?"

"Of course." He gave us a half nod from his spot on the foot of her bed. "She's my lady."

**SOASOASOA**

**Kozik POV **

Four days and counting. I was going stir crazy waiting for Dasha to turn around and start recovering mentally. A process I knew would take a while, I was ready to stand by her in that. Ready to hold her when she broke and ready to pick her up when she fell.

_"Jenn." I spoke. "You ok babe?" Her eyes were dark and empty as she looked at me. The look sending chills down my spine as I realized she wasn't OK. _

_"Help me." She squeaked out before she went down hard, her small frame starting to shake. I did the only thing I knew how to do, call for help. _

_"Daddy!" Dasha called out. "What's wrong with mommy? Why is she shaking?" _

_Oh god, I shook my head as I looked into Dasha's big brown eyes. "Mommy is sick baby." _

_"Will I be sick like that?" She blinked at me, her eyes growing dark and glistening with unshed tears. _

_"Not if I can help it baby girl." I smiled. "Jenn, help is on the way, just stay with me babe. I'll get you through this." _

I paced back and forth in Dasha's hospital room and looked at her, I had failed, she had gotten sick just like her mom. The doctors decided against admitting her back into the mental rehab facility. Instead they opted for observing her in the regular hospital, in their psych ward.

"You'll wear a path in the floor." She said. "Sit down."

"I can't." I looked at her. "This is day seven." I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I'm aware." She yawned. "I don't know what pacing is going to do for either of us dad."

"Is it there?" I blinked at her. "The voice?" I asked remembering the night before when she woke up screaming bloody murder causing the nurses to flood in and sedate her.

She nodded yes slowly. "It's going away though."

I wrang my hands out. "Good, that's good."

"Herman." She frowned at me. "You're going to end up in here next to me if you don't calm down."

"You sound like your mom." I laughed. "I'd get this way with her, this right here though is tearing me apart."

"I know. I'm sorry." She fell back against her pillow and clutched to the Hello Kitty stuffed animal Happy had brought in for her.

"Don't apologize for something you have no control over. Not your fault your brain is wonky." I rubbed her head.

"Alright." She sighed and looked at the ceiling.

"You spent three days in the other place, four here." I looked at her charts. "They have you marked down as Miss Dasha here too."

She laughed. "You're not supposed to read those."

"Miss Dasha." The nurse walked in holding a tray of food. "I have your lunch."

"I'm not eating that shit." Dasha turned her nose up. "Can't I get something good from the caf?"

"We're not doing this shit again." I took the tray. "I'll get her to eat it."

"Ok." The nurse nodded at me then looked at Dasha, who was glaring at the both of us.

"This is better than prison food and military food Dasha. Eat some." I nudged the tray towards her. "Try some for me?"

"No." She pushed it back. "I want actual food! Like steak and potatoes or beef bourbon or whatever the hell it's called. I just want meat and potatoes. Not this shit."

"Too damn bad." I handed her a spoon. "This is what you get, do you want to add anorexia to your list of problems?" She shook her head no. "Then try to eat, when you get out I'll buy you a steak dinner or whatever."

"Don't you have club shit?" She ate a spoonful of the mashed potatoes and cringed as she swallowed them down.

"I sort of quit." I gave her a look. "Happy did too."

"Why?" She blinked at me.

"Because of what Lee's daughter and wife did. They're the reason you're in here Dasha, the reason you snapped. You don't remember anything at all?" She just stared at me. "Jesus." I sat on the edge of the bed and launched into the story Happy had told me and the doctors at least a dozen times since she'd been in this hospital. Her face went from calm, to sad, and settled on anger. Her hands turned into fists as her eyes went almost as dark as Happy's had when he recanted the story.

"So, she tormented me for a fucking bullshit talent show?" She looked disgusted. "She's lucky I didn't set her on fire while she was in the goddamn car."

"How don't you remember?" I asked as I tasted some of the potatoes. They were disgusting but still above the military meals.

"I never really remember manic episodes or bouts of psychosis." She shrugged. "It's been like that."

"So you just lose days of your life?" I frowned.

"Yeah, sometimes weeks." She took a nibble of the mystery meat. "I always write when I can, so after it I have some memory even if it's bits and pieces."

"Yeah." I nodded. "This food is shit, I'll grab you a sandwich or something later, alright?"

"Mmk. Where's Malia?" She looked at me from behind her Hello Kitty.

"She had to go home for work or she was going to get fired." I droned. "Shell be back though."

"That's good, I'd hate to have her just sitting around waiting." She smiled. "Where's Hap?"

"Downstairs, making calls and chain smoking." I frowned. "He's been going through this with me and your sister the whole time."

She grinned. "That's love."

"Yeah it is." I sighed. "Be careful."

"Always." She smiled. "This Hello Kitty plush smells like him. Cigarettes, leather, weed, and Ralph Lauren."

"He doesn't wear Ralph Lauren." I scoffed. "He wouldn't spend money on shit like that."

"He smells like it. I swear." She smiled. "I know colognes and his is Ralph Lauren."

"Bull fucking shit, his cheap ass would not shell out money for that." I laughed and crossed my arms.

"Yeah, he likes smelling good." She blinked at me. "His room is OCD clean, he has various colognes and deodorants on his dresser."

"How do you know that?" I looked at her and she smiled.

"I slept in his room that night I stayed late at the clubhouse." She smiled. "I snooped."

"Speaking of snooping." I pulled her phone from my pocket and handed it to her. "Curiosity got the best of me."

"It's whatever. I have nothing to hide." She smiled. "Let's post a selfie." She frowned. "It's dead."

"Couldn't find your charger." I chuckled. "I also want to know, if you want to stay here given everything or would you want to move down to Charming and be with the SAMCRO family?"

"Juice and Jax are there?" She chewed on her lips and focused on an invisible spot on the ceiling. "I guess we can move there. I love it here but Tacoma is small and shit travels."

"Think about it some more. We have the house packed and ready if you want to or we can unpack and stay. I would have to transfer back to nomads and I won't have a home charter, same with Happy." I smiled at her.

"We can move. I like the SAMCRO guys better. They seem more accepting of the whole crazy thing." She laughed.

"They do crazy well there." I chuckled. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah I am." She nodded. "I get along well with Juice and Jax too. I think Tig would be a cool friend if he stopped looking at me like he wanted to attack me."

"Nah, Tig. He's crazy." I frowned. "He'll freak you out for sure."

"Why?" She looked at me. "He have sex with dead people?"

"Maybe." I shrugged.

"Ew!" She laughed. "I'm curious about that though, like what's the point of having sex with something cold?"

"Who knows?" I shrugged. "You really sure about this?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "I just need to do a few things before I leave."

"Like?" I asked.

"Get laid off, so I can keep my benefits for a while until I find a different job or get disability benefits for being crazy." She sighed. "Kill Lee's daughter."

"That reminds me." I pulled out two envelopes from my wallet. "Insurance check, and life insurance checks from your mom's estate."

She clutched them in her hands. "Seriously? This is coming at a much needed time. I thought I'd have to sell Bawse or my kidney."

"I would have sold my truck before I let you sell that damn car." I kissed her head. "I'm going to head outside and smoke with Hap. You cool with that?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Real cool."

#

"How's she doing?" Happy asked as I sat on the park bench across from him.

"As well as can be expected after all the shit she went through." I rubbed my hands together and lit a cigarette. "I can't fucking wait to get to Charming and the heat."

"She agreed?" He smirked at me.

"Yeah, she wants to find out about Tig and his love for dead bodies." I rolled my eyes. "She's also excited about being around Juice and Jax."

"Pretty boy and the idiot." He scoffed. "I gotta watch out for the idiot."

"I'm more concerned about pretty boy then the idiot." I sighed. "Juice is easier to read then Jax is."

"If Jax was going to make a move, he would have fucking done it already. He may act all mysterious but when he wants pussy he goes after it." He rolled his eyes. "She's my lady, I ain't letting him near her if he's trying to push up on her as more than a friend."

"You be careful." I pointed at him. "She's my daughter and we're not going to be doing the struggle of I know what's better for her then you do."

"Didn't even cross my mind." He held up his hands. "Far as I know we're both looking out for her and I don't plan to cross any more lines."

"Good, you hurt her though you'll be dealing with me." I glared at him.

"Got it Kozik." He shook my hand. "Ain't gonna hurt her. If I didn't have feelings for her, I wouldn't be here right now, wouldn't have stuck through it."

"Alright." I dropped my cigarette in the snow and watched the the glow die out. "I'm watching you Happy."

He smirked and rolled his eyes. "I'm watching you too." He pointed his fingers to his eyes then to me as I walked off backwards towards the hospital building. I was stuck on one tiny detail, what did Dasha see him in to make her want him and not any other guy?


	20. Chapter 20 Brown

Dasha POV

"Happy." I spoke. "You been sleeping good?"

"Not really." He rasped. "Been difficult sleeping at your place without you."

"I bet." I smiled. "I hate being there alone."

"You really moving to Charming?" He looked at me from under the brim of his black baseball hat.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Not looking forward to learning the names of a new charter, didn't even learn the SAMTAC guys names."

"Charming, the names are easier. You already know Juice and Jax, met Tig and Chibs. That's half of them." He turned his hat around. "You'll like it there. They are crazy too."

"Real crazy?" I laughed. "Or just do crazy shit."

He smiled. "All of them are crazy in their own way. Tig being the craziest."

"I can't wait." I smirked as I played with my hospital bracelets.

"You gonna work at a book store there?" He smoothed out the front of his jeans as he shifted in the chair.

"If I can find one then yeah, or I'll just bum around and write. Got the insurance checks." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"You gonna change your hair?" He nodded at it.

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'm going to go brown. I'll look normal."

"That's never the problem." He stood. "You always look good Dasha."

"Then why do I get so much shit for my hair?" I laughed.

"Because it's the easy thing to get on you about." He sat on the bed with me. "I can get on you for being a midget."

"I'm above average height." I smacked him.

"You're tell me gnomes come on different heights? Thought they were all your size." He chuckled.

"Oh you're hilarious." I laughed. "I'll have you know I was an all American athlete in high school."

"Don't tell me little girl, you were a goddamn cheerleader." He looked at me.

"I was!" I yelped. "We lived in Texas, if I was a boy I would have been a football player."

"I can't see your scowling ass as a cheerleader." He rubbed my thighs. "You excited to be leaving?"

"Yes! I need to get laid!" I snorted. "By you."

"You're telling me." He shook his head. "I need to fuck my lady. It's been what like over a week that you've been here?"

"Eight days, but today I get out. Just waiting for Kozik." I frowned. "He's never on time to this shit."

"He's been having a hard time, coping with this all." He shrugged. "He needs a vacation."

"He needs beer and pussy." I rolled my eyes. "He used to like withdraw from the world when my mom used to go in and he wouldn't be around at all afterwards. It's always been too much."

"That's different." He grabbed my hands. "This time he's going through all of it with you. You're his kid. That shit fucks him up twice as hard."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Don't tell him I told you, but he cried when I got diagnosed with being bipolar."

"I would have cried too." He smiled. "Can they give you anything for being messy?"

"Low blow!" I smacked his arm. "I've always been messy. It helps me with my creative process."

"I cleaned your room babe." He scrunched his face up. "I don't see how having shirts folded on the floor helps you with anything."

"At least I started folding them." I nodded my head in accomplishment.

"God forbid you stick them in your dressers." He laughed as my dad strolled in holding balloons and teddy bears.

"Look." I turned him towards my dad.

"I got you gifts." My dad said. "Even found a Hello Kitty shaped balloon."

"That's so kawaii." I stood and hugged my dad.

"Don't know what Hawaii has to do with it but alright." He kissed my head. "You're getting out!"

"I feel like I just got released from jail and you two are the homies that showed up with guns and malt liquor." I shook my head and smiled.

"Malt liquor?" Happy looked disgusted. "No."

"Coronas?" I asked and he nodded.

"And hard liquor." My dad added. "I signed all the paperwork. You're free Dasha."

"Yes!" I cheered. "I need a real shower so bad and I need to get this hair color out."

"Let's go then. The nurse said the doctors already had talked to about after care." He looked at me.

"Yeah for three goddamn hours." I shook the balloon and it rattled. "I'm aware of what to look out for and not to mix any drugs or alcohol with my medicine and to keep seeing psychiatrist."

"Then let's get going." Happy said as he grabbed my duffle bag and stuffed Hello Kitty off the bed.

"So glad to be leaving but this place is way nicer than the one in Texas." I shook my head as we walked out the room. I stopped here and there to say goodbye to my nurses and other patients I befriended.

#

"Holy shit." I heard my dad say as I walked out of the bathroom. "You look like your mom did when I met her."

"Did she go crazy before or after?" I laughs as I ran a hand through my newly brown tresses.

"Before." He frowned. "Come sit. Let me tell you a story Ash."

"I hate when you call me that." I sat on the stool next to him.

"Yeah yeah." He kissed my cheek. "I wanna tell you about the first time I saw your mom break."

"Alright." I nodded.

"I was asleep. She was awake I guess. I don't really know since I was asleep but I woke up to her pressing a knife to my throat. She was babbling on about how I broke into the house. So I spent a good fucking ten minutes talking her ass down." He frowned. "I had to pin her to the bed and call the police because she kept yelling and screaming about me being a monster and voices. She said the voices told her I was evil. So at this point I got terrified because I only ever dealt with her mood swings."

"So seeing me freak when I was fifteen brought the cycle back around?" I wiped the tears from my face.

"It hit me hard but I knew something was off with you before that. Back when you were twelve. You started to get mood swings like you mom did." He cleared his throat. "I knew but I was in denial."

"We were all in denial." I hugged him. "It was nothing we could have prevented dad."

"But if we could have got you the help earlier we would never had to deal with that school shit." He gave me a kiss on the forhead.

"That made me stronger." I smiled. "I can handle most shit now."

"Except being tormented." He frowned.

"Honestly I was due for a mental reset. I guess it came sooner and because of a mean girl." I smirked. "When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning." He hugged me. "I love you."

"I love you too dad." I hugged him back and smiled.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

I laid in my bed awake. Thoughts of Dasha swimming in my mind. The sight of her on the ground shaking like her mom stuck out the most. It fucked with me. I never wanted shit to reach that level. Never wanted Dasha to know the pain of dealing with mental issues.

_"Dad!" Dasha yelled. "Daddy! Help me! Make it stop!" _

_"What's wrong Dasha?" I sat on the bed with her. "Talk to me baby girl." _

_"Dad!" She screamed. "It hurts! Dad make it stop! Please dad make it fucking stop!" _

_"Talk to me Dasha, what's hurting you baby girl?" I rubbed her forehead. _

_"Daddy! Make the monsters stop!" She looked at me. "Please daddy!" _

_"Oh God." I gathered her in my arms. "Dasha I got you baby girl. There aren't any monsters. Monsters are fake. I'll keep you safe baby." _

I sat up in bed. That memory haunted me on occasion. She was six, and we had chalked up the monsters to being part of her young imagination. None of her doctors took it serious enough to have her evaluated.

"Fuck." I smacked the headboard. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I slipped out of bed and made my way to the kitchen for a cools beer.

"She keeping you awake too?" I jumped at the sound of Happy's voice.

"Bad memories." I grabbed a beer. "What's your excuse?"

"Nightmare. The look in her eyes as she watched that car go up in flames." He shook his head.

"I can't believe you are scared. Ironic." I sat down.

"It was scary. I never seen anyone look like that." He let out a sigh. "I care about her a lot. I never want to see her get to that level of intensity again but I know we can't really prevent that shit."

"It's heartbreaking isn't it? To see her day to day as this quirky writer then see her in a hospital bed battling to get her mind right again." I shook my head. "You can leave now, I'm giving you a way out."

"Nah." He said. "I want to be with her, I can handle it."

"Alright." I smiled. "You ready to head to charming?"

"Yeah, I'm ready to get my hands bloody." He smirked.

"About that, keep her out of that part of your life." I frowned.

"She already knows." He looked at me. "Knows what you do too."

"You told her?" I stood up and loomed over him.

"Nah, she guessed and I shrugged." He stood up. "She's not a kid. She's always watching she can pick up on shit."

"Excuse me!" I yelled. "You treat her like a kid."

"Just because I call her little girl doesn't mean I see her as a kid or treat her like one Koz." He poked me. "I call her little girl because she's short."

"Sorry." I rubbed my face. "This lack of sleep is getting to me."

"I can tell." He set his beer down. "I'm heading out. I'll see you in Charming brother."

"Bye." I nodded. "Be safe."

"Always am." He nodded as he walked out of the front door.

#

"I could have made the drive myself." Dasha said in an irritated voice.

"Yeah because your medicine doesn't say don't drive a car." I scoffed. "Be happy you're riding in this truck and not in the bed of it. We'll be there in thirty minutes."

"I don't see why Happy hasn't returned my call." She sighed as she looked at her phone.

"He was riding down." I said. "Malia text back?"

"Yeah, she's working on some hair show for an event. Asked me to model but I told her I have brown hair." She yawned. "Dad do you think Happy will cheat?"

"Honestly? Yes." I scowled. "I'm hoping he won't though. What made you ask that though?"

"He said something about not having sex in over a week." She shrugged. "Need I say more?"

"Nope." I shook my head. "Keep it to yourself. Just no babies."

"I don't want no babies." She laughed. "The thought scares me."

"Scares me too." I exited the highway. "Clubhouse or house first?"

"Clubhouse." She answered. "House? How did you get a house so fast?"

"I got it when I made the run down here with your lap dancing partner Juice. You need to tell me anything about that?" I gave her a side glance as we passed the Welcome To Charming sign.

"We kept our clothes on." She laughed. "All innocent fun."

"Don't do it again." I frowned as we got closer to the clubhouse. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah I'm sure." She squeezed my hand. "Let's get this shit poppin'."

"Alright." I smiled.

"Don't be nervous. They'll love you." She laughed. "Just relax."

I let out a chuckle as we pulled into the compound. There were brothers standing around outside and I saw that the ring was lit up which meant someone was about to fight. "Fight night."

"Oh great." She shrugged. "I get to watch two guys beat each other up for no money."

"Money isn't everything." I shook my head as I parked. "Let's go."

She hopped out of the truck first and for the first time I took in what she was wearing. "Do I look cute?"

"No." I shook my head. "What are you wearing? I can see your tattoos?"

"Clothes dad." She shrugged.

"I'm not even going to argue with you." I waved it off. "Happy will say something when he sees you."

"Dad!" She whined and pointed to the ring. "Happy is fighting?"

"Looks that way." I walked over and took a seat on the picnic table.

"Kozik." Gemma smiled at me. "Welcome home."

"Thanks Gem." I smiled. "Brought Dasha." I gestured behind me. "Dasha, Gemma."

"Hey." Dasha smiled.

"Hi sweetheart." Gemma hugged her and I watched Dasha tense. "You'll like it here."

"I hope so." She smiled.

"You will." I rubbed her back. "Now let's watch Happy fight."

She smirked and I smiled back. She looked better than she had in the hospital and I hoped she continued to get better.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"E." I yawned. "Get off me babe."

"Your ass is like a pillow." He rasped. "I love it."

"You're a fool!" I laughed as he rubbed my ass before rolling off me.

"Glad you agreed to spendin' the night with me ruca." He leaned over and kissed me softly. "Means a lot to me."

"I can't say no to you." I smiled. "I'm hooked."

"I'm hooked too." He smiled back at me. His eyes sparkling in the light streaming through the blinds. "Come sit on my lap Malia." He sat up against the wall and I moved to straddle him.

"You really have to go on that run?" I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked at him.

"It's only for a week. I'll be back in no time. Your sis is out here now? You can chill with her." He smiled. "I'll bring you a souvenir back. A keychain or a snow globe."

"You going to Vegas or Disneyland?" I laughed. "I want you and a keychain."

"I got you." He kissed my neck. "You can stay here whenever you want."

"Alright baby." I moved my hips against him.

"I'll give you some Esai lovin' before I go." He made a quick movement and I was laying under him.

"Yeah, I need some." I smiled up at him.

#

"I'm here for Malia." A brunette walked in. Sunglasses covering half of her face. An expensive Louis Vuitton speedy hanging loosely in her hand.

"That's me." I lifted my hand. "Sit right here."

"Alright." She said as she moved quick and sat in the chair. "I need a more defining color. This brown is good but not vibrant."

"Agreed." I nodded at her in the mirror. "Just take off your sunglasses please."

She removed them with a smirk.

"Dasha!" I yelled. "Omg!"

"Malia!" She yelled back and stood up. "How dare you not recognize me off the bat bitch."

"Your hair threw me! Its so damn boring." I hugged her. "Sis!"

"Fix it for me!" She whined. "I got something for you. Your half of the insurance money."

"What?" I looked at her. "It came through for real?"

"Yes." She smiled at me. "Do my hair and we can talk over lunch about some ideas I got for my half."

"Sounds good." I nodded. "Where'd you get that speedy from?"

"I swiped it from one of the sweetbutts at the SAMCRO clubhouse." She laughed.

"You're terrible!" I smacked her. "So staying brown?"

"Yeah, maybe cut a few inches off." She shrugged. "I just need my hair not to look dull."

"I got you." I smiled and went to work fixing the mess that her store bought hair dyes had caused.

"So when can I meet Esai?" She asked as I foiled her hair.

"In a week when he comes back from work." I sighed.

"Is he in an MC?" She asked.

I swallowed. "Yeah. The Mayans."

"Omg! Malia." She clucked. "I can't believe it."

"He's treating me right." I smiled big.

"That's all that ever matters." She nodded. "I still want to meet him and I won't tell Herman. I promise."

"Thanks, he wants to meet you." I gushed. "He's amazing."

"Good." She smiled.

#

"My head is cold." Dasha said as she slid on the booth across from me.

"Your hair is amazing." I gloated. "I did a good fucking job."

"I think you should see if you can open your own spot." She said. "You've always wanted to have your own place Malia. Now you have the down payment."

"Really?" I smiled as she handed me check. "That's yours free and clear."

"Thank you mom." I looked at the check before slipping it into my bra. "She did something right."

"Yeah." She sighed. "She really did."

"How are you?" I held her hands and they felt shaky.

"Dead inside." She blinked at me, her eyes were void of the happiness her voice gave way too. "I had sex with Happy last night. I had to fake it because I didn't feel anything. I just felt dead, like nothing."

"Damn." I frowned. "You got an appointment for a psychiatrist?"

"Yeah for tomorrow." She smiled weakly. "I really hope that the Dr can help staunch this feeling of death I have within me."

"I hope the same." I gave her a quick kiss. "I want you to have that happiness back."

I smiled at her and hoped she would go back to as much of her old self as she possibly could. Because it hurt me to see her broken.


	21. Chapter 21 Insane

Dasha POV

"Come on Dasha." I looked at my reflection in the mirror. "Feel something anything." I smacked the countertop. "You can do this. You're not numb."

I shook my hair and smiled at the newly shaven undercut. I looked like a badass but I felt like a kitten. "Dasha, you got this." I frowned at my reflection. I just saw my mom staring back at me. "No, no." I shook my head.

"No." I closed my eyes and started a slow count to ten. "Go away." I whispered. "You're dead." I opened my eyes and saw myself staring back. My eyes were dull, my skin blemished from lack of sleep and face products in the hospital. My hair was the only thing about me that was shining.

"Dasha!" My dad knocked before opening the door. "We have to go, or you'll be late."

"Do I look like her?" I turned and faced him, careful to toss my hair to the side so he could see the shaven part. "Do I look like mom?"

"Yeah you do." He stepped forward. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Malia shaved it for me." I smiled. "I took a bus to see her yesterday dad. She's doing good."

"She's coming for a visit." He nodded. "This weekend, for the party."

"That's cool." I nodded. "We can go now, I'm ready."

"Alright Dasha. You doing okay today?" He walked out of the bathroom behind me.

"Nope." I shook my head. "I won't be okay for awhile."

"I love you Dasha." He kissed my head. "Never forget it. I'm here for you to when shit gets bad. Don't ever think I won't be."

I nodded tersely. "I love you too. I am going to need help to adjust, readjust, I don't know just to deal with all of this shit."

"I know, I know." He wiped the tears from my face. "I'll get you through this, I won't let you get to where your mom went. I refuse to let you go down in flames Dasha."

I nodded against his chest. "I don't want to go down like her. I don't want to look like her, or have this fucked up brain. I want to be happy dad. I just, can't I just be happy without having to go through this bullshit?"

"You can and you have. We just need to get the right medicine, doctor and you need a friendly environment where you can relax and not stress." He helped me into his truck. "This is good for you. It's small here and people know each other. If it gets overwhelming let me know and I'll get you out of here."

"I hope it is." I looked at him. "I really hope it'll be good for me."

_"Make it stop!" I yelled as I gripped both sides of my head in class. "Make it stop hurting!" _

_"Dasha!" Mrs. Miller called out to me. "What's hurting?" _

_"Oh God." I shook my head and shoved my books off my desk. "Make it fucking stop!" _

_"Dasha!" She shook me. "Dasha what's going on? Someone go get help!" _

_"No, no, no." I fell out of my chair. "I can't do this. Why is this happening to me?" _

_"Dasha is going insane!" Melissa stood above me. "You're going insane just like your mom." _

_"Everyone out!" Mrs. Miller yelled. "Now!" _

_"I can't do this." I shook my head. "No, no, no." I stood up and gripped the desk before flipping it over. _

_"Dasha calm down." She grabbed my hands and pulled them to my sides. _

_"I don't want this." I pulled free and kicked at another desk. "I can't be like this, I can't be like her. Make it fucking stop." _

_I picked up a book and threw it against the window and it shattered. The principal ran to me and grabbed me into a hold. "Miss Kozik, what is going on, are you on drugs?" _

_"No!" I laughed and dug my nails into his arms until he dropped me to the ground. "I'm fuckin' insane! Can't you hear the voices? See the monsters? Tell me I'm not crazy! Tell me you are seeing what I'm seeing!" _

_"Call 9-1-1!" He yelled. "Right fucking now." _

_"They can't help me." I laughed as I fell to the floor. "No one can help me now! I'm too far gone." _

I sat down across from the psychiatrist. The office was bigger than the one Dr. Linden had in Tacoma.

"Dasha." She started. "Tell me about yourself using one word."

"Insane." I frowned.

"Just straight to it?" She laughed. "I don't think you're insane."

"Then what am I? I have a eight day stay in a hospital that'll confirm that I am indeed insane." I looked at her. "51-50"

"You're not insane." She shook her head. "You're dealing with a disorder that can be improved with medicine and proper therapy."

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing has worked for me yet. I'm insane. Insanity can't be fixed."

"I don't think you've been given the tools or the environment to improve yourself. You were raised by a mentally ill mother." She read of her chart. "Tacoma faxed all of this, as did Texas."

"I inherited the crazy from my mom." I laughed. "Do you know she fucking set herself on fire and my home?"

"That's insane." She frowned.

"No, that was a monster trying to find peace in the chaos." I shrugged. "She had enough and fire was her answer."

"Fire won't be yours." She shook her head. "Not if I can help it."

"I like fire, but I couldn't see myself prolonging my death. I'd want it over with quick and easy." I blinked at her. "I've tried four times. Failed them all."

"I don't see that as a failure. I see it as a sign that you're not meant to die by your own hand." She reached out and rubbed my knees. "Why is it a failure to you?"

"Because I'm still here. Still causing problems for my family. Still being a burden." I wiped my face with my sleeve. "I don't want to be a burden. I want to be healthy and not deal with this disorder or illness or whatever. It's been haunting me ever since I can remember. If it wasn't me, it was my mom. That takes a toll on everyone involved."

"Your family loves you." She said. "They don't mind helping you."

"You're stupid." I spat at her. "I know they love me, I know they don't mind helping me. It's me who has the problem with it. Me who can't get right with the fact they put their lives and happiness on hold to help me through my bullshit. I just want them happy. Without having to deal with me."

"They won't be happy if you kill yourself. It'll wear on them. They will blame themselves every damn day. Asking themselves where they went wrong, or how come they didn't see the signs, what could they have done differently? Do you want them to suffer like that?" She crossed her arms.

"No, no I don't want them to suffer at all." I shook my right leg as I stared at her. "How do I make myself better though? How do I stop treading water? How do I cope when I see my mind getting worse?"

"We can add to your medicine, but not a pill. How do you feel about marijuana?" She pulled out a pad. "I can write you a prescription, get you a card. You can try it and see if it calms your mind."

"I don't want to go through life high." I sighed. "I don't want to get fat from getting the munchies either."

"Just try it. Doesn't have to be every day, can just be on bad days when you need to dull the thoughts." She said. "Try it Dasha."

"Fine." I took the paper from her. "Whatever to make me less insane."

"I'll see you same time and day next week and ever week after that." She smiled. "I look forward to this journey Dasha."

I stood. "Thanks."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

Dasha climbed into my truck. Her eyes red from crying. I gave her a hug and she smiled weakly.

"It go well?" I asked.

"She prescribed me weed." She let out a low sad laugh.

"You're in luck." I laughed. "Juice owns a shop in town. He's always smoking the good shit."

"I don't want to smoke and get fat." She shook her head and I ran a finger over the shaved spot on her head.

"You could stand to put on twenty pounds." I laughed. "You want to go home or no?"

"Is Juice at the clubhouse?" She turned the radio to a rock station.

"Yeah he was there when I left." I turned the volume down as screaming filled the cab. "Hap and Jax are there too."

"I want to talk to Juice. He gets it." She puckered her lips.

"Alright. Clubhouse it is." I smiled.

_"Mr. Kozik." The doctor treating Dasha spoke. "She's bipolar." _

_I dropped to my knees and looked up at him. "What?" _

_"I'm sorry." He said. "I fear that in time it could get worse. I'm talking to the point where she can start seeing and hearing things permanently." _

_"But for now?" I looked at him through blurry eyes. _

_"Medicine and therapy will work. As she gets older it'll need adjusting. We want to hope nothing else creeps in." He helped me up. "I'm so sorry to have to give you this news." _

_"Yeah. I'm sorry too." I rubbed my eyes on my shirt. "She's so damn young and she went off the edge in a public way." _

_"I recommend homeschooling." He nodded. "The less stress the better for her in this case." _

_"I'll talk to her about it." I smiled. "Thank you." _

"I'm proud of you." I rubbed Dasha's arm. "Proud of you for getting through high school."

"Thank you." She smiled. "You okay dad?"

"No." I answered. "But I will be."

"I'm here when you need to vent dad." She rubbed my arm. "Do you never wear sleeves here?"

"Nope." I said smugly. "Never cold here Dasha."

"I need more shorts then." She said. "I got to get a tan."

"You have one." I said. "You aiming to be dark as Happy?"

"I want to be Juice's color." She blinked at me.

"Almost there." I rolled my eyes.

"You think Happy will do my tattoo soon?" She drew a circle on her hand in black ink.

"What do you want?" I looked at her.

"I want to get stay strong on my hand." She sighed. "Sometimes I need a reminder to stay strong."

"Seems simple but a good message." I rubbed her hand. "You're stronger than you know it."

"Thanks Herman." She smiled. "I almost got yours and mom's names tattooed on me but I passed before he could ink me."

"I don't even wanna know." I frowned at her. "Home sweet home."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Home."

I watched her climb out and saunter over to Happy who hugged her and gave her a kiss. I climbed out and walked into the clubhouse. I needed a beer to calm my nerves.

"You look tired." Jax said as he handed me a beer.

"I am tired." I took a swig. "I'm worn out and need to sleep a week."

"Then sleep." He said with a smirk.

"I wish it were that easy. I'm just worried." I shook my head.

"Is Dasha here?" Juice came walking over to us tugging up his pants.

"Yeah. Outside with Hap." I said. "Disturb at your own risk."

"Not going there but I got something to give her." He smiled. "Saw it and thought of her." He pulled a backpack from behind the bar. "It's a leather journal."

"That's nice." I turned it over in my hands. "Good quality."

"But look." He opened it. "There is no great genius without some touch of madness."

"You're going to tell her she's mad?" I frowned and looked at him.

"No. I want her to know she's a great genius Kozik. Like her writing is mind blowing. It's poetic and thoughtful as much as it's heartbreaking and angry." He closed the journal. "I got her this pen too, says Bawse."

"Thoughtful." I smiled. "She'll love it all."

"I know." He laughed. "Later."

"He's in love." Jax laughed.

"I know." I frowned. "It's a sad thing to witness."

"Happy will beat his ass." He frowned.

"He will but Juice knows the drill." I shrugged. "Can't push up on a brother's lady."

"True." He laughed. "She's in good hands if you wanna catch a nap or something Koz."

"I'll try to nap." I smiled and stood. "Try to make sure shit doesn't go south with Hap and Juice. Dasha will be upset if Juice gets beat."

"I'll try." He shook my hand. "Go relax."

I walked off towards the empty room I used on the last run I was here. I walked into the room and locked the door behind me and shed my shoes and kutte and laid on the bed. Folding my hands behind my head I closed my eyes and wished myself to sleep and not have nightmares about Dasha ending up like her mother.


	22. Chapter 22 Pregnant

_**This chapter is just filler of happiness before it gets dark again for Dasha. **_

* * *

><p>Dasha POV<p>

"You got this." I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. "Just go out there and knock them dead." I checked my hair and smiled once again. The undercut looked good. The brown was shiny and vibrant.

I walked out of the bathroom and was hit with the smokiness of the bar. I pushed through to the designated area for the girls trying out to be the front of the most popular cover band in Charming. I took my seat and smoothed out the front of my jeans and straightened the bands of the bandeau I was wearing.

"You're next." The girl behind me said and I turned to look at her. "You're Dasha right?"

"Yeah." I smirked. "Yeah I am."

"I'm Cole." She smiled.

"Nice to meet you." I smiled back. "You nervous?"

"Nope. I've been auditioning for years. Seasoned at it." She laughed.

"May the best woman win." I smiled and turned back to watch the girl on stage finish up.

"We got Dasha K. coming to the stage, singing Follow Me Down by The Pretty Reckless." Brian announced as he winked at me.

I walked up on stage and took the microphone from him. I shook my arms out and let the opening of Follow Me Down pulse through me and wake me up.

"Thank you." I said as the sons faded out.

"Give it up for Dasha. She rocked it out!" Brian gave me a quick hug. "Alright we got Cole up next, singing Don't Forget by Demi Lovato."

I sat down and watched her perform. Biting back a laugh the whole time. I don't know why she was auditioning for a cover band without singing the band's songs.

"Alright ladies, we'll talk and call you when we've made a decision." Brian spoke as the bar clapped.

"You did good." I gave Cole a fake smile.

"You didn't." She hissed at me. "You were pitchy."

"Thanks for that." I nodded. "I'll practice for my next audition."

"Good because I nailed this one." She whipped her hair behind her shoulder and teetered off on heels that were too high for her.

I followed her outside the bar and found her slouched against the wall. Her head in her hands as she cried. "What's your damage?" I tapped her on the arm.

"You bitch." She swatted at me. "You're not even from here. I know everyone in this town."

"Just moved here." I looked at her. "Two days ago. My dad lives here."

"Who's your dad?" She blinked at me.

"You probably don't know him. He goes by Kozik. He's in the Sons of Anarchy." I crossed my arms and looked at her.

"I know the MC but not him." She sniffed. "Go away, I don't think it was smart of you to even audition. You won't get it."

"It was for fun." I kicked the ground with my black combat boots. "You're a real bitch. Watch your back."

"Threatening me?" She looked down T me.

"Yeah, actually I am." I stepped back away from her and pulled on my tank top. "Bye." I looked at her once more before walking back towards the house my dad was renting for us.

When I got half way there I heard the rumble of a motorcycle pull next to me and I looked. It was Jax smirking at me as he parked. "Need a ride?"

"I'm almost home." I shook my head and looked at him.

"You don't wanna hang out at the clubhouse?" He stopped in my path.

"Sure." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be so excited darlin'." He handed me his helmet and helped me snap it on. "What're you doing in this part of town anyways?"

"I went to the bar, they had auditions. Wanted to see what the band scene here was like." I shrugged.

"You audition?" He asked as he got on and I slid in behind him.

"Yeah, but I have low expectations about making the band." I wrapped my arms around him as he started up his bike. He was the third guy I was riding with. The first two being my dad and Happy.

He rode slower than Happy but faster than my dad had. His turns were smooth and low, to were my dads were slow and tight. I liked the way his hair moved with the speed. I thought the product in it would hold it I'm place but it hadn't. I had to resist the urge of pulling it back into a ponytail. He pulled into the lot of Teller-Morrow and I smirked as I saw my dad standing around with Happy and Juice.

"We've reached out destination." Jax said as he turned the bike off and I got off and watched him back in as I removed the helmet and gave it back to him.

"Thanks for the ride." I gave him a quick hug as a brunette with long hair and rocking scrubs.

"Jax." She said.

"I'm Dasha." I extended my arm out to her.

"Tara." She glared at me.

"I'm Kozik's daughter." I smiled and her face went from intense to soft as the statement. "I'll let you two talk. Thanks for the ride Jax. I appreciate it."

I hurried to my dad and stood behind him and next to Happy. "I thought she was going to hit me."

Happy chuckled. "She ain't gonna lay hands on you."

"I hope not." I sighed as he pulled me into a side hug.

"Why you dressed like that?" He slipped a hand in the low side of my tank.

"I auditioned for a sleazy rock band at the bar downtown." I frowned. "Pretty sure I didn't get it."

"Next time." He gave me a quick kiss.

"Hope so." I smiled up at him.

"You'll get it." He rubbed my side. "You're talented."

"Thanks." I grabbed his hands. "I got something to show you later." I winked at him. "I know you two got a run to do soon."

"I hope what you're showing him is PG Dasha." My dad turned around and looked at us.

"It is." I smiled. "Tattoo designs dad."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright. You okay today?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm feeling a little better than yesterday or all the days before that."

"Good. My phone's on. Call if you need me." He kissed my head. "We're heading out. Try to stay out of trouble."

"Yeah. I won't get I'm trouble." I smiled. "Promise."

#

I felt myself swimming in a pool of grey as I waited for my dad to get back to the clubhouse. Just as quickly as the happiness came this morning the depression and paranoia replaced it. I sat on the small bed in the empty dorm room Gemma said I could use to sleep it off. Instead of sleeping, I was attempting to pull myself out of the grey.

"Dasha. You're scaring me." Malia's voice was cracking and in my ear. "Dasha stop this."

I shook free from my thought. "What? What's wrong?"

"You were talking to yourself." She looked up at me. "You were talking to yourself like mom does when she has bad nights. Are you sick like she is Dasha?"

I shook my head. "Yeah, Malia, I'm sick like her."

She threw herself into my arms. "Dasha. I will fix you! I will. I promise."

"Reality check." I whispered. "You can do this Dasha." I heard my phone ring and then stop. "Text message."

I looked at the screen. "You made the band. Congratulations Dasha K." I smiled at the message and quickly replied with emojis and a request to know when practice would start.

"Hey." Happy rasped as Happy steppes inside. "You good?"

I smiled. "Yeah." I rolled my eyes at how the grey just faded away so quickly. "I made that band."

"I knew you would." He sat down and pulled me onto his lap. "What did you want to show me?"

"Here?" I looked around. "Not how I imagined this going."

"I can take you back to your place. Your dad is drinking already, doubt he'll be able to ride home." He brushed my hair off my neck and placed a gentle kiss. "I want to know what you wanna show me."

"I want to show you." I kissed his jawline. "Take me home then Happy."

"You sure?" He ran his hands up and down my sides. The roughness of his hands sending shockwaves through me.

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'm sure."

"Let's go." He helped me to my feet before he stood. I tucked my phone into my jeans front pocket and let him pull me out of the room. I held his left hand with both of mine as we walked down the hallway only to be stopped by a woman dressed in a trashy too tight black dress.

"Happy." She tried to coo sexily. "I've been looking for you."

"Not now." He started to move around her when she caught his kutte with a bony hand.

"You're gonna wanna hear this." She smirked. "I'm pregnant and I'm positive it's yours."

I dropped his hand and stared at him before looking at her. "I'm going to leave you two alone." I backed away from Happy and he grabbed my hand.

"Dasha." He rasped. "Don't be like this babe." He backed me against the wall. "She's lying. It can't be mine."

"I want to leave." I didn't look at him. "Is Juice here?"

"He's been drinking." He said. "Dasha babe, look at me."

I shook my head. "Is Gemma here?"

"Yeah." He said. "Babe, don't be mad at me. She was before you."

I looked at him. "I'm not mad. I'm sad. I want to leave."

"Let me take you." He rubbed my tears away. "I won't stay, I'll drop you off and leave."

"Alright." I nodded. "Alright."

"I'll deal with you later." He said to the woman. "Just let me get her home."

"Bye." She said. "Don't let him get you knocked up sweetheart, this life is far from glamorous."

I looked at her. "Bye." Was all I said to her.

We managed to get out of the clubhouse without anyone stopping or asking is what was wrong. I was glad about it. Happy strapped his helmet on my head and got on his bike, I slipped on behind him and held on. Not as tight as I should have but my grip would get the job done as he made the quick ride to my house.

"Dasha." He grabbed my hand as I climbed off his bike. "I can't let you be home alone and sad. I just really can't let that shit happen."

I sighed. "You can sleep on the sofa or in the guest bedroom."

"Alright." He rubbed my knuckles. "I'm sorry she did that shit in front of you. She should have handled it differently."

I unlocked the front door and turned on all the lights. "It is what it is." I shrugged and kicked off my boots.

"No." He grabbed me. "Dasha, talk to me. Don't shut down on me, just let's talk through this, if not now then later."

"She's pregnant. If it's yours it'll change everything between us. You won't even have time to hangout with me." I pushed him away.

"It may not even be my kid!" He yelled. "Come on Dasha, please let me just work shit out and figure out what's happening over there. I just want us to be together. You and me. I'm dedicated to you."

"Okay." I let him hug me. "I want us too Happy. I really do. I just don't know."

"You're going to be good?" He asked me. "I'm sorry but I'll figure it out. I'll settle it. Don't worry about it babe."

"Eventually." I spoke against his chest. I closed my eyes and let the thoughts of him possibly being a dad and us ending consume me. It was going to be a long ass night.


	23. Chapter 23 I Love You

Kozik POV

"I might be a dad." Happy said as he handed me a beer.

I stood up from my seat and backed him into a wall. "What did you just fucking say Hap?"

"I might be a dad." He shook his head. "Don't fuckin' worry. It ain't with Dasha. Some croweater. Cornered us yesterday and blurted it out. Now Dasha won't even talk to me."

"Which bitch?" I asked as I looked around the giant clubhouse. My anger boiling. The last thing I needed was for Dasha to withdraw from the world. The last thing she needed was to be left alone with thoughts of her boyfriend becoming a dad to a kid that wasn't hers.

"That one." He pointed to a sleazy looking blonde. "She was before me and Dasha got serious."

"You prepared for shit to go south if you are the dad and Dasha isn't cool with it?" I looked at him.

"No." He frowned. "Don't really want to lose Dasha. I care to much about her stubborn ass."

I smiled to myself. "She's got you wrecked."

"So be it." He shrugged. "Ain't gonna let me becoming a dad ruin shit with me and her."

"How you gonna fix it?" I looked over at him as I saw the wheels turning in his head.

"Spend time with her." He said. "Try to get into the music she likes. She made that band she auditioned for."

"Right on." I nodded my head. "Just hope she can handle it. The whole band scene. Don't need her ass doing drugs or drinking."

"I won't let her." He smirked. "I know one of the guys in the band. He'll keep an eye on her."

"You get her in the band?" I set my beer down to smack him.

"Nope. That was all her. Didn't know who the band was until this morning." He turned his attention to the sleazy blonde. "Is she fucking drinking?"

"Hap, relax." I grabbed his arm but he shrugged me off.

"You're pregnant but you're drinking this shit?" He snatched the beer from her hands.

"Oh, so you do care now?" She looked at Happy. "Where's your little jailbait girlfriend? She have preschool today Happy?"

"First off bitch, don't talk about Dasha like that or you and I will have problems." He growled and she straightened up. "Secondly go back home, you're pregnant you don't need to be here."

"OK." Was all she replied as she teetered off out of the clubhouse.

"Dumb bitch." He shook his head. "Glad Dasha is independent and don't let no man boss her like that."

"Yeah." I scoffed. "Thank God she's independent."

"Dad!" Dasha came running in the clubhouse.

"What's wrong?" I grabbed a hold of her and looked at her.

"Nothing." She shrugged me off. "Can I get the keys to Bawse back now? I really hate walking everywhere."

"Why not catch a taxi or have Happy give you a lift?" I looked down at her.

"I'm not talking to him…" She crossed her arms and gave him a sideways glance.

"See what I mean?" Happy looked at me then to Dasha.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She poked Happy in the chest. "Am I supposed to be excited for you?"

"No." He grabbed her. "You can be mad just don't hold shit in and talk to me about it."

"Well, I think you're stupid." She said. "I'm not having sex with you, because who knows what the fuck you caught from her. She could have given you herpes or some shit."

"You still could have got them too, we did kiss." He glared down at her. "You finished yet little girl?"

"No." She shook her head. "Can't you make her like get rid of it?"

I choked on my beer. "D, you can't say that shit."

"It's how I feel." She blinked up at me. "I'm just being honest. Is Juice here?"

"No." I said. "He's at his place."

"He has a house?" She pulled her journal from her backpack. "That's cool. What's the address?"

"No." He said. "You ain't leaving here until we talk shit out Dasha. I'm serious about this."

Dasha and I both gave him a shocked look and he frowned.

"Fine." She stuffed her journal back into her bag and let him walk her off towards the back dorm rooms.

I rolled my eyes and walked outside. Sitting on the picnic tables I let my mind wander to a simpler time. Where the only thing I had to worry about with Dasha was which little boy she was giving a hard time in kindergarten. There were a lot if calls from her principal.

"What you thinking of?" Gemma sat down next to me. A cigarette dangling from her too thin lips.

"Dasha." I sighed. "How she was always fucking with boys in school. She was this tormentor. She can love but she shuts down when someone tries to love her. I don't know where she gets that shit from. I see it with Hap, he cares and she does this immature I'm not talking to you bullshit because you are dumb."

She laughed. "She's twenty three and immature. She's going to get over Hap, it'll wreck him but she'll be good."

I nodded. "I don't want to see him wrecked."

She scoffed. "More worried about him than her. That's a first."

I laughed. "I know Dasha. She's this ex stripper who's got more issues than a magazine stand. That's her though. Her intentions are good but she's not the type to settle down and shit."

"How do you know?" She looked at me.

"Because she's me. She doesn't realize it but she has my personality. She's just clouded by the fact she has her mom's looks and wonky brain." I set my beer down. "I married Jenn because she was pregnant, left because I just couldn't love her the way she loved me."

"You stuck around though." She rubbed my back. "Stayed with her through all the crazy. You were in love with her. Hap is in love with Dasha. Maybe she'll be in love with him too. She just needs to realize it."

"See, that's the problem. I think she's with the wrong son." I looked at my boots and slyly watched Juice pull onto the lot.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"You gonna talk to me now?" Happy asked from where he was perched on the wooden desk.

"Maybe." I rolled my eyes. "I have nothing to say that I haven't already said. How would you feel it the roles were switched up?"

He opened his mouth to talk but then shut it back. He was probably thinking of the smartest way to get out of this conversation he had forced me into having with him. His eyes grew dark and his jaw clenched tight. "Dasha."

"Happy." I crossed my arms and looked at him.

"This pregnancy shit doesn't change shit between us little girl. We don't even know what the fuck is going to happen." He stood and walked over to me. "Dasha you want out, then this is your chance to get out. Just fuckin' let me know. I'm a man, I can handle it. Just no silent treatment bullshit."

"I don't want out." I said. "I love you Happy." I clamped a hand over my mouth as soon as I said it. I looked up to him. A smile was on his face as he tugged me up from my seated position.

"I love you too." He gave me a quick kiss and slap on my ass. "You sticking by me then little girl?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Good." He kissed me hard and squeezed my hip.

"I'm not fucking you here." I pushed away from him. "Not when this is the place you got that bitch pregnant."

"You're mad?" He looked at me. "How many guys have you been with?"

"Three." I said. "I've been with more girls then men."

"Only three?" He blinked at me and rubbed the back of his neck. "Jesus."

"What?" I looked at him. My hands growing clammy as I waited for him to answer. "You thought I got around because I was a stripper?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Sorry."

"It's cool." I rolled my eyes.

"Does three count me too?" He wrapped his heavy arms around my waist.

"Yup." I frowned. "Too inexperienced for you Happy?"

"No." He smirked. "You actually fuck better than the seasoned sluts around this place."

"Whatever." I shrugged. "I got band practice to tonight."

"You sound like a nerd." He laughed. "I got club shit. The prospect will take you to and from. Don't back talk either. Shit ain't up for discussion."

"Alright." I nodded.

"You okay?" He brushed his lips over mine.

"I wish everyone would stop asking that shit. No I'm not okay won't ever be." I sighed. "I'm living though so I really can't complain about much."

"Dasha you went through a lot of shit recently. It's normal for you not to be okay." He hugged me. "I get it."

I just relished the feeling of being in his arms. I felt safe. I felt good. Hell I felt almost normal. Then the nagging in the back of my brain would pick up. Reminding me that I wasn't normal. That I would never be normal. I'd never know what it's like to have a completely in sync brain.

"You sure you want this?" I looked up at him. "Sure you want to be with me? I don't want you being like my dad. In for almost the whole time then leaving. I don't want that in and out bullshit "

"I'm in it. If I wasn't, shit I wouldn't have stuck through your ordeal. Would have fuckin' left." He rubbed my back. "I gotta go, I'll see you later."

"Bye babe." I smiled. "Be safe."

#

"Dasha!" Brian pulled me into a huge ass hug. I felt the air leave my lungs in a large whoosh before he set me down to my feet. "Welcome to your first practice doll."

"Thanks." I choked out. "I can't wait to jump into this."

"How long you been singing?" He sat on a chair and looked at me. His blue eyes scanning my face.

"Since six if you count just singing for fun and in the shower and the car." I smiled and turned a chair around to look at him. "Never done it in a band. A few talent shows, a pageant or two."

"Wow seriously!" He raked a hand through his greasy blonde hair. "That's fucking insane! Your voice was major during your audition. Assumed you were professional."

"Professional shower singer." I laughed.

He smirked. "Here's the set list for the upcoming charity event, we always perform there. The Sons of Anarchy host it. You know them?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "My dad is a Son."

"No fucking way!" His mouth stayed open.

"Yeah, Kozik. Big goofy blonde one. Never has sleeves on." I ran a finger self consciously over my lip.

"Him?" He frowned. "He's always tormenting the town when he's visiting."

"Sounds about right." I laughed. "Dasha Kozik. Prefer Dasha or D."

"You don't want a rocker persona? New name?" He blinked at me.

I pursed my lips and moved them from side to side as I thought about it. It would be fuckin' bad ass to have an alter ego. One without my mental infliction. "Gypsy. I think I want my persona to be a sleazy gypsy."

"I dig it." He stood. "Let's get this shit going Gypsy."

"Yeah." I smiled and stood, following him to the stage. It was going to be a good practice, I felt it deep down inside that this band was the right move for me. It was a comfort. A family outside of the family I already have.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Esai." I whispered against his ear as he talked on the phone. "I want you."

He smirked at me and rubbed my lower back. He pulled me onto his lap by my waist and rolled his eyes. Soon his phone was set on the coffee table as he gave me all his attention.

"How was your run?" I looked down into his eyes.

"Good." He nodded. "But ran into some shit with the Sons."

"No good." I frowned. "Why don't you guys get along anyways? You're so close to each other? That the problem?"

"I don't really know, its old school shit between my dad and the president of Sons. Jax." He shook his head.

"I met him." I sighed. "He has a crush on my sister."

"You met the mother charter?" He looked at me with serious expression as I slid off his lap.

"I guess so." I shrugged. "I met the Charming boys, so if that's the mother charter then I did."

"That's them." He rubbed my legs. "You lettin' me meet your pops?"

"Yeah. If you want, we can go to the charity event. It's public so if shit goes bad we can blend into the crowd." I laughed.

"Sure." He nodded. "I'm down for that ruca."

"Yay." I hugged him. "You wanna go grab dinner or something?"

"I wanna have you before we go out." He kissed my shoulders. "That cool with you?"

"Yeah it is."

#

"That dinner was good." I smiled as Esai and I strolled down the sidewalk.

"I told you it would be." He boasted. "I ain't ever wrong."

"I believe that." I chuckled. "Where are we going now?"

"Desert." He smiled. "A small hide away spot."

"I want red velvet." I kissed his cheek.

"Anythin' for you." He turned us towards the shop. "They got the best cupcakes. Any flavor you could imagine they probably got it."

"Ugh." I groaned. "I'm getting fat just thinking about it."

"You eat a lot of junk." He pulled open the door to the bakery. "You're still slim babe."

"For now." I inhaled the smell of fresh baked goods. "This place is cute." I looked over the displays. "That is what o need to try." I pointed to a caramel apple cupcake.

"Hola Esai." The older woman behind the counter spoke.

"'Ey ma." He smiled. "This is Malia."

I smiled at the woman before looking at Esai. "Hello."

"You're gorgeous." She came around the corner and hugged me. "I'm Lena."

"Nice to meet you Lena." I looked at her.

"Not very often my son brings a woman here to meet me. You must be special." She stepped back behind the counter. "Pick out anything sweetie."

"I want to try to the caramel apple cupcake and that one right there, the oozing red velvet cupcake." I smiled.

"Bout damn time you're with a woman who actually likes to eat Esai. Did he feed you dinner first?" She placed the cupcakes on a plate.

"Yeah ma. I fed her before we came here." He shook his head. "Don't scare her off."

"I'm just happy she eats! The last woman he brought, she asked for a sugar free cupcake." She shook her head. "So high maintenance she was."

I swallowed my bite of cupcake. "Who even eats sugar free deserts on purpose?" I wrinkled up my nose. "This is amazing! I need to let my sister try one. She's a sweet freak."

"I'll send some with you." She rubbed my hand. "Esai you want to get off that damn phone and entertain your woman? I raised you better than that."

"Ma." He slipped the phone into his Kutte. "I had to write dad back. Needed some address."

"Don't let him get away with that shit. Club business or not. When he's on a date with you his phone stays away." She looked at me. "You got that?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'll check him on it."

"Ma." He rasped. "Don't corrupt her. She's perfect."

"Not corrupting her Esai." She crossed her arms. "Educating her on your ways and how to deal with them."

I smiled at their back and forth banter it was cute. I just couldn't believe we were meeting each other's family before we even exchanged I love yous.

"I'm learning a lot." I finished off my second cupcake. "I'm coming here all the time for my desserts now. That oozing cupcake was to die for."

"Malia, tell me about yourself. You don't look like you're from here." She smiled at me from across the small metal table.

"I'm from Texas, I'm a hair stylist, and irl hope to open my own spot in the next year and a half." I smiled.

"Any siblings?" She tapped the table top with her short red nails.

"An older sister. Her name is Dasha." I mused.

"Mom? Dad?" She was asking all the tough questions right off the bat.

"My mom died a couple months ago. My dad he's around. He travels a lot." I frowned. "It works though, I'm more of an independent person."

"Aw." She hugged me again. "I'm sorry about your mom."

"Yeah, me too." I nodded slowly. "I always carry her around with me though."

"That's good." She stood. "Let me get those cupcakes for you. Don't be a stranger. I'd love to have lunch or something with you."

"Sounds good." I smiled.

"She likes you." Esai gave me a kiss that was too inappropriate to share in front of his mom. "That's rare."

"I like her." I nodded. "She's a cool mom babe."

"Yeah I am." She handed me a plastic container of cupcakes. "Come back anytime for more."

"I will." I smiled and stood. Giving her another hug. "Take care Lena."

"You too Malia." She smiled and hugged Esai. "Be good to this one."

"Ma, don't even trip. Ain't gonna treat my ruca bad. She's amazing to me, so I'm amazing to her." He held my hand. "Let's go before she starts talking about marriage. Bye ma."

"Bye." She said as we walked out.

"You should have told me I was going to meet her. I would have worn something better." I said as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"If I did you wouldn't have been yourself babe." He rubbed my hip softly. "I like you relaxed n like this."

"Yeah." I smiled. "I hope my dad likes you."

"Yeah me too." He nuzzled against my neck. "I don't think he will though, if he knows me or my dad he'll automatically hate me."

"Don't matter." I shrugged. "I like you and will stay with you."

* * *

><p><em>AN: yeah this story is fun to write, hard touchy subject. Thanks for the review soa-addict, I think it's pretty awesome as well. Probably doesn't have more reviews because it's different. Oh well, I know I have loyal readers who enjoy it whether they review it or not. (: _


	24. Chapter 24 Jealous

Dasha POV

I stood on the stage in the dingy bar I had auditioned at a few days back. A microphone in hand as I got the blocking right for the set we are performing at some charity event. I cringed at the failed attempt at getting involved back in Tacoma. I bobbed my head as the drums started and the guitars and bass kicked in.

"My name is Gypsy and we are The Pretty Recluses." I rasped into the microphone my voice changing from soft to rough as I got the melodies right.

"Gypsy." Brian laughed. "Just loosen up. Don't be serious. We're performing for Charming not anyone famous."

"I'm just feeling it out." I looked at him. "Seeing what will do the song the most justice."

"We're closing with Sweet Things." He said. "I'll be singing with you. Then we'll do that creepy screaming shit in it too."

"So it'll be Going to Hell, Heaven Knows, and Sweet Things." I crossed the other two songs off the set list. "Got it. I can't wait for everyone to meet Gypsy."

"She's a badass." Kyle nodded at me. "We're lucky to have landed you."

"Nah, I'm lucky you guys picked me." I set the microphone aside. "This is a fun change for me. A girl from Texas fronting a cover band in Cali. American dream."

"Shouldn't you be crooning some sad country song?" Adam looked at me from behind his drum kit.

"Oh darlin' I can croon a sad song. Maybe about a cheater. Some Carrie Underwood." I laughed. "But I'm not sad right now. I'm happy."

"You should do the contest at the event. Winner gets $500 and a feature in the local paper." He laughed. "Theme is country music."

"Oh shit. Count me in." I jumped off the stage.

"You drinking?" Kyle asked as he brought a round of shots.

"Nah, I'm cool. Thanks though." I took a seat. "What made you guys want to cover the Pretty Reckless?"

"My sister." Adam smirked. "She was the singer, we had fun, gets us away from our day jobs for a few hours a week so why the fuck not? Then she got pregnant and dipped. For sure thought we were going to have to pick Cole."

"She was rude." I frowned. "I think she was trying to fuck with my head right before I went on but I still knocked it out."

"Fuck yeah." They all said at the same time. "Welcome to the Realm."

"Glad to be here." I chuckled. "The Realm is dope."

"Your dad really a Son?" Adam asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "So is my boyfriend, which makes my dad mad."

He laughed. "Let me guess, you have fallen for Prince Charming?"

"Who?" I blinked at them.

"Jax." He said.

"Oh, no." I shook my head. "Him and I are friends. I'm with the scary one, tall, inked, always looks like he's going to kill at any moment."

"Happy?" Brian looked at me. "He's too old for you!"

"So I'm told!" I glared at him. "It is what it is."

"He doesn't scare you?" He asked. "He scares us and we know him."

"Nope." I shook my head. "I'm not smart enough to be scared I guess."

"Nope." He laughed. "I wouldn't want to run into him in a dark alley."

"Pussies!" I yelled. "You guys go to any clubhouse parties?"

"Nope." Adam said.

"One's coming up, you guys can come as my guest. I hear they're real ragers. Booze and boobs." I pulled out my phone and snapped a selfie for my Instagram.

"Count us in. Why are you taking a selfie?" Kyle asked.

"Because I need my followers to know I'm doing dope shit." I laughed. "Can't let them down."

"How many followers do you have?" Paul finally spoke up.

"Hmm." I looked at my profile. "Only twelve thousand."

"That's more then all of us guys put together." He shook his head. "You should do a promo for the band one of these days."

"I'm down. I actually am shooting for this Inked Women magazine." I rubbed my arms. "Then got some hair show event with my sister."

"Dope. Gotta mention us in the interview for sure." He relaxed into his chair.

"Oh most def." I stood. "I gotta head out, I got some shit to handle."

"Later gator." Brian said. "Don't forget we want to see your best Carrie Underwood at the event."

"I won't forget. I'll come guitar in hand." I laughed. "Peace y'all."

#

"Oh my God." I rolled my eyes as I sat in the waiting room at the Psychiatrist's office. My dad was seated to my left. The doctor asked to speak with the best of us and he stubbornly obliged the request.

"What?" He looked over at me.

"This pair of sneakers I've been dying to buy for months now is on sale!" I held the phone to his face. "Bout to buy them."

"Here I thought it was something serious." He laughed. "Glad you're feeling happy."

"Yeah me too. These days are rare." I looked at the door as the Dr Walked in. "Watch she suggest you smoke weed too."

"Unlike you, I wouldn't object and I wouldn't mind bending her over her desk to look at her credentials." He bit back a laugh.

"Pervert." I whispered as I stood up.

"Follow me back." She gestured and I did and soon I felt my dad behind me too. "Mr. Kozik."

"Please, call me Kozik." He shook her hand.

"We have a lot to talk about." She sat down across from us. "Dasha you start it off. What positive thing happened this week?"

"I got the lead in a sleazy rock band." I smiled. "I'm the singer, my persona is named Gypsy."

"How about you Kozik?" She looked at him. "Anything positive?"

"Oh hell yeah. I shared a good moment with D." He smiled. "Memories of this doll I had gotten for her when she was little."

"Negative moments?" She asked as she jotted down notes.

"My boyfriend might be having a kid with this blonde slut." I huffed.

"How does that make you feel?" She stared at me.

"Pissed off. My mom always said kids change relationships either for the better or the worst. I don't want him to have a kid." I crossed my arms and my legs and blinked at her. "It'd be a goddamn mess."

"And you Kozik?" She gave him a look over her glasses.

"Let's see, I had a few. My negative moment would have to be when her boyfriend told me he might be a dad, I was pissed. Slammed him into the wall, but then he said it wasn't Dasha who was pregnant then I got more upset because I was like how is Dasha going to deal with it? Like if she gets mad and withdraws herself from the world that wouldn't sit right with me." He sighed and rubbed my hand.

"How does it make you feel hearing that Dasha?" She set her notebook aside and looked at me.

"It makes me feel loved. I mean I never really thought too much about how he thought about how shit would affect me. You know?" I smiled at him. "I know he cares but I didn't know he thought about it when things popped up. My dad and I don't communicate all that well, never have."

"We did until Malia came around. I used to talk to you all the time. Granted you were two and couldn't talk all that well but you always listened to my shit. That's why you always said the word shit and your mom used to get bent out of shape about it." He laughed. "Dasha is my weird child. She's always been weird. It's what makes her Dasha."

"Her name is unique." She smiled. "How'd you pick it?"

"I was reading some book, came across it. It sounded pretty, and it meant Gift from God or God's gift." He smiled. "So we named her Dasha. Even though she swears the nurse wrote the S like a D and she was supposed to be Sasha."

I laughed. "Grandma told me that's what happened."

"She's a drunken liar." He scoffed.

"I know." I smirked. "What other things do we have to discuss?"

"What made your relationship rocky?" She asked.

"Oh." I looked at him. "He didn't think I was his daughter at one point. He made me call him sir. So when I get into weird mindsets now or I see him getting upset I call him sir."

"That wasn't my proudest moment. I was stupid." He said. "I know that's no real excuse but still. I feel bad about it still. Like she's mine, she has my stubborn personality. Just looks like her mom and has her mom's weird brain."

"Dasha do you feel like you share traits with him?" She looked between us.

I was getting annoyed that she kept changing subjects so quickly. "Sometimes, I don't know but I think my personality is unique to who I am. He's an old man who thinks he's my age."

"I am your age at heart." He stood up. "See this, I don't look my age Dasha. I got all the coeds going crazy."

"See!" I whined. "He's outrageous."

"I will keep thrusting these hips until I die or break a hip. Whatever comes first." He moved his hips back and forth.

"Herman." I tugged on his shirt. "Sit the fuck down."

"Herman?" She looked at me.

"Only I can call him that." I laughed. "His parents hated him, so they named him Herman."

"They loved me." He laughed.

"Anything else you feel like you need to get out in the open?" She looked at me and then at him.

"I have some shit to share but I like being a free person." I sighed.

"This is a safe place." She urged. "Go ahead and share."

"My mom had this skeezy ass boyfriend. His name was Robby or Bobby I couldn't understand him. He had one of those weird thick accents from like the bayous of Louisiana." I shook my head. "He was a true pervert."

"Did he fucking touch you Dasha?" My dad looked at me. Anger flashing in his baby blue eyes. "Did he?"

"No." I shook my head. "Before you get angry he didn't touch Malia either. He just always said inappropriate shit. Anyways one day I was working, he stopped by and he was already drunk. He cornered me and took my money, I got upset. So I got in my car and I ran his ass over. He didn't die though. Never came around again."

"Wow." She blinked at me. "It was just money, why risk going to jail?"

"Because it was my money. I was fucking tired of him and my mom taking the money I worked hard for. Given I was dancing on a pole but still I worked for it. I had college expenses. Do you realize that some books are two hundred a piece. So I was damned if I was going to let them take my money anymore. So I used to split it up. Keep a larger amount close to me. In the door panels of my car." I smirked.

"Did he help?" She gestured to my dad who was glaring at her.

"Yeah." I smiled. "He did a lot. Sent money, but she spent it on her drug habit and her boyfriend. Never on shit it should have been spent on. So I took up dancing. I don't wanna talk about this shit anymore. I'm getting too upset."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

Therapy with Dasha did nothing more but upset me. It made me realize there was a whole side of her I didn't know. Just like me she had two lives. The one she showed to me and the one she kept hidden away. I just hoped she was having a new life and not keeping anything from me now.

"Dad." She whispered. "What're you doing?"

"Drinking." I held up the bottle of whiskey.

"Alright." She frowned. "Can you not do that?"

"Drink?" I looked at her and set the bottle down. "Why?"

"Because being sober is good. You replaced drugs with alcohol." She swiped the bottle. She did have a valid point. I went from one extreme to another one.

"It relaxes me." I took the bottle back. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She shrugged. "Maybe I'll start hitting the bottle too."

"No." I shook my head. "I'll cut back. You can't drink."

"I can drink, I just choose not to." She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm thinking of going back to a wild color. Maybe dusty rose and blonde."

"Oh lord." I downed my whiskey.

"Hap, said he liked the colorful hair on me." She smiled. "He's such an asshole but a sweetheart too."

"Sweetheart." I scoffed. "Don't let him hear you calling him that."

"I love him dad." She sighed. "Like a whole lot. It's scary. It's so scary."

"Jesus." I rubbed my face. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"No." She hugged me. "I'm trying to learn how to love properly and maybe get loved back in return."

"You excited to perform with your band at the event?" I looked at her.

"Yes." She smiled. "I'm even doing that country competition. Going from rock to country. That ought to be a sight for sore eyes."

"Your sister, she's bringing her boyfriend to meet me." I rubbed my eyes. "Who would have thought she would have a boyfriend."

"Me! I told her dick was better than pussy." She laughed. "He's going to be handsome, I already know. You'll the him but me and Malia will love him."

"Shut up." I laughed. "Just be on my side."

"Daddy, let her be happy. She obviously has strong feelings if she wants you to meet him. So give him a chance." She blinked at me. "Get me a dog too. I really want a puppy!"

"Shop for one." I looked around the house. It would be good for her to have a dog in here. So when I go on runs she's not lonely.

#

"Kozik and Hap." Jax spoke. "You two got security detail at the event."

"That's fine." I said. "I don't mind bouncing out idiots."

"Me either." Happy smirked. "Could use a few fights."

"Bobby, he's entering the country sing off thing." Jax said. "We gotta all be there rooting for him."

"My daughter is entering that." I bragged. "Gonna give you a run for your money Elvis."

"I'm taking it home." Bobby smirked. "Easy pay day."

"We'll see." I laughed. "My money is on Dasha."

"We will see." He laughed. "If your girl beats me I will wear a dress for a day."

"Deal." I shook his hand. "I gotta make sure she wins for sure now. Make her practice."

"For club business though, we got a run up to Nevada. We may encounter some Mayans." Jax said. "That'll take place after the event though. Kids first."

"Sounds good." I nodded.

"Gemma made chili so help yourselves." He said.

I got up and walked out of chapel with Happy. We took seats at the bar and the blonde behind the bar served us our usual drinks.

"How's your situation?" I looked at Happy and he grimaced.

"That blonde, she don't fuckin' listen. Always back talkin'. I want to slap the shit out of her." He sighed.

"Speaking of the devil." I nudged him as she came walking into the clubhouse.

"See. Tell her to stay her ass home and she can't even do that shit." He rolled his eyes as she came over.

"Hap." She said. Her voice was nasally and annoying.

"What?" He looked at her.

"I got kicked out." She pouted.

"Stay in my room, you know where it's at." He crooked his thumb towards the hallway and she walked off.

"Dasha is going to hate that shit." I laughed.

"I know but I always sleep at her place anyways." He shrugged.

"I never even hear you enter the house." I frowned.

"I use the side door." He smirked. "She never locks it."

"I'll start locking it." I laugh. "Go take care of your possible baby mama."

"No." He crossed his arm. "I told Dasha I'd help her get a puppy."

"Thank God." I sighed. "I thought I was going to have to suffer through that whole ordeal."

"You're stupid. You know she's easy to deal with if you just ask her shit." He stood up. "I'm going to get her the biggest dog the place has."

I rolled my eyes and set my glass down as I watched Happy's back. Part of me was relieved that I wasn't the one going dog shopping but the other half was a little bit jealous.

* * *

><p>AN: thank you for the reviews.

TheIrishShipperholic it means a lot to hear you say you're blown away by the writing. I myself get the sniffles when I write some of these moments for the Koziks.

MissKrissy I think you'll love what happens with the croweater situation when that comes back in a few chapters.

Guest, I agree with you. Dasha and Happy are great together. I don't see her with Juice really, although they tend to have a flirty friendship


	25. Chapter 25 Kill

Malia POV

I changed my outfit twice before deciding on jeans and a tank top. Esai he was in his usual get up, jeans, a shirt and cowboy boots. The only thing missing was his Kutte. He opted out of wearing it to show respect for the Sons, since he was going into their territory.

"I'm nervous." He rasped.

"Me too." I sighed. "My sister will accept you no matter what. She's independent minded."

"That's good but I want your pops to at least tolerate me." He frowned. "I look good right?"

"Handsome." I gave him a quick peck on his lips and wiped them clean of my red lipstick.

"You look good." He rubbed his hands over my arms. "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "Yeah, let's go before we both chicken out."

He chuckled. "I'm an outlaw but I'm scared as hell to meet your family."

"I think it's normal." I smiled as we left his house and walked to his bike. "We're taking the bike?"

"Yeah." He handed me my helmet. "It's nice out babe."

"It really is." I buckled the helmet and slid on behind him and held on as he took off towards Charming. I took time to attempt to enjoy the scenery leading into Charming. My riding glasses protecting my blue eyes from dust kick up and debris. Esai rode past the Welcoming to Charming sign and started to slow down as he approached the fairgrounds that the event was being held at. I tapped him on the side and pointed towards a convertible Mustang with Texas plates.

"Welcome to Charming." He smiled as he backed into the spot next to the Mustang.

"This is my sister's car." I smiled. "I could pick it out anywhere."

"Its clean." He nodded.

I leaned on the car and triggered the alarm and within seconds Dasha was rushing towards us. Her hair catching in the breeze.

"Malia!" She jumped on me. "Omg! You're here!"

I held her away and took in her attire. Her eyes were smudged with dark eyeliner and her lips were painted a deep red color. Her nose was pierced. The black metal hoop looked good on her. Her jeans were ripped, her tank top was cut low, giving me a glimpse of a lacy red bralette. "You look different."

"Thanks." She smiled. "It's my rock persona. Her name is Gypsy, she has daddy issues and a mean streak."

"Sounds about right." I laughed. "This is Esai."

"Hey." She pulled him into a hug and gave him a peck on the cheek. Her lipstick didn't leave any time of mark.

"Hey." He smiled. "Where's your colorful hair?"

"I thought I would try something new." She shrugged. "You guys going to watch me perform?"

"Hell yeah." I nodded. "Where's dad?"

"He's around him and Hap are security." She rubbed her neck. "I can grab him if you guys want. I got about five minutes to spare before I go on."

"Yeah do that." I nodded. Realizing it was better to get the meeting over and out of the way. That way if it went south we could escape now.

"Alright." She jogged away from us.

"Nervous." Esai wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck. "You okay ruca?"

"No." I shook my head as I saw Dasha return with our dad in tow. His eyes locking in on me from the distance. "This is bad."

"Malia." He looked from me to Esai then back at me. "This your boyfriend?"

"Yes dad." I smiled up at the blonde man.

"I'm Esai." Esai extended his arm but my dad made no move to shake it.

"I know who you are. I'm giving my daughter a moment to explain why she brought you here." He looked at me. "Malia, explain."

"He's my boyfriend." I said. "I brought him to meet you dad."

"Malia he's a Mayan!" He boomed. "I'm not letting you date Esai Alvarez."

"I'm an adult, I don't need your permission to date him." I crossed my arms and glared up at him.

"No." He shook his head. "You're not dating an enemy of my club."

"He's not my enemy. He's my boyfriend. I care about him." I spoke. "Regardless, I'm staying with him."

"With all due respect sir." Esai started. "I really care about Malia, if I didn't then I wouldn't be standing here with her now. I want to be with her."

"No." He shook his head. "You get away from my daughter. I don't want you with her."

"Whoa." Dasha said. "Dad, he makes her happy, let them stay together."

"Dasha, go with your band. Stay out of this." He looked at her. "Go sing."

"I'll be back." She glared at him. "Sorry guys." She hugged me tightly.

"Dad." I said. "Don't make a big scene, let's go watch Dasha."

"He needs to leave." He said through gritted teeth. "Now."

"If he leaves, I leave." I crossed my arms. "It's my choice to date him. He doesn't care that I'm a daughter of a Son."

"He's probably just using you." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not using her." Esai said. "I didn't know who she was until after we started dating and started to get to know each other."

"I don't want you with my daughter." He said. "I'm not letting him through the gate. You can come watch your sister perform, or you can leave with him."

"No." I poked my dad in his chest. "He's my boyfriend and we both want to see D perform. You can let Dasha date a man almost twice her age and who's your friend but you can't let me date Esai?"

"He's the enemy. Hap isn't." He said. "Malia, I'm not in the mood for this shit right now."

"Us either." I said. "We're going in to see Dasha."

"No." He said. "Try it and I'll have all the Sons out here."

"Whatever." I scoffed. "Come on Esai, let's go."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"What was that?" Happy asked as I walked through the gate. "Malia hook up with a Son too?"

"Mayan." I growled. "She's with Esai Alvarez."

"What the fuck?" He looked at me as we walked over to the stage.

"He's her boyfriend." I shook my head. "Can you fuckin' believe that bullshit?"

"No." He rasped as we watched Dasha singing on stage. Her voice was eerie and raspy as she belted out some rock song.

"I'm pissed." I crossed my arms. "The fuckin' nerve for him to turn up here."

"At least she didn't keep him a secret Kozik." He looked at me. "Or could have came here saying she was knocked up or married to him. Him being a Mayan ain't the end of the world. If she loves him she's gonna be with him. You getting mad is pushing her into his arms."

I stared at him. He was usually a man of very few words. So this was cool of him to talk. Plus he was right. "You're right."

"I know." He nodded. "She's good." He pointed towards Dasha who was strutting around on the stage and singing her heart out about something I didn't even understand.

"She's in her element." I sighed. "They're coming back." I pointed to Malia and Esai walking towards us.

"Be nice." He said. "Could be worse."

"We're here for D." Malia glared at me over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry for being a dick." I kissed her head. "Just threw me for a loop."

"I forgive you." She hugged me. "She sounds bad ass."

"Yeah." I nodded. "She really does."

"I can't believe that voice is comin' from her." Esai said.

"She's forcing it." Happy said. "She don't sound like that all the time."

"How would you know?" Malia gave him a nasty glare.

"Because I've listened to her sing over a dozen times." He looked back at her.

"I've been listening to her my whole life though." She crossed her arms. "You don't know her voice better than I know it."

"Do you know what?" He stepped around me. "I know her."

"You've know her like three months." She shot back.

"You two knock this shit off." I stepped between them. "Settle this shit later."

"Thank you!" Dasha yelled into the microphone.

"I know her better." Malia muttered under breath.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?" Happy glared at her. "Unlike you at least I'm helping her through her recovery."

Malia crossed her arms and moved back against Esai. "Low blow."

"Not a low blow. You just can't handle the fuckin' truth." He shot back as Dasha wrapped her arms around his waist.

"What put the bugs up your butts?" Dasha looked between Malia and Happy. Her brown eyes growing darker as the moments of silence continued. "What did you do Malia?"

"Oh so it automatically has to be my fault?" She looked at her older sister.

"So Happy? What did you do?" Dasha looked at him then me then at Esai.

"I didn't do shit. All I said was that you were fuckin' forcing your voice." He shrugged. "She got all bitchy."

"Can we not?" Malia asked. "I came her for you two to meet Esai. Not for me and Happy to get into petty bullshit arguments."

"Esai and I are already cool. Liked him since that phone call." Dasha laughed. "Welcome to the dysfunctional family E, may you never know the wrath of papa Kozik."

Esai rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks Dasha." He wrapped her in a quick awkward hug.

"Welcome." She laughed. "Come on Happy, come help me out with my country song."

Happy shrugged and allowed himself to get dragged off into the crowd by his kutte.

"How dare he say that." Malia looked at me. "I've been busy."

"I'm lost." I shrugged and rubbed my head in confusion.

"The recovery thing. I've been there every single time before now dad." She looked at me.

"Yeah baby I know." I hugged her. "Fuckin' relax yourself."

"I'm relaxed." She pulled away. "So you're not mad about Esai and I anymore?"

"No." I said. "You two should leave before the not so nice Sons get a whiff of the Mayan. You got a key and the address so go to the house and we'll be there in like two hours."

"Alright." She sighed. "Come on babe let's go. I don't need your handsome self getting into a fight or going to jail."

"Arright." He rasped. "Bye Kozik, nice meeting you."

"Same." I smirked. "No babies! I won't stand for it!"

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Happy." I laughed as he lifted me up off the ground. "Seriously? In the woods?"

"Yeah." He bit my neck softly. "Only way I can make it through the rest of this event."

"Gotta be quick." I let out a yelp as he raised my dress up and moved so we were hidden behind a giant tree.

"Nah." He set me down. "Not quick."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine babe. Let's do this." I moved my hands to his belt buckle and got it undone when his phone started to ring. "Ignore it." I lifted his shirt and losses the smiley faces.

"Can't." He answered it. "Yeah, I'm with her why?" His hands buckled his belt back.

"What's wrong?" I looked up at him.

"Yeah. We're coming." He closed his phone and pocketed it. "Someone tagged your car."

"What?" I looked at him. "Not Bawse!"

"Dumbass name for a car." He held my hand as we made our way to the parking lot. My heart started to pound faster as we got closer.

"Oh my fucking God." I dropped to my knees when I saw Bawse. My black mustang had been trashed. "Who would do this?" I stood and ran my hands over the rag top. There were cuts and slices all over it. Deep scratches in the body. The tires were slashed and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. Bawse was my most prized possession. It took over a hundred lap dances to even come up with the hefty down payment.

"What happened to the alarm?" Happy wrapped me into a hug.

"I must have forgotten about it when Malia triggered it." I sagged into him. "Can you take me home?"

"What about the country thing?" He looked down at me.

"Don't want to do that shit." I shook my head. "Look at it Hap! All my hard work and money gone. When I find out who did this shit, I swear to fuckin' God I will murder them."

"I'll call for the flatbed." He rasped. "We'll fix it up brand new Dasha. I promise."

"I know." I leaned up and he gave me a kiss. "Take me home. I cannot deal with this shit. I may lose it."

"It'll be fine. Probably a jealous bitch did this shit." He rasped against my head.

That put an idea into my head. "Omg, I know who did this shit. That fuckin' bitch Cole, she had auditioned to be in the band."

"Relax." He put his hand on my stomach to keep me from running off in search of her. "The flatbed is coming, we can leave. You can kill her when there aren't any witnesses."

"Will you help me?" I blinked up at him and he nodded yes slowly.

"You kill, I make it disappear." He smirked. "Let's go, I still want to fuck you Dasha."

"The feeling is mutual." I laughed.

#

"Jesus." Happy collapsed on top of me in a sweaty panting mess. "Were you trying to snap my dick off inside of you?"

"Maybe." I sighed. "You think they heard us?"

"Guaranteed they heard us. Or at least your loud ass." He rolled off of me.

"Not my fault I'm vocal." I laughed and sat up.

"Your little dimple piercings look good." He lit up a cigarette.

"You told me time and time again that I needed decoration on my lower back." I pulled his shirt on and wiggled back into my shorts. "You want a beer?"

"I need two." He held up his hand. "Please."

"Of course." I smiled and left my room.

"You hit high notes I didn't think were possible." Malia looked at me and I felt myself blush.

"It was phenomenal." I laughed. "Bawse got vandalized. He's in need of total body work."

"Who did it?" She looked at me.

"I think this bitch who didn't make the band did." I opened two beers for Happy. "I feel it in my gut. You get time to give your man some lovin'?"

"Yeah before you two got here. You sounded like a porno. Scared Esai into the backyard." She frowned.

"Sorry." I laughed. "Can't promise it won't happen again."

She rolled her eyes as the front door opened and our dad stepped through.

"I heard what happened to your car." He hugged me. "You screwed me out of a bet I had with Bobby Elvis. Now I got to wear a damn dress for a day."

I laughed. "Better shave your back and your legs."

"Not a chance in hell." He shook his head. "Where's he at Malia?"

"Backyard." She whispered. "Let's go get you two properly acquainted."

"Alright." He let her drag him out the back door.

I walked in my room and handed Happy his beers. "Love you."

"Love you." He smiled. "I got the bitch staying in my room at the clubhouse can I keep crashing here?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "Make yourself at home."

"I will." He pulled me down on top of him and kissed me. "You think you can be quiet now?"

"I can try to be." I smiled against his neck.

"You really gonna try to kill that bitch?" He snaked his hands under my shirt.

"Yes." I nodded. "You seen my car. I need to avenge his death."

"Find her and I'll help you." He smirked. "It'll be an early Christmas gift."

"Thanks." I whispered as I ran my nails over his smoothly shaven head. I wondered just how bad it'd be to see him kill for me. Half of me was afraid and the other half was curious.


	26. Chapter 26 Lucifer

Dasha POV

"This is weird." I looked at myself in the rusted gold full length mirror that stood in the corner of my room. "I look weird."

I let out a huge sigh and pulled the black crop top over my head. My neon green bra straps kept falling down my arms and I wished Malia was here to tighten them for me.

"You look good." Happy rasped from the bed. The my little pony sheets were draped over his naked form.

"I was talking to myself." I gave him a frustrated look and he flipped me off.

"Then whisper or some shit. I thought you were talking to me." He tossed my pillow at my back.

"Or you could not listen to my private dialogue." I smiled at him. "I really need grown up sheets. You look funny wrapped in Rainbow Dash."

"I'm not judging." He smiled and sat up against the headboard. "Just glad these are on your bed and not your panties."

"Oh but I do have My Little Pony panties babe." I laughed.

"See now I can't deal with that shit." He frowned.

"I won't wear them around you." I rolled my eyes.

"Toss 'em." He tapped a cigarette from his carton.

"Don't smoke in here." I frowned. "I don't want you tainting my aroma I have created."

"Smells like sugar cookies and mint." He pulled on his boxers and jeans from the night before.

"I know." I sighed. "It's perfection."

I watched him walk out of the room, the. The back door creaked open before springing back shut. "I look weird." I turned to the side in the mirror. "Blah, right is not my angle." I turned my back to the mirror. "Best angle." I laughed and buttoned my jeans before reaching under the bed for my favorite beat up converse.

"Where are you going?" Happy leaned against the door frame.

"I have no clue." I frowned. "I just always need to be dressed."

"Why don't you cover up more?" He pointed to my stomach. "I don't need to be sent back to jail."

"It's hot outside." I twisted my hair into a bun and secured it with bedazled bobby pins. "It's not bad."

"Lift your arms." He nodded at me. I slowly lifted my arms and the crop top rose over my breasts, exposing my bra and cleavage. "Change it, or don't lift your arms up."

"I won't lift my arms." I fixed the top.

He rolled his eyes and walked to the bes and pulled me down with him. "You're stubborn." He swatted at my bun.

"You love it." I rubbed his nose with the palm of my hand.

"I do." He squeezed my waist. "You alright today?"

"I'm in the grey." I frowned.

"That bad?" He looked at me with soft eyes.

"Yeah but it's better then black or blue. When I'm happy I'm in like I don't know, technicolor." I smiled. "Blue is sad, grey is confusing because I could go either way. Black is just oblivion, like I can't function in black. All I want to do is sleep. Blue I sleep but I can't actually do shit."

"Ahh." He rubbed the back of my neck. "I don't want you sad or anything. I like when you're present."

"I like it when I'm present too." I have him a peck on the lips. "I got that Cole chick's address."

"Oh yeah?" He laid back and I snuggled into his side.

"Yeah, also had to file a police report and an insurance claim." I frowned against his chest. "Shit is ridiculous. Not even my worst enemy in Texas would have touched my car and she and I are like the worst enemies. She's the Gargamel to my smurf."

"You're way too young to know about the smurfs." He laughed.

"I watch boomerang network. All the throwback cartoons. You're old but they remade the smurfs in two movies already." I traced the smiley faces on his tight toned abdomen. "You got a really nice body. I could touch your V cuts for days."

"I gotta see these movies." He rasped as he leaned down and captured my lips in a slow mind numbing kiss. His hands pulled me so I was laying on top of him, pressed tightly against him. "Your mouth tastes like peaches."

"My toothpaste is peach flavored. Got it from the children's dentist." I laughed. "Weird but good."

"Put on a different shirt and we can go scare that bitch together." He rubbed his rough hands up and down the small of my back.

"Fine." I climbed off of him and pulled the top over my head. "Is this better?" I pulled a tank top over my head.

"Yeah." He nodded as he finished getting dressed. "Do you know how to use a gun?"

"Did you just ask a girl from Texas if she knew how to use a gun?" I laughed. "I can but I shouldn't have one."

"Knife?" He asked as he attached his to his belt loop.

"I shouldn't have one of those either." I shrugged.

"Basically nothing fun." He chuckled. "Guess you're gonna have to improvise and use whatever you find there."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Improvisation."

"Let's go." He finished pulling on his work boots and stared down at me.

#

"I will hide behind you." I said as I walked behind Happy up to the front door of a house that was in the unsavory part of Charming. The lawn was long and brown, the house run down, and the screen door was ripped.

"Hide for what?" He looked back at me.

"Surprise attack." I chuckled. "When she comes to the door I'll jump out and attack her."

"Where did you even learn your fighting tactics?" He shook his head and walked forward.

"National Geographic." I sighed. "The lionesses hunt their prey then attack it by surprise." I made a show of jumping up onto his back. "You're dead."

"First off don't do that shit." He glared at me. "Second you're attacking her straight on, no jumping her. Let that bitch know she fucked with the wrong person."

"Deal." I stepped around him and pounded on the front door. "This is exciting."

He tapped on my lower back. "Game face, no smiling."

"Hello." Cole answered the door her face fell when she saw it was me then a look of horror spread across her face when she saw Happy glaring at her.

I grabbed her by her hair and pushed into the house. "You messed with my car."

"I did." She shrugged. "What are you going to do about it? Have your boyfriend kill me?"

"No." I shook my head. "I honestly thought you were going to put up a fight."

"Nope, I trashed your car." She smirked. "That mustang isn't so pretty anymore."

I stepped forward and punched Cole in her face. The sound of her nose breaking was satisfying to my ears. "How dare you touch my car!"

"How dare you waltz into Charming and take my dream gig!" She cupped her nose with her hand.

"This is over the band?" I rolled my eyes. "Dumb bitch." I kicked her and she fell to the floor.

"Get off of you psycho." She clawed at my face.

"No!" I grabbed her stringy greasy hair and slammed her head into the hard floor until she stopped fighting me.

"Anticlimactic." Happy rasped. "Do you want to finish her off?"

I stood up and looked down at her. "No, but there has to be at least a few valuable things in this dump."

"You look, I'll watch her." He sat down on the kitchen chair and pulled his gun from its holster.

I wandered through the rooms, searching for anything I could easily chuck at the pawn shop. I came up empty every time. I walked into the last room and stopped in my tracks. "Happy! Come quick!"

I heard his heavy footsteps as he rushed through the hallway. "What's wrong little girl?"

"Look at all of this." I pointed to the closet. "Has to be worth something."

"Dasha." He frowned. "Go wait outside by my bike. I gotta call the club."

"Why?" I looked up at him.

"Just listen. Go to my bike and wait there. This mission just turned into clubshit." He pointed at the door. "Please go."

"Alright." I nodded slowly and walked through the house. Rolling my eyes at Cole who was still knocked out. I walked down the path and towards the bike. "So dumb." I traced the airbrushed reaper that was on his bike. Intricate and perfect.

I heard the sound of motorcycles approaching. The pack soon pulled up next to me. I rolled my eyes at Jax as he swaggered over to me.

"He's in the house." I said. "Last room."

"Juice stay with Dasha." He ordered gruffly as the rest of the group including my dad walked towards the house.

"What'd you find that had the club drop everything and come here?" Juice stood in front of me his sunglasses hiding half of his face.

"I found guns." I shrugged. "Seems important or whatever. I just came here to avenge Bawse's death."

"It is." He smirked. "Did you avenge his death?"

"Not really." I shrugged. "I didn't find any money."

"You'll get a cut of whatever we make here." He hugged me. "We will avenge his death."

I laughed. "You smell good. Weed and body wash."

"You smell like mint." He wrinkled his nose. "And a cupcake or something."

"Yeah." I smirked. "Or something."

"Juice! Get her out of here now!" We jerked our attention towards Happy who was yelling. "Now!"

"So bossy." I waved it off. "Better leave before he comes over here."

"Yeah." He nodded and offered me his helmet and I took it and strapped it on before he got on and I slid in behind him. He pulled away from the curb and I just couldn't help but wonder what was so dangerous about this house now.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"You brought Dasha here?" I looked at Happy as he loaded guns into a duffel bag.

"That bitch was the one who trashed her car, Dasha came to confront her." He shrugged. "She just knocked the bitch out. Made me fuckin' proud."

"Regardless." I shook my head. "Keep her away, this is club shit now."

"I know." He shoot me a look that told me to drop the situation.

"OK." I hefted the large duffle bag over my shoulder and walked through the house. I stopped at the girl who was now tied to the kitchen chair. "You fuck up my daughter's car?"

"What?" She choked out.

"You fucked up my daughter's car." I tapped her head with my knuckles.

"Yes." She looked at me with wide eyes and fear.

"You're going to pay to fix it. If you don't find a way to, I will kill you myself." I glared down at her. "You got that shit?"

"Yes." She shook her head.

"Good." I stood up. "Don't let me find out you're being mean to my kid. If you want to live you'll pay for that car then keep your goddamn distance."

"Very nice Koz, threatening a kid." Tig shook his head.

"This little bitch is the reason Dasha's car is sitting on the lot." I brushed past him. "She should be happy she's not being thrown in a shallow grave right now."

"Can't kill her." Happy rasped.

"But Dasha can." I laughed. "Don't let her though but you know what I mean."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Let her get violent but don't put shit on her that she could feel guilty about."

"Yeah exactly. A beat down is fine but I'm not sure she could do the whole killing thing." I dropped the bag into the van.

"I know, it's why I'm around for." He smiled. "I don't mind getting bloody for her."

"I know you don't." I scoffed. "Don't get overprotective or jealous and start killing people off."

"I can't make no promises." He dropped the last duffel into the van. "You seen what she wears right? Couldn't lift her arms this morning without her shirt showing her bra. Had to make her change into the tank top."

"Why don't you just throw all the tiny tops out?" I laughed. "I used to do that when she was younger. Always wanted to have her stomach out, stomach and boobs. I always had to bribe her to put an actual shirt on. When I asked her to put a shirt on once, she was like dad, that's the kind with sleeves right?"

He chuckled. "She was a dummy when she was younger?"

"Pretty much, then she dropped that act when high school came up. Then she was a nerd, full on math, science, history, soared through in art. She was this indestructible academic force." I smiled at the memory. "Athletic too. I never got it though. All American in cheerleading, volleyball, and softball but hated being around people."

"Ha, that weirdo as a cheerleader? I wish I could see pictures." He laughed.

"Yeah." I nodded. "It was a unique sight, but she didn't start doing the colored hair until later. The doctors said it was the way she coped with her feelings and all that shit."

"Makes sense." He shrugged.

"Don't call her weird." I said.

"She called herself weirdo." He looked at me then towards the house where the rest of the guys started filing out.

"We got them all." Jax said. "Let's get out of here."

"No one sells guns in our town but us." Chibs added.

#

"Where's the princess?" Gemma asked as she sat next to me.

"Which one?" I drowned the rest of my scotch.

"Dasha." She smirked. "Princess of Charming."

I scoffed. "Wouldn't go that fucking far Gem."

"Every prince needs a princess." She nodded towards the door. Jax swaggered in and Dasha was behind him, Juice following her.

"Dad!" She shouted. "Look at this bullshit." She pointed towards her leg.

"What happened?" I looked at her leg, it was bloody and scratched.

"Ate shit trying to skateboard." She shrugged.

"Weren't you wearing jeans?" I looked down at her.

"I took them off because I didn't want to rip them." She frowned. "Horrible mistake. Got a first aid kit Miss Gemma?"

"Yeah baby, it's in the bathroom. I'll have Chibs clean you up and bandage you." Gemma stood and led Dasha towards the bathroom, grabbing Chibs along the way.

"You let her skateboard?" I looked at Juice who had cracked open a beer.

"Yeah." He nodded. "It was her idea, who am I to say no?"

"You're older, you can tell her no when she suggests dumb shit." I shook my head.

"Seemed harmless. She was good then hit a rock or some shit." He shrugged. "I'm bad at telling her no alright? Have you seen those puppy dog eyes?"

"Yeah." I frowned. "Speaking of puppy dogs." I pointed to Happy who was carrying a Rottweiler puppy in his arms towards us.

"Found her dog." He rasped. "Took me forever to get this bastard." He set the puppy down on the ground and it plopped down on his boot.

"Omg!" Dasha shrieked. "Puppy!"

"You like him?" Happy asked as Dasha scooped up the bundle of black and brown.

"He's perfect. You got him fast." She held him in the hair. "I shall name you Lucifer."

"Seriously D?" I looked at her.

"Yeah dad." She smirked. "Thanks Hap. He's perfect."

"Welcome." He hugged her. "I gotta handle that blonde, I'll see you later though."

"Alright." She nodded. "Dad wanna go shopping with me this weekend?"

"Yeah babygirl." I hugged her. "Dad and daughter time."

"It's much needed." She smiled at me. "I'll let you buy me stuff and everything dad."

"You're the one with the money now, you should be buying me things." I chuckled.

"I'm saving it, I want to be smart about what I use it for." She sat on the stool next to me with Lucifer. "Malia wants to open a hair salon with her money."

"I know, she told me. Esai is going to help her out with it." I sighed. "I actually kind of like that kid."

"He's sexy." She bit her lip. "Malia did good for herself."

"Don't try to steal him." I smacked her arm.

"Never! I'm happy with Happy. He let's me talk about all my problems without giving an unwanted opinion." She laughed. "He's perfect."

"I told you to get a guy like me, but who's good with relationship shit." I crossed my arms.

"He's like you." She frowned. "Just more levelheaded and not a big ass goofball."

I frowned. She was right Happy and I were similar in a lot of ways. "True." I shook my head. "I think you should dump him for the football player."

"That football player told people I slept with him for exposure." She frowned. "He's an asshole."

"Happy's an asshole." I sighed.

"You're an asshole, Juice is an asshole, Jax is an asshole. All of you are in some degree an asshole." She rose from her seat. "I need a lift home. I can't take Lucifer on the back of a bike."

"Take my truck." I handed her the keys. "Use it until your car is fixed."

"Really? I always wanted a big ass truck like that." She smiled. "Love you dad."

"Love you too." I raised my glass at her.

"Hope you're cutting back." She waved.

"Trying." I laughed. I watched the doors slam close before turning back and grabbing a bottle of whiskey and the croweater behind the bar. I had to drown the thoughts out somehow.


	27. Chapter 27 Night Terror

**I threw in a special POV. So enjoy this chapter.**

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><p>Dasha POV<p>

_The house was hot, an inferno as I rushed through it. I could feel the flames singe the hairs on the back of my neck. I was in a desperate panic to escape. The house was going down and I was going with it. _

_"Help!" I yelled. My throat was raw from inhaling too much smoke. "Help!" I searched for an exit and failed. The front door was barricaded by a fallen beam. The windows surrounded by curtains of flames. I was trapped and was going down with the house. _

_"Help!" I screamed once more as I crumpled to the ground, the succumbing to the think black smoke that cloaked the house in darkness. "Help." I said weakly as my eyes closed and I was consumed._

"Dasha!" The voice yelled. "Come on wake up."

I sat up and gasped. My hands gripping my throat as I swallowed large gulps of air. "Fuck." I choked out.

"Nightmare?" Happy pulled me in close to him. His hand rubbed my back.

"Night terror." I shook my head. "It all felt too fuckin' real."

"You were drowning?" His voice was warm against my forehead.

"I was trapped in the house. It was on fire and I couldn't fucking escape." I cried. "It was like I was there, it hurts to breathe."

"Let's get you outside." He stood and pulled on his sweats. "You'll feel better. I promise."

I wrapped myself in the sheet and followed him out of the room and through the short hall that lead out to the backyard. "It's cool."

"It's four am." He sat on the swing next to me. "You feel better?"

"Kinda." I draped my legs over his. "Breathing a little easier."

"I just got in." He rasped. "Walk into the house and you're screaming help and gasping for air. Thought someone was strangling you."

"I would have put a fight up if someone was choking me." I chuckled. "Fire, I can't fight back against that shit."

"You're good though. I'll protect you." He said.

"I don't doubt that." I yawned. "Any diners open around here? I could use waffles and bacon."

"Yeah." He nodded. "Two blocks down."

"I'm gonna get dressed and go, no sense in me trying to go back to sleep or whatever." I slid off of the swing but he caught me by my hand and stopped me.

"I'll go too." He stood. "Let me grab a sweatshirt."

"I swear your body is ridiculous!" I wrapped my hands around his chest and pressed a kiss to his back. "Should be illegal to have a body like yours."

He laughed. "Stop, you're gonna make me blush."

"You blush?" I chuckled. "That'd be a sight for sore eyes."

"You're the one with the ridiculous body. All the ink just makes you that much sexier." He pulled on a hoody and zipped it up.

"No shirt?" I raised a brow at him.

"Nope." He shook his head.

"Sexy! Wearing a hoody with nothing underneath is one of the best sensations ever." I smiled as I pulled on a pair of black joggers and a neon green hoody and matching sneakers. For some reason I had become obsessed with neon colors.

"You had the dog less then a damn day and he's already got a fuckin' pile of toys." He shook his head at Lucifer who was sleeping on his bed on the corner next to a pile of toys. "He's supposed to be a guard dog not a pussy."

"Not a pussy." I whined. "You should train him to be a guard dog. I was gonna carry him around until he got to big then I was gonna push him in a shopping cart or some shit."

He snorted. "I'll train him, as long as you remember he's a fuckin' dog not a goddamn baby for you to spoil."

"Speaking of babies, how's that blonde?" I held his hand as he locked up the house and started walking towards the diner.

"She's crazy." He sighed. "I can't even get a straight answer from her about anything."

"I'll ask her." I squeezed his hand. "I'm very persuasive."

"Nah, I'll handle it. I just don't think it's my kid or that she's pregnant." He drapped a heavy arm over my shoulders.

"That'd be skeezy if she was faking it or it's not yours." I frowned as we rounded the corner and the diner came into plain view. "I didn't even notice this place."

"You don't pay attention." He tugged on the strings of my hoody. "This is the longest you've gone without that fucking phone and it's only because you left it at home."

"No I didn't." I shook my head and pulled it from my pocket. "I'm capable of not being on it."

"It's dead?" He looked at me.

"Yeah." I laughed.

"Thought so." He rubbed my right cheek. "You bring your wallet?"

"No." I rolled my eyes. "Did you?"

"Yeah." He smiled as we walked in. "I want a coffee."

"Sophomore year of college I was addicted to coffee. I drank soooo much, I actually went through severe ass withdrawal. Headaches, sweating, shaking, the whole nine yards." I slid in the booth next to him.

"You party a lot in college?" He flipped through the menu.

"Yeah." I snatched the menu from him. "I was a dancer, all around party girl, but I made the grades. A lot of late nights cramming and avoiding unholy thoughts."

"You ready to order?" A round red haired waitress asked us.

"I want waffles and bacon." I smiled at her. "With a side of chocolate whipped cream."

"Honey, we don't have any chocolate whipped cream." She smirked.

"Then a side of regular and chocolate syrup drizzled on the waffles." I looked at her. "You do have chocolate syrup right?"

"Yeah." She placed her fat hands on her fat hips. "You want anything else prissy princess?"

"Rude." I stood from the booth. "Care to say that to my face?"

"Prissy princess." She rolled her neck. "You came in here and ordered whipped cream on the side. This is Charming not Los Angeles."

"You don't have to be rude about it lady. All I'm trying to do is eat waffles and bacon. If you can't put whipped cream on the side then say that shit." I crossed my arms. "I don't appreciate your fat ass calling me a prissy princess because I know exactly what I want to order. Did I complain about there not being any chocolate whipped cream? Nope, I asked for something else and you want to be rude. Well fuck your fat ass, I'll take my business elsewhere."

"Sorry." She said.

"Thanks. I'm still leaving." I watched Happy slink past her and we left the diner.

"You really don't like being called a prissy princess." He grabbed my waist and we walked across the street.

"It's not even that. It was the fact she was getting irritated. Even Tacoma had chocolate whipped cream at that one retro diner." I sighed. "She was rude and I don't want to deal with rude women anymore."

"Remind me never to call you a prissy princess." He laughed. "Glad you stuck up for yourself though."

"Me too. Felt good." I smiled. "I'm hungry though. Omg." I reached under Happy's hoody and poked at his abs.

"Stop." He pulled my hands from under his hoody. "We're almost home."

"Look babe!" I pointed to the baby crow walking ahead of us. "It's so cute! Can I get it?"

"If it let's you, then why the fuck not." He laughed and I walked forward and grabbed the bird.

"Look babe! He's cute as all hell!" I turned it around. "You think his mom is around? Not trying to get pecked to death by a big ass crow."

"Get your ass walking then." He tapped my lower back and I started to walk fast towards the house. "You think he'd stay in the backyard?"

"No." He let us in the front door and Lucifer started to bark at the intrusion. His barks were high pitched and squeaky. "Stop."

"I'm taking the bird outside, you think it'll eat a biscuit?" I gave him a glance. "You look like a biscuit lover." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a biscuit I had the night before off the table and walked out to the backyard with it. I set the bird down and broke the biscuits in smaller pieces and dropped them on the cement. "Aw, you do like biscuits."

SOASOASOA

Happy POV

"Dasha." I spoke as I stepped outside into the backyard. She was sprawled out on the lush green grass. Her hair covering half of her gorgeous face.

"Huh?" She dropped her head to the side to look at me.

"What are you doing?" I walked and stood over her.

"I am enjoying the California sun. You know, I've always pictured laying out in the California sun, getting a tan." She sighed. "This isn't living up to that picture at all."

"Here." I handed her a plate of waffles. "Eggos but they'll do."

"Thanks babe." She sat up and smiled at me. The dimples in her cheek getting a little deeper.

"Where's the crow?" I looked around the yard.

"He is over there, under the table, enjoying that stupid biscuit." She took a bite of the waffle.

"Leave it to you to find a crow walking around." I sat on the swing and lit a cigarette.

"I don't know, crow is a general catchall, it could be a raven. I won't know until I see it fly." She stood as Lucifer jumped up and tried to take her waffle. "No!" She yelled at the dog. "I do not share my food."

"He doesn't understand you." I took a long drag from my cigarette and watched her pull the hoody she had on over her head. She had nothing on underneath it.

"Think the neighbors can see me?" She looked around the yard.

"Nah." I tossed my cigarette butt into the ashtray on the table. I watched her as she stepped out of her pants and spread them on the ground.

"Too lazy to get a towel, but I'm gonna work on my tan." She laid back on the clothes and stared at me. "Join me babe, it's lovely."

"I don't need a tan." I stood up and took my hoody off and walked towards her. "I'll sit for a little bit."

"Perfect." She smiled. "I got a question for you."

"Go for it." I pulled her into a seated position so I could look at her while she talked. I loved the different expressions she made when she told stories, asked questions, or when she just wanted to talk to clear her mind.

"Is Gemma always nice to people or do you think she's being nice to me because I'm crazy?" She bit on the corner of her lip before she replaced it with a long white nail.

"She's nice, can be a bitch when she feels threatened. Tara, her and Gemma don't get along at all." I pulled her onto my lap.

"So I don't threaten her, that's good. She's like a grandma." She tapped her nails on the back of my neck and I shivered. "I don't want to be on her bD side ever."

"Be careful then, stay away from her baby boy Jax." I ran my thumbs over her jawline and kissed her hard and she moved against me.

"Happy." She sighed against my neck. "I bet you five dollars that if we start having sex now your phone will interrupt us."

"I take that bet." I stood up and pulled her up to her feet and lead her back into the house to her room. "So fuckin' sexy." I pressed her against her door and bit down on her neck.

"Happy." She let out a soft moan when my hand slipped into her panties. "I want you." She looked me in the eyes and smiled.

I lifted her up and carried her to the bed and dropped her on it. I hooked my fingers in the waist of her panties and yanked them down her toned, inked legs. She looked at me through hooded eyes and let out a quiet whimper as I ran a finger over her slick folds.

"Babe." She squeezed her tits and looked at me as I pushed my sweats and boxers down and freed my aching hard on. With one perfect thrust I was inside of her. Her eyes shut and her head tilted back, her fists tangled into her hair and her mouth fell open.

Her legs wrapped around me and pulled me closer to her body, her hands gripped my back and her moans and whimpers filled the room. Any other woman I would have told her to shut the fuck up. Dasha, her moans and screams were perfect. Sounds of pleasure.

"Fuck." She hissed and I felt her nails dig into my back, no doubt leaving marks that would linger. A few more thrusts and I felt her orgasm rack through her body. Her walls tightened around me and I could barely continue my pace before my own climax hit. I stilled and captured her lips in a heated kiss, her lips parted for my tongue and she moaned into my mouth as I finished my climax and lifted away from her and fell on my stomach beside her.

"You owe me five bucks." I smiled at her. "No phone call."

"For once." She laughed and licked her lips.

I looked at her and frowned. In the heat of the moment, I neglected to wrap myself up. "You're on birth control right?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I forgot all about the condom."

"Me too." I draped my arm over her as she pulled the sheet over us. I thanked her silently for switching the sheets from My Little Pony to simple black sheets.

"Anyone ever tell you that you got a nice ass?" She smirked at me.

"You did." I laughed. "Stop complimenting me. I'm supposed to compliment you." I traced the rose on her hand. "Why is there a diamond in the center of it?"

"Because I like diamonds." She rolled her eyes. "It's a symbol, delicate as a rose, strong as a diamond."

I stared at it. This girl was full of surprises. I could never get enough back story. She was interesting, intelligent, and had a weird quirk to her. Her being bipolar didn't turn me off, it made me want her more. "Seems legit."

"You want me to grab you a beer or something?" She sat on my back and rubbed my shoulders.

"No." I sighed. "You don't always gotta get me shit babe. I'm a grown man, I can get myself beers."

"I know but I don't mind getting stuff for you. My grandma always told me to take care of my man." She flattened herself against me.

"We playing house now little girl?" I closed my eyes and listened to her breathing.

"No." She said. "I don't wanna play house, I hated that game, I always had to be the wife! Even with another girl."

"Then what are we doing?" I asked, I wanted to hear her define us in her own words. Her dad had told me in the simplest way that she would dump me before I could dump her.

"You're my man and I'm your lady and we have amazing times together. I hope there's many more to come because I love you Happy." She kissed my shoulder. "I know it won't be easy and there's shit you won't be able to tell me but I'm okay with that."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Your dad conditioned you for this shit didn't he?"

"My mom did." She laughed. "She would always tell us never ask him what he does for work, if he wanted us to know he'd tell us."

"Smart woman." I chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so." She rolled off me and sat up. Her fingers tugging lazily on her bangs as she brought her legs up to her chest and sighed. "I got in trouble once, it was so bad, I had to miss school for a week. I put on my dad's kutte and he came home drunk and saw me in it, slapped the shit out of me. Had a Herman handprint on my cheek. That was when I realized his relationship with my mom was abusive but he said he changed when he found out she was pregnant with me."

"You know, I'd never smack your ass around right?" I sat up next to her. "I may be an asshole and shit but I'd never lay a hand on you. That's too old school MC for me."

"I know. I never worried about that shit. My worry is you cheating." She turned to face me. Her arm of ink contrasting with my own. Her tattoos were vibrant and still new, mine fading.

"I will behave. You don't gotta worry about me. If anyone is gonna cheat, it's you with that idiot Juice." I crossed my arms.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeaaahhh right. You're insane. I'm not going to sleep with Juice. If anything I'm going for one of the older Sons."

"Which one?" I glared at her.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She laughed. "I'm gonna shower, you wanna join me?"

"Yeah but which brother?" I slid off the bed and followed her into the bathroom. Leaning against the sink I watched her move and turn on the water. The ink on her back looked out of place, the script of her last name was not done the best and I wanted to get my hands on it and cover it up with something prettier.

"I'll give you a hint. He's not SAMCRO." She stepped into the shower and I followed suit. I turned us around so the water was hitting her directly instead of me.

"Seriously?" I sighed. "Just tell me who it is and I'll take him to the ring."

"For?" She looked up at me with wide eyes.

"For making my lady want him." I shrugged with a laugh. "I'm getting protective and jealous."

"Sexy Lowman." She kissed my chest. "Don't worry about it though. I'd never cheat on you."

"I know but now I'm curious." I pulled on her hair and bit her neck. "When will this part grow back?"

"Started growing. I may want to shave it more and get a tattoo." She squirted some body wash and my nose was assaulted with mint.

"No." I shook my head. "Let it grow back out completely. You're not gonna be the female Juice."

"It was my sister's idea." She poked my chest.

I rolled my eyes. "She's such a goddamn brat. She doesn't know how to shut up and not back talk."

"Why?" She looked at me.

"Because she got all bent out of fucking shape when I said you were forcing your voice." I looked at her.

She laughed. "I was forcing it."

"She didn't want to believe me." I closed my eyes. "She's a brat. Her and Kozik always want to argue about me knowing you. I don't know shit they do but I know you in a different fucking way. I know you in an intimate way."

"Ignore them." She kissed me. "You know the new me. All the other shit is in the past."

"I know." I rubbed her lips. "Let's get a nap in. I'm tired."

She yawned. "Yeah let's nap." I helped her out of the shower and she wrapped a towel around her hair and then dried off her body before during me off. "I swear. I love your body."

"Yeah, yeah." I pushed her out of the bathroom and onto the bed. I quickly made sure the door was locked. Last thing I needed was her dad or sister finding us naked in bed together. I watched her tug the dirty sheet off the bed and quickly put a clean one on before she laid down and looked at me. she was gorgeous, odd and all mine.


	28. Chapter 28 Shaken

Sorry for the lack of Malia and Esai, I just didn't have much inspiration for them the last chapters. They're back though and getting caught up.

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><p>Malia POV<p>

"Malia." Esai whispered as we sat in the movie theater. "I gotta go."

"We're not even through the previews babe." I looked at him. The shadows danced on his handsome face as he looked at me with sad eyes.

"Club calls." He waved his phone. "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"It's whatever." I stood and dropped the boxes of candy into my purse. "Let's get you out of here."

"I'm sorry." He wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed the corner of my mouth. "I really am."

"I know." I gave a soft smile. "I really get it Esai."

"Ruca, don't me mad." He paused as we got to his bike. "Look at me. I'll finish the club shit n I'll get back. We can try this movie thing later."

"Alright." I smiled.

"There's my gorgeous lady's smile." He kissed me. "I'll stop by later arright. Cuddle with you n everythin'."

"Okay." I fastened my helmet and slid on the back before he did.

"Let's go." He climbed on and I wrapped my arms around him as he started the bike and pulled off. The ride was short and he walked me to the front door and kissed me.

"Night." I smiled as I unlocked the door.

"See you soon." He kissed me again. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too."

"Good now lock up n shit. Don't need anythin' happenin' to you." He smirked and walked off.

I closed the door and locked it. Turning around I saw Cam laid out on the sofa. The TV was on but muted. I walked over to her and glaced at her. There were tracks all over her arms and I frowned. "Why do you do this shit?" I looked at her lips and they were a bluish color so I found her pulse. It was there but it was shallow.

I grabbed my phone and dialed 9-1-1. "Yeah I need an ambulance, I got home and my roommate is barely breathing, her lips are turning a bluish color...yeah, okay. I think she's overdosing there are used needles all around...yeah."

I gave them the address and dropped my purse in my room on my bed and opened the front door so that the EMTs could hurriedly get inside the apartment.

"Come on Cam." I rubbed her forehead. "Help is on the way. You'll make it baby girl."

The EMTs came into the living room and I moved out of their way. Silently sending up a prayer for her. I pulled out my phone and sent Esai a quick text letting him know what was happening and I might not be home later.

"You found her like this?" The blonde EMT asked.

"Yeah, I was gone all day, then I came home found her like this. Didn't really think anything of it. She's always sleeping on the sofa, but I walked over and saw the drugs and her lips and called you guys." I let out a breath.

"We're taking her in." He said. "You can ride with us."

"Alright." I nodded and ran to grab my purse. Before following them out and locking up the apartment.

#

"You okay Ruca?" Esai came rushing into the waiting room. Two of his boys in tow.

"She died." I cried. "They couldn't fuckin' save her."

"Oh shit." He wrapped me in his arms. "I'm sorry baby."

"Me too." I looked towards the left at Camryn's family. The first time I meet them and it's because Cam died. "They blamed me."

"Who?" He looked at me. His eyes giving way to rage as he looked around. "Them?" He nodded to her family.

"Yeah." I whispered as he wiped away my tears.

"Fuck that bullshit. I will fuck that old man up." He started off towards them but I caught his arm.

"Don't, just I don't know help me get my shit out of that apartment. They gave me two days to do it." I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest and felt him tense up as Camryn's dad Michael came storming over to us.

"I thought I told you to leave." Michael pointed at me.

"I had to wait for my boyfriend." I looked at him. "It's not my fault she died."

"You're her roommate." He hissed. "You should have been watching out for her."

"She and I worked different hours, when I got off she'd be going to work. When she wasn't working she was sleeping, if she wasn't sleeping she was out with her boyfriend." I crossed my arms. "Come on, take me home.

"She didn't have a boyfriend." He grabbed my arm and Esai stepped in.

"Yeah she did. Some guy named Brandon." I rolled my eyes and handed him her phone. "You'll find answers in there."

"Thanks." He backed away.

"Take me home." I locked my arm with Esai's. "I'm over this shit."

"Let's roll out. You know Fiasco right?" He pointed to the guy in a beanie with platinum teeth.

"Yeah." I gave him a quick hug.

"That weirdo is Rascal." He pointed to the bigger guy. I gave him a hug too. "They'll be your movers. We'll get your stuff tomorrow, you come stay with me arright?"

"Alright." I let him lead me out of the hospital and towards his bike. "I still can't believe she's gone."

"Drugs are bad shit. Look at me though ruca this ain't your fault so don't blame yourself." He kissed me. "I'll get you above this shit."

"I believe that." I smiled. "Thank you for this."

"Nah, don't even mention it." He placed the helmet on my head and fastened it. He climbed on and I slid in behind him. He pulled off, Fiasco and Rascal following behind us in a blue impala.

The ride to Oakland wasn't long, which I wanted it to be. When we pulled onto the driveway I slid off and undid the helmet and set it on the seat. I waited for Esai and he swiftly got off his bike and made his way to the front door. I followed behind him and Fiasco and Rascal were behind me.

"Make yourself at home." Esai kissed me and split off to go out back with the guys.

I wandered back into Esai's room and ruffled through his dresser until I found a plain black shirt to sleep in. I remember Dasha saying the black helped her feel calm while also paying respects to the deceased. "It's worth a shot." I grabbed a clean towel and headed into the bathroom, making sure I locked the door.

I turned on the shower and stripped down while the water got hot and the bathroom became steamy and moist. I quickly stepped in and let the hot water sting my skin before adjusting the temperature. I closed my eyes and tried to get my mind off of Camryn. It was a tragedy. I had lost the first best friend I made since being out of Texas and she had died due to an overdose.

"Rest in peace Cam." I mumbled as I heard gun shots ring out. Piercing the silent night. I stepped out of the shower and quickly pulled on my discarded jeans and the black shirt.

"Ruca, you good?" Esai walked towards me.

"What the fuck was that?" I looked at him as I felt my hair soak through the shirt I was wearing.

"Someone shot up the house, we gotta head to the clubhouse. Lockdown." He frowned.

"Who would even shoot up a house?" I looked at him.

"Club shit. Get dried off n we can go." He looked me over and I nodded as I walked back into the bathroom to get dried and dressed. He didn't even seem phased by the drive by but me on the other hand, I was shaking.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Babe, you wanna see what I'm wearing for my photoshoot?" I looked at Happy who was laying on the sofa watching some softcore porn movie.

"Yeah." He rasped. I smiled and walked back into my room and quickly changed into my outfit and slipped on the strappy black heels and walked out and stood in front of the TV.

"Cute right?" I smiled at him and he sat up.

"Very fuckin' funny. Go put on the real outfit Dasha." He looked at me and his face turned into a pissed expression.

"This is it." I nodded.

"The fuck it is." He stood up and turned me around. "You're barely even covered. Your tits are hanging out, your ass is out too."

"I'm posing for a tattoo magazine cover. I have to show off the artwork." I crossed my arms. "This is what I'm wearing."

"Fuck no." He said. "You're not wearing this shit Dasha."

"I am." I crossed my arms.

"No you're fucking not Dasha." He loomed over me. His eyes piercing through me. "I'm not letting you do it if you don't cover yourself the fuck up."

"I was a stripper, I've worn less." I shook my head and stepped away from him.

"You were a stripper!" He yelled. "You're not a fuckin' stripper anymore. Find a fuckin' dress or some shit." His hand gripped the material of the top I was wearing and he ripped if off of me. "Can't wear ripped up shit Dasha."

"You're an asshole." I walked away from him and locked myself in my room.

"Open this damn door. I'm not finished talking to your ass!" He pounded on the door and I quickly pulled it open.

"I'm not doing it." I looked at him. "So be happy."

"I am, I don't want no other guys looking at you. If they put me in the background then yeah. You showing this much skin, nah fuck that shit Dasha." He pulled me into a hug. "Find a different fucking outfit and we'll see."

"No." I whispered. "They said lingerie."

"What were you wearing?" He looked down at my chest.

"Lingerie." I said. "Thanks to you, I can never wear it again."

"You can wear it topless." He licked his lips and grabbed my hips. "Looks acceptable for me to see in private."

"We're not having sex after that little blow up." I rolled my eyes. "You don't get a reward for your jealousy."

"Shouldn't try posing in a slutty outfit and I wouldn't be getting fuckin' jealous Dasha." He growled.

"At least I asked you about that shit." I shoved him into the door. "I could have went behind your fuckin' back and posed and let you find out when it was already fuckin' out."

"You're really trying me right now Dasha." He pushed back on to the bed. "Don't yell at me, don't dress like a slut for other men and you and I are good."

"Not dressing for anyone but my damn self." I looked up at him. "This shoot is to showcase my ink not my body."

"They're still objectifying you Dasha. You're young and na茂ve." He trailed a hand up my body. "You seen the magazine you really think guys are looking at the ink? No because when I pick up the magazine I'm looking at the bitch's tits and ass."

"I'm not doing it." I turned my head away from him. "End of fuckin' story, get off of me."

"Nah." He put his entire weight on top of me. "I'm fuckin' comfortable like this Dasha."

"Babe." I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You're squeezing the life out of me."

He laughed and slid off next to me. A heavy arm kept me pinned to the mattress. "You good now?"

"I'm mad at you." I sighed.

"Because I reacted like a rational man when he learns his girlfriend plans to pose basically naked for some magazine?" He scoffed. "Grow the fuck up little girl."

"I'm grown up." I smacked him. "I'm mad because you ripped the top and I liked that top."

"Ohh Boohoo." He looked at me. "I'll buy you a new fucking top. You happy now?"

"Yup." I cuddled against him and his arm rested aross my tits. "Let me up though. I got shit to do."

"Nah." He said. "You're staying here with me. I don't have club shit so we're spending the day together."

"I have to go to band practice." I tried to get away but he draped a leg over me.

"The only thing you need to do is fuck me." He flipped over and pulled me on top of him.

"So needy." I tugged on his belt buckle a few times then hopped off of him. "I have shit to do Happy."

"Me too." He grabbed me and fell backwards on the bed. "My lady is on my to do list. I want you."

"I want you too." I bit his neck. "But I need to get some stuff done."

"We fuck now and I'll help you get all your shit done." He grabbed my ass and moved me over his crotch and I could feel that he was aroused.

"Without complaining?" I put my hands on his chest and rocked back and he let out a groan.

"Yes." He shook his head. "I won't fuckin' complain."

"Alright." I leaned down and gave him a kiss. "Let's do this." I rolled off him and undid belt and gripped the waistband. He raised up and I yanked them down freeing his hard on.

He moved to stand but I pushed him back down on the bed. If we were going to change my plans, then I was going to get the most out of this round. "Taking charge?"

"Yeah." I nodded and stepped out of my panties and moved to take off the garter and heels.

"Nah keep that on." He pulled me on to him. "You look sexy."

"I know." I smiled as his hands roamed over my body. Setting my skin on fire in the most delicious and satisfying way. His left hand tangled into my hair and he pulled me into a rough kiss as his right hand snaked between us and pressed against my pussy. "Grab the rubber."

"You grab it." He slapped my ass and I yelped and rolled off of him. I rummaged through my nightstand and found a condom.

"Ha, it's a glow and the dark one." I laughed as I tore it open. I straddled him and stroked him slowly a few times before rolling the condom on.

"Get to it princess." He grabbed my hips and pulled me up so I was over his stiff member.

"Yeah." I slowly lowered myself down on him. I drew in a sharp breath as I adjusted to having him inside me. I moved slowly and lazily and I could see him getting angry. "Don't even think about it Happy." I placed my hands on his chest so he wouldn't try flipping us over.

"Speed it up." He grabbed my waist and moved me faster as he thrust up into my. My head fell backwards and he picked up his pace and turned us over so he was in charge.

"Fuck." I smacked the mattress. "I wanted to be in charge."

"Too fuckin' bad." He growled and bit down on my chest hard enough to take my breath away.

#

"What are we doing here?" Happy looked at me.

"I signed up for classes." I smiled. "I'm going to be a lean mean fighting machine. Dasha Kozik, female MMA fighter." I bounced around on my feet and threw a few punches.

"First of all Miss Attention Deficit." He smirked. "What are you even doing? You're bouncing too much."

"It's what they do." I punched at the bush I parked next to. "I dated an MMA wannabe before, for two days."

"I'm a fighter, I box. I could have taught you." He rasped.

"I wanna do the grappling part too. I've got to believe I have potential to be amazing at this." I walked towards the building. "You're in class too now. It's our thing."

"No." He shook his head. "You go in and I'll wait outside."

"Alright." I zipped off my jacket and stepped out of my sweats and handed them to him. "Suit yourself."

"What are you wearing?" He looked at me. "I'll go in. You're lucky I got my damn sweat pants on Dasha."

"So damn jealous already." I opened the door and he walked in before turning around and pushing me back towards the truck.

"Nope." He lifted me up. "Too many dude, too many fucking chances for me to go back to jail."

"Babe." I laughed as he opened the truck and set me down inside. "You are too jealous, I didn't even get to go inside or anything."

"I don't want them seeing you in your little outfit." He snapped the back of my sports bra.

"You were going to be by my side." I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Let's go to the clubhouse, I'll teach you how to fight there." He smirked.

"Fine." I laughed. "Let's go."

"I don't know why but I can't stay mad at you." He looked at me from the driver's seat.

"I don't even know why you'd be mad at me." I irked my eyebrow and stared at his profile.

"Because you're flirty. I usually hate that but I can't stay mad because it's your personality." He sped up to pass a Prius that had got in front of him and slowed down. "Fuckin' hybrids think they own the road."

"Oh." I rolled down the window and let the breeze sift through my hair. "You're afraid to see me talk to other guys."

"Not afraid." He said. "Worried. I don't want them mistakin' you being all nice and shit as an invitation to flirt."

"How many times have you been in jail?" I looked over at him.

"More than a dozen times. Most recently got locked up with SAMCRO for felony gun charges. So I'm on parole. I gotta keep my nose clean." He chuckled.

"Malia was on probation." I sighed. "She bashed a girl's face in with her softball bat."

"For what?" He slowed down as we passed a police car.

"This chick was messing with her, she had enough and bashed her face in with her softball bat in the middle of a game, Malia didn't even play softball." I laughed. "So it made it even more ironic and twisted."

"You ever been in trouble?" He gave me a quick glance.

"Nope." I said proudly. "No record, no anything." I pulled a book from my bag and started reading it. For some odd reason reading in the car was peaceful and perfect.

"What are you reading?" He rasped.

"I'm rereading the Hobbit." I laughed. "It's my favorite. Have you seen the movies?"

"Nope." He shook his head.

"Ahhh shit! I know what we're doing when we get home! Lord of the Rings and Hobbit marathon." I slipped the book back into my bag. "I promise you'll love every minute of every movie."

"I doubt it." He shrugged as he pulled into the driveway. "But I'll watch it because it seems to make you happy when you fuckin' geek out."

"Wow." I smiled at him. "You noticed that?"

"Yup. Don't get all fuckin' sappy though Dasha." He got out of the truck. "If you're happy I'm happy."

I wrapped my arms around his right arm and squeezed. "You're the best."


	29. Chapter 29 Nudes

Kozik POV

I rolled my eyes as I watched Happy and Dasha play fight in the boxing ring. He was obviously trying to teach her how to box properly but all she wanted to do was bounce around like a kangaroo and throw sporadic punches.

"Dad!" She yelled. "Come join us. Happy says you're a dope fighter too!"

I set my drink down and walked over to the ring and slowly rolled in before popping up into a standing position. "I am a dope fighter."

"Dasha wants to learn MMA." Happy looked at me and rolled his head around. "It's why she's bouncing around and kicking."

"It's what they do." She bounced around me. "Can't hit me if I'm moving around the ring."

She punched at my stomach and bounced backwards as I threw a punch. Her reflexes were on point. "Keep your face covered."

"Alright." She brought the gloves up to cover her face. "Like this dad?"

"Kinda." I stepped forward and adjusted her hands. "Now keep them like that and move around, but don't bounce. You're not on a trampoline."

"Got it." She smiled and Happy slipped out of the ring. "This is fun." She threw a combination at me that caught me off guard.

"Where'd you learn that shit?" I looked at her as I moved around and threw a few punches at her.

"I watched a lot of boxing and MMA." She shrugged.

"You're right handed?" I looked at her.

"No, I'm a lefty." She smirked. "But I tend to use my right hand because grandma told me I was possessed by the devil when I wrote with my left."

"She's weird. You're not possessed." I laughed.

"I know, she's dead and I'm here." She smiled. "We should get Malia in here with you. She's the fighter."

"Later." I said. "Let's get you conditioned then you and your sister can duke it out in the ring."

"For Esai?" She smiled.

"Don't take him from her." I smacked her arm.

"I don't want him." She rolled her eyes. "Hap is way more handsome."

"Hap is ug in the mug." I laughed. "Those tiny eyes."

"He's handsome." She punched me in the gut. "Don't even talk bad about him dad."

"Stating facts." I tapped her head with my fist. "He's a jailbird."

"I know." She shrugged. "He told me about jail. He gets a jealous streak easily then we start yelling at each other then it's cool."

"You doing that shoot?" I looked down at her.

"Nope." She started bouncing around and kicking at me.

"Why not?" I caught her leg and dropped her to the mat with a loud slam.

"Because they want me basically naked and Happy vetoed it." She hopped back up and frowned. "Said too much tits and ass were showing."

"If you wanna do it, do it. Don't let him make you feel bad about shit." I hugged her. "I won't buy the issue but you know I support you."

"Can I be a stripper again then?" She looked up at me.

"See, I can't support that. Magazine covers are okay, unless it's Playboy." I hugged her again. "If you wanna do it, then do it. If he gets mad he'll have to suck it up."

"He was so jealous he wouldn't even let me go into my MMA class dad." She frowned.

"Put him in his place." I kissed her forehead. "I need a drink, so do whatever."

#

"Malia?" I looked at the blonde who was walking over to me.

"Hey dad." She hugged me and pulled off her sunglasses. "Can I talk to you about some shit?"

"Yeah, yeah." I nodded. "Let's go to the back." I stood and lead her towards the room I crashed in when I couldn't make it home and closed the door behind is. "What's wrong?"

"My roommate and best friend Camryn overdosed on heroin and died last night. Then I went to Esai's and his house got shot up while I was taking a shower, so I had to go with him to some lockdown." She looked at me. "Can I crash at your place?"

"Yeah of course. That's what the extra room is for. Happy is there all the time though when he's not busy." I rubbed my face. "I know you two don't get along."

"He thinks he knows her better than I do." She sat on the bed. "I don't like that at all."

"Deal with it." I kissed her head. "Who shot up his house?"

"I don't know. He got all quiet. Said it's club shit." She crossed her arms and stared up at me. "I dropped it though, I told him I was going to stay with you and he said that it was a good idea and just tell him where to send the movers to."

"Send them over. You and your sister better get along. She was pissed about you being in Cali. Talked to her therapist about it." I stood. "Be nice, I won't bail you guys out if you get arrested for domestic violence."

"I'll play nice." She smiled and stood. "She around?"

"In the garage with Tig and Chibs." I smiled. "She has a puppy and a pet crow."

"Crow?" She cocked her head. "She's so fuckin' weird dad. She needs her head rechecked."

"Why are you such a bitch?" I looked at her. "I swear of you start shit with your sister I'll shave your head."

"Everyone always worries and checks in on her. I need people to check in and sorry about me. Just because I'm classified as sane doesn't mean I don't want people reaching out and asking how I'm doing." She looked at me.

"I care. Every time I call you, you never want to answer your fuckin' phone so don't complain." I rolled my eyes. "Like I said, she's in the garage."

"Alright." She walked out of the room and I followed her out. Instead of going back to the bar I followed her outside to the garage to make sure she didn't upset Dasha and that Dasha didn't upset her.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Hey D." I spoke as I approached my sister who was standing between two Sons and pointing at her wrecked car.

"Hey Malia." She smiled at me. "You lost?"

"Ha, funny." I rolled my eyes. "I'm moving to Charming. Camryn died last night."

"I'm sorry to hear that." She hugged me. "I know how much she meant to you."

"Yeah." I smiled. "Thanks."

"So you're moving into the house?" She blinked at me. "I hope you don't mind the puppy."

"I'm sure he's little and cute." I smiled.

"He's a Rottweiler." She nodded. "He won't be little for much longer. I always got a crow, found it walking home from the diner."

"A crow?" I rolled my eyes. "Why would you keep a crow?"

"Because Hap is SAMCRO and I thought it was fitting. I know SAMCRO isn't an actual crow but still. Plus, Gemma has birds." She said. "Mine is an outside bird. He flies off but comes back."

"Weird but I'll deal with it. You and Happy have to keep your sex noises down to a minimum." I blinked at her.

She glared at me. "Malia, very nice."

"You sound like a porn star." I shot back at her.

"Alright." She crossed her arms. "You can't move in. The empty room isn't empty anymore. I really don't see why you're being rude to me. When am I rude to you?"

She had a point. "Never." I replied.

"Okay then." She brushed past me. "If you move in, I'm not dealing with your shitty ass personality. I'm happy right now Malia and I don't need your rude remarks taking that from me. I'm doing good with therapy and keeping business. I'm only blue or grey a few hours a day instead of weeks like in the past."

"I'm sorry." I said. "I'm just feeling left out, we don't even spend time together anymore."

"You're always busy." She cocked her head to the side. "You don't ever text me back, call me back, shit you don't even reply to me on insta."

"I've been trying to get shit together for my shop." I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"You owe me ten stacks." She smirked. "Need to put it back in Bawse when he's restored to a new age glory."

"I got you on that." I pulled her into a hug. "I miss you D."

"I miss you too. I want my hair to be blonde and royal blue again, but blue on the ends." She smiled. "I want it done as soon as you move in, I got some shoots and gigs coming up so fucking fast."

"Plus my hair show." I smiled as I ran my fingers through her hair. "I got a dope idea for the show."

"I can't wait." She hugged me again. "Omg! Dad was teaching me how to box!"

"What?" I looked at her. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, he said we should duke it out in the ring together." She laughed and started to bounce around and punch at me. "I'm Dasha 'the Kangaroo' Kozik!" She thrust her arms in the air and jumped.

"Stop bouncing around. One of your tits is bound to pop out of your shirt." I held her shoulders to still her.

"I would like to see that." Tig smirked at us.

"Ha!" Dasha shouted. "Don't let my dad hear you say that."

"I'll kick your dad's ass in the ring again kids." He smiled.

"I gotta see that shit." I smiled. "I really gotta." My phone started to ring. "I'll be back, I gotta take it. It's E."

"Tell him I said hi!" She called after me. "Don't forget."

#

"Babe." I trailed my hands down Esai's back. "Thanks for moving my shit down here for me."

"No problem." He kissed me. "I wanted you to live with me though."

"I was thinking about that, then your house got shot at." I frowned. "I think I'm safe here for now. It won't be forever. I want to move in with you."

"If I find a different spot would you be down? Like if we looked together?" He pulled me onto his lap.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'd be down."

"Alright, we'll let you stay here but we'll be lookin' n shit." He kissed me. "Your nose is cute."

"Thank you." I giggled.

"This set up is dope." He looked at the drum kit in the corner. "Yours?"

"Dasha's." I rolled my eyes. "She's learning how to play songs for her cover band."

"Talented." He squeezed my thighs. "You okay?"

"No." I frowned. "I feel sad and upset. She was my best friend, now she's gone."

"It sucks. I know you lost your mom, now Camryn. You gotta make sure you n Dasha work your beef out. I see you distancing yourself. Ever since you got back from seein' her." He rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. "Play nice."

"For some reason, I'm just so pissed off at her." I felt the anger pulse through my system. "I know she's got a fuckin' disorder but it's like she gets all this shit and she barely even has to work for it. She just gets shit handed to her. The only thing she worked for was her damn car."

"You can't get mad at that shit." He shook his head. "She's just putting herself out there. Her networking skills are going to help you. She tweets or whatever it is you're always doing well that shit will be free advertising."

"You're right." I smiled. "I got a few hundred followers every time she used post pictures of the hair colors I gave her."

"It works for you both. She's the beauty, the brand, the face of your company. When a little emo girl sees Dasha they'll be like I want her hair color." He laughed. "A state full of blue haired sad girls."

I chuckled. "You're right. She's not emo though. She's considered alternative. Honestly that's just her style, she's the party starter when she's happy. She's happy now."

"That's good. So get her hair a crazy color and boost your brand babe." He kissed me. "You cool with me crashing here tonight?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Arright." He nodded and played with my hair. "You ever think about coloring your hair?"

"What color?"

"Orange." He smiled. "Like the low rider babe."

"See you got the wrong sister." I rolled my eyes. "She'd match your car."

"Hey hey hey." Dasha walked into the house. "Look at this cute ass couple."

"Hey D." I smiled. "He's spending the night."

"Cool. I'm going to a party." She pulled her hair into a side braid that covered the undercut.

"You're all bruised." I pointed to her leg.

"I ate shit trying to skateboard with Juice the other day." She touched her leg. "You should see under the bandages. Road rash. Just glad it didn't fuck up my ink."

"Clubhouse party?" I looked at her as she pulled the fridge open and rummaged around.

"No." She set a yogurt on the counter. "House party. Don't tell dad or hap. They're too protective."

"Who invited you?" I looked at her.

"My band mates did." She pulled the lid off the yogurt and licked it clean. "You about to lecture me about shit too?"

"No." I shook my head.

"You two want to come with?" She bent down and scooped a ball of fur from the floor. "This is Lucifer. He hides and falls asleep."

"No." I said as I looked at the puppy.

"That's a gorgeous ass dog." Esai stood and walked to her. "May I?"

"Sure." She handed Lucifer off to him. His gold spiked collar glimmered under the kitchen lights. "He's all bark no bite yet but Hap is working on it."

"He's perfect. I might steal him." Esai laughed. "Why Lucifer?"

"I have a satanist tendencies." She shrugged. "My anthem is Going to Hell by The Pretty Reckless. Taylor Momsen is my spirit animal."

"What's in that box?" I pointed to the black box sitting on the coffee table.

"Those are my shots I did back in Texas and Washington." She shrugged. "Don't open them Malia."

"Why not?" I picked up the big box. "Nudes?"

"Nope. All bikini and lingerie." She looked at me. "Don't open it."

"I won't." I said as she disappeared down the hall and into her room. I set the box back on the table. I knew as soon as she left, I would be open that box and be nosy. I wanted to know what exactly was in it. I just hoped that when I opened it, there wouldn't be any naked pictures of her.


	30. Chapter 30 Upset

Dasha POV

_"Help!" I pounded on the windows of my car. "Help!" I kicked at the glass with my feet. The car was in flames and I was trying to escape. I could feel the heat intensifying as time passed. _

_"Fuck." I pressed on the horn but nothing sounded. "I'm going to die." I covered my nose with my sleeve to try to filter the air. It was a failed attempt."Help!" I coughed and smoke started to fill the car. _

_"Someone help me!" I pounded at the window before the car exploded. _

"Dasha." I felt hands on my shoulders. "Dasha."

I sat up and gasped for hair. "I'm fine."

"Didn't sound fine." Happy rasped. "House dream?"

"No, I was trapped in my car and it was on fire." I cuddled closer to him and he rubbed my back. "I blew up."

"Damn. Maybe you need to see tour doctor more often." He kissed my forehead. "Let's try to get you back to sleep."

"What time is it?" I looked at my phone. "It's only three. Fuck me hard."

"If it'll help you sleep." He slipped his hands into the back of my sleep shorts. "Anything to help babe."

"No." I whispered before pressing a kiss to his Adam's apple. "I don't want the wrath of Malia and dad."

"Let me duct tape your mouth shut." He bit my bottom lip and palmed my ass. "I got some in my bag."

"Rope too?" I laughed.

"Dasha, don't get me worked up for nothing." He growled. "I will tie you to this bed and fuck you into next month."

"Is that a promise?" I turned on the lamp to look at him.

"Yeah." He smirked. "Just say the word."

"Oh man, I've always wanted to try bondage." I kisses his neck. "I really need to get my own place."

"I got you." He pulled the blankets back over us and turned off the lamp. "Go to sleep because if I can't use duct tape and rope right now, I don't need to be awake."

"Why do you just carry around rope and duct tape?" I asked him as I braided the ends of my hair.

"Shh take your ass back to sleep." He placed a hand overy mouth. "I'm not answering questions about my job right now."

I nodded and dropped the question. "I'm doing that photoshoot. The editor said I could wear a bikini."

"We'll talk about this later." He pulled me closer. "Try to go back to sleep Dasha. You can't function on three hours of sleep like I can."

"I'm going to try." I yawned. "Fingers crossed that I won't have another night terror."

#

"I hate this." I stood in front of my mirror in my black bikini. "When did I get so in shape?"

I frowned at my stomach and rolled my eyes. I didn't even remember having my stomach this flat, not even when I was a damn athlete.

"You look good." Happy rasped. "You gotta stop being so fuckin' critical of yourself."

"I can't help it." I crossed my arms. "It's something in my head and I always over examine and criticize when I'm stressing out."

"Why are you stressing out?" He dropped his arms on my shoulder and rested his head on top of mine.

"I feel like Malia's mad at me." I sighed. "That stresses me the fuck out to have my little sister mad and I don't even know what the fuck I did wrong to make her mad. One minute she was cool and supportive, the next she's standoffish and mad."

"Jealousy." He turned me to face him. "She's jealous of you. You are crazy but you get shit without fuckin' trying. She's working her ass off and you're sailing through life."

"Oh great." I rolled my eyes. "I work for this shit. I just didn't get offered a cover because I was sitting around. I networked for it." I moved around him and grabbed the black box. "I froze my ass off in Tacoma AND Seattle for this cover."

I opened the box and pulled out the glossy photos and handed them to Happy. "You look good."

"I know." I sighed. "These were my test shots for the magazine. I worked hard to look that good."

He laughed. "I'm taking this one."

"That's fine." I smiled. "I did shoots before I left Texas too. You should see how many business people I came across when I danced. It was all business all the time." I handed him the stack of photos from Texas.

"So you want to be a model?" He looked at me. "You're short."

"I'm perfect sized for magazines and such." I sighed. "I don't want to walk runways and shit like that. My goal is to end up on one of those low rider mags. I like bikinis, ink, and cars. I'm not trying to be a model, I just want to be Dasha and finish Crash Into Me. I go after my dreams and I try new shit because I like to write. What would I write about if I worked a desk job and never stepped outside my comfort zone?"

"Romance novels." He set aside a few different photos for his private collection no doubt. "What does Crash Into Me mean or stand for anyways?"

I thought about it for a moment. "You ever get the wind knocked out of you? It's like that but in regards to life, love, family,friends, struggles. To normal people they just get problems. When I get problems they crash into me. They knock the wind out of me and it takes me a moment to recover."

"Makes sense." He handed me the photos back. "When did you start your sleeve?"

"When I was seventeen why?" I checked my arm. "It looks bad?"

"No." He grabbed my arm and looked at it closely. "Most girls get butterflies and hearts. Not a full sleeve of death and disorder."

"Most girls don't have bipolar disorder even though they joke about it." I shrugged. "My only drunken mistake was letting a drunk tattoo Kozik across my back. I gotta fix that shit."

"It needs to be covered." He smirked. "The lettering doesn't flow with your back at all."

"I never really looked at it much." I laughed. "I would be down for a cover up."

"Just let me know when." He rasped against my neck. "I gotta head out though. Club shit."

"I have a question." I looked at him.

"What is it?" He looked up from his phone.

"Do you know if Lyla is looking for new talent?" I bit my lips to hide a smirk.

"You're not doing porn." He picked me up from the bed. "Unless it's homemade then I could let it slide because it'd be fuckin' private."

"I want a job." I kissed the top of his head. "You ever use Nair on your head babe?"

"No." He dropped me to my feet. "I don't want to try it either, get the idea out of your head now."

"I just asked. Your head is smooth like my legs." I shrugged. "Get going faster you handle your business the faster I can get you all to myself."

"I'm going. Bye." He kissed me. "Get out of the house. Don't want you cooped up."

"I plan to take Lucifer out to the park or something." I smiled. "Bye."

I watched him leave the room before following him out and going into the kitchen to start breakfast. Might as well make use with this bikini.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"You just gonna wear that all day?" I pointed at her bikini clad body.

"Yeah." She smiled. "It's hot, this appropriate."

"I would prefer if you wore more clothes around my boyfriend Dasha." I looked at her and she stood up and walked out of the room. I heard her door open and shut.

"Morning." Esai walked out of my room. "You been up long?"

"No." I shook my head. "I think I made Dasha mad. She was walking around in a tiny bikini."

"Whatever she's comfortable in." He sank into the sofa next to me. "Stop being mean to her. She's your older sister. You told me she took care of you financially. Do nice shit for her."

"Yeah." I nodded as Dasha came out of her room wearing basketball shorts and a tank top. Lucifer following behind her and her spike covered backpack danglef from her hand.

"I'm going to the park." She gave me a glossed over stare. "I'll see you around later."

"D, you don't gotta do." I stood up. "I'm sorry for being so snappy, I don't know what's wrong."

She shrugged. "I'm leaving. I need space away from your crazy just like you need space away from mine."

"Alright." I sat back down. "Keep your phone on."

"Always." She waved it in the air as they disappeared out the door. The truck starting up not long after.

"Shit." I smacked the sofa. "I keep messing up with her."

"Let her cool off. Stop being so rude. Think before you say shit to her." He looked at me.

"I'll try." I sighed. "I just don't know why everything she's doing now irritates me. Like every little thing."

"Maybe you should see a doctor." He blinked. "Talk shit out."

"Yeah maybe." I kissed him. "She's so irritating."

Maybe." He shrugged. "You gotta relax though. Can't be at odds with her for no reason."

"You're right." I smiled. "I'll make her dinner or something."

"Sounds good." He stood. "I'll be joining in on that."

"Good. I was really hoping you would." I smiled.

#

"Dasha here?" Happy and my dad came stomping into the house.

"Nope." I frowned and looked at the clock. It was almost eleven at night and I hadn't heard from her.

"I can't get ahold of her." My dad looked at me. "You know where she is?"

"She went to the park with Lucifer earlier." I sighed. "I haven't been able to reach her. I assumed she was ignoring me but I guess not."

"So she's missing?" He looked at me before turning to Happy who had his phone to his ear. "That's just perfect. Missing when we need her to be present."

"I'm homeee." Dasha burst through the front door. "Whoa, party without me?"

"Where have you been?" I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"First off, don't do that." She dropped her bags to the floor. "I've been out having alone time. No big deal. I had Lucifer with me."

"Could have answered your phone." I hissed. "We've been worried."

"It went dead, took too many selfies while shopping." She looked at me. "I needed space, you needed space, everyone needed space."

"I'm glad you're safe." Happy wrapped her in a hug. "Got shit to talk to you about."

"Me too." She sighed. "What did you need me for so badly that you're upset Malia?"

"Esai and I cooked a nice dinner for you Dasha." I crossed my arms. "We worked really hard to get it perfect for you."

"Okay." She looked at me. "Good for you two. I don't know what you want me to say, I didn't do anything wrong and you have no right to get mad at me for not showing up to a dinner I knew nothing about."

"You're right." I nodded. "Sorry. I'm sorry Dasha."

"You should really go to the doctor. Your mood swinging like a pregnant chick Malia." She pushed past me and Happy and dad followed behind her.

They left me with the thought that I could possibly be pregnant. I plopped down on the chair and rested my head in my hands. There was no way in hell I was pregnant and if I turned out to be how was I going to break the news to Esai. Fuck, how was I going to break the news to my dad and Dasha.


	31. Chapter 31 Naomi

Dasha POV

I was cuddled against Happy. His arm wrapped around my neck and tucked under the pillow. No doubt gripping the gun he brought to bed with us. Apparently someone had killed Cole for the shit the club stole from the house. He and my dad were worried about retaliation and I had to be protected.

"Why aren't you sleep?" He rasped against my head.

"Thinking." I whispered. "Thinking too much."

"Stop." He pulled his hand from under the pillow and the gun came with it.

"I really wish I could." I yawned and flipped so I could look at him and all his tattoos on his chest. "How long do you gotta protect me?"

"I'm protecting you forever little girl." He kissed me. "You're my lady."

"I know but I want to go out." I sighed. "I don't want to be cooped up."

"We compromised, you're home. We're alone babe." He rubbed my hip. "I'll take you out if you really have to fuckin' go out."

"I like when you're nice." I smiled. "I kinda love it when you're an asshole though."

"Why?" He rasped.

"Because you look handsome when you get all intense and shit." I smiled. "Plus you're not more of an asshole than my dad is. He's a hundred times worse that you are and that's saying a lot."

"Yeah but I hate being an asshole with you." He kissed me softly. "But you always wanna start shit. You're stubborn as fuck and you got a smart mouth. I never dealt with that before. I'm used to women bending over backwards for me."

"I can bend over backwards but I'm not gonna let you walk all over me." I sat up on my knees and looked at him.

"Don't plan on being abusive to you ever." He closed his eyes. "I love you Dasha."

"I love you too." I smiled. "You wanna draw up a design to cover my Kozik tattoo up?"

"Yeah." He sat up. "You slept through the night."

"Figure that. I guess sleeping with a gun under my pillow does wonders to curve the night terrors." I scooted off the bed and grabbed my sketchbook and pencils and tossed it to him. "Get to work princess."

"We had a moment going and you go and fuckin' ruin the shit." He rolled his eyes and opened the sketchbook. "Roses and diamonds?" He held up the page.

"Yeah, when I get anxious I just unconsciously draw roses and diamonds all over the page." I smiled tightly and pulled off my shirt. "Think you can draw me a nude portrait?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Can you do something else? I'm trying to be creative and shit right now."

"Can I ask you something?" I bit on my thumbnail and watched him.

"Don't you always?" He said on a nod. "Ask way."

"Why doesn't Jax like Juice?" He dropped the pencil and looked at me.

"You're gonna have to ask Jax that shit Dasha." He rasped. "Why do you care so much about Juice?"

"Who said I was worrying about Juice maybe I wanted to know Jax's side?" I glared at him. "I care about Juice because he makes me feel okay for being geeky and loving star wars." I touched the tattoo on my thigh.

"I let you geek out." He said. "I just don't know what you're talking about half the fuckin' time. Who is Dr. Who? Is he related to Dr. Seuss?"

"A whole fandom just gasped at that question." I laughed. "I started to read those magazines you always seem to carry around with you."

"What of it?" He attacked the paper with a pen.

"They're pretty informative. I'm thinking out getting myself a bike." I yawned. "One of the ninja kind though."

"That's what's wrong in the fuckin' world. Those speed bikes. The only bike you need to be on is the back of mine. Got that?" He rolled his eyes.

"For sure." I drawled. "Is SAMDINO a cool charter?"

"Focus on a single subject." He looked at me. "You're okay right?"

"Anxious. Feel like I'm going to have a panic attack." I sat down on the bed and tried to count out my breaths and settle my nerves.

"Yeah." He rubbed my back. "Just do your best to relax."

"I'm trying." I smiled. "I just never know what to expect when I start to panic. I just don't know what even triggered this episode. I was fine."

"Shit with Cole got to you." He kissed my neck and his hands rubbed my thighs. "So relax little girl. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. No one will hurt you."

"I'm upset because she didn't fucking pay for Bawse to be fixed." I looked at him and smirked. I felt all the anxiety fall away.

"See direct that anxiety into anger then into lust because I need to fuck you Dasha." He kissed my neck. "Badly."

"Did you remember to buy boner bonnets?" I looked at him.

"The fuck?" He looked back me. "I didn't remember to buy condoms. Don't you have anymore?"

"Nope." I frowned. "We used the stash I had. Even the flavored ones."

"Your sister doesn't have any?" He pulled my shirt off.

"I'm freaking positive that she's pregnant so she won't probably have any." I smirked. "Let's just fuck."

"Nah, I'm not risking it. We had sex twice with only your pill." He rubbed my neck. "I love being alive, I don't want Kozik to kill me for an accident."

"So we're not fuckin' because you're afraid of my dad." I laughed and moved away from him and towards my bathroom. "You can bust a nut on your own then."

"Nah." He hopped up and pinned me against the dresser. "If you're insisting then I'm with it."

"I'm demanding it." I smirked. "But I get it if you're too afraid."

"Little girl, you're talking a big game." He rasped. "I'm all about getting off with you. Just don't want kids out of it."

"I got you old man." I dropped to my knees.

SOASOASOA

Happy POV

"You know Ima Tite?" Dasha looked at me from where she lay on the floor.

"She used to hang around the club. Fucked Jax and Opie." I looked at her. "Why?"

"Booked a shoot for a boutique with her. Scheduled for tomorrow." She smiled. "Good with you?"

"Depends." I said. "I'm taking you to the shoot, we're still going to be on lockdown. Please don't fight me on this shit Dasha."

"I wasn't going to." She rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to be difficult with you all the time. So I was thinking about earlier and the whole kid thing."

"You want kids now? I can't give you that Dasha." I glared down at her. Letting my eyes roam the length of her body before settling back on her gorgeous face.

"Nah." She sat up and looked at me. "I'm thinking about getting one of those value sized boxes of rubbers."

I laughed. "You serious?"

"Yup." She stood up and walked over to a box that was leaning against the wall. "I need you to put this together for me." She dropped the box at my feet. "In my room where that open space is."

"What is it?" I kicked at the box before pulling my knife out.

"Something that you'll love." She dropped to her knees and watched me open the box.

I laughed. "A stripper pole?" I pulled the marked box from the brown box it was in. "Seriously little girl?"

"Hell yeah." She stood. "I'm going to show you how I put myself through college babe."

I rolled my eyes and carried the box into her room. "Here?" I pointed at the only open space in her room and she nodded and wrapped her arms around my middle and squeezed. "A black stripper pole?"

"It's cool right?" She sat on the floor and watched as I installed it. "Yes!" She jumped up and walked into her closet. "You sit on the chair and close your eyes."

"Why?" I asked as I cleaned up the mess before sitting down in the chair.

"Because I'm about to show you my stripper persona Naomi." She stuck her head out of the closet. "You good with that or should I wait until we get condoms?"

"Just hurry up." I laughed as she dimmed the lights and music started to play. She had obviously planned this ahead of time.

She walked out the closet. Wearing a lingerie set that barely covered anything. The heels on her feet lit up with every step. "I'm Naomi." She cooed at me as she grabbed ahold of the pole.

The song was fitting because the way she moved did have me hypnotized. She made it look effortless, the way she used the pole. "Damn." Was all I could say as danced. Her hips moving in time with the beat of the song. I stood up and grabbed her. "I can't just watch anymore."

"I wasn't finished." She looked at me. "You liked it though?"

"Yeah, I can see why you made so much money." Grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her. "Fuckin' sexy."

"I didn't even show you the best trick." She pushed me back down into the chair.

"What?" I looked at her as she worked her way to the top of the pole and looked at me. "You're going to hurt yourself." I stood to grab her but stopped half way as she slid down the pole upside down. Her hair brushed the floor before she flipped over landing on her feet.

"Pole dancing is very athletic." She smirked. "You think these thighs are just for show?"

"You're going to kill me." I pulled her against me. "Get dressed we're going to the clubhouse."

"Why?" She looked at me.

"Because I got a text and the guys need me. I held off until after you did your little show." I kissed her. "Get your ass dressed and don't try to pitch a fit about this."

She walked into the closet and came back out in a reaper crew shirt that I recognized to he Jax's right away. "Let's go."

"How'd you get that shirt?" I pulled on the collar and she smacked my hand away.

"I asked Gemma for a shirt I could wear while I was working on bawse. She gave it to me. Said it was an extra." She pulled it off. "Am I not allowed to wear it?"

"It's Jax's shirt." I grabbed it and tossed it into the garbage bin. "I don't want you wearing another man's stuff."

"I didn't know." She pulled on one of my white shirts. "Better?"

"Yes." Grabbed her hand. "Grab Lucifer and let's go."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Sorry I'm late. Ran into some issues." Happy dropped his bag on the floor in front of the guy we had tied to the chair.

"Glad you're here." I patted him on the back. "This guy didn't cave under my methods."

Happy grinned at me then at the guy as he pulled out a knife and a blow torch. "I got some shit that may work." He turned on the torched and heated the knife until it was a molten red color. "It'll be fuckin' fun."

He started to press the knife into the guy's chest while Jax and Tig asked questions. The guy started to answer as the knife went deeper.

"Would you fuckin' look at that. The skin melted to the knife now it's stuck." Happy chuckled. "Plan B." He reached back in his bag and pulled out something that looked like a pen but it had three very sharp looking needles at the end of it. "Saw someone using it, it looks fun huh Koz?"

"Who used this?" I looked at him as he plunged the needle points into the guys stomach.

"D." He said. "For some weird Asian project she was doing."

"Of course. Getting torture ideas from an art project." I scoffed. With a few quick pokes the guy gave up all the information we needed. "Get your shit and let's go."

He stood and with one hard pull, dislodged the knife from the guy's body sending blood spraying him. "Fuck."

"Clean up back at the clubhouse." I dragged him away before he could lose his temper and finish the guy off.

"I got an issue with Gemma." He looked at me. "What's with her wanting Dasha to be with Jax?"

"The prince needs a princess." I droned as we walked to the van. He got on his bike and sped off.

"What's up his ass?" Tig asked as I got into the van.

"Figured out Gemma wants Dasha with Jax." I rolled my eyes. "Gemma is for some trouble."

"She's too much for Jax." He laughed. "He would not know how to handle it at all."

#

I walked into the clubhouse and found Dasha and Juice in the middle of the pool table. Their foreheads pressed together as they held hands.

"What are you idiots doing?" I asked as I stood next to them.

"Meditating." Juice spoke. "It's peaceful you should try it."

"How'd you get out of club shit." I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him off of the table as Happy stomped through the clubhouse and no doubt towards his room to shower.

"Jax told me to hang back, said I wasn't needed." He shrugged. "Are we good here Koz?"

"Yeah." I nodded just as Happy came back down the hall the blonde croweater who claimed to be pregnant by him running from him. "What's wrong?" I stepped in his path.

"That cunt was fuckin' lying to me." He moved forward to grab her.

"She ain't worth it." I said. "Drop it and be happy."

"I'm happy." He pushed my arms away. "I just hate being lied to. Bitch owes me some fuckin' money."

Dasha slid off the table and looked at me then to Happy then at the croweater hiding behind Juice. "Let's get you cleaned up." She grabbed Happy by his arm and pulled him towards the hallway and to everyone's surprise he didn't resist he allowed himself to be led away.

"Look at that, she's a good old lady." Gemma patted me on the stomach. "You did good."

I rolled my eyes. "He knows you're trying to plant seeds into her head about being with Jax."

"She'd be a good old lady to my baby boy. They'd look good together." She smirked. "I'm just stoking the flames honey. You said it yourself she's with the wrong Son. Why not push her to Jax and not Juice?"

"If she's going to be with a Son. I want her to be with one who can protect her. Jax and Juice are more trouble than protectors." I grabbed a beer. "Plus he claimed her. He's either gonna ink her or make her cry."

"Yeah." She placed a hand on her chin and nodded. "It's going to be a hard sight to deal with it. You ready papa bear?"

"Yeah, I am ready." I smiled at her. "Ready to take his ass straight into the ring of he hurts her."

"I bet." She walked off.

"Hey dad." Dasha wrapped her arms around me. "You look sick."

"I feel sick." I looked at her. "You got Hap to calm down?"

"He's in the shower." She rubbed her face. "I want to hit that blonde bitch so much."

"I would advise against it." I looked at the crying blonde. "She's still pregnant, it's just not Happy's."

"Whatever." She grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Happy drinks this right?"

"You should know what your old man drinks." I laughed.

"He never really drinks liquor around me. He's only ever been drunk a few times while we hung out." She shrugged. "I know what you drink though."

"Go away." I dragged a hand over her face and she laughed.

"I got a photoshoot tomorrow." She smiled. "With some dope ass model. I'm excited."

"I'm proud." I smiled. "You're still writing though?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Never will stop writing."

"Good. I don't want you neglecting your writing for modeling." I kissed her forehead. "I love you, you little shit head."

"Love you too Herman." She rolled her eyes and walked away.

I pulled out my phone and texted the only woman I knew I could turn to. The young croweaters were fun to fuck but sometimes I needed a woman my own age to fuck.


	32. Chapter 32 Ima

Malia POV

"Esai." I looked at him. "I got some shit to tell you and I don't know how you're going to like it so I'm just going to say it now. I'm pregnant."

He blinked at me. "What?" He rubbed his face. "You're knocked up?"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry." I shook my hands out. It was a nervous habit I had picked up during the times I used to sit with Dasha through panic attacks. "I can take care of it, if you don't want it."

"Ruca, relax." He chuckled. "I ain't mad. Shit happens. You want to keep the baby?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Arright then. We'll keep the kid, get us our own spot in some safe neighborhood and then we'll raise the kid, he'll be a Mayan." He smiled at me. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah I am." I nodded. "I don't really know what happened."

"I didn't pull out most of the time." He laughed. "Never really thought much about being careful. Love you ruca, wait until we tell my mom. She'll fuckin' die from excitement."

"My dad will die from shock. Dasha already knows. She knew before I even did." I rubbed my neck.

"I wanna introduce her to Fisaco. I think they'd get along." He pulled out his phone and smiled.

"She has a boyfriend." I rolled my eyes. "No use trying to play matchmaker."

"I can try." He shrugged and as if summoned Dasha walked out of her room. Her hair looked like a rat's nest and she wore an oversized black shirt that hit her knees but hung off one shoulder sloppily.

"You see something you like Malia?" She stuck her tongue out at me. "You knocked up or what?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "We're keeping the baby."

"Oh, you two are the realest. Dad's going to kick his ass. You ever been in a boxing ring Esai?" She looked at him. "First time for everything."

"I won't let dad hit him." I said. "Hap around?"

"He's sleeping." She yawned. "He had a long night of only God knows what. Dad, I'm pretty sure he has a girlfriend."

"What makes you think that?" I watched her pour two glasses of orange juice before dropping ice into them.

"Because he's been less intense, he's never here or the clubhouse at times so he has to be at a woman's house." She shrugged. "It's the only motherfucking plausible reason."

"Esai wants you to meet his friends." I blurted out.

"Alright, I'm down." She smirked. "Just let me know when and where." She turned and left the kitchen.

"See, it feels good to be nice to her huh?" Esai laughed. "You wanna go grab food or something?"

"Yeah I'm down to go eat. I want a burger and fries." I stood up. "Remind me to make a doctor appointment."

"I will." He kissed me as Dasha came walking out of her room again.

"You guys leaving?" She opened the fridge and pulled out a can of chocolate whipped cream.

"Yeah." I looked at her.

"Good." She cackled and walked back towards her room.

"We should leave before she starts whatever she's planning to with that whipped cream." I grabbed my purse and grabbed Esai's hand as the music started up in Dasha's room.

#

"You're pregnant?" Esai's mom pulled us both into a tight hug. "This is amazing news! I'm going to be a grandma."

"Yeah." I nodded. "I got an appointment tomorrow afternoon if you want to come with us."

"I would love to go with you two." She gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Welcome to the family for real Malia."

"Thanks." I smiled as I felt Esai squeeze my hip. "Glad to be part of it."

"Let's get you some cupcakes." She walked off behind the counter and started putting assorted cupcakes onto a platter.

"You look good." Esai whispered on my ear as he pulled me down onto his lap and kissed the back of my neck. "I want you."

"Want you too." I whispered back as I watched his mom walk towards us with the cupcakes and two small cartons of milk.

"Milk is good for the baby." She smiled. "Drink it all."

"I will." I nodded and picked up a chocolate cupcake. "This is amazing. I know where to get the baby shower cupcakes from."

"Yeah." She sat down. "Esai let the girl sit on her own."

"Nah." He wrapped an arm around my waist. "I want her in my lap. Gotta keep her close at all times now."

"Possessive." She clucked her tongue and stood back up. "I gotta get to baking. You help yourselves to anything."

"Thanks." I smiled until she disappeared. I turned around so I was facing Esai.

"Get a box so I can take you home ruca, yeah?" He slid his hands under my shirt and squeezed my breasts.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Stop this though. At this rate we won't even make it to your place to fuck." I kissed his neck.

"You're fuckin' sexy when you want me just as much as I want you." He stood up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Let's get this shit moved to my place. I'm gonna go crazy Malia."

"You and me both. I think this is what got us knocked up to begin with. We have a lot of sex." I laughed and grabbed a to go box when he walked me over to the counter. "Forget the cupcakes let's just get out of here."

"We'll be back mom!" He yelled. "Save the cupcakes!"

"Classy babe." I slid to my feet and we walked out of the bakery hand in hand.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"That was amazing." Dr. Linden panted as she rolled off my body. "Best sex I've had."

I nodded, too out of breath to respond with words. I turned my head and smiled at her. I knew fucking her was against some rule. She was Dasha's treating doctor but now she was my fuckbuddy. I had a feeling it was developing into something more.

"Same here." I sighed and looked at her. "Hate to ask but does this affect your treatment of my daughter?"

"No." She looked at me. "I can refer her to a colleague if need be."

"She seems to like you though." I smiled at her.

"She's one of my favorites." She smiled back. "You two have an unusual relationship to say the least."

"Yeah." I nodded as my phone started ringing. "Speaking of the devil. I gotta answer it." I flipped it open.

"Dad!" Dasha yelled. "Where are you?"

"I'm busy, is this important?" I asked.

"Yeah! Do you have any plain white shirts in your room that are clean and that I can borrow. Hap doesn't have any and I need one." She laughed.

"Dresser." I rolled my eyes. "Bye Dasha."

"Dad, you better wear that bitch out! I know you're with a woman!" She yelled as I ended the call and felt myself blush hard.

"Sorry, she doesn't have a filter." I tried to laugh it off.

"It's fine." Dr. Linden spoke. "She's like that in her sessions too."

"How's she doing Ashely?" I held her hand and stared at her.

"Good, I can't get into much other than she's improving. She's taking my advice and all of that." She smiled. "Don't think you need to worry too much about her. She's a strong young woman."

"My worry is, she'll try to take it upon herself and not ask for help when she starts to get bad." I rubbed my forehead with my fingers and yawned.

"From what she tells me she has a positive support system with you, her sister and some guy she refers to as Happy." She scooted closer to me.

"Happy is her boyfriend. That's his real name." I scoffed. "He's older than her but they seem to be getting along just fine."

"Hmm." She hummed before going completely quiet and still beside me.

"What?" I looked at her. "You can't just hmm and then not say shit afterwards. Lay it on me sweet cheeks."

"Maybe she's with him because she has daddy issues. It's very common. Do you see a weird dynamic between them when they interact in public?" She sat up and wrapped the black sheet around her and looked down at me.

"He refers to her as little girl." I rubbed my eyes. "I never really thought of it as being a daddy issue type deal. Just thought it was an attraction."

"Just observe them more. Is he controlling? Does she give up more than he does? Things like that. Has she changed her life completely just to make him happy?" She smiled. "I have to get ready. I have appointments to tend to."

"Alright." I slid out of bed and started to pull my clothes back on.

"I hope we can do this again Herman." She watched me finish dressing. "It's a lot of funyou

I chuckled. "I'll bless you with my presence again really soon Ashley." I leaned over and kissed her. "I'll see you around."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Babe." I wrapped my arms around Happy and rested my head on his chest. "What's wrong?"

"Don't feel good." He rasped. "I think I got a cold."

"You look flushed." I reached up and touched his head. He felt warm. "You sit down, I'll get you water before this shoot starts."

I grabbed the water and Ima followed me over to where Happy sat. Her eyes went wide before she looked at me. "You had to bring the scary Son?" She backed away slowly as if Happy was going to jump up and strangle her.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "This one is my boyfriend. He had to come with." I handed him the water and the Tylenol I had found in the mini first aid kit I kept in the bottom of my bag.

"Boyfriend?" She looked at me and then again at Happy. "I thought your dad was a Son."

"He is." I tapped her hip. "Kozik is my dad and Happy is my boyfriend. Juice is my best friend and Jax is a friend who is annoying."

"Jax broke my nose." She placed a hand over her face. "Had it coming but still. Lyla doesn't like me."

"She doesn't like me either." I laughed and draped an arm around her. "I think you and I are going to be good friends Ima. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah." She smirked. "Let's get this shoot over and done with babe."

"I'm all for it." I walked into the dressing room we were sharing and changed into a red outfit that the stylist had laid out for me. "This looks good on me but I like yours better."

"Everything is better in black." She smiled as we walked out towards the photographer. Happy lifted his head but he was too sick to object to what was happening and I was happy for that but I wanted to get this over with and take care of him.

"Your tattoos are pretty cool." Ima trailed her nails over the ink on my thighs and I shivered at the sensation.

"Thanks." I smiled at her as the photographer started snapping away. "You need some ink." I looked at her. "You're pretty empty."

"I could never get that much ink." She pointed towards me. "Maybe a flower or something."

"A daisy or rose?" I looked at her as we switched spots. So I was straddling the chair and she was standing.

"A sunflower." She smiled. "They're my favorite flowers."

"I love roses and more roses." I laughed as the photographer complimented us on pur flawless chemistry. "You still in the movie business?"

"Retired." She rolled her eyes. "How'd you land this gig?"

"I got it because I walked in to the boutique and the manager asked me to do it." I smiled smugly. "You?"

"Grew up around here. It was fitting that I became the face. Now I'm sharing the honor with you." She rolled her eyes. "What are you doing after this?"

"Taking care of my Old Man." I smiled. "You trying to hang out or something?"

"Or something." She licked her lips. "You down to hang out and watch movies?"

"Yeah, for sure." I nodded. "Sounds like it could be fun."

"I'll follow you home then." She hugged me and I hugged her back. She seemed like she would be a good time.

#

"Alright." I helped Happy walk through the house and to my bedroom. I knew he was solid because I had his weight on top of me plenty of times but this was ridiculous. The outlaw was sick and had turned into a helpless child. "There babe." I tugged off his boots and jeans.

"It's hot." He looked at me and I straddled his hips to get his top layers off.

"I'm going to need you to stop wearing so many layer up top babe." I got off his kutte, then managed to get off his hoody, and shirt. Leaving him in his wife beater and boxers. I tugged a thin sheet over him. "I'll be right back with medicine and juice."

"Nice place." Ima said from her seat on the sofa. "You live alone?"

"Nah. Sometimes my dad crashes, my sister moved in but now that she's knocked up she is going to leave. Happy is here when he doesn't have club shit to do. Help yourself to drinks and snacks." I kicked the fridge door shut as I walked back into the room to care for Happy.

"She's going to get us both in trouble." He opened his eyes long enough to down the cough syrup and to chase it with the fruit punch. "I don't care how cute she is Dasha."

"I can send her home now." I looked at him. "She can come hang out another time."

"I'm sick. I don't wanna deal with two of you at once." He gave me a quick hug. "Send her away."

"Alright." I smirked. "This was your idea, now you're sick. Serves you right for trying to be greedy."

"Nah." He grabbed my arms and pulled me towards. "This was your idea that I fuckin' agreed to Dasha. I don't know what it's supposed to accomplish though."

"It's innocent fun!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go send her away, and we can do this when you're not all hopped up on cough medicine babe."

"Little girl." He said in a stern voice. "You drugged me. I'm feeling that shit in me already."

"It's strong." I looked at him. "It's the expensive hospital grade shit. I should have given you a smaller dose."

"Nah." He shook his head. "It's fine."

"Alright." I kissed him.

"Hey guys." Ima appeared in the door way. "We gonna party or what?"

"Not tonight." I frowned. "He's too out of it. Raincheck?"

"Of course." She smiled as I walked towards her. "Just text me."

"I will." I hugged her. "You good to drive home?"

"Yeah, look at you being all concerned." She chuckled.

"Yeah, well it's raining. Don't want you dying before we can have fun." I laughed.

"Ha!" She laughed. "I live like a few blocks away. Let's grab lunch tomorrow Dasha?"

"Oh for sure." I nodded as she walked out. "Text me."

"Bye bitch." She laughed and have a small wave.

"Bye." I stuck my tongue out and went back in and locked up. "Happy!"

"What?" He was laying on his stomach now. The sheet draped over his lower half. "I'm sick don't yell."

"I'm not yelling." I straddled him again and started rubbing his back. "You feel tense."

"Club shit." He groaned as I worked his shoulders and I felt his muscles start to relax under the kneading. "You really want to fool around with Ima?"

"I'm not sure anymore." I sighed and flattened out against him. "I won't lie the attraction is there."

"How does your whole sexuality work anyways?" He yawned and I knew it was a matter of minutes before he was knocked out cold.

"I like men, I like women." I kissed the back of his head. "It's that simple, it isn't this complex thing. You're the only man I like though. So let's get that straight right off the bat. I only mentioned Ima because I think she's hot."

"Yeah, I don't mind you with a girl as long as I'm involved." He yawned once more. "Got it little girl? You try this with a guy and I'll be going to prison for a double homicide?"

"What? You mean I can't persuade you into sharing me with that one Son that I have a crush on." I kissed his neck. "Get some sleep. I'm going to write and see if I can't get the crow to ride on Lucifer's back."

"Okay." He mumbled into the pillow as I grabbed my backpack and walked out into the backyard. He had just made a huge mistake. He had fallen asleep during his protection duty during a lockdown.


	33. Chapter 33 Fear

Malia POV

"What did you do to him?" I looked at Happy who was knocked out cold on the sofa. He hadn't even bothered to undress.

"I gave him some cough syrup." Dasha shrugged and rolled her eyes. "He's got a cold."

"Yeah I see that. How much of it did you give him? The whole goddamn bottle?" I rubbed my forehead. "Hand me the bottle Dasha."

"Here." She pushed it towards me. "It's the same shit we used to party with Malia."

"Yeah, well shit." I turned the bottle over in my hands. "He's not used to this shit, next time give him half the dose it says on the bottle."

"Whatever." She pulled her shirt over her head and grabbed the bottle back. "He's in a death sleep."

"I don't think that's good for him Dasha. He's your protection and you've drugged him into a mini coma." I tapped Happy on his head to make a point. "He didn't even flinch."

"Lick his head." She laughed. "Do it! He'll wake right up."

"I'm not licking his head." I moved towards her. "You're so weird."

"I know." She walked over to him and licked his head and he grabbed her arm.

"Don't start that shit." He said gruffly.

"Malia thinks you're dead baby." She sat on his lap. "The killer can't be incapacitated."

"I ain't dead." He looked at me. "Your dumbass boyfriend around?"

"Club business." I blinked. "Why?"

"Club shit." He nuzzled against Dasha's neck.

I rolled my eyes and watched their exchange. Happy had gone from mean and scary to soft and loving in a matter of seconds. It lessened his bad ass biker appearance. He wasn't someone I should be standoffish with but someone I should try to get along with since Dasha put forth effort to befriend Esai.

"Esai coming over later?" Dasha looked at me. Her hair falling sloppily in her face.

"Maybe." I smirked.

"If he does, he better pound you into the mattress, you guys have good volume control or you don't have a good sex life." She chuckled.

"Not everyone sounds like a porn star." I flipped her off and she returned the gesture.

"Speaking of porn star." Happy looked between us. "Dasha's new friend is a retired one."

"Swear!" I shook my head and looked at her.

"Ima Tite." She rolled her eyes. "Met her on a photoshoot. Hit it off though."

"Of course." I rubbed my temples.

"0-100 how irritated did you just get Malia?" She bobbled her head around and stuck her tongue out.

"99." I frowned. "It's just that you're so irritating!" I yelled. "You're acting like you don't remember any of the Tacoma shit. I remember it though."

"Whoa!" She hopped up. "Happy was there for that disaster, you were there and dad was there given I don't remember like three days but I know I went through shit Malia. This is my way of dealing. Finding positive shit to submerse myself in to. I don't want to be bored and have to constantly think of that shit. I broke down now I'm in a state of repair. Move forward, it's what I'm doing."

"You seem like you're ignoring it. Are you even going to therapy?" I crossed my arms and glared at her.

"Sure am! I even got dad to go with me to two sessions." She cocked her head. "You don't have to be so uptight about shit Malia, I'm doing good. I think the new combo is working for me. Can we not think about negatives? I just want to be happy, I'm happy. I have bad days but we all have bad days."

"I just don't want you to be oblivious and push feelings down." I sighed. "I don't want you back in there."

"I don't want me back in there. You should for real relax. I'm the older sister and you're the younger one and you're expecting鈥 "

"Dasha!" I pointed to Happy.

"I already knew." He looked at me. "Your sister is a gossip kid."

"Why am I kid and Dasha little girl?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Because you're annoying like a kid. Dasha is little girl because she's short." He grunted. "Don't be annoying and you won't be a kid Malia."

"You're an asshole Happy." I scoffed. "My sister can do so much better than your grumpy ass."

"Nah, Malia chill." Dasha looked at me. "You need to chill out for real."

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "He just gets under my skin."

"He's just honest. He doesn't mean to be rude or anything. You think he hasn't told me I'm annoying? He has no filter." She hugged me. "We forgive you but please, please, come with me to my next psych session. We can talk so much shit out."

"I'll go." I resigned and hugged her back. "Just let me know when and where."

"Yay!" She clapped. "You're going to love the doctor. She's super nice. She's the kind of woman dad should date but he's too busy fucking around with some slut."

"You're too much Dasha." I smiled. "I need to do some hair. You down for it?"

"Only if you make me blonde like Dany from Game of Thrones. Hap loves her, isn't that right Lowman?" She smirked at him.

"Yeah mother of dragons and all that other shit she recites." He toed off his boots and relaxed further into the sofa and for the first time I noticed the guns sitting off to his sides.

"Alright Khaleesi it is." I smiled.

#

"Damn." Esai looked at Dasha. "You look like a white girl."

"I am a white girl." She rolled her eyes. "Do I look like Malia yet?"

"Not even close." He shook his head. "My ruca, she's the flyest."

"I know right!" She smiled. "She's gorgeous."

"Stop, you guys are ridiculous." I felt a blush rise to my cheeks as I looked from my boyfriend to my sister.

"I gotta go." Happy slid behind Dasha. "Which means you gotta come with Dasha."

"Alright." She shrugged and walked off into her room.

"You good watching Malia or do I need to take her with?" He stared at Esai.

"I'm good, I got her brother." Esai nodded. "Won't let anything happen."

"Good." Happy nodded and walked out the front door.

"He's scary." Esai chuckled.

"Tell me about it." I shrugged.

"Peace out my beauties." Dasha hugged us before walking out the door, Lucifer right at her heels.

"She's an odd one but it works for her." He laughed.

"Yeah, you have no idea babe." I sat in his lap. "Just wait until she's comfortable around you."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"That's new." Gemma sidled up next to me, no doubt to run her mouth about Dasha.

"I guess." I shrugged and turned away from Happy and Dasha.

"First time I seen him claim her like that around here." She patted my arm. "You good with that?"

"I have no choice but to be." I sighed and took a small sip of beer before setting it off to the side. "You think this shit is a fluke? Like will they even last?"

"I don't think they'll last, she'll realize she wants things he can't give her." She crossed her legs. "She may claim no kids, but every woman wants at least one kid."

"Yeah, it's a lost cause. Her doctor thinks she has daddy issues and that's why she's with him." I frowned.

"I don't think those are daddy issues she's working out. She just likes bad boys and he happened to be the first one she came across." She laughed. "Now just imagine if you shift her attention to Jax."

"Jax is married. Drop that." I picked up my beer. "Plus she hasn't really shown any true interest in anyone other than Hap and Juice."

"I'll change that." She smirked as Dasha came over to us.

"So blonde." I touched her hair.

"Dope yeah?" She smiled. "You leaving too?"

"Yup." I nodded. "Gem will keep you company."

"Oh." She shrugged. "I was hoping you guys would leave Juice behind for me."

"Sorry darlin' can't spare my intelligence officer." Jax draped an arm over her shoulders. "Love the hair."

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes. "I got some things to talk to you about Jax. Maybe we can talk over breakfast tomorrow."

"Yeah, alright." He rubbed his beard and pulled away from her. "Text me then."

"Oh for sure." She smiled.

"What was that?" Gemma asked.

"You'll see." She laughed. "Be careful dad and look out for my boys."

"I'll be careful and I'll watch out for both dingbats." I hugged her. "Love you shithead."

"Love you too Herman." She smiled.

#

"This is bad." I rubbed my head as we stood around the van. "We're out numbered."

"We can do this." Jax said. "We strike now or lose this opportunity."

"We should have called in another charter." I looked at him. "This shit can go sideways really fast."

"You're either with me or against me Koz." He blinked.

"With." I resigned. There was no talking Jax out of a plan, no matter how much trouble it could cause for us.

"Alright then. You, Hap, Juice, and Rat got through the back." He pointed and then walked away towards the front with the other guys.

"I got a bad fucking feeling." I whispered to Hap.

"It's good brother. Let's just get this shit done and get back to the clubhouse." He nodded at me. "We got this."

We proceeded forward. Happy before me and Juice behind me. Then out of nowhere the door flew open and shots rang out. Happy went down hard first, followed by Juice while I kept shooting. I heard Dasha's voice in my head, 'Protect my boys'.

"Shit!" I dropped after gun fire Hap and Juice were hit. Hap worse off than the two.

"Get them in the van!" Chibs yelled. "Now!"

I hefted up Happy while Tig grabbed Juice. "Come on Hap, you gotta stay with me."

"Fuck." Bobby looked at Hap as I dropped him in the van. "He needs the hospital, I don't think Tara can help him this time."

"Shit." I nodded. "Let's get him to the hospital then."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Where is he?" I grabbed my dad as soon as I walked into the waiting room. "Where is he?"

"Surgery." He looked at me. "I'm so sorry baby."

I let him pull me into a tight hug. "It's not your fault."

"I tried." He nodded.

"I know." I sat down with him and held his hands. "He's going to he fine. He has to be. I need him to be."

"Yeah." He squeezed my shoulder.

"I hate waiting around." I frowned. "I have to do something. Can you take me home? I can't be here anymore. I just can't."

"Hey, hey, Dasha breathe." He held my face in his hands. "Breathe, you gotta be here for when he wakes up, he was here for you. Just relax and breathe, can you do that for me?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Okay."

"You're doing good." He whispered against my hair. "Really good."

"I don't know dad, I just, I really just don't know. When will he be out? I just want to sit with him alright. I mean dad, the man I love is in surgery and I feel so helpless and I don't want it to turn out badly. Like dad, can this be any worse?" I wiped at my eyes. "I don't even know what to do with myself right now."

"I'm here." He pulled me closer. "I got you Dasha, whatever happens we're in this together. It's going to take more than bullets to kill him that's for sure."

"Now I know what mom felt like every time you'd go off and have to handle club shit." I sighed. "She used to be a mess until you'd call and say you were fine. She said she worried more about you being an outlaw than she did you being a Marine."

"Yeah." He nodded and frowned. "You can get through this."

"I want to sit with him. What if they don't let me?" I closed my eyes and tilted my head back in an attempt to stop the tears.

"You gotta be strong for your Old Man." Gemma whispered. I opened my eyes and peeked at her.

"I'm being as strong as I can be." I blinked at her. "I don't want to hear your wisdom right now Gemma. I'm capable of keeping it together in front of Happy. Nothing wrong with me sitting in this corner and crying before I see him."

"Alright killer." She sat down. "Just making sure."

"I'm fine." I nodded. "Nothing that I can't handle. It could be a lot worse."

"Yeah." She nodded.

"How's Juice?" I pulled out my phone and checked my messages before looking back at her.

"Kicking." She wiped her bangs out of her face. "Tara fixed him up real nice."

"Do we have anyone here for a Happy Lowman?" The tall rail thin nurse asked. Everyone stood in response.

"I want to see him." I pushed through everyone. "He's mine and I don't care about rules, I'm seeing that man first."

"Follow me." The nurse started walking. "He's sleeping, the bullets missed major organs, there was just a lot of bleeding, that made everything seem worse than it actually was. We did remove all the slugs we found. He should be awake within the hour."

"How long will he be here?" I looked from her to his door.

"A day or so." She gave a small smile and I entered the room.

Happy was laying in the bed. He didn't look like he had just got out of surgery. He just looked like he was sleeping. That was fine with me. It gave the illusion that he was good and I needed that so I wouldn't go crazy.

"Even sleeping you look like you're going to kill someone." I chuckled and sat on the end of his bed. "I guess this is what my mom meant when she said you don't know fear until you see the person you're in love with hurt."

"How's he?" I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't even hear you come in." I didn't bother to take my eyes off Happy. "She said it didn't hit anything major all the bleeding just made it look worse than it actually was."

"That's good darlin'. I'm sorry about your Old Man. This is partially my fault. Bad judgment." Jax sat down in the chair. "He's a strong fucker."

"Yeah." I nodded. "He really is."

"You still wanna talk to me Dasha." His voice came out as a soft grunt as he stared at me.

"I just wanted to ask if I can bring Ima to the clubhouse." I looked at him. "I know the history is bad history but I like her and want to hangout and I'm at the clubhouse a lot and none of the Old Ladies care too much for me. I don't know why but I at least need a friend."

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"I'll keep her in line." I looked down at Happy. "Please Jackson?"

"Yeah." He relaxed into his chair further. "First time she fucks up, she's gone."

"Understood." I smirked. "It'll just be fun and games. I promise."

#

"Little girl." Happy rasped. "You're hurtin' me."

"Omg." I moved off of him. "I'm sorry babe. I fell asleep."

"You been here long?" He struggled to sit up against the pillows.

"Yeah since I find out. Seven hours ago. I've never been more scared to lose someone." I sighed. "You're an asshole."

He chuckled and held his stomach. "Blame the shooter not the victim."

"I was scared." I grabbed his hands. "I didn't think I loved you that much but today kind of proved me wrong."

"Thank God. I thought about you when shit went sideways." He rubbed my palms. "We're even. You scared me with your flames and I scared you with this shit."

"I don't want this to be a common occurrence of who can out scare who." I rubbed his cheeks. "You know you can wear a vest next time, just for me."

"Alright." He smiled. "I'll vest up for you next time."

"You went from death sleep to almost dead in a matter of a day." I laughed. "That cough syrup is safer than the outlaw life. I'm going to need to tell Malia that."

"I don't need you playing nurse anymore. I'm having withdrawal to that shit you dosed me with." He closed his eyes.

"We drink it mixed with sprite and candy in Houston. You've heard of lean right?" I frowned. "It's our party drink."

"That's something Juice would do." He scoffed. "That can't be healthy."

"It's not." I laughed. "I totally stopped it though."

"Good." He yawned. "Come lay next to me and we can sleep."

"Hospital slumber party. Right on." I slipped in next to him. "All we need now is a boner bonnet and we could get it in real quick."

"Don't say shit you don't mean Dasha." He squeezed my ass. "I can still go at it. Pain and all."

"I meant it." I laughed. "Let's sleep though. Love you Hap."

"Love you too Dasha." He kissed my forehead. Everything felt better but something still felt off about the whole situation at hand. I closed my eyes and tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head but couldn't shake the feeling that this wouldn't be the last time Hap would be in this bed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: thank you guys for the reviews. I appreciate them all. **_

_**We had some silliness and seriousness in this chapter. It all worked out well. Next chapter will definitely be entertaining because we'll see the Dasha/Ima dynamic plus a certain Son sees a certain Mayan with the Kozik sisters.**_


	34. Chapter 34 You're Next

**Sorry for the late update, this story wasn't going anywhere, so I had to rearrange some things so enjoy this small but important chapter.**

* * *

><p>Dasha POV<p>

"You look like you're in pain." I stared at Happy as he moved around on his bed in his dorm. "You could have went to my place, you practically live there anyways Hap."

"I know." He rasped. "I will be home later, I had club meetings to sit through today. Can you leave me alone so I can take a nap?"

"Yeah." I backed away from him. "I'll catch you around."

"Shit, I didn't mean to sound rude." He held his arms out. "Come here Dasha."

I walked over and sat on the bed and let him pull me into a hug. "It's fine."

"Nah, it at not fine babe." He kissed my forehead. "Sorry, I'm just in pain and want a nap."

"I can leave." I tried to stand up but he stopped me.

"Nap with me." He smiled. "I want you to nap with me please."

"Alright." I kicked off my wedges and laid next to him. "Only because I feel bad about you being stitched up."

"Lucky me." He rasped. "Thanks for being there and everything. Only ever had my brothers for me if I got hurt. Gemma said you wouldn't let anyone see me before you did."

"You're my man. I have to see you first." I snuggled up against him tighter. "Gemma tried to educate me on the proper way of being an old lady."

"What'd she say now?" He scoffed.

"That I'm not allowed to cry when you get hurt. I cried in the corner but didn't cry after that. I was just emotional because I never been through shit like this before." I yawned. "I stayed as strong as I could in the situation."

"I'm proud. You can cry, you're not used to this shit yet. I won't get mad unless you just start crying about everything." He laughed. "That's shit I won't ever fucking tolerate."

"Duly noted." I laughed. "You feeling better? Your cold gone?"

"Yeah, a little cough here and there but nothing too fucking serious." He yawned.

"Let's nap." I sighed. "I could use a short nap."

"Love you." He rasped.

"Love you too." I whispered.

#

"Hap!" I jolted at the sound of yelling coming from the other side of his door.

"Hap, wake up." I shook him and he woke slowly.

"What?" He looked at me as the pounding started again. "Shit." He slowly got up and pulled open the door.

"Church." Juice said. "Starts in five minutes."

"I'll be there." He nodded. "You good in here?"

"Actually, I gotta go run and grab some things." I stood.

"Nah, we're technically still on lockdown. I can't let you go without mw or a prospect. I don't trust them to protect you. So wait until I'm out of church. Got it?" He kissed my lips quickly. "Don't leave Dasha. I'm serious little girl."

"Alright old man." I laid back in bed and pulled out my phone. "I'll just have my thing dropped off here. Liven this place up."

"You're bringing Ima here?" He paused. "Rethink that shit. I'll see you when I'm out though. Behave."

"I'm staying here until she gets here. I really wanna hang out and if I have to have her come here then so be it. I cleared it with Jax, he said it was fine." I sat up. "Go, don't be late."

"Give me a kiss and I'll go." He smirked and I walked to him. I gave him a soft kiss and smiled.

"Go." I smacked his ass and followed him out and into the main part of the clubhouse. I pulled up a seat at the bar as he walked into Chapel in front of Jax who nodded at me. I smiled at him as he closed the doors.

"You and Jax look friendly." Lyla stared at me.

"Something like that." I shrugged. "How are you?"

"Good." She made a weird face. "You shouldn't flirt with Jax."

"Not flirting, don't plan to. Him and I are simply friends if even that." I blinked at her. "Why don't you like me?"

"I don't know you well enough to like you or dislike you. You're just young and you came here and people treat you like you're royalty." She crossed her arms.

"I don't know why they do. I just am Kozik's kid." I laughed. "Nothing special about me. I'm just a former stripper trying to make it in life."

"I'm a former porn star making a living directing porn." She frowned. "It's fun though. I like being behind the camera."

"I'm trying to find my way as an author. Making memories along the way is helping me with that. I have a friend coming, she's someone you know." I smirked. "Ima."

"Why would you hang out with her?" She rolled her eyes and stepped back. "I'm telling Gemma."

"Do it." I challenged her. "Gemma has no say in this."

"Gem." She backed away from me as my phone alerted me that Ima was on her way and would be here in a matter of minutes.

I walked outside and waited for Ima. Her white Lexus pulling into the lot slowly. Like she knew that there were three women inside that would attack her on sight. I was going to protect her from that though.

"Hey." I smiled as she got out of her car. Thankfully she was dressed down in leggings, sneakers, and a hoody.

"Hi." She hugged me. "This could be dangerous for me."

"I cleared it with Jax." I laughed. "I will protect you, don't worry."

"Brought my 38 just in case." She pulled it from her purse. "Tara told me to keep it close."

I grabbed her hand. "Yeah, well if it comes down to a fight I will fuck her up, no gun needed. You just gotta hold her hair or some shit, we can break the good doctor's nose."

She laughed. "You're cutthroat."

"Ehh, I try." I pulled open the door and she walked in first. I was close behind. The drama started instantly.

"What is she doing here?" Tara glared at us.

"I invited her." I shrugged. "She's my friend."

"She ain't no friend of this club." Gemma stepped forward. "I suggest she get her skanky ass out of here."

"Nah." I stepped between them. "Jax said I could invite her here. He gave me the okay."

"What?" Tara's face fell as I grabbed Ima and pulled her back towards Happy's room.

"They can't really say shit." I rolled my eyes as we walked into his room. "The guys are still in church."

"You're really with Happy? Why not Jax or even Juice?" She sat on the bed and stared up at me.

"Yeah I am. I love him. Jax and Juice are cool. First SAMCRO guys I met and made friends with." I smiled. "You really get Queen Tara mad enough to make Jax go after you?"

"Yeah." She frowned. "I haven't been around since. Not even making movies or anything."

"That sucks. Former porn star and former stripper!" I laughed as the door opened up and Jax stepped through before closing it.

"Jesus." He rubbed his face. "Dasha you're causing me hell out there."

"Sorry." I shrugged.

"It's alright, I mean keep her away from them and all that shit." He smirked. "I'll be back in here later."

"For what?" I looked at him.

"To talk to you." He walked back out of the room.

"He's so hot." Ima laughed.

"I guess." I shrugged and sat on the bws with her. "What should we do?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Cause some trouble?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I laughed.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Koz." Gemma said. "You know your daughter is tramping around with a porn star?"

"Jesus." I rubbed my face. "It's too early for this shit Gem. She's grown, got a problem with her friends talk to her about it. As far as I'm concerned I'm too sober to deal."

"It's causing problems." She looked at me. "You good with shit getting bad for her around here?"

"Is that a threat?" I looked at her. "I don't take well to people threatening my daughter."

"No." She scoffed.

"Dad." Dasha walked over to me. A blonde trailing behind her. "You know Ima right?"

"Hey Kozik." Ima smiled at me.

"Hey." I smirked. "No wonder why Gem is all pissy."

"Don't want porn pussy around here." Gemma glared at both blondes and I rolled my eyes.

"Jax, he said I could have her over." Dasha crossed her arms and put herself between Gemma and Ima. "I cleared it with the president, so if she leaves, I leave. I don't even care if there's a damn lockdown."

"There you go Gemma, you wanted the Prince and Princess to bond and look at that, they're bonding over porn pussy." I laughed.

"Not what I had in mind." She rolled her eyes and sauntered off towards Jax.

"We're going to go back to Hap's room and chill." Dasha looked at me. "You don't drink too much dad, going to need you sober."

"I'll take it slow." I held up my glass as she walked away.

"Good." She hugged me.

"You good with that?" I looked over at Happy who shrugged.

"Makes her happy." He rasped as he grabbed a bottle of water. His movements were slow and steady as he avoided straining his body.

"Still sore?" I frowned.

"Yeah, I snapped at Dasha this morning because of the pain." He sighed. "She looked offended. I apologized for it. She forgave me. We took a nap. Church woke us up."

"Dad!" Malia came walking into the clubhouse. "Where's Dasha?"

"Hap's room." I pointed to the back. "Why?"

"I stopped by the house, it looks like someone broke in and trashed the fucking place." She stared at me then looked at Happy. "I just wanted to make sure she was here, she didn't answer her phone and I got worried."

"You didn't bring what's his face here did you?" I stood and walked her towards the hallway.

"No. I'm not dumb. I was here alone." She pushed her hair out of her face as I opened the door. "Thank god you're safe." She grabbed her sister into a hug.

"What's wrong?" Dasha looked at the three of us. "Did someone die?"

"No, someone broke into the house and trashed the place." Malia looked at her. "It looks bad."

"What?" Dasha frowned. "I need to see my house now! I swear if my shit is all ruined I'm killing someone. Take us home now." She grabbed my leather and tugged me out of the door.

#

"Holy shit." I walked into the house. It was indeed trashed. The sofa was cut up, dishes busted. The TV smashed and on the floor. "Who the fuck did you piss off Dasha?"

"No one!" She yelled. "I only ever hang out with Hap or the band and now Ima." She progressed through the house and to her room. "Dad!"

I ran to her. "What?" I followed her gaze to her wall.

"You're next." I read the wall. "Next for what? You sign up for something?"

"I'm in danger and you make a joke." She scoffed and hugged me. "What if the people who went after Cole and shot Hap are after me? I don't want to die, I have resigned to thinking I'm doing this life thing right."

"I'll protect you Dasha." I hugged her. "I promise you that, we'll head back to the clubhouse, then we'll call church again and figure out how to handle this shit. No one threatens my kid."

"I'll let you take this kill." Happy looked at the wall.

"I want this stripper pole gone though Dasha." I looked at her then at Happy who seemed to frown at the statement.

"I workout with that." She complained.

"I don't need to know what you use it for. I just want it out of this goddamn house. Got it Dasha Elizabeth?" I glared down at her.

"First of all dad, my middle name isn't even Elizabeth!" She crossed her arms. "Second of all Elizabeth is Malia's middle name. Get your shit together."

"Dasha Nicole." I looked at her. "I feel like that's not right either." I watched her roll her eyes and leave the room. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. I had to figure out who was behind this message and put a bullet in their head.


	35. Chapter 35 Unspoken

Malia POV

"Dasha has a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Can you believe that?" I stared at Esai as we sat in the doctor's office.

"I can and do believe it." He laughed. "She seems like the type."

"What does that mean?" I glared at him all of a sudden becoming defensive of my older sister.

"She seems like the type to be into poly amorous relationships." He shrugged and stared at me. "I don't mean it as a slam or disrespect. She's just forward thinking and shit Malia."

"Yeah she is." I sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just an emotional wreck if you can't tell. Plus someone is trying to kill Dasha. She's on indefinite lockdown. I hope she doesn't go stir crazy."

"She'll be arright. Just make sure your dad knows to let her get out at times. To keep her spirit up." He held my hands and smiled his award winning smile.

"I will." I kissed his forehead.

"Kozik." The nurse spoke. "Malia Kozik."

"Right here." I stood with Esai and we walked towards the nurse. "Here goes nothing."

"Kozik is weird last name." He whipsered as we walked into the exam room. "What is it like Russian or something?"

"Babe, I don't know it may be German or Polish." I slid onto the exam table. The paper crinkling under my ass as I got comfortable. "This is weird. I've never been at an appointment with a guy before."

"Yeah well, after last time I told you I'd be here." He squeezed my knee. "My mom was excited that you let her go with you still. She talked my ear off about it."

"She got the pictures, all of them. I didn't even get a copy." I laughed. "I'm not even far along, the baby looks like a olive or something."

"Can we call the baby a mushroom or something?" He looked at his phone. "I don't like olives."

"Whatever you want baby." I smiled as Dr. Kip walked into the room a bright smile on her face.

"Miss Kozik, what brings you back so soon?" She sat on her stool.

"I do." Esai smiled. "I missed her first appointment, so I forced her to make a new one so I could be here for it."

"So this is Esai?" They shook hands. "Your mom was gushing about you. Baby pictures and all."

He blushed. "Sounds like her. So can I see the mushroom? I want to hear the heartbeat."

"Excited?" She smiled at him as she washed her hands. "We'll get it set right up."

"So excited. First kid." He nodded. "Hoping for a boy but I'll be good with a girl too."

"Malia, lay back and we'll get this going, it'll be warm this time." She held up the jelly before squirting some on my tummy. "There we go." She moved the device over my stomach and the heartbeat filled the room.

"Holy shit." Esai smiled. "Strong heartbeat. That's my boy."

"Or girl." I smiled as he held my hand.

"You're 9 weeks along. We'll be able yo tell the sex in 5 to 6 weeks." She looked at us. "The heartbeat is healthy, you look healthy. So I'm not worried about too much. This is your first pregnancy correct?"

"Yup." I nodded. "First and depending on how labor goes, it may be the last."

"Nah, we're having three more babe." He laughed. "I want a big family."

"We'll see." I chuckled.

#

"I can't believe this is the mushroom!" Esai held up the black and white picture for the hundreth time. "This is so cool! I'm going to show my pops."

"You're cute! All excited and what not." I laughed as we walked into the house he was looking to buy. "This is cute babe."

"Yeah, you like it ruca?" He grabbed my hand. "The rooms are a good size. It's modern so you got showers AND bath tubs that are separate. I think you'd like the backyard too."

"I love this." I walked out into the backyard. "They leaving the swingset and treehouse back here?"

"Yeah they are." He ran to the swings. "I always wanted one!"

"You're a goofball." I laughed and watched him swing. Gone was the biker, he was now just goofy Esai. "I love it, I do."

"Good, because I already signed the papers. So it was ours regardless." He hugged me. "Love you."

"Love you too." I smiled. "I cannot wait to tell Dasha!"

"She's going to live in the treehouse. I can see it now." He laughed and he was right.

"We had one when we were younger, she used to sleep in it every night in the summer." I smiled. "Then it had to get torn down and she lost a piece of herself. Cried for a week."

"She's just an emotional girl." He shrugged.

"So this is our home?" I sat on the grass. "I cannot wait to move in."

"I got the keys you can move in whenever you want to." He sat down next to me. "You good to hang out with my mom or go to Charming? I got to go handle club shit."

"I'll hang out with your mom. Charming is too stressful for me." I kissed him and stood. "I'm bout to eat all the chocolate cupcakes."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Dasha." Tig grabbed me and pulled me to the bar. "Sit, sit."

"What's up?" I looked at him and he was glaring at me with his piercing blue eyes.

"You and Ima?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Can you keep a secret?" I leaned in closer to him. "She's my girlfriend Tig."

"Hap, he turn you lesbian?" He laughed.

"Oh no, he's my boyfriend. I just have a girlfriend too. It works." I smiled.

"This intrigues me." He draped an arm over my shoulders. "Feel free to show me some love."

"I heard an interesting rumor about you Tig." I looked at him. "I heard you and corpses are a thing."

He shrugged. "It's a unique sensation Dasha."

"Really?" I nodded. "That's interesting. I need to know something else."

"What?" He looked down as Lucifer came running to us. His little puppy tongue hanging out as I scooped him into my arms.

"What's up with you and my dad? That's some serious tension between you two. It looks like you two are a bickering gay couple." I rubbed the puppy's ears and Tig swiped him from me.

"Blondie, he did some shit. Hurt my feelings really badly." He sighed. "We're working through the shit."

"He scorn you while he was on a bender?" I frowned. "Drugs were not his high point in life at all. I've basically watched that man grow up right along with me and my sister."

"Killed my dog Missy." He frowned. "He loved her too but it cut me deep."

"At least you got him more then a few days every few months. There would be times where he'd be away for six months and we wouldn't even get a call or anything. My mom would crawl out of her skin wondering if he was dead in a ditch. No one in the Sons knew about us so they wouldn't have known to call if he died." I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I wish we would have known, I think you would have had fun growing up with the club and my daughters. Dawn and Fawn." He smiled. "This dog is a good dog."

"Your daughters ever come around?" I took Lucifer back.

"Here and there." He stood. "Don't hold the club against your dad."

"I don't. I know he was keeping us away for the best." I smiled. "Feel free to play with Lucifer whenever you see him Tig. He seems to like you."

#

"D!" Jax shouted as he walked over to me. "I need to talk to you still."

"Alright." I nodded and followed him through the clubhouse and up the ladder to the roof. He sat on the vent and I followed suit.

"You write and draw?" He squeezed my knee. "I need you to draw up something for me, a memorial tattoo and then maybe some type of quote."

"You could have asked Happy to do this for you." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, but I want you to do it. I feel like we connect on some unspoken level. You feel it right?" He stared at me.

"Did Gemma put you up to being nice to me?" I frowned at the ground.

"Wait, what?" He turned my head to face him.

"She keeps trying to push us together. Something about the Prince needing a Princess." I shrugged. "It's a thing, she wants us together."

"My mom is crazy." He laughed. "I don't want that. I'm happy with Tara."

"I'm happy with Happy." I smiled. "This just went awkward."

"It happens, so you going to draw the piece for me?" He stood.

"Yeah, but who's the memorial for?" I looked out across the lot and saw Happy and my dad pulling in.

"My dad JT, he was first 9 and president before Clay." He frowned as he lit a cigarette.

"No smoking around me!" I laughed. "I don't like the smell, it triggers panic attacks."

"Sorry." He dropped the cigarette. "Keep this piece between us alright?"

"For sure." I followed him back down into the clubhouse. A familiar chorus assaulting my ears. I walked back into the open space and the Pretty Reckless was pouring through the speakers. "This is my song!"

"It's my favorite band." Ellie looked at me as Ima sat down on the floor with us.

"I sing in a cover band for this band." I laughed. "You sing or play?"

"I listen." She laughed.

"I play guitar and drums." I stood. "I can show you a few chords on the guitar, I have mine with me."

"Really?" She nodded.

"Yeah. I'll go grab them. Ima come help me, yeah?" I walked towards the door and out to the truck.

"You really going to play nice with little Winston?" She paused at the front of the truck.

"Yeah, you know it's a thing to be nice. Just because I don't see eye to eye with Lyla doesn't mean I won't get along with Ellie or others." I shrugged and pulled the three guitars from the backseat. "I get along with most of the croweaters here too. Weird but it works out."

"Yeah, I see that." She grabbed one of the guitars from me. "I don't know why but I can't play nice, I always have to be in charge and on top."

"You gotta check the ego at the door around here. I learned that right away. It's Gemma, Jax, Tara, then Lyla. I'm just Kozik's daughter." I laughed as we walked back in to Ellie. "You gotta earn your spot or luck out and have Gemma take you under her wing."

"But Gemma seems to like you." She sat down and handed Ellie the guitar. "I'm never going to be liked around here again."

"Well, you know I like you so you got one friend. Even though everyone thinks we're a couple. Just play along with that shit. I told Tig, said it was a secret so I want to see if he keeps it to himself." I rolled my eyes. "Alright, you two ready to learn how go play guitar?"

"Why do you have three?" Ellie blinked at me as she looked at the white guitar in her lap.

"Because I'm cool like that." I shrugged. "Those two are electric and mine is acoustic."

"This one is cool." She ran her fingers over the strings. "You're awesome for doing this."

"Well you know us club kids gotta stick together." I smiled. "Let's get to this, maybe we'll be able to play a song together in a month or so."

"Baby Kozik!" I looked toward the door at the shouting and saw SAMTAC walking in.

"Hey Ninja." I gave him a huge hug. "How you been?"

"You look good. Love the hair. I've been good. Full patch now." He tugged on his kutte.

"Wow!" I smiled. "Congratulations."

"It's the good life." He chuckled. "Heard you were down here causing a ruckus."

"Someone is trying to kill me or whatever." I frowned. "Trashed my house and everything."

"I'll protect you." He nodded. "Who's your friend?"

"That's Ima." I waved her over. "Ima this is my friend Ninja. He's from the Tacoma charter."

"Hey." She smiled and shook his hand. "You're handsome."

"That's my cue to leave." I backed away and sat with Ellie. "You pick a song you want me to teach you?"

"My Medicine by The Pretty Reckless." She waved her laptop around. "I like that song, seems simple."

"It's simple enough. Let's get to rocking out then." I smirked.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Does Dasha have any enemies?" Lee asked as he sat in church with us.

"Yeah, you're cunt of a daughter." I glared at him. "We couldn't have gotten SAMTAZ here?"

"They're coming here too." Jax said. "I suggest you guys put your shit aside so we can stop whoever is after Dasha before they get her."

"I can put it aside." Lee looked at me.

"I can't." I shrugged. "I don't like people putting my daughter's business out for everyone to know."

"We know." Jax looked at me.

"That's because she chose to tell you all about it. In Tacoma it blew up and everyone found out." I rubbed my eyes. "Let's just ask Dasha about who she knows and all that.

"Get her in here." He nodded at Juice. "Now."

"What?" Dasha appeared in the room with Juice. Dressed in leggings and a sports bra. I saw Happy shift in his seat as the guys stared at her. "I was working out, he didn't let me grab a shirt or anything."

"We need to know who your friends are D." Jax looked at her.

"That's easy, Ima, my band and this club." She frowned. "I'm a loser, I don't make friends easily too often."

"You make anyone mad?" Tig stared at her.

"I mean, besides Tara and Lyla? No. I tend to get along with people. Except the waitress at the diner. She called me a Prissy Princess and I sort of snapped at her." She crossed her arms. "I don't see why she'd want me dead. There was this weird dude at a gig one night, he kept watching me."

"Didn't think to mention that to me?" Happy glared at her.

"No, because Malia's boyfriend gave him a beat down." She tapped her foot. "You don't think that could be the issue Dad?"

"No." I shook my head. "He's a good guy. I think this person has Charming ties, because someone from Oakland isn't going to know where you live."

"Oh, there was the thing at that charity event that I forgot to mention because it didn't seem too important. There was this weird guy asking me why I was dating Happy and not a nice white guy." She shrugged. "Don't get mad, I just genuinely shrugged it off as him being a weirdo."

"Anything else you forgot to mention to us?" I glared at her.

"Where do I even start?" She frowned. "I'm kidding, I mean besides Cole I never really got into shit here. We exchanged choice words plenty of times. She threatened me, I threatened her. She trashed my car, I'm still trying to fix it. I mean she's dead, who killed her? Who knows, but I'm sure I'm not in any real danger."

"Danger is real Dasha." Happy looked at her. "I got shot."

"I know, so did Juice but that wasn't what I was talking about." She rolled her eyes. "I mean, why would I even be a target for someone? Maybe it wasn't a message for me, what if the message was intended for Malia?"

"Shit." I rubbed my neck. "That didn't even cross my mind."

"Can I leave? I'm very uncomfortable right now. I feel my anxiety rising and I don't want to pass out like last time." She moved closer and closer to the door.

"Yeah." I waved her off. "Call your sister and tell her to get down here."

"For sure." She walked out of the room and I couldn't help to think about it all. Dasha seemed like the obvious target but if someone from out of town broke in they wouldn't know it was Dasha who lived there more than Malia did.

* * *

><p>Let me know what you thought. (:<p> 


	36. Chapter 36 Soft Kiss

Dasha POV

"That was amazing." I rolled off Happy. "You're getting better at this."

He pushed me and I fell off the bed. "You're a bitch." He laughed. "I'm the best you ever had little girl."

"I'm going to let you think that." I tugged my clothes back on. "How much longer do I gotta stay here, this staying quiet shit it beyond difficult for me?"

"I don't know, Koz took the problem to the Mayans. They're looking in to shit that could be going on because of Malia and her boyfriend." He sat up and looked at me. "You good?"

"I'm fine. Are you good?" I crossed the room and pulled my sneakers on. "You seem annoyed."

"I'm annoyed, this bed is too small to fuck you in." He smirked.

"I know." I laughed. "I have back problems from this set up."

"What have you been drawing in there that's so top secret?" He pointed to my sketchbook.

"A commissioned piece." I shrugged. "It's confidential, I can't even show it to you babe."

"Alright." He stood and pulled on his clothes.

"I have a question. It's been fucking with my head for awhile now." I stared as he buckled his belt.

"What?" He frowned.

"Why did that croweater pick you to peg her pregnancy on?" I rolled my eyes. "Doesn't make any sense at all to me. Like at all."

"Ask her." He rubbed my back. "I'm over her and her shit."

"I will." I nodded. "Again. Last time our talk failed miserably."

"Be forceful or some shit." He pulled the door open.

"I think you're looking for the word assertive there." I walked out in front of him and slammed into Tara.

"Sorry." I stooped and handed her the papers I made her drop.

"Whatever." She stormed off.

"I swear she's a fucking cunt." I walked after her. "What's your problem with me Tara for real?"

"I don't trust you." She spun around and glared at me. "Just stay away from me."

"Okay." I turned and walked towards Jax and Tig. I felt her right behind me. "Jackson."

"Yeah?" He looked at me then to Tara. "What's wrong now?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to show you that thing." I tapped my sketchbook.

"Oh." He stood. "Alright, let's go into chapel." His hand fell on my lower back as he led me into the room and shut the doors behind us. Making sure they were secure.

"Look." I opened the book. "I mean it's a rough draft, I have more to add if you want me to."

He picked it up and looked at it. "No, this is perfect. I love it." He pulled me into a tight hug. "You're the best." He kissed my lips softly.

"Thanks." I stared at him. "That kiss wasn't necessary though."

"Yeah, I've been wanting to do that since the diner in Tacoma." He rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry if it was too forward."

"I am with Happy, Jax." I stared at him. "Plus, you said you were happy with Tara. I don't think that this would work between us anyways."

"I think it could work." He grabbed my hands. "I'm the Prince, you're the Princess. You're cut out for this way more than Tara is. You seen her out there."

"This is heavy." I frowned. "I don't know what to say."

"Say that you'll think about it. If it doesn't work with Hap, I'll be around." He smirked. "Thanks for this though. I appreciate it."

"Welcome." I smiled. "I don't know about this whole thing between us. I mean we should really talk outside of the club. In actual private."

"This place is clean darlin'." He held my hand. "We have a connection, you can't deny that."

"I love Happy." I smiled.

"I love Tara." He smiled. "Doesn't mean we can't try us."

"I think that is exactly what it means." I laughed. "I don't know, this is heavy, like I said. I will give it thought if Hap and I ever break up."

"Fair enough." He kissed my cheek. "Thanks again." He ripped the drawing out of the book.

"Welcome." I rolled my eyes at his reaper as we walked out of the chapel.

"I want to know what she's showing you that's so top secret." She blocked him from walking. "You trying to sleep with Jax Dasha?"

"No." I looked at her then too Jax before feeling her fist connect with my nose. It cracked and I felt blood gush. "Omg! You fucking hit me!" I dropped my sketchbook and covered my nose. "Why would you do that?" I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.

"Have Chibs look at her." Jax said to Happy as he grabbed a hold of Tara's hands.

"No!" I shook my head. "Where's my dad?"

"Relax." Happy rasped. "Are you crying Dasha?"

"Yeah, it's a natural reaction to having my nose broken for no fucking reason. Tara is a psycho and she needs to go to fuckin' jail." I pushed away from him. "No one fuckin' follow me!"

#

"It's broken." Ima poked at my nose with a long acrylic fingernail. "Tara did this shit?"

"Yeah!" I frowned. "All I did was give Jax that drawing he asked me to do and Tara punched me. I literally started to cry!"

"Poor baby." She pulled me into a hug. "You're going to have to go to the hospital."

"I know!" I shook my head. "I don't want to go to the hospital. It's the last place I want to fucking be. I've been sitting up here since it happened."

"Do you want me to go beat her ass for you? I will do that. I hate that bitch." She smirked. "I at least think you should get someone to reset your nose, it's looking a little crooked."

"Go get Chibs then." I sighed.

"He doesn't like me." She shook her head.

I stuck my head into the opening and looked around. "CHIBS! CHIBS! CHIBS! CHIBS! CHIBS! CHIBS! CHIBS!"

"Jesus Christ." He looked up. "What're you interrupting my drinking for?"

"I want you to reset my nose." I climbed down. "Please?"

"Aye." He nodded and grabbed my face. "On three. 1...2鈥 "

"Fuck." I heard a crack. "You said three?"

"I lied." He shrugged. "Get some ice on it and you'll be fine lass."

"Promise?" I looked up at him as I followed him to the bar.

"Yes." He hugged me. "You took the hit like a champ."

"Then I cried." I laughed. "I just never got hit by a grown ass woman. All I was doing was giving Jax what he asked for which reminds me, where's my sketchbook?"

"Jax has it." He handed me a bag of ice. "Keep it on your face."

"I plan to." I nodded. "This is cold as fuck."

"Where is she?" Malia came bursting into the clubhouse. "Omg! Did you hit her back?"

"No." I squealed. "I fucking cried!"

She pulled me into a hug. "I will beat her ass, where is she?"

"I don't know." I pulled her into the hall. "Leave this shit alone, it's not good for you right now. Ima!"

"What?" She climbed down from the roof. "You need me to hit her now?"

"No." I shook my head.

"I'm going to anyway so it's on." Malia took off her earrings and tied up her hair. Ima following suit. "Good thing I wore sneakers."

"I didn't." Ima frowned.

"Take mine." I slipped my sneakers off and kicked them to her.

"We need to lure her out." Ima looked at us. "She won't just come out unless she has to."

"We knock on the door, say one of the guys is bleeding, when she rounds the corner I'll grab her and shit pops off." Malia said. "I'm going to show this bitch that when she messes with one she messes with us both."

"So we're jumping her?" I frowned. "I don't think we should. I mean it could cause a lot of shit. I'm stuck here and you two are free to go whenever."

"You want to let people get away with hitting you Dasha? You want everyone to think it's okay to pick on you?" She looked mad.

"No." I shook my head. "I just don't want to be the pariah here. I want to keep things as peaceful as possible."

"I'll hit her." She sighed.

"You just like to fight Malia." I rolled my eyes. "I can't stop you from doing what you want."

"Good." She banged on Tara's door and then ran off.

"Very mature." Tara stuck her head out of the door and glared at me and Ima.

"One of the guys is hurt and they need you." I shrugged. She came out of the room in a hurry and as soon as she rounded the corner Malia laid her out.

"You don't fuckin' touch my sister!" She slammed Tara's face into the floor. "You want to hit someone, then hit me you stupid ass smug bitch."

"Break it up!" Happy pulled Malia up by the back of her jeans. "You go outside." He helped Tara up.

"No!" Malia reeled back and smacked Tara again. "I'm letting all you bitches know right now, you fucking lay hands or disrespect my sister you're going to have to deal with me. She's the lover and I'm the fighter."

"Calm down." I finally pulled her back. "She's got the message."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"So what the fuck happened?" I looked at the three blondes sitting on the boxing ring.

"Tara broke my nose." Dasha shrugged

"I jumped Tara." Malia smiled. "See, war wounds and everything." She waved her hands around.

"I was going to help, but she had it under control." Ima frowned.

"Better together than we are apart." Dasha and Malia hugged.

"Jesus. I don't want you attacking Tara. I know she hurt your sister but next time leave it the fuck alone." I glared at Malia. "We don't need trouble here, we need peace!"

"I don't agree but alright. Dad you know I'm fucking protective over Dasha. I'm going to fucking react when someone touches her." She crossed her arms. "I'm not with letting Tara get away with hitting Dasha for no goddamn reason."

"There's a pecking order." I rubbed my face.

"I don't give a fuck." Dasha stood up. "Fuck it all, my face is fucked up dad, I just lost three jobs because of it. I didn't even do shit! I was giving Jax what he asked for and Tara made a shitty ass assumption and broke my nose over it. I'm devastated right now dad. Do you think I deserved this." She waved her hand over her face. "I don't think I did, maybe I could have approached him at a different time but I wanted his opinion before I finalized the drawing. He asked me for a fucking drawing and I got a busted nose."

"Dasha." I pulled her into a hug as she started to cry. "I'm sorry you're having a hard time in this club life, sorry, I'm really sorry about it."

"It's not the club dad, it's just the women of the men." She wiped her eyes on my shirt. "I just don't get why they don't like me. I've given them no reason not to."

"You'll be fine. You can go home. The prospects cleaned up. This situation isn't a Sons problem after all." I kissed her head. "You, Malia, go home to your boyfriend and stay there."

"I have to tell you something before I go though dad. In private." Malia grabbed my hand and dragged me towards her car.

"What is it?" I held her hands.

"I don't know how to say this in an easy way dad, I'm pregnant." She looked up at me. "I know it's not ideal but I'm happy and he's happy. He got us a house in the suburbs and everything dad."

"Wow." I looked at her. "Okay, now we really have to protect you. The message in the house wasn't for Dasha. It was for you. Esai made some enemies and now it's a Mayans problem. I'll put a tail on you so you get back to him safely. You listen to him, stay inside."

"Alright." She hugged me. "I love you dad."

"I love you too you little shit." I kissed her head.

#

"Dasha." I poked my head into the hallway. "You and Hap decent? I want you to meet my lady."

"Lady?" Dasha rushed out of her room. Happy on her heels.

"Yeah." I smiled. "Just made it official today."

"Where is she?" She bounced around my feet.

"Living room, calm down. You actually know her." I rubbed my neck and grimaced.

She peeked out. "Holy shit, you're dating my fuckin' doctor? What the actual fuck dad?"

"I thought you'd be happy." I smiled at her.

"No. Why would I be? Is this why she started taking more of an interest in me in the past sessions?" She glared at Ashley. "I want a new doctor."

"Dasha." I grabbed her arm. "Don't be like this."

"Dad, she was my favorite doctor I've ever had and you splooged all over it. Am I supposed to be happy about that? I'm happy for you but what about me? Now I have to see an entirely new doctor and explain my shit all over again. It's tiring." She walked in her room and closed the door.

"Let me talk to her." Ashley came over and knocked on the door. "Dasha, let me in please."

"No." She opened the door. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. How dare you fuck my dad! He's my dad! Doesn't that cross some type of patient line or some shit. Fuck I'm so upset I keep fuckin' cussing."

"Leave her alone." Happy glared at Ashley. "I don't want my girl more upset than she already is."

"You're her boyfriend? You're a little too old don't you think?" She looked up at him. "I think she does have daddy issues."

"The fuck?" He gave her a disgusted look. "I think you're the one with fuckin' issues. You're not coming in here and disrespecting her."

"I'm trying to help." She backed away. "I didn't mean to offend."

"It's no big deal." Dasha poked her head back out. "You need to relax, I would like a recommendation for a new doctor."

"I think we're all jumping the gun." I said. "I don't see why she can't be your doctor and my lady."

"Um! Because she will talk to you about me and you will talk to her about me. She'll say some doctor shit and you'll be like oh hmm, I didn't notice that. Then you'll start watching me and getting paranoid. Like seriously, she looked at Happy and assumed I had to be with him because of daddy issues. No I liked him since I first saw him. He's fucking sexy as hell. Okay! When I saw him I was thinking with my pussy!" She stepped out of the room.

"I didn't need to know that." I shook my head. "I don't want to know it now. This will work. We won't talk about you Dasha."

"Alright." She pulled Happy into her room. "You guys can leave us alone now. Got some daddy issues to work out with him apparently."

"That could have been bad." I laughed. "She reacted better than expected."

"That was a good reaction? That man is scary as fuck." She sat on the sofa next to me. "I'm going to find her a good replacement doctor I promise."

"Let's worry about that later. Let's just relax and watch this TV." I turned it on. "Scary movie or what?"

"Thriller." She draped her legs over my lap. "This is a nice house."

"Thanks, recently painted and redecorated." I rubbed her legs. "You got really nice thighs."

"Thanks." She kissed my neck. "You have really nice everything."

"I know." I sighed and settled into the sofa. I knew it would be a matter of time before Dasha got used to Ashley being around.

"Hey." Happy sat down in the recliner. "She hit the bed and knocked out cold."

"Her medicine working for her?" Ashley looked at us both.

"Yeah." I smiled. "She hasn't had too many mood swings lately."

"Nope." Happy shook his head.

"You don't think you're too old for Dadha?" She looked at him.

"This shit again?" He rolled his eyes. "No I don't."

"You're not concerned that she may change her mind and want kids and marriage?" She blinked at him.

"If she changes her mind." He scoffed. "She ain't changing her mind. That girl is solid."

"I don't think it's fair for you to expect her to sacrifice everything for you and your life but you don't sacrifice anything for her. Would you at least consider marrying her if she wanted that?" She crossed her arms. Instantly going from Ashley to Dr. Linden.

"Look, I don't do kids, I don't do marriage. I made that very clear to Dasha. She understands that." He looked at me. "You feel the same Koz? You think I'm wrecking her future?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "She's got what twenty years left with you? We're not going to live forever. So what the fuck happens when she wakes up at forty and you're dead and she realizes that she should have been with someone her age and had kids. She's going to be alone when you're gone. Can you live with that thought?"

"It's not my fault that she doesn't want kids. That was her own decision." He stood. "You two got anything else to say to me?"

"If you love her, truly love her. Let her go and be a twenty three year old." She looked up at him. "If it's meant to be, you'll end up back with her."

"Yeah." He rubbed his head and walked off.

"You think he'll do it?" I stared at her.

"Yeah." She nodded. "He loves her enough."

"She's going to be heartbroken." I frowned. I half wanted him to leave her the other half didn't want to see what the aftermath would be like.

* * *

><p>Let me know your thoughts (:<p> 


	37. Chapter 37 Little Girl

Malia POV

"You handle the club business? I'm really tired of cupcakes now." I groaned as I shifted on the sofa.

"Yeah, we found the person who was behind that shit and handled it." Esai smiled. "You're free to roam around, as long as you're not doing anything dangerous."

"Never. All I want to do is hair! I miss going to work and making women feel good with a cut and color." I smiled. "You know the feeling?"

"Yeah I do." He nodded. "I feel the same when I go to handle club business."

"I talked to your dad earlier. He stopped by." I stood up. "Dropped off an envelope for you."

"Oh yeah?" He stood and walked over to me. "Hmm." He turned over the heavy brown envelope.

"Cash?" I tapped it.

"We'll see." He carefully untaped the envelope. "Yeah it's cash." He dumped the contents onto the counter.

"Read the note!" I handed him the notecard that fluttered out.

"Use this for the baby." He turned it over. "Love Dad."

"Aw! Our first baby gift babe! The mushroom will be set unless you want to save that for college or something." I attached the note on the fridge with a Hello Kitty magnet.

"We can do whatever. I'm just shocked is all. It's a generous gift." He rubbed his face. "Hide it somewhere."

"We need a cookie jar!" I looked around the kitchen and found an oatmeal container. "Close enough."

"You're a dork." He poured the oatmeal into a baggy while I stuffed the cash into the bottom.

"There." I placed it on the back of the fridge. "We got a stash of cash for the mushroom."

"I don't even know why we have oatmeal, I don't eat it." He frowned.

"Me either." I shrugged. "I don't even remember buying it."

"Weird." He knocked his knuckles on the counter. "Can we name the kid after me if the mushroom is a boy?"

"Nah, we have to name him Herman." I smiled.

"Seriously?" He gaped at me.

"No!" I laughed. "Babe, I would never do that to our kid. Yeah we can name the mushroom Esai if it's a boy and Esmee if it's a girl."

"Damn, we're good at parenting already. Got the names picked out and everything!" He smiled. "Wait until I tell mom."

"I could go for some donuts actually." I smirked. "Glazed donuts."

#

"This is amazing!" I laughed as I eyed the giant glazed donuts in the case. "Why aren't all donuts this size?"

"This place is for fat people." He whispered against my back.

"And me." I pointed to the chocolate glazed donut. "Dasha would love this place too."

"Skinny girls eat almost as much as fat men." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, give her a chocolate one and I'm going to take the regular sized maple bar."

"Pussy." I squeezed his side.

"I'm watching my weight. My ruca doesn't like fat boys." He laughed as he paid. "Ain't that right?"

"You're right." I nodded. "I like your body now. So sexy."

"Can you picture me as a fat guy?" He handed me the box with my donut in it. "See the big donut ain't even portable."

"It doesn't matter! Fat ones need love too!" I picked it out of the box and took a huge bite. "I'm full already."

"Didn't even finish half of it." He held the door open. "You better finish it for dinner or somethin'."

"I will maybe." I laughed. "Thanks for this donut trip. I appreciate it."

"Anything for you Malia. You're my lady. I'm gonna treat you right." He kissed my nose. "Love you."

"Love you too." I smiled.

SOASOASOA

Happy POV

I couldn't shake the previous night's conversation. After Dasha had fallen asleep I had joined Kozik and Ashley in the living room. Ashley of course kept talking about Dasha and how we shouldn't be together. I was beginning to think she was right.

"Dasha." I walked out into the backyard and found her on the grass. Lucifer running around her in tight circles as she wrote in her journal.

"Hey." She looked up briefly. "You sleep good?"

"I slept good." I sat down across from her. "I've been thinking."

"That doesn't sound too good." She closed her journal and looked at me. "What's on your mind?"

"You fell asleep." I started. "I went out to hang out with your dad and Ashley. She was talking about us and our relationship. I think she's right."

"I do not have daddy issues Happy." She glared at me her jaw tensing up.

"I know." I rubbed my face. "It's the age difference, it's not sitting right with me anymore Dasha. I don't think this is fair, I don't think you realize what you're getting into or saying when you claim you don't want kids."

"I know what I'm saying." She looked at me. "What are you getting at right now?"

"I love you Dasha but I don't think we should be together. I think you need to find someone to marry and have kids with. I want you to have a long future." I held her hands but she pulled away from me.

"You're breaking up with me?" She bit her lip to stop the quivering. "I don't want to break up."

"I think we need to." I stood up and looked down at her. "This shit is hard enough Dasha. Maybe Gemma is right to push you towards Jax."

"Shut up!" She yelled as she stood. "I don't want to break up! I love you Hap. So much!"

"I know." I looked at her. My resolve going soft for a second. "I just don't want to be with you anymore."

"You don't mean that!" She slapped me. "You're just doing what the doctor and my dad think you should do! What about what I want?"

"You're young, you don't know what you want little girl." I caught her hand as she tried to slap me again. "Go out, date, fall in love, have kids, get married."

"I don't want that shit." She cried. "I want you Happy. I want us!"

"I'm sorry." I stepped away. "I just gotta let you go and live. I can't hold you back Dasha."

"This isn't fair!" She dropped to the ground. "I don't want this! I don't want us to break up. Why are you doing this to me? What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing." I rubbed her back but she smacked my arm away. "It's just I can't bring you down Dasha. I can't ask you to sacrifice things you may actually want down the line. I ain't getting younger. I'm not going to want kids or marriage."

"I don't want any of that shit." She looked up at me. "We were just fine! Just leave me. Take the dog and all your shit and just leave then Happy."

"I'm sorry." I frowned.

"Yeah so am I." She glared at me. "Just leave now. Take Lucifer and your shit and leave."

"Alright." I picked up the puppy. "This is for the best."

"Whatever." She wiped at her eyes. "I won't ever understand this Happy. I thought you loved me."

"I do." I looked back at her. "This is why I'm doing this."

"You're not supposed to make the woman you claim to love cry." She hissed. "It's painful."

"I know." I turned away and walked inside. I knew she was going to take it bad. I knew she'd cry but seeing her that way almost made me change my mind.

#

"What's your problem?" Lyla looked at me from behind the bar.

"Dasha and I broke up." I grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels. "It sucks, but it is what it is."

"Sorry Hap." She came around the bar and sat down next to me. "Shots?"

"Yeah." I smirked as I watched her line up shot glasses.

"Just returning the favor, you did shots with me during my time of need, now I'm doing them with you." She poured the liquor into the glasses. "Bottoms up!"

"Hap!" Kozik strolled in. "You hear from Dasha this morning?"

"She was at the house when I left." I looked at him.

"Call her for me? She won't answer my calls or texts." He sat down next to Lyla.

"Her and I broke up. She won't answer my calls either." I frowned.

"What?" He stood up. "You broke up with her?"

"I did what I felt was good for her. Be happy, you didn't want us together anyways." I stood and grabbed the bottle. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"He dumped me." I stared at myself in the mirror. "I can't believe that shit." I wiped at my eyes.

"He was too old and scary." Ima said as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. "You'll get through this."

"I don't know. I'm in love with him Ima." I sighed. "I don't know why he would do this shit. I didn't do anything to piss him off. My dad and his girl put this shit in his head."

"Talk to them." She urged. "They shouldn't have meddled."

"I can't even deal with this shit. I just want to leave for awhile." I looked at her. "I'm going to Los Angeles. I have enough cash to stay a month. Do you want to come with me?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I'll pay for half. We need a rental or something. So no one can track us down."

"Yeah." I smiled at her. "Fuck Happy, fuck Charming let's get out of here And have fun."

"Yes! Pack and then we'll stop by my place for me to pack then we can blow this place." She clapped her hands together. "Girl time!"

"Hell yeah." I forced a smile as I pulled out my luggage. "This can be fun."

"Where's the dog?" She looked around as she helped me stuff my shirts into the suitcase.

"I gave him back to Happy." I frowned. "I couldn't keep him."

"Aww he was cute." She finished my packing for me.

"Are there any Sons charters in L.A?" I started dropping shoes into the second suitcase.

"San Bernardino." She frowned. "We just need to stay away from that county. If no one knows where you went we will be fine."

"I'll ditch my phone then, pick up a new one when we get there. I'll pick up a burner though for the ride down then ditch it too." I stood. "I'm all set. Let's get out of this hell hole. So much for being in love, this shit is painful as all hell. I swear it is. I'll never get over this." I stuffed my medication into my purse.

"You sure about going off the radar?" She stared at me as we pulled the suitcases through the house. "I think your dad would go insane if you just disappeared."

"Yeah, I need time though." I pulled open the front door. "As long as I don't do anything too stupid we'll be fine."

"Alright." She hugged me. "L.A here we come! Beaches and bikinis!"

"Woo!" I cheered as we dropped the suitcases into the backseat of her car.

#

Three suitcases, a rental car, a pit stop, and a new phone we finally made it to our hotel and checked in. "Eight hours of pure fun." I dropped onto the big king sized bed.

"I'm loving this place." Ima looked out the window. "We're so close to the beach! Look!"

"Wow." I admired the view. "I think I could actually move here. It's gorgeous. This is the Cali I pictured in my head. Charming was hell."

"That it was." She laughed. "I'm starving. We should go out and eat."

"I'm down, I just want to change into something cute." I unzipped my suitcase and pulled out a crop top, spandex skirt, and sneakers. "I think it's warm enough to show off most of my ink."

"Maybe we'll run into a celebrity." She started redoing her make up. "Bound to bump into at least one."

"This trip is going to kill me! I can't document it on social media because I want to be under the radar." I wiggled into the skirt. "This looks good?"

"Fits you like a second skin, I fucking hate you bitch." She laughed. "I need to get one like that."

"I got a black skirt if you want to try it." I held it out for her.

"Not happenin'." She waved it off. "I don't have the body for it. You have hips and ass."

"Don't even remind me." I frowned. "It's because my mom had hips, ass, and thighs. I feel like if I lay down and have quiet time I'm going to start bawling uncontrollably about getting dumped. My heart hurts and my eyes burn."

"You need vodka." She picked up the phone. "You think they have liquor they can deliver."

"I don't drink. It fucks with my head too much and I can't mix it with my new medicine." I pulled on the crop top. "Do I look L.A yet?"

"Very." She smiled. "Very Venice Beach."

"Whatever that means, I was going for Long Beach." I laughed. "I need to go there."

"We have time." She let her hair down. "You using the name Dasha while we're down hear. I'm going by Jade."

"I'm going by Jenn." I smiled. "It's a cute ass name for me."

"It'd be better if you were a brunette." She teased my hair with her fingers. "Here's to Jade and Jenn, may this adventure be one to fucking remember forever!"

"Adventure time!" I smiled. "To healing my broken heart." I pulled on my sneakers. I knew a trip to L.A was impulsive. I knew it couldn't end up well when I got home. Disappearing for a month without a single word wasn't smart but I just needed to be away from Happy and his stupid face.

* * *

><p><em><strong>You guys! Don't hate me for that! It was needed! It'll come around I promise you that! Everything can't be rainbows and unicorns for the couple! <strong>_

_**Let me know what you thought. (;**_


	38. Chapter 38 Psycho

Dasha POV

"This is so dumb." I whispered to myself as I walked down the street towards the tattoo parlor. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I was unable to focus on a single subject. My mind was too tormented from being dumped by Happy a week ago. "Here goes nothing." I pushed my sunglasses on top of my head.

"What's up?" The guy behind the counter eyed me. "You got an appointment?"

"No, was hoping I could walk in and get new ink." I smiled at him. "Do I need to make an appointment?"

"No." He shook his head. "I'm Ryan."

"I'm Jenn." I smiled and followed him towards the chairs.

"What're you looking for today?" He sat down on his stool and I took the chair.

I pulled off my hoody. "I want psycho tattooed on my wrist." I pointed at the spot.

"Didn't expect you to have so much ink Jenn." He pointed at my right arm. "Impressive."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I want it in like an Old English script." My goal was to have it look like Happy's but more distinct and predominant.

"Story behind it?" He pulled on his gloves and turned away from me to set up.

"I'm a psycho." I chuckled. "Bipolar and whatnot." I raked my fingers through my hair frowning at the bleached blonde locks. My hair was going to have to change too. New chapter, new looks.

"You gorgeous ones are always a little psycho." He smiled at me. "We doing black or color?"

"Royal blue." I smiled. "Or however close you can get to it."

"I can do it." He smirked. "You sure about putting it somewhere so on display? Once I ink you, there's no going back."

"I'm positive." I smiled. "I own up to my crazy, plus it has a deeper meaning to it as well. Just ink me before I find another artist."

"Fiesty too." He wiped down my wrist. "Don't move, I'll get it stenciled out perfectly. Maybe we can get it to look like a bracelet. You cool with that? A diamond closure?"

"That'd be dope." I nodded. "I do like diamonds and roses."

"You look familiar." He stared hard at my face. "You sure your name is Jenn?"

"I'm as sure as I'm sane." I watched him start to sketch out the design.

"So, what's your name? I feel dumb for forgetting it but I feel like I've seen you before." He glanced back at me.

"Dasha." I smirked.

"Nope." He frowned. "I guess I don't know you." He shrugged.

"See, I just outed my name for nothing!" I laughed. "Should have said I was the mother of dragons."

"There you go." He laughed. "Khaleesi!"

"Ha." I rolled my eyes. "How much is this gonna cost me anyways?"

"$300 since you're royalty and everything mother of dragons." He scoffed and went back to the sketch. "You're going to love it."

"I better." I relaxed in the chair and closed my eyes.

#

"It's cute." Ima twisted my wrist in her hands. "Psycho."

"Next time you can come with me." I covered my wrist back up. "The artist invited me to a beach party, I want you to come with me. It's in a hour but of course we'll be fashionably late."

"Pre-party?" She waved a vial of coke around in front of my face. "It'll be fun Jenn!"

"I don't know!" I swiped the vial. "Doesn't seem like it's smart to mix my meds with this?"

"Just a little and you'll be soaring high, I promise." She screwed the top off the vial.

"Nah, if anything, I would like to smoke a little Mary Jane, no coke." I handed it back. "I'll leave the hard shit to you."

"Alright Jenn!" She laughed.

"Party up Jade." I rummaged through the suitcase. "It's a beach party, so should I wear a bikini under this dress with some heels?"

"Yeah." She nodded before snorting a line of the white powder. "Woah. Rush."

"You ever try to party sober?" I stared at her as I stripped down and slipped on the bikini. "It's a good experience, you can sit back and watch the drunks make fools of themselves."

"I will try it next time." She sat on the bed. "I promise."

"Alright." I kissed her forehead. "I'm staying sober tonight so you can go crazy and I'll babysit your ass unless you start acting a damn fool, then I'll leave you."

"We need matching tattoos!" She bolted up from her spot. "On our feet! Like if found please return to."

I frowned then smiled. "That'd be fucking dope as all hell!"

"See! Drugs make me have good ideas!" She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Let's get them done before we leave. Mark us as besties forever!"

"I'm so down." I nodded. "I do want to change the color of my hair as well."

"What color? Should I even ask?" She let her dress drop to the floor.

"Blue to match the ocean and my internal mood." I slipped on my wedges. "You think these look cute?"

"I think you should let me wear them and you wear my blue wedges." She thrust them towards me. "Trust. That white dress with a pop of color and the heels match your bikini."

"What would I do without you?" I exchanged the shoes and pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail.

"You would walk around looking like a fashion victim." She slipped her white bikini on. "This is bad. I should have gotten a wax."

"Lay back, I fucking got you." I pulled a tube of wax out of my toiletry bag. "I'll be careful."

"I don't know!" She squealed. "I'd have to kill you if you fucked my pussy up Jenn."

"Jade, look at me." I smiled. "I got this. I can do this."

"Omg!" She bit her fist. "Do it! Do it before I sober up and realize I should seek out a professional!"

"Lay back!" I walked into the bathroom and filled the ice bucket with warm water. "I got this!"

"Do it!" She yelled.

"First off! Take your bottoms off. Can't do hair removal with them on." I laughed. "This is going to be amazingly smooth!"

"I don't know!" She swatted at my hands. "This involves a shit load of trust!"

"I know!" I smiled. "I'm honored you're trusting your money maker in my hands. Literally." I smoothed the product over her and placed the strip down.

"Count it down!" She closed her eyes.

"5,4,3,鈥 " I ripped the strip off. "You're good! Feel it!"

"So much for a countdown!" She ran her hand over her vagina. "Damn, it's smooth with one strip. That's amazing shit."

"Bend over and I'll get your asshole too Ima." I laughed.

"Nope!" She sat up and pulled her bottoms back on. "I draw the line there."

"Fine." Iaughed. "Let's go!"

"I'm ready." She slipped the dress over her bikini. "I can't believe I let you wax my kitty!"

"Me either." I pulled open the door. "I thought you'd chicken out on me."

#

"This place is gorgeous!" Ima looked at the house as we walked up the driveway. "I'm gonna need to marry the owner."

I laughed but I knew she was being a hundred percent serious. "I will be the maid of honor."

"Jenn." She grabbed my hips. "Tonight, you have to be a slut. I'm going to teach you my slutty ways. It'll make you feel better. I promise."

"I don't know." I stared at her. "I'm more of a tease than anything. I've only been with three guys."

"We're going to take that up to double digits!" She held my hand. "Let's get you some guys to fuck. You ever think about double penetration?"

"Yeah, I think about how it's not for me." I smiled at Ryan as we approached. "He's the one who invited us."

"We're getting you laid by him. Look at those delicious v cuts." She smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Jade."

"Ryan." He hugged her. "Hey Khaleesi." He kissed my cheek. "Welcome to my humble abode."

"Nice!" She walked past him.

"Thanks." He stepped aside and I walked past him. Instantly feeling his hand on my hip as he lead me towards the backyard. "Private beach." He slid the door open and there were people everywhere.

"I most def need to relocate out here." I looked at him. "Don't have places like this in Texas."

"Texas?" He looked shocked. "Would have pegged you for a SoCal girl through and through. Especially the tattoos and attitude."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." I winked at him. I was trying my hardest to be like Ima and less like myself. I mean flirting shamelessly wasn't that big of a deal, it was the sex part that had me worried the most.

"You look gorgeous." He poked my side. "Make yourself at home, bar and snacks over that way."

"Thanks." I nodded and walked towards the snack table. The bar was the last place I needed to be at.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Ugh!" I rolled over. "I miss D!"

"She'll be back." Esai rubbed my belly. A cute habit he had subconsciously started since finding out I was pregnant.

"I know! I can't get a hold of her though babe." I looked at my phone. "She basically dropped off the face of the fuckin' earth! I still don't see how Happy broke things off. You saw how they were. All in love and perfect."

"Yeah, it's out of the blue." He frowned. "I know she's probably fuckin' drowning in her feelings right now."

"I should be there for her!" I yelled and sat up. "Babe, this is killing me. I'm stressing out."

"No, no." He shook his head. "Don't be stressing. Shit ain't good for the baby. Lil Esai doesn't need to be harmed while still inside."

"You make it sound like he's in prison, doing a life sentence." I laughed.

"Nah, he's just doing a nine to ten month sentence. Ten weeks down already though." He smirked. "He's coming out beefy as fuck. I already know it. You gotta get cut to get him out, no vaginal passage."

"Oh my God!" I smacked his chest. "You're fucking terrible."

"It's true. I'm going to need a chunky ass baby." He smiled. "Ten pounder. I'll settle for eight but nothing less. Unless it's a girl."

"Oh god." I groaned and sat between his legs. "I feel the pain ripping through me already Esai! Why'd you have to give me the image of being cut open and having a baby pulled from my womb?"

"Because I love you." He laughed. "I'm just saying ruca. Which reminds me, I got you some pregnancy books to read up on stuff."

"So thoughtful." I smiled at him. "You're the best."

"I try." He smiled back, his eyes bright and full of life. "I'm excited for this all. I know shit happened fast but hey it feels so fuckin' right."

"It really does." I nodded. "I love you E."

"I love you too Ruca." He kissed my eyes.

#

"Dad!" I yelled as I walked into Dasha's house. "Dad!"

"He's not here." Ashley walked out of his bedroom. "He will be back soon though."

"I'll wait." I sat down on the sofa. "Why are you even here? Are you aware it's your fault Dasha dropped off the face of the earth. You of all people should know not to mess with a bipolar person's emotions."

"I just did was I felt was right." She crossed her arms and glared at me. "It didn't bother you she was with a man your father's age?"

"Nope." I smiled. "He made her happy! She's in love with him! It may not be acceptable to you or my dad but no one else cared. When you saw Hap and D interact, it was something beautiful. They completed each other, she reminded him to have fun and he kept her busy. She just openly talked to that man. You and my dad weren't around them ever to see the perfect chemistry. Hap broke up with her because of my dad and him not wanting shit to be bad with him and D."

"Oh." She frowned. "I didn't know!"

"Duh!" I stood up and pinned her to the wall by her neck. "I swear to fucking God, if she ends up in the hospital over this shit, I will disembowel you, you got that Doc?"

"Yeah." She nodded as tears formed in her eyes.

"Good." I slammed her head into the wall. "Let me find out you're meddling in her life again and see what I can really do."

"What is going on?" My dad walked into the house.

"Flexing my muscles." I glared at him. "Letting this cunt know not to fuck with my sister's life and relationship, something you need to fucking learn too. Last time I checked you weren't good at them dad. Last time I checked you wrecked mom time after fucking time. Do you know how perfect D and Hap were together? Me and Esai would watch them and be like damn, I want us to be like them."

"Malia, calm down." He frowned. "I realize I fucked up. I can't fix this shit, I don't know where she is to apologize to her."

"This is me being calm. I tell everyone time and time again. You mess with my sister and you're messing with me." I shoved him. "Dad, you messed with my sister now I'm pissed the fuck off at you too. Oh, best believe Hap felt my anger too. Then he explained that he did it to avoid problems with you."

"He's too old for her!" He looked at me. "I'm sorry I got involved. I'll make shit right."

"Dad! If you knew Dasha you would realize she has a preference for daring older guys, it's always been that way. She likes mature older guys who know what they want in life not guys her age who are fumbling around like damn idiots. Why don't you two attempt to get to know here before you try to decide what's good for her! I'm done here! I'm too annoyed to stick around." I pulled my keys from my pocket. "I'm disappointed in you Herman. I expected more from you. You Dr. Linden, I expected more too since you're a doctor and know how fragile Dasha's mind is. Good day assholes!"

I slammed the door behind me. I was sick and tired of everyone giving Dasha a hard time. Yeah she was bipolar but that didn't mean she was incapable of making her own smart decisions. No one cared about meddling in my affairs and I was dating a guy from my dad's rival MC.


	39. Chapter 39 Trigger

_**Let's see how the Killer is holding up without Dasha.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Happy POV <strong>

"You look tense." Lyla stared at me from behind the bar. "You holding up okay there Hap?"

"No." I shook my head and pointed to the bottle of Jack. "Need more top shelf liquor in my fucking life."

"You love her that much? You need to get her back." She ran her nails over my forearms. "Call her."

"She's gone." I shrugged. "She just dipped out of fucking town, no one can even get a hold of her or find her."

"Too bad." She offered me a small smile. "I'll keep you company."

I knew what she meant and I had taken her up on the offer a few times over the last few weeks. She was good but Dasha actually put her to shame in the bedroom department. "Nah, I'm still good from the last time." I stood and grabbed the bottle and walked to the sofa to try to show interest into what my brothers were doing.

"You good Hap?" Tig looked at me. "Look like you could use some pussy in your life brother."

"I'm good." I took a pull from the bottle. "Don't see any pussy I want anyways."

"I didn't see you passing up on Lyla at the party." He laughed.

"She was throwing herself at me. I got a fucking feeling she was using me to one up Dasha. Soon as she's back all hell will break loose between the two." I shrugged.

"I put my money on Dasha." He laughed. "If she's anything like her mom she'll be scrappy."

"Yeah." I smirked as I watched the brunette swing around the pole. Her moves were clumsy and she tried too hard to be sexy. She was the complete opposite of Dasha. "She's a fighter."

"Shot yourself in the foot." He grimaced. "Opie gets out of jail soon, when he finds out he'll be pissed."

"Ain't my fault he's with a slut." I rolled my eyes as a blonde came and sat on my lap without an invitation. "Move bitch." I shoved her to the ground.

"Very nice." She looked up at me. "Lyla said you needed company."

"I do need company but your ass ain't it sweetheart." I glared at her and she retreated back to the bar.

"You need to get laid. You're grumpier than usual." He pushed a bottle of vodka to me.

"I don't drink that shit." I pushed it back and stood up. "I gotta get out of here."

"Ride safe." He smiled.

"Always." I walked out of the clubhouse.

#

"Hey ma." I sat down next to her on the sofa and stretched my legs out. The impromptu ride had kinked my legs up unexpectedly.

"Hey Hap." She smiled. "What brings you out here?"

"Needed space." I looked at her. "Some heavy stuff going around at the clubhouse. Needed to distance myself from it for awhile."

"What's her name?" She looked at me. "Gotta be a woman behind this unhappiness Happy?"

"Not important." I shrugged.

"You don't just come here to visit." She laughed. "So spill it? What did you do to her?"

"I broke things off with her and now I'm feeling bad." I sighed and rubbed my face.

"Ahh, my son is in love." She clapped her hands together. "Tell me about her Hap."

"Nah, you'll never approve of her so why bother?" I looked at her then at the ink on my arms.

"Try me." She patted my leg. "I'm going to make us coffee and then you'll tell me about her and I'll make the judgment if I approve or not."

"Alright ma." I pulled out my phone and sent Dasha another text. I knew it was a waste of time but if she did have her phone she no doubt would know I was thinking of her like crazy.

"Here." Ma handed me a cup of coffee before she sat down with her own. "Now tell me about her."

"Well," I took a sip. "I met her up in Tacoma. Her name is Dasha, we get along really well. I have fun with her and you know that's rare."

"Why'd you break things off then?" She glared at me.

"Her dad didn't approve. There's a big age difference." I looked away from her. "She's young enough to be my daughter ma."

"How old is she?" She blinked at me.

"Almost twenty four." I set my coffee mug down. "She's got an old soul though if that makes sense. It's like she's older but still has this whimsical aspect to her." I shrugged.

"She work?" She held my hand.

"She's a writer." I nodded. "She graduated from college and everything. She's always reading, writing, or drawing. She's an observer."

"So basically you found the love of your life then broke up with her because of her father." She shook her head. "You need to talk things out with her. See if you can't fix what you broke."

"Yeah, but she won't return calls or texts. She's in hiding ma." I dropped my phone to the table.

"She's probably heartbroken." She waved her hands around. "Just talk to her, worst she can say is no."

"Yeah, if she shows back up I'll talk to her." I stood. "Thanks for this. I'm going to sleep though. Night ma, love you."

"Love you too Hap." She hugged me. "Win your girl back, I'd love to meet her sometime."

I laughed. "If you saw her, you'd have a damn heart attack." I picked up my phone and scrolled through it. "She has an affinity for weird color hair and tattoos."

"She's gorgeous though." She smiled. "You did good my boy."

"Thanks." I nodded and walked back towards my room. Telling her about Dasha had went better than I expected it to go. Now I just had to find a way to get Dasha back.

**SOASOASOA**

**Dasha POV**

_"No!" I yelled at Happy as he tried to walk away from me. "You can't fucking do this to me Happy! I love you." _

_"I'm sorry!" He looked back at me. "It's for your own good." _

_"No!" I shook my head and dropped to the floor. "This isn't good for me! This can't fuckin' happen! Don't you get it? If you leave me, I'll fall to pieces! You're the glue that's keeping me together. If you leave, I can't let you leave." _

_"I have to!" He yelled at me, causing me to retreat. "Go live your life little girl, I don't want you anymore!" _

_"Shut up!" I covered my ears. "You don't fucking mean it! You're just being an asshole and listening to them!" _

_"Bye Dasha." He walked out of the house. I dropped to the floor and started to sob as the house went up in flames. I didn't make any effort to move as I heard pounding on the door. _

_Happy was trying to get back in. The door wouldn't budge, the windows didn't shatter as he shot at them. "It's too late! I can't be saved now!" I walked to the window and stared out at him. He was screaming, trying his hardest to get back in. _

_"Dasha!" He yelled. "Open the door!" _

_"It's too late." I raised the gun to my head and released the safety. _

_"Dasha! Put it down!" He rushed the door and it splintered open. _

_"It's too late." I pressed the trigger as he ran towards me. _

I sat up straight in bed. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I turned on the lights and looked around. I was all alone and I was a pathetic mess. "Get it together Dasha. He's not worth going insane over." I tried to soothe myself as I laid back down. "You will get through this shit."

"You keep telling yourself that." The voice in my head finally spoke after months of silence.

"No." I shook my head and pulled a pillow over my head. "You're not real, I'll get over this break up."

"I'm real." It said. "Get used to me because I'm back."

I slid out of bed and started to pace the hotel room. Shaking my head as I started to panic. I couldn't be manic, I couldn't go through this shit I needed to talk to someone. I picked up my old phone and my new phone. If I turned my old phone on, I risked being found. It was a risk I had to take.

"God, I don't even have a fucking doctor anymore." I slid to the floor and rested my head against the dresser as I scrolled through the numbers. I hit call and let the ringing fill the room. Hoping he'd pick up.

"Dasha?" His voice flowed through the speaker.

"Yeah." I spoke, trying my hardest to hide the tears.

"It's three in the morning. Where are you? Are you okay?" He asked. I could hear him becoming frantic.

"Juice." I started. "I'm fuckin' breaking right now."

"Jesus." He rasped. "Where are you? I will come get you."

"No." I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "I just needed to talk to you, I don't want to go back. I just can't go back. I need time."

"Dasha, I can't let you stay away if you're breaking. Come back, you can hide out in my house." He insisted. "Just come home, I can't help you if you're not here."

"I'm in Orange County." I finally said. "I don't know about coming home Juice. I don't think I can face him or my dad. I'm just pissed at them both but in different ways."

"Just come home." He urged. "I'll meet you half way."

"Fine." I ran my fingers through my hair. "Fine. Fine."

"I'll stay on the phone with you, alright Dasha. Just focus on my voice and nothing else." He spoke smooth and soft. "You did this for me remember?"

"Of course I remember." I yawned. "Juice, I can't be going crazy again, I don't want to land back in the hospital. That was terrible."

"We'll get you into a different doctor as soon as you come home. Alright, I'll even go with you." He yawned. "You're going to be good Dasha, it'll just take some time."

#

"You look like shit." I stared at Ima as she packed her bags up. "Three weeks of partying finally caught up to you?"

"Yeah." She paused to put her hair in a ponytail. "I feel like shit. I'm kind of glad we're leaving here early."

"I told you to party sober." I pulled her I to a big hug. "It would have made for a better time."

"I know but I get insecure at parties and drugs give me that extra confidence." She sighed.

"You're gorgeous though, what's to be insecure about?" I sat on the bed and fiddled with the hem of my shorts.

"I have a bad personality and attitude." She rolled her eyes. "I come off as a bitch so no one will pick on me."

"You don't have siblings?" I blinked at her.

"Only child." She smiled.

"That explains a lot actually." I rubbed my brows. "You ever have a female best friend?"

"Yeah back in the day, she turned on me though." She frowned. "Lyla and I were pretty good friends until I fucked her husband."

"Yeah, okay. See I'm going to need you to be yourself, don't try to overcompensate or prove anything to me. I like you how you are. You're fucking amazing and down to earth when you're not trying to be something you're not." I smiled. "Just be you, I mean I'm fuckin' weird and I accept that and embrace it."

"Everyone likes you though." She whined. "They all hate me."

"You made them hate you! You tried to be the mean girl so they hate you for it. You should be the goofball that you are when it's me and you." I stood back up. "We're learning from each other. Don't be something you're not."

"You're cool for this." She hugged me. "I can't believe I got a bestie like you."

"Yeah, me either." I kissed her softly. "Let's get home now Jade."

"Sounds good to me Jenn." She laughed. "I still can't believe you didn't hook up with any guys."

"After having Happy's dick, I don't think anyone will ever come close to that." I bit my lip and blinked at her. "Amazing mouth too."

"Omg!" She looked at me. "Dasha, you're a slut."

"Only for him." I rolled my eyes. "I wonder how many women he's slept with since the break up."

"Don't do that to yourself." She smacked my ass. "You thinking about it will make yourself suffer. Try to think about Jax and his body."

"He does have a really nice back." I laughed. "Those arms are pretty nice!"

"Speaking of nice arms, I wouldn't mind Juice wrapping me in his!" She scoffed. "He's got a nice ass too."

"God!" I yelped. "Lord save our souls but curse you for making those men look so delicious."

"Chibs has a little something going on too." She bit back a laugh as we checked out of the hotel. "Opie too."

"Omg! Chibs, I'd bang Chibs." I laughed. "That accent does things."

"Aye!" She did her best Scottish accent. "It's sexy."

"We're going to hell." I rolled my eyes as we walked to the valet and waited for the car. "It should be a sin for men their age to look so fucking good."

"Amen! But there are the Bobbys of the club." She wrinkled her nose. "I'd even fool around with Tig."

"I think he'd scare me. I picture rope, zip ties, and knives involved during his romps." I dropped my backpack into the backseat. "I'll laugh when I see the guys now. Thanks."

"Me too." She dropped into the driver's side. "You still texting Kyle?"

"No." I sighed. "Found out he has a girlfriend which makes it awkward because I was shamelessly flirting with him when I wasn't going insane thinking about Happy."

**SOASOASOA**

**Kozik POV **

I was literally going crazy. I couldn't help but think that Dasha was on some crazy bender with Ima. I could see it now, the police arriving to my door to have me identify her body because they found her over dosed in some ditch. It was my fault. I meddled and instantly regretted it when I saw Happy.

He looked like a zombie, no longer full of life. He wasn't even enjoying killing anymore. He went through the motions and got it done. More times than not he was hiding in his room with a bottle of liquor. He hadn't even touched a sweetbutt, he even rejected going to the Jellybean.

"You good?" I looked at Happy who was sitting on the leather sofa.

"Fine." He glared at me. "You hear from her yet?"

I shook my head. "I'm starting to think the worst."

"Been there." He frowned. "It ain't pretty at all."

"Nope." I rolled my head to the side as Kyle walked into the clubhouse. He looked out of place since he was SAMTAZ and last I checked they had packed up and gone home.

"Your kid here?" He sat down next to me.

"Nope." I stared at him. "Still hasn't reachd out."

"Alright." He stood up. He was acting more squirrelly than normal.

"Why?" I looked at him. "Why are you asking about Dasha?"

"Just checking in." She shrugged and backed away causing Happy to hop out of his seat and approach him. "I know how much Redwood is worried about her."

"Nah, cut the bullshit Hobart." Happy poked his chest. "What do you want with Dasha?"

"Nothing." He held up his hands and smirked. "Just concerned about her. She's a good friend."

"You don't even know her." Happy growled. I could see the anger and jealous rising.

"I know her. I met her up in Tacoma." He stared at us. "I thought she was a sweetbutt and pushed up on her then she was like Kozik is my dad."

"Bullshit." I stood up. "No fuckin' way you met her."

"I did." He smiled. "She had purple hair. She called it dusty rose."

"I didn't even know you passed through town." I glared at him. "Just because you talked to her once doesn't mean you should be so concerned about her."

"Once?" He laughed. "Yeah, I talked to her once and stayed behind in Charming to show my concern. Alright Herman."

"What's going on between you and Dasha?" Happy asked him.

"Nothing yet." He winked at Happy. "Now that she's a free agent, I may just go after her now."

"Nah." Happy socked him. "You stay the fuck away from her Kyle. Go back to Arizona and your girlfriend."

Kyle stood and stared at Happy. "That girl has you fucking twisted up Hap. You hit me over pussy."

"She isn't just some pussy Kyle." Happy pushed him backwards. "I suggest you leave before I hit you again."

"Alright, but when you see Dasha let her know I was looking for her." He winked at us and walked out of the clubhouse holding his jaw.

"Fuck!" Happy kicked over the coffee table.

"You were just defending her." I patted his back and he shrugged me off.

"Nah, I'll fucking die before I let that asshole anywhere near Dasha." He stormed out of the clubhouse.

#

"Any news?" Ashley looked at me from her seat on the sofa.

"Nope." I frowned. "Nothing at all." I looked towards the door as I heard keys jingling. "Must be Malia, brace yourself for it."

"Oh." Dasha appeared inside. "I didn't think you two would be home."

"Dasha!" I scooped her up. "Fuck! You're alive you little shit."

"Put me the fuck down Kozik." She hisses and I released her from my grip. "I'm just here to drop this shit off and get different clothes."

"No! Where the fuck have you been?" I put my body between her and the hallway.

"Los Angeles." She blinked up at me. "Can you move?"

"Talk to me Dasha. I want to apologize for everything." I followed her into her room. "Please just hear me out."

"No. Your apologies mean nothing to me Herman." She glared at me. "Mom was right! You only care about doing shit to benefit yourself! Are you happy now? Him and I are over. You got what you wanted."

"I thought it would make me happy." I looked at her. "But Happy is fucking miserable, you look like you haven't sleep in weeks and your hair. It's blue, like you've fallen head first into a bucket of blueberries."

"Congratulations Herman, you managed to ruin two people's lives at once. You should be proud." She zipped up her backpack. "I have to go. I have to visit my sister."

"Will you be back?" I looked as she walked out of the room.

"Maybe." She shrugged. "Don't hold your breath."

"I love you." I called out after her.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't still be with that cunt of a doctor." She looked at Ashley. "I suggest you lawyer up Dr. Linden, pretty sure you broke the patient confidentiality law or some shit."

"Dasha." I said as she slammed the front door. I just made my daughter hate me more than ever. No amount of therapy would get us through this situation.

* * *

><p>Just when you all thought Dasha was handling the break up well she starts having her night terrors again.<p>

Let me know what you guys thought of everything. (:


	40. Chapter 40 Can You Not?

**Boom goes the dynamite!**

* * *

><p>Dasha POV<p>

"Juice." I whispered as I stood next to his bed. I had woken up from another nightmare and desperately needed some form of company.

"Get in." He tossed the blankets back and patted the empty space next to him. I laid down and his large arm pulled me close. I instantly felt the warmth of his body and settled in. "You good now?"

"Maybe." I yawned as I felt his breath against the back of my neck. "Sorry if I woke you up. I really am."

"It's okay, I wake up in two hours for a run anyways." He yawned.

"You still going to get up and go for a one?" I flipped over and stared at him. I couldn't see him well but it was comforting.

"Yeah, you should come with. It'll make your head clear." He rubbed my side. "I promise it'll help.

"Alright." I sighed. "I'll go with you. I haven't ran in forever. So don't get mad if I start to crawl half way through that shit."

He laughed. "I'll slow it down for you."

"Aww shucks." I laughed. "Let's try to get some sleep for this what? Less than two hours."

"Or we can get up and run now than we'll have breakfast and such." He sat up and turned on the light. "Good with you?"

"Yeah." I sat up.

"Do you even workout?" He glared at me as he slipped out of his bed.

"Yeah, I swing around the stripper pole Juice." I smiled. "It's good ass cardio."

"I'm going to need to see that." He laughed. "But get ready, I don't want to be saddled with any more thoughts of you stripping."

I laughed. "How far do you run anyways?"

"Just to downtown and back." He pulled on his shorts. "You got workout clothes with you?"

"I have shorts and a sports bra yeah." I nodded and slipped out of bed. "I'll go get ready and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Alright." He flashed me one of his big goofy smiles as I walked out of his room.

"Blue or purple?" I rummaged through the duffle bag and found the white sports bra before anything else. "White will do." I stripped down and pulled on the bra before finding a pair of grey joggers to slip into. "As good as it's getting." I was happy I had packed my running shoes, so I pulled on socks then the sneakers.

"Close enough." I shrugged and walked into the kitchen as I pulled my hair back into a pony tail. "I think I look good." I stared at Juice's back as he fiddled with the protein powder containers lining his counter neatly.

"You look sporty." He gave me a quick glance. "You sure your sweats won't slip down?"

"Nope." I laughed. "You sure your shorts won't slip down Juice?"

"I'm positive." He handed me a bottle of water. "You try your best to keep up with me alright. First we stretch though D."

"Alrigt." I laughed and mimicked his movements as we made our way out of the front door. "This feels really good! I could kind of get used to this. Do you box?"

"Sometimes, why?" He stretched his legs as he studied my face.

"You have really nice arms." I flexed my arms. "Ima and I think you have the best arms ever."

He blushed. "Okay let's go."

#

"Fuck me." I slid off the back of Juice's bike. My legs were already sore from the run that we took earlier that morning. "I'm out of shape." I frowned.

"You'll get better." He laughed as he draped an arm over my shoulders. "You sure about this?"

"Yeah!" I nodded. "I have to do this shit Juice."

"I've never talked to a doctor before." He pulled open the door. "I'm not sure what to say to a psychiatrist."

"You tell them what's wrong, obviously nothing criminal but you can tell them about your OCD or anxiety." I pressed the elevator button. "If you're not ready to do your own appointment you can sit in on mine."

"I want to do that." He smiled as we stepped off the elevator. "Do you just tell the doctor everything?"

"Yeah I do." I nodded as I signed in. "I mean, it's going to get heavy and I don't know if you have any triggers it what, but if you start getting uncomfortable then you can just leave. Alright?"

"Alright." He nodded as I took the clip board and found the first available seats in the far corner.

"I like being able to see who comes in and stuff." I glanced around the almost empty waiting room. "It relaxes me."

"Hap is the same way." He rubbed his hands on his jeans.

"Yeah I know. We always played games about it. To see who keep track of who came and went in the diner in Tacoma. It was fun." I shrugged and went back to filling my paperwork out.

"Makes sense." He smiled. "You always make a habit of switching hands when you write?"

"Yeah, subconscious thing. Left is for cursive and signature. My right is for print and all that." I showed him the clipboard.

"Dasha." The nurse stood in the door, a clipboard of her own in her gloved hands.

"Let's go." I stood and Juice followed.

"Last four digits of your SSN?" She looked at us.

"1492." I smiled.

"Follow me." She walked through the door and we followed behind her. "What brings you here today?"

"My old doctor started fucking my dad and it didn't feel right to keep seeing her." I made a weird face and she sat us in a room.

"Bipolar?" She read of the charts.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"The doctor will be right with you. Dr Lloyd." She smiled and walked out.

"You look nervous." I looked at Juice and grabbed his hand. "Relax, we're here for me. Not for you, just yet."

"I'm just nervous to hear all the shit you've been through." He squeezed my hand as the doctor walked in.

"Here we go." I smiled.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"She's been gone almost a fucking month." I looked at Esai. "This shit is insane! What if she's dead!"

"Relax." He rubbed my back. "She's going to come back soon. She ran away from heartbreak."

"She could at least call or text or some shit babe." I whined. "Too much to ask for?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "She's grown, regardless of her being on medication, she seems like she can look after herself. Plus you said that Ima chick went with her."

"Yeah but still." I groaned. "She's been gone too long. It's time for her to come home or at least post on social media Esai."

"I know you're worried ruca but trust me she's fine." He hugged me. "She'll probably come back with weird colored hair or something."

I laughed. "Yeah you're probably right. You're so patient with me."

"Yeah well love is patient and all that good shit." He kissed me. "You ready to go on lockdown?"

"Yes." I stood up. "I'm packed. I can't believe that this shit picked up again."

"It's the life. I want to get rid of it before the kid comes. Then I'll be able to relax and be with you and little Esai." He grabbed my bag. "You'll love the women of the club."

"I know I will." I tugged my boots on and followed him to the driveway. "This shit is weird, I should have went through the garage. I want to take my car, you can ride your bike."

"Arright." We walked back into the house. Just as we heard a large explosion. "Fuck! Ruca go into the bedroom and hide."

"Was that your car?" I tried to move around him to see but he moved me back into the house.

"Malia, go grab the gun and hide!" He yelled. "Now!"

"Okay!" I rushed into our bedroom and grabbed the gun taped underneath the nightstand. My heartbeat was out of control as I realized the bomb was meant for us. If I hadn't decided I wanted to drive my car we would have been blown up.

"The police are on the way." He looked at me. "You're going to be okay." He pulled me into a tight hug. "I got you ruca, remember that."

#

"You good?" Marcus stared at me as he handed me a cup of coffee. "It's decaf."

"Still shaken." I offered him a small smile.

"I bet." He sat down across from me.

"I've never even experienced anything like that before. Albeit I was at my house when it exploded but it was different, that was a fire type thing." I sighed.

"You're safe here now." He rubbed my arm. "You make yourself at home, alright?"

"Yeah, alright." I pulled my legs up on the sofa. "When will Esai be back?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Soon, hopefully."

"Annoyed with me already?" I laughed and set the coffee down.

"No." He chuckled. "Need to talk to him is all. What'd you say your last name was again?"

"I never mentioned my last name." I stared at him. "Why do you want to know it?"

"Curious, you're about to be the mother to my grandchild." He smirked.

"If I tell you, are you going to get all huffy and pissed off about if?" I crossed my arms. "Last thing we need is you and Esai arguing with each other."

"Depends." He looked at me.

"It's Kozik." I smiled. "Malia Kozik."

"Your dad is a Son." He shook his head.

"No big deal." I shrugged. "Is this going to be a problem for you?"

"No." He smirked. "Shouldn't be a problem at all."

"Good." I smiled as my phone chirped. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. "Omg! My sister is back." I stared at the picture of blue haired Dasha. The caption of her photo reading, 'back to that Charming life'.

"Where was she?" He looked at my phone. "She's gorgeous."

"I don't know, I'm about to text her. She got her heartbroken and literally dropped off the face of earth for three long weeks." I smiled at him. "You're a cool dude."

"Thanks." He nodded. "Make yourself at home and talk to people."

"I will." I smiled as I texted Dasha. I was happy she was back, I just hoped she was good and not on the verge of a break down.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"It's packed." I sat between Jax and Happy as we waited for Opie to show up to his party. He had been released earlier that day but chose to spend time with his family and hit the party later.

"Not often we get one of our brothers coming home after the charge he faced Koz." Jax tapped the end of his joint on the ashtray and smirked as we watched Juice swagger in, followed by Kyle then Dasha who was holding hands with Ima.

"I smell drama." I shook my head and watched Kyle walk towards us. A smug look on his face that I wanted to smack off.

"Your daughter looks good tonight." He flashed a look over his shoulder. "I didn't know she was into Juice though. That caught me off guard. I guess she has a type."

"Do I gotta take you to the ring?" I glared at him. "Talk about my kid one more time and I'll hand you an ass beating."

"Opie!" Jax yelled. "Welcome home brother." He enveloped the large man in a hug. Opie looked around and his gaze fell on Kyle who instantly tensed up as he powered his way over towards us and tried to grab Kyle as Dasha stepped in front of him.

"Ellie's dad?" Dasha smiled up at him and he went soft immediately. "I've been teaching her guitar. She play for you yet?"

"No." He gruffed out. "I'm Opie."

"Dasha." She shook his hand. "She come with you? When can get an acoustic session going or whatever. She's very talented."

"I'd like that." He nodded but still sent a threatening look to Kyle who had retreated behind myself and Happy.

"You got your ass saved by a girl." Jax laughed. "You're a pussy Kyle."

"I don't even think she was aware of what was going on." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a beer off the tray of a passing croweater.

"She knew what she was doing." Happy rasped. "You see how she's sitting in the corner? She has a view of every fucking thing going on in this damn place. She's an observer."

"Great, another Hap." Jax smirked. "You two talk shit out yet?"

"Nope." Happy frowned. "I plan to talk with her though."

"Good." I smiled as I watched Juice and Ima join Dasha. "I don't want anything bad to possibly happen to her. I already muddled this shit up enough."

"She crashing with Ima?" Opie joined us. "She seems too good to he hanging out with that gash."

"She's crashing with Juice." Kyle looked at us. "I saw them ride up together."

"There's your answer Ope." I laughed.

"My kid hasn't shut up about Dasha since I got home. I thought it was a new friend from school. Didn't think she was a club kid." He sipped his beer. "You keeping tabs on her?"

"Trying to." I rolled my eyes. "She's hard to keep track of."

#

"Dasha." I sat down next to her outside at the picnic table. "Please don't run."

She stared at me. "I don't plan on running dad."

"I want to apologize." I looked at her. "I know it wasn't my place to step into your relationship. I should have been selfless instead of selfish. I just didn't want you to be in the position like your mom was. So I ignored seeing you happy. In my mind you were miserable and I guess that was far from the truth. Ashley didn't fucking help either. I shouldn't have let her opinions become mine."

"I forgive you." She smiled. "I mean, I do. I don't know how we'll have a relationship again but I don't hate you or anything dad. You didn't force Happy to break up with me, he did that himself. So he has to take responsibility for that part because that's what has me fucked up. I mean you're dad, I know you're going to flex that title and blab your opinions. I just am struggling with being dumped by the man I'm in love with. He can stay by my side during my breakdown but he won't fight my dad on that. No one knows what's good for me besides me."

"I love you Dasha." I hugged her. "You can come home."

"Nah." She shrugged. "I'm actually looking for my own place."

"You don't have to." I looked at her. "You love that house D."

"Yeah, but I think I'd do better if I didn't live with you. Maybe it's time for me to try the living on my own thing." She smiled. "I'm almost 24 dad, I think I can at least try it. Worst case, I fail then I'll move in with Juice or Ima."

"Why not me?" I pouted. "Not good enough anymore?"

"We butt heads too much." She shrugged. "Like it's terrible dad, we're too much a like in certain ways. We'll never have a healthy relationship as long as we live together and you're sticking your nose into every aspect of my life. Like look at you! You're more worried about me and Hap than you are that Malia is pregnant and living with a rival MC member."

I guess I had been trying to control Dasha's life and neglecting to check in with Malia. "Yeah, she is good."

"Just let me do this dad, just let go and hope for the best." She stood. "I'm old enough to be on my own. Plus I got to learn how to just care about myself. You know?"

"So I'm forgiven for the most part?" I stood and hugged her.

"Yeah but can you not hug me? I have a rep to protect around here. I can't be the daddy's girl." She pushed away as some brothers filed out of the clubhouse and to the ring.

"Who's fighting?" I looked at Juice.

"Kyle and Hap." He shrugged.

"Oh god." Dasha rolled her eyes and pushed through the crowd before disappearing completely. I was happy to have talked things out but I was unhappy with the fact she wanted to move out on her own.


	41. Chapter 41 Princess

Malia POV

"This is crazy." I rolled over and looked at Esai who was sitting at his desk cleaning his gun. "Dasha is back, her and Hap haven't talked, she is moving out on her own, and apparently I'm starting to get morning sickness."

"Ruca, you need me to hold your hair back for you?" He looked at me. "I'll do it babe."

"I know." I rubbed my face on the sheet. "I'm good right now I just feel sick."

"I'll rub your tummy when I'm done with this." He smiled. "You been good hanging out around here?"

"Yeah, it's just boring. Your dad asked me about my last name though." I shrugged. "I told him, he seemed to be really cool about the situation."

"He's a cool guy." He nodded.

"He is." I nodded. "He's got that old school vato thing going on and shit. It's dope."

He laughed. "Yeah, it's pretty cool."

"I love you." I sat on his lap.

"I love you too." He rubbed my belly. "You ready for your appointment later?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm fourteen weeks so maybe, just maybe they can tell us the gender."

"Maybe." He smiled. "I want a boy, like super badly."

"I think I do too." I nodded. "Baby Esai."

"We're still on lockdown though, I don't know honestly whost after just you and me. There haven't been any other attacks on any other member." He shook his head slowly. "We have to sit and meet with the Sons. Let them know what's happening and sort of ask for their help with it all."

"This is insane." I sat back on the bed. "I really don't like any of this. I've never been almost blown up, I've been almost shot but that's a whole other situation for another time."

"Relax." He held my hands. "You are safe, as long as you stay here. Obviously whoever did it had to follow me to the new place. So we got the tech kid looking at all the security footage as we speak."

"I don't know how you're staying so calm about this situation." I frowned. "I'm on edge E."

"Let me worry about this. Arright? I don't want you stressing especially since you're knocked up n everything." He creased his brows slightly. "Can you try to do that? I mean if I can get you to your sis would that relax you as well? I know you two are close."

"I would really love to see her." I nodded and smiled. "Hear stories about her trip and then knock some sense into her ass about Hap."

"Then it's settled. I'll get you to your sister and you can relax." He stood and pulled me gently with him. "Let's get some breakfast, then we can do the appointment, come back here and pack your bag for Charming."

"Yay!" I kissed his cheek. "You're the best baby. I love you."

"I love you too." He opened the door and let me walk out first. His arm wrapping around my waist. "You sensitive to any food? My step mom said eggs used to make her super sick."

"I guess we're about to find out." I sat down at the table while he made us plates of food.

"You should be doing that." A mousy blonde looked down her nose at me.

"He wouldn't let me." I shrugged and cut my gaze back to Esai who was walking back towards us. "Thanks babe."

"Anything for you ruca." He sat down and looked at the blonde. "You giving my lady shit?"

"Just telling her she should have gotten the food for you." She crossed her arms and looked between us.

"I'm grown, I'm capable of doing it myself. Plus I like doing shit for my lady. I love taking care of her." He smiled. "You can leave now, you give Malia shit again and I'll hurt you."

"That was romantic." I smiled as I picked up a piece of toast.

"She's a slut. You need to put her in her place." He smiled. "Since you're knocked up I did it for you."

"I appreciate it." I smiled. "Next time I'll handle it myself. I promise."

"Love you Malia." He held my hand.

"Love you too Esai." I returned a smile.

#

"Dasha!" I wrapped her into a hug and she squealed like a pig. "Omg!"

"Malia!" She jumped up and down. "I missed you sis!"

"I missed you bitch!" I held her at an arm's length. "Ugh! What's new with you?"

"Besides being heartbroken and alone?" She scoffed. "I got a tattoo. Psycho." She twisted her wrist around.

"Cute. Did you have to dye your hair this blue?" I touched it. "Manic Panic dye?"

"Yeah." She laughed. "It'll wash out with time. What're you here for? I heard you were on lockdown."

"E thought I needed time with you. I've been stressing out. Unlike you I can't just let the men take care of shit." I sat down on the leather sofa. "You and Hap talk yet?"

"Nope. I'm mad at him." She crossed her arms and legs and glared in his direction. "He took my friend Kyle to the ring and beat his ass bad."

I rolled my eyes. "Kyle." I didn't like the guy, the single time I met him he was all over Dasha despite her telling him she was taken and Kozik's daughter. "I don't like him."

"No one seems to." She shrugged. "I think he's cool when he's alone. Like one on one. Otherwise he's a fucking dick."

"Still, talk to Hap." I smacked her thigh. "You love that man so much. Can't just throw the shit away because he fucked up once."

"I'm more worried about the body count." She rolled her eyes. "Not deaths, but how many women he's fucked. I want to sit here and say he's been faithful and hasn't fucked at all but I would be lying to myself. I know he's slept around, I just don't know with who and I'm dying."

"Just ask him. You really going to not get back with him because he's slept around during a break up?" I stared at the back if Happy's head. "I mean it is part of the life."

"If you and E broke up for a month and he slept around with multiple women how would that affect you? Like he's supposed to be madly in love with you but he's just getting his dick wet with whoever he can." She looked at me. "Like he couldn't have used his hand or something?"

"You make a point. I would be pissed at him." I frowned. "I still think you should talk to him, it may take a lot of work but I'm sure he's willing to put forth the effort and try."

"Fine." She stood up. "I'll go talk to him. Have a pint of ice cream ready for when I come back."

"That's my girl." I swatted her ass. "Go get your man."

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

I steeled my nerves and rolled my shoulders back as I walked towards Happy. I gave Malia one more glance and she gave me a thumbs up. She had always been my motivator. This time was no different.

"Happy." I tapped his shoulder and he turned around and stared at me for a few seconds as if he was trying to gauge my expression. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah." He nodded slowly and places his cue stick down on the royal blue felted pool table. "We can go to my room little girl."

I walked ahead of him and could feel him directly behind me. I wanted nothing more than to fall back into our old relationship but I knew that was going to be impossible. He unlocked the door and opened it for me. I slipped in and wrinkled my nose at the scent that invaded it. Sex and cologne.

"I'm sorry." He blurted out as he stood next to his bed. His eyes studying me as I backed myself against his small wooden desk.

"Alright." I nodded and shrugged. "I'm sorry too."

"Why are you apologizing?" He frowned and moved closer to me. "I'm the one who broke shit off. I regret that shit Dasha. I regretted it as soon as it happened. It killed me inside to hear you cry because of what I did that day."

"I'm apologizing because I don't think I can talk to you in here." I whispered. "How many bitches have you fucked in here Hap?"

"Lost count." His head dropped and he looked at his boots. "I was just trying to feel alive again little girl. I'm pretty fucking sure I left my heart with you that day. Nothing I did was enjoyable after that. I was just doing the motions."

"Jesus." I sat down in the chair. "I don't know what to say to that shit Happy! I feel so stupid! I didn't have sex with anyone at all. I stayed true to you and you were over here fucking whoever you could get into your bed."

"I was just trying to get over you, I swear I knew you'd be doing the same." He sat on his bed so we were eye level. "I don't know what to say other then I'm sorry and they didn't mean anything to me Dasha, you gotta fucking believe me on that shit. Look at me."

I looked at him. "Hap, this is killing me so much right now." I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. "This, this shit is my worst nightmare. I wanted to believe you wouldn't have fucked anyone. I just wanted to keep that image of you being wrecked and faithful."

"I was wrecked. Still am. That's for fucking sure. You know how scary it was for me to know you just fell off the fucking face of the earth? That you're so good at hiding that not even four charters could find any fucking thing on your ass! Not even SAMDINO and they were the fucking closest to you. You just disappeared and I thought the fucking worst. I thought you were dead somewhere." He stood and started to pace the room like a caged lion. "I'm so fucking in love with you Dasha that I told my mom about you and she basically called me an idiot for listening to your dad!"

"I think everyone believes you're an idiot for listening to him and that cunt of a doctor!" I hissed. "I'm sorry if I scared you, that wasn't my intention. My intent was to take time away from all this bullshit. I was heartbroken. Still heartbroken about it alright! I've been having night terrors again because of this shit Hap!"

"What?" He stopped his pacing and looked at me. "They're back?"

"Yeah." I nodded and he hugged me. "They're even worse than before. In every dream I blow my brains out Happy."

"Fuck." He rubbed his head. "We need to get you to a fucking doctor. Alright, I know we're fighting but don't fight me on this shit Dasha."

"Relax." I touched his arm. "I already saw a doctor. Juice went with me. He even sat in the room with me for moral support."

"Okay, good." He sat down. "I'm so fucking sorry and I'm willing to work shit out between us. Give me a chance?"

I blinked at him. Happy never seemed the type to beg or plead but here he was. Asking for a chance. "Fine, but we're not back together, we're working on shit. Starting with you getting tested for any STDs or whatever. You got that Hap? No more sluts either! You better set them ALL straight too. I don't give a fuck if you have to call a press conference to so it. Let them know you're off limits. Got it?"

"Yeah." He nodded and smirked. "I'll let them know. I don't want you hanging out with Kyle."

"Oh my god." I rolled my eyes. "I don't even fucking hang out with them and I'm mad at you for taking him to the fucking ring for no good reason Lowman."

"He kept talking about you!" He boomed. "I don't like that bullshit!"

"I don't like the fact you probably slept with every sweetbutt in this place twice Hap! You don't see me saying don't hang out here! Obviously you can't keep your dick in your pants!" I glared at him. "You fuck anyone who isn't here for the sole purpose of fucking the guys?"

"Nah." He waved his hand in the air. "Just fucking calm down little girl, we're supposed to be working on us. Not yelling at each other. Although you are sexy when you yell."

"You are on probation with me. You entertain anyone of those sluts and you can forget about us working shit out. You hurt me Hap and it'll probably take awhile for me to trust you again. Alright?" I pulled my hoody off. "I love you but I'm not going to rush back into shit with you."

"I get it." He grabbed my hands. "I'll win you back little girl."

"Alright." I smiled. "You and I are working on shit. Now go to the clinic and get tested, then plan a date for us. I mean it."

"What're you going to do?" He frowned down at me.

"Annoy your ass." I laughed. "Let's see if you can take what you dish out."

"What does that mean?" He stared at me and I shrugged.

#

"I talked to Hap." I stared at Jax as I spun around on the stool. "It went alright."

"Why you look sad then?" He stopped working on the car.

"Because I found out that man is a damn whore." I rolled my eyes. "It's weird, I mean I knew before but like this time it's different."

"I'm not getting into this conversation with you. I know where you're going with this shit and I'm not ratting on my brother Dasha." I turned away and went back to working on the car.

"Fine." I stood. "I'm going to see if I can talk to Malia about it then."

"Leave it alone Dasha." He called out as I left the garage.

"D!" Malia wrapped her arms around my waist. "I saw Happy smiling, you talk it out with him?"

"We're going to work on shit." I smiled. "It's not going to be easy being around here knowing he fucked every slut in this damn place."

"I overheard a sweetbutt saying Lyla and Hap fucked." She frowned at me. "I'm sure it's not true."

"Jeez." I sat at the bar. "I hope that's not true. If it is, omg."

"What?" She looked at me. "I don't like that look in your eye Dasha. You look like you're scheming."

"I am." I nodded. "See that big ass dude over there? Long hair and beard, that's Lyla's old man. Just got out of jail a few days ago."

"And?" She looked at him.

"Go mention to him what you heard and if fireworks ensue we know it's true and Happy will get an ass beating. He'll stand in the ring and take it like a man and if he didn't fuck her he'll fight back. I'm so pissed." I shook her. "I'm hoping it's not true. I don't think I could handle that shit Malia."

"Just let it go then." She hugged me. "If you dwell on shit he did when you were broken up it'll eat you alive."

"It's already eating me alive." I rolled my eyes. "I've been having really bad night terrors and yes, I found a new doctor. Juice took me."

"Good." She smiled. "Still don't dwell. I'll handle this shit alright? I'll listen in and bring the Intel to you."

"Alright." I sighed. "I'll die if he fucked Lyla. Like out of everyone, he decides to fuck one of the women that has made this place absolutely unbearable."

"Speaking of the bitch." Malia pointed towards the door as Ellie, Lyla, and Kenny walked into the clubhouse. "I don't think she'd fuck him. She has an old man and she doesn't seem that spiteful."

"I guess, but I have band practice. They actually want me in the band still." I stood. "Gotta channel my inner devil worshipper."

"Smudge your eye makeup. It'll help with that." She laughed.

"You're coming with me." I linked my arm through hers. "You need to tell me about my niece or nephew."

"We're on lockdown!" Jax yelled.

"But I have band practice!" I grabbed him. "Jackson!"

"Invite them here then Dasha." He shrugged. "Set up over by the stripper poles."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes. "I'm inviting Ima!"

"I don't care. Whatever makes the Princess happy." He winked. "Don't leave this building though, unless someone is on you."

"From one lockdown to another." I laughed as Malia rolled her eyes at me.

"Princess?" She scoffed. "What have I been missing around here?"

"A whole lot, I'll fill you in on everything over pizza and band practice." I hugged her. "You're going to get a kick out of all this Charming shit. Be happy you're far from it baby sis."


	42. Chapter 42 Ring

_A light chapter before things get dark and the attacks on Esai and Malia come to a true head. _

_Again you guys thanks so so much for the reviews. They're truly appreciated. _

* * *

><p>Malia POV<p>

"What are we doing in here?" I looked at Dasha, Ellie, Ima, and some new chick Dasha just had to bring into our circle, Winsome.

"It's the only quiet space." Dasha said as she pulled out her camera and laptop. "I want all of us to be friends."

"I'm younger than all of you." Ellie frowned.

"And?" Dasha smirked. "You'll bring the average age down. Rock on."

"I don't want to be rude or anything but I don't think we're allowed to be in the garage." Winsome played with her hair and looked around nervously.

"It's fine, I cleared it with Prince Charming." Dasha smiled. "We're going to be okay Winnie, you need a drink or something?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Okay, so D." I started. "Spill!"

"Photoshoot, duh." Dasha handed me her camera and laptop. "We need outfits, anything will do really. Especially if you can talk the men out of their flannels, hoodies, hats, and beanies. Not literally out of them. Like borrow some."

"We're going to model men's clothing?" I scoffed. "That's dumb."

"No." She shook her head. "We mix our clothing with theirs. It'll be I borrowed my boyfriend's clothes but I still look chic." She stood in front of us and unzipped her jacket. "Juice's shirt, my jeans. I look cute."

"Yeah, you do." Ima smiled. "I'm sitting this out, I don't want my face bashed into the bar. Nose jobs are expensive."

"I know, I Googled it for Dasha." I laughed. "So much for an early birthday present."

"We just assign guys. Winsome you ask Chibs, Ellie you ask Juice, Malia you ask Tig, and I'll ask Hap." Dasha pointed towards the door. "Tara is all over Jax and Lyla is all over Opie so those guys can't be asked. The prospects are fair game. Then we'll pool our clothes together and make it work."

"So this is a sleepover?" Ellie looked at Dasha with a bright smile and eyes.

"Yes, Ellie m'lady this is an impromptu sleepover." She smiled. "Let's get this done. Here's to new friends and making memories!"

"Can I ask dad? Tig scares me still. Even more so than Hap does and Hap is basically my brother in law." I frowned at her back as we walked into the clubhouse.

"Sure." She shrugged as we filed in and found the men in various states of drunkenness. "Let's hit it girls."

"Dad." I tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Can I borrow a hoody, flannel, and any club merch you may have in your room? I'm cold."

"Sure." He shrugged and sipped his beer as he gave me a once over. "If you put weight on, you wouldn't cold inside warm building."

"That didn't cross my mind at all." I tilted my head and watched Dasha talk to Happy who was smiling goofily down at her. "Hap, he's looking Happy again."

"Yeah," he turned and stared. "She's actually good for him. He's learned new torture methods from her."

"She teach him the vegetable peeler trick?" I rolled my eyes. "It's disgusting but gets the job done."

"I don't even wanna know." He rolled his eyes and handed me his key. "The door is locked. You getting along with Ima and Winsome?"

"Yeah, Ima is scared of the club and Winsome is squirrelly." I shrugged. "I like them because Dasha does. Then there's Ellie, I can tell she looks up to Dasha already."

"Just like you did." He patted my head.

"I still do!" I laughed. "Don't drink too much dad. Not good for your body. You're not young anymore."

"I'm young! I can't even retire yet!" He shook his head.

"You're about to be a grandpa." I hugged him. "You're old, PopPop."

"I'm not being called that, better call me Kozik." He waved me away.

#

"This is actually fun." I looked around the pile of clothing we had dropped onto the cleanest tarp Dasha could talk Hap out of.

"None of the clothes that fit you guys will fit me." Ellie frowned and held up a pair Dasha's shortest shorts.

"Yes!" Dasha snatched them. "These, are a no though. I don't want your dad squeezing my head like a lemon."

"What is cute and can fit me?" Ellie looked at Dasha expectantly.

"You like dresses?" Dasha started pulling out a pile of her Maxi dresses and Maxi skirts. "Don't judge me for having all this clothing on me. I just wanted options and this shit travels easy."

"That one is cute." Ellie held up a black maxi skirt. "Really cute!"

"It'll fit perfectly, plus you can play it up with a crop top or you can play it down with this fashionable black shirt that you got from Juice. Smedium. He wears a smedium." She handed it to her. "Or even a white shirt, but I don't know. Let's just have fun and bond."

"I love it." Ellie twirled after she tugged it on. "I want to buy one like this."

"Just keep it." Dasha shrugged. "Throw on a band shirt and chucks and wear it to school."

"Nice of you to take her under your wing." I whispered to Dasha as she started pushing her jeans down. "You trying to replace me?"

"I could never replace you!" She hugged me. "You're my sister and best friend Malia. I would be really lost if we ever lost contact or you died."

"Same." I kissed her forehead. "I love you Dasha."

"I love you too Malia." She hugged my tighter. "Omg, we're so sappy, if we keep going I may just full out ugly cry Malia."

"Same." I sniffed and wiped my eyes. "I just missed you."

"I'm sorry I didn't reach out, I should have but I just didn't want you to talk me out of leaving." She adjusted my flannel. "I learned a lot, I can deal with terrors on my own, I can take care of myself away from everyone. If you and dad both died right now, I could survive. Most of all I learned that I don't really need Happy, I just really want him. That's a huge amazing difference. I'm in love with him. I do hope it works out really well."

"I'm proud of you D." I smiled at her. "I plan to do that thing we talked about, the Lyla thing."

"Alright." She nodded. "Let's get this shit started."

I watched her as she set up the camera and the laptop. A smile permanently on her face as she moved from friend to friend. It was typical Dasha, making a good moment out of a bad situation.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Any reason you're dressed like Jax?" Kyle draped an arm over my shoulder as we sat at the picnic table.

"Yeah." I smirked. "I'm channeling my inner Teller, in case I have to marry into the family. I'm the princess after all."

"No." He laughed. "I can't see you and him together at all. You and Hap working on shit?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "We indeed are. You and your girlfriend still together?"

"Yeah. Indeed we are." He scoffed. "You really stopped being my friend when you found out, why?"

"Because I don't like men with girlfriends or wives. If you were single everything would have played out differently. Plus it wasn't serious, we were just flirting back and forth." I stood as Happy and Opie walked towards us.

"You're perfect." He poked my lowerback as Happy glared at him.

"Shit, tell me something I don't know." I laughed. "Hap, I have to talk to you about some shit."

"I was just coming to talk to you." Happy grabbed my hand.

"Wait." Opie said. "I want to thank you for being kind to my kid. She really seems to like you."

"I like her. She's fucking smart and talented. Just needs a boost of self confidence, I'll get her there." I smiled and he gave me a quick hug. "I'll catch up with you later Opie."

"Bye D." He nodded.

"You're popular." Happy pulled me towards his bike. "I planned a date for us."

"Really?" I looked at him.

"Yeah." He smirked. "Just dress for the weather. It's in two days."

"Yes!" I hugged him. "I can't wait babe."

"I also got tested." He handed me a folded piece of paper. "All clean."

"I see." I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "This is good. I do have a question though, I've been hearing about it from the croweaters."

"What?" He grabbed my hands.

"Did you fuck Lyla?" I blinked up at him and he slowly nodded yes. "Jesus fucking Christ Happy!" I smacked his chest.

"I was just trying to distract myself. She didn't mean shit and for a fucking porn star she sucked in bed." He pulled me in for a hug. "She didn't matter."

"You're such a fucking whore Happy. How you feel right now if I was the one who fucked that many people? Would you even want me back if I fucked as many guys as you've fucked women?" I rolled my eyes.

"I would be pissed the fuck off Dasha. I don't even wanna think of that shit. I'm sorry alright." He kissed my forehead. "It won't ever happen again. I fucking promise you that little girl. I love you. I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too but that doesn't make that shit hurt any less babe. Like you know I'm going to have to beat Lyla's ass for this." I tugged on his shirt. "If Opie finds out you know he's going to beat your fucking ass Happy!"

"I'll take it." He shrugged. "Only shit I can do, but it's not my fault he married a damn slut."

"Yeah." I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go inside, I have to clear the stripper area for my band practice."

"You gonna tell me about that tattoo on your wrist?" He grabbed my arm and traced the letters with his finger. "Looks sort of familiar."

"Yeah." I laughed. "I was going for that." I ran my fingers over his body where his Psycho Crew tattoo was. "Love you Happy. You still gotta keep winning me over."

"Love you too." He kissed me. "I'll get you back as my lady."

"Be nice to Kyle! I don't care if he's an asshole. He's my friend." I walked away from him. "Play nice!"

#

"Never been here before." Brian looked around. "Amazing vibe."

"Yeah." I smiled. "We all set up and ready to go?"

"What song?" Ellie looked at us from her perch on the raised stage.

"Um, I think we're rehearsing Sweet Things." I grabbed the microphone. "Guys I decided to go by Dasha instead of Gypsy. I like Dasha better now."

"Thank god." Adam laughed. "We like Dasha better too."

"Alright! Sons of Anarchy I'm Dasha and we're the Pretty Recluses." I spoke into the microphone. "I'm going to be singing a medley of my favorite songs. If you're religious, I suggest you leave the room now!"

"What are you doing?" Gemma glared at me.

"Band practice, rehearsal, planning." I smiled down at her.

"Pack it up Princess." She crossed her arms.

"Nah." I shook my head. "Jackson said I could do it."

"I don't care." She shook her head. "I don't want more annoying noise on top of the regular noise."

"Gemma." I started. "I don't think you have any say in this. I cleared it with Jax. He said I could do whatever because I'm the princess."

"I don't care. Pack it up." She yanked the plugs from the wall.

"I'll handle this guys." I dropped off the stage and pulled my flannel off. "If I'm going to be called a princess, might as well cash in on the benefits."

"You should just let Gemma be Gemma D." Malia grabbed my arm. "This is not that serious."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "I just want to sing and dance around." I glanced at Gemma as she smirked beside Tara and Lyla. "Nah, fuck that. Look how smug that bitch looks. I'm talking to Jax as soon as he gets back."

"Let it go." She shook her head. "Don't make trouble for yourself."

"I'm not." I clenched my fists. "I'm going to be calm about it. Look how smug those bitches look. Hap and Lyla did fuck. I asked him about it."

"Damn." She groaned. "It's too much drama around here. With E there isn't any besides the bomb in the car."

"If I should be so lucky." I smirked as I watched the men file in and head straight to chapel. "I'm going to grab Jax as soon as they come out. Watch my back yeah?"

"Duh." She hugged me. "Ima and Winsome are lucky that they're sleeping right now."

"Ugh I know." I laughed. "Downers."

"Figures that they're pill poppers." She sat down.

"Yeah, but I like them both. I wanna get to know Winniw some more." I nodded and sat down on her lap. I was going to get Jax to give me my way, regardless of what I had to do.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"So we're backing the Mayans." Jax looked at all of us. "We help them solve their Chinese problem, then they help us out in the future."

"Alright." I nodded. "That sounds like a good plan."

"I know." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Yeah." Jax smirked. "We gotta deal with the bastard that tried to blow Esai and his old lady up."

"How do we do that?" Happy asked as he flashed me a knowing look.

"Surveillance." Juice smirked. "I'm on it Prez."

"Then, we're done here. Juice you set shit up and let me know." Jax banged the gavel.

I sat and watched everyone else file out. "Jax, I need to tell you some shit."

"Dasha good?" His face fell for a second before he regained his composure.

"Yeah. It's actually about Esai." I frowned. "Malia is Esai's old lady."

"What?" He rubbed his forehead. "That why she never comes around here and when she does she keeps to herself or just sits with D?"

"Yeah, she's keeping her distance. Plausible deniability." I smiled. "She can't say shit if she doesn't hear shit. I just wanted to let you know, because she's in deep. They live together and she's pregnant."

"Grandpa!" He laughed. "I got you Koz, we're going to put an end to this shit."

"Don't call me that. I'm just relieved it isn't Dasha who's pregnant." I stood. "That would be a nightmare."

"Why?" He followed me out as Dasha approached us.

"Because Hap is old." I shrugged.

"Jackson!" Dasha grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him back into chapel and slammed the doors behind them.

"She's pissed because Hap fucked Lyla, then Gemma shut down her band rehearsal." Malia dragged me towards the sofa.

"Jesus, he fucked her?" I frowned. "I'm kicking his fucking ass!"

"Dad!" Malia yelled and I moved around her.

"You, me. Ring now." I shoved Happy forward. "You know what you did Hap!"

"Yeah, yeah." He turned and followed me out of the clubhouse. "I apologized to her about it."

"I don't give a fuck." I pushed him against the wall. "You know that bitch as been giving my kid hell but you still fucked her."

"Bad decision." He conceded. "Do what you have to brotha."

"I will." I handed my kutte and shirt to Malia as she looked on in a frantic state.

"What is going on?" Dasha came flying at me. "Are you two really gonna fight each other right now?"

"He's not fighting, he's going to take the ass beating he deserves." I whispered to her.

"It's not your fight dad." She gritted. "Let this shit go and let the rightful person handle it."

"Fine." I grabbed my shit from Malia and stormed off. I was going to let Opie handle Happy. It was the right thing to do even thought every fiber of my being was telling me to bash Hap's face in.


	43. Chapter 43 Prom Pictures

Dasha POV

"He's so hot." Winsome smiled as she watched Jax and Happy train in the ring.

"Amazing in bed." Ima sighed.

"I know." Winsome chuckled.

"Omg! Am I the only one who hasn't fucked him?" I rolled my eyes and watched Happy. "I don't like being left out like that.

"I'm thinking orgy!" Ima yelled and Jax and Happy stopped to look at us. "Hell yeah Princess we're getting you laid!"

"Yeah we are!" Winsome added. "Taking you to the club and getting you LAID!"

"Oh yeah!" I laughed and stood up with them. "You guys are gonna get my ass in trouble with Happy."

"Ooo lala." Ima pointed towards Juice. "Ya! Juicy! You're looking good right now!"

"I'm just gonna go hide." I covered my face and hid behind my hollering friends. "You guys are terrible influences."

"Hey." Juice jogged over to us. "You good Dasha? You look flushed."

"I'm embarrassed." I laughed and looked at him from behind Ima. "I'm sorry for them, they have no home training."

"I have training." Winsome smirked. "I know how to act around a man."

"I know Winnie, I know." I hugged her. "You about to go for a run?"

"I'm going to run around the lot, we're still kind of on the lockdown." He smiled. "You inviting yourself to join me?"

"Yeah." I pulled my shirt over my head. "I am prepared."

"It has pot leaves on it!" He touched the sports bra. "That's bad ass Dasha."

"I thought you'd like it. Matching shorts and everything." I adjusted my sweats so the waistband of the shorts peaked over. "Let's get this shit started, where's my shake?"

"Missed that part." He laughed. "Hop on."

"Right on." I hopped on his back. "Drop me and you're dead!"

He laughed. "You're like five pounds. I'm not going to drop your ass."

"Can we box instead?" I looked at Jax and Hap who were getting out. "I can kick your ass."

"You're on." He set me on the apron. "Bring it Kozik."

"Yeah, yeah Ortiz." I laughed.

"What're you doing?" Happy appeared behind Juice, an irritated look plastered on his face.

"Boxing." I smiled.

"Can we talk a minute in private?" He asked as he stepped in front of Juice. "Please?"

"Yeah." I dropped down to my feet. He picked me up and hauled me to the furthest corner of the lot and set me down.

"You trying to make me mad?" He glared down at me.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about Hap."

"I heard what those two sluts were fucking saying Dasha." He placed his arms on my shoulders. "You gonna take them up on the offer to get you laid?"

"Nope." I shook my head. "Hap, I just let them fucking talk. If I was going to fuck someone other than you, guess what?! I would have fucking done it already Happy. I only want you! I don't know why but I do!"

"Then what's with letting Juice getting all handsy with you little girl?" He ran his thumbs under my bra. "I don't fucking like that shit?"

"We're friends!" I rolled my eyes and slapped his hands away. "He let me crash at his place Hap. You going to fucking tell me I can't have friends or some shit?"

"I'm telling you, don't let no other fucking man touch you." He grabbed my hips. "As far as I'm concerned you're my lady again and I won't stand for that flirty bullshit Dasha."

"Then fix us Hap!" I pushed his hands away. "I'm not fucking you until you show me you can be faithful and not stick your dick in any pussy that falls into your lap."

"I fucked up, you going to keep holding that shit against me?" I rubbed his head and stared at me. "They didn't fucking mean shit to me Dasha. I promise you that shit babe! You're really going to make me plead with you on this shit?"

"I just need you to show me that I matter to you. As far as I'm concerned you think I'm replaceable." I shrugged and tried to move around him.

"Cut that shit out." He stopped me. "You know that shit ain't true, if you were replaceable I wouldn't have told my ma about your ass. Dasha, I love you. You know that."

"I'm not doubting that fact Hap. I know that you love me." I smiled. "The problem is why did you try to deny it? Why not fix it as soon as it happened? I don't get that shit!"

"I thought I was doing the right thing." He grabbed my hips. "Don't be fucking mad at me anymore. I hate this shit Dasha. I really fucking hate this shit."

"I'm not mad, alright? I'm hurt that you fucked Lyla." I placed my hands on his wrists. "Can I go back to boxing with Juice now?"

"Nah, I want us to hang out." He kissed my forehead. "Don't fight me on this shit."

"Fine." I smirked.

#

"We've been hanging out all day." I looked at Happy. "Can you make me something to eat? I'm starving."

"Does if look like I can cook?" He scowled. "I don't."

"Can you get me a burger?" I kicked the back of his legs. "I'm starving!"

"Did you really fucking kick me?" He glared at me.

"Yeah!" I stood up. "I'm going to find me something to eat."

"I'm staying here." He looked at me. "I'm not hungry."

"Oh I'm bout to get my flirt on." I walked out of the room. "Hey Juice!"

"Dasha." The door flew open and Happy stepped it and scowled. "You're funny little girl."

"I knew that'd get you out here with me Hap." I laughed. "I'm excited for the date tomorrow. Did you guys handle the Mayans issue?"

"Yeah we took out the Chinese." He smirked and held my hand. "You really going to make work hard to claim you as mine again?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You didn't even have to work the first time."

"I know." He smiled. "You took me home first date."

"But we didn't fuck, we made out and talked." I squeezed his hand.

"I'm not the type for romance." I groaned.

"You got me that Hello Kitty and a puppy." I laughed. "You get rid of my dog Lowman?"

"Yeah, gave him to Tig." He shrugged. "I'll get you a better one."

"Alright, no rush though." I opened the pizza box. "Score! It's cold."

"Gross." He sat down on the stool and pulled me between his legs. "You're gorgeous."

"I know." I smiled. "You're handsome Happy."

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Babe!" I wrapped my arms around Esai's neck and kissed him. "I fucking missed your fine ass."

"I missed you too." He squeezed my ass and smiled. "How was Charming?"

"Fun!" I chirped. "I loved bonding with Dasha and her circle of friends. One is an ex pornstar, one is a prostitute and the other is a teen girl who idolizes Dasha."

"You look happy. I'm glad you had a good time." He kissed my neck. "How's my baby boy?"

"He's good." I smirked as he kissed my belly. "He's been kicking."

"Arright, football player!" He beamed. "I can't wait to tell my ma."

"Dasha, her and Hap are talking and shit." I shrugged. "She's making that man do so much shit to get her back."

"That's how it should be. He scares the crap out of me." He frowned. "I don't see how she's not scared."

"She brought him home first night they met." I rolled my eyes. "It's been like that ever since. I honestly think he's more afraid of her."

He laughed. "I can see that shit."

"It's ridiculous." I plopped onto the bed. "I'm glad to be back home."

"Glad you're back. I been wanting to cuddle since you left." He laid down and pulled me close to him. "We solved the main issue but there's still some shit happening."

"Okay should I keep a bag packed for lockdown?" I ran my hand over my stomach.

"Nah." He yawned. "It's not serious enough for that. I don't think we should be getting any death threats or shit like that."

"Good." I closed my eyes and settled against him.

#

"I love this color." I plucked the color sample off the shelf and turned it over in my hands. "All I know is I don't want blue anything. I want this room pretty modern."

"So grey?" Esai looked at me. "I'm with is ruca."

"I think it's weird." Fiasco shook his head and pulled a paint color card from the wall. "I think orange would be better Malia."

"Too bright, I want grey with some sort of accent color. Like red." I shrugged and pointed to the paint so the men could grab them. They were here for muscle not for their decorating expertise. "Aw look babe, they have motorcyle and lowrider borders."

"Get them both." Esai leaned over the cart and pulled the borders off the hooks. "Just in case."

I laughed. "I'm not opposed to the idea of a border."

"What else do we need?" He smiled at me.

"Brushes, plastic to cover that carpet, and those cute little letters so we can spell out his name over the crib." I read off my list. "Then we can head home for the time being."

"That's it?" Fiasco looked at me. "No baby furniture?"

"Not yet, kind of have to pain first. I think." I laughed and shrugged. "I don't just want boxes of furniture cluttering the house until we're ready to put it together."

"I don't get it but alright." Fiasco smirked and pulled the cart behind him as he walked towards the brushes.

"He's a character." I bumped my shoulder into Esai. "Him and D would be best friends."

"I really want to spend time with Dasha, see if her and I can't be best friends and bond over car interiors." He laughed. "I think it would be cool to be friends with her. What do you think?"

"I think that's absolutely perfect." I kissed his cheek. "Gotta remember though, she can have weird mood swings and break at any moment."

"If she breaks, I call the ambulance right?" He stopped in front of a display of wooden shapes. "I think he's going to like football but I'm not sure."

"Lacrosse." I laughed. "That's what he's going to play babe."

"I don't know. That's a white kid sport. A rich white kid sport." He held the soccer ball in his hand as he pulled off all the animals with his free hands. "I love animals in a kid's room. Tessa had so many animals in her room. Her first word was moo."

"Lacrosse was created by Native Americans though. Then white people stole it like always." I pushed my hair from my face. "I would cry is Esai said moo before mama."

"He's saying Dada before anything. I promise you that. I'm going to spend so much time with him that he won't even have any doubt that he should say it." He tossed the shapes into the cart as we reached Fiasco but stayed back.

"You think he'll get her number?" I watched as Fiasco talked to a blonde.

"Yeah, white girls love Fiasco. They see his mouth and it's done with." Esai rolled his eyes and palmed my belly. "He takes full advantage."

"How'd he end up with a mouth full of platinum anyways?" I stood with my back against Esai. Our stance read prom pictures to the max as he rested his hands on my stomach.

"It was brutal, some psycho agent that was after the Sons went after Fiasco and his buddy Gomes to get information. When they didn't talk, he used their teeth as bottle openers." He shuddered and I grimaced. "Pussy magnet though."

"Ridiculous." I rolled my eyes. "That story makes me want to baby him. Like seriously. You met that kid Juice right?"

"Yeah I have." He chuckled. "Not the best experience, he got his leather stolen and my dad got it back. Be makes us Latinos look bad babe."

"That's not even where I was going but alright babe. I was going to say I just want to baby Juice forever and forever. The guys give him shit all the fucking time and he just takes it because he wants a family, I want us to be his family because the club is toxic for guys like him. He's sensitive." I sighed. "I just want him to know there's people outside the club who love and care for him too."

"I'm not opposed to hanging out with the kid." Esai smiled. "Have him over for a BBQ or something."

"I will." I smiled as we walked towards the checkout. If it was anything, I wanted Juice around. He was the only Son I genuinely cared for other than my dad. Although Happy was with my sister, I didn't really care for him.


	44. Chapter 44 Anxiety Ridden

Dasha POV

"The beach!" I yelled when Happy turned his bike off and I was free to slide off and jump around like a damm fool. "Hap! It's perfect." I threw myself in his arms and he smirked.

"Knew you'd love it." He took the backpack from my back. "Let's find a spot Dasha."

"Yeah." I grabbed his hand and let him guide the way as I kept my eyes painted on the vicious waves of the great Pacific Ocean. "It's gorgeous."

"I know it's not our spot up in Tacoma but I think it'll be a spot for us down here." He stopped at a clearing. "You love it?"

"It's perfect." I nodded. "I can't believe this babe." I took in the way the trees created a perfect frame for the beach.

"Glad you love it." He leaned down and kissed me. "This shit was hard for me until I realized what you would enjoy."

"It's romantic." I hugged him around his waist and smiled. "Might even just reward you with some sex."

"Is that right?" He squeezed my ass and chuckled. "Let's lay the blanket out and we can talk and stuff."

"Yeah." I slipped my hands under his shirt and smiled. "Let's get this picnic thing set up."

He pulled away and spread out the blanket and a shit load of my favorite snacks along with sandwiches and pink lemonade. "Don't look at me like that, I paid attention to what you eat."

"I think it's sweet." I dropped to my knees and picked up a pack of Red Vines and tore it open. "It's sexy."

"Yeah." He sat down next to me. "So talk, what was LA like?"

"It was pretty cool. Met a lot of different characters, cool tattoo artist who did my Psycho bracelet. He invited me and Ima to a pool party. It was amazing! The house and the people. Ima of course was a slut." I laughed. "Made some connections for shoots and stuff."

"Pool party?" He said roughly as he took one of my Red Vines.

"Yeah don't even worry about it, nothing happened. I didn't kiss or fuck the guy." I picked up a sandwich and sniffed it. "You forgot the jalape帽os on these huh?"

"You can tell that from the smell?" He took the sandwich and opened it up. "I guess I did forget."

"It's fine." I took a bite of the sandwich. "It's really good. You even remembered the sweet and regular pickles."

"I got a question to ask you." He looked at me. "A serious question."

"Uh oh." I blinked at him expectedly. "What is it?"

"Do you want to meet my ma?" He fiddled with the chain on his wallet as he stared at me.

"Yeah I do. Do you wanna meet my dad?" I laughed. "He's a real swell fellow, I swear."

He chuckled. "I knew Koz couldn't be your dad, he's too neurotic."

"Right!" I shook my head and laughed. "I love that man more than I'll ever tell him. If I do, I know his head will double in size and it's huge as is."

"He loves you too. Tells us all the time when he's drunk. Don't tell him I told you but he cried when he found out you left and we couldn't track your ass down Dasha." He took a big bite of my sandwich. "Never seen the man so sad."

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. I just needed space and time." I shrugged. "What's done is done and there's no way to change it. So we're moving forward. So when do we see your ma?"

"When we're finished here. So does this mean you're my lady again?" He smiled wide.

"Yeah." I tackled him. "I'm your lady and you're my man BUT we have to set some ground rules."

"Which are?" He sat us up and tugged on my hair.

"No pussy but mine, you don't keep any secrets from me, stay away from Lyla and you HAVE to find some way to tell Opie you slept with his old lady because I like him a lot." I kissed his nose. "Got it Lowman?"

"Yeah I do." He shook his head firmly. "I will tell him and accept my beating."

#

"Babe." I gripped Happy's hand with both of mine as he tried to pull me towards the front door of his mom's house. "No. I'm not ready for this Happy."

"Too late." He laughed. "I'll carry your ass up there Dasha."

"Babe! Omg! I should have rinsed the blue out of my hair. I'm a smurf." I whined and stomped my feet. "I look like a freak."

"She knows what you look like, I showed her a picture of you with blue hair." He lifted me up and carried me the rest of the way to the house. "She'll love you, just mind your mouth. No fuckin' cussing."

"I will try." I smiled as he pulled open the door and set me inside.

"Ma!" He yelled out.

"Happy." A short woman came walking out of what I assumed to be the the kitchen. "Dasha." She hugged me tightly.

"Hello." I smiled.

"Prettier than the picture." She directed us to the sofa. "I have empanadas cooling down, I will grab us some. Sit be comfortable. Happy come help me load them up."

"Ugh." I wiped my hands on my jeans and looked around the room. There were pictures everywhere and I assumed the little boy in the pictures was Happy. The glare was there and everything.

"Here we go." She set out a tray. "Caramel apple. So Dasha, tell me a little about yourself."

"I write, like a lot. I went to college, have my bachelor's in literature. I have a younger sister who is my best friend, I love dancing and getting my picture taken." I smiled.

"Any kids?" She held my hand.

"Nope, I don't have any kids. I don't have plans to have any. I love other people's children but I don't really see myself raising kids of my own." I sighed.

"Kids are a blessing." She looked sad for a moment. "Your sister have any kids?"

"She's actually pregnant with her first child. She's having a son and I'm pretty excited about spoiling that kid." I laughed.

"What makes you not want to have any kids?" She glared at me.

"Ma." Happy rasped.

"Nah, it's okay." I pushed my hair behind my ears. "I'm bipolar, and I have these times where I have bad mood swings. I don't think I want to raise a kid in that environment. I went through it with my mom and it was pretty rough."

"Oh." Was all she managed to get out before things got really uncomfortable and I felt my anxiety creep up the scales rapidly.

"Excuse me." I stood up and walked out of the front door. Gasping for air as the anxiety won out.

"Dasha." Happy touched my back. "I'm sorry about that."

"I'm fine." I sat on the curb. "I just, I don't know."

"Crack under pressure?" He sat down next to me. "I didn't think she would press the issue. I'm sorry babe."

"It's fine, it's totally fine." I looked at him. "Really, it's fine."

"You don't have to go back in." He held my hand. "We can leave now."

"Nah, I want to finish this. Just give me a few minutes." I placed my head between my knees and started my breathing exercises.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Dad." Dasha grabbed my beer from me and stared at me.

"Dasha." I looked at her and tried to grab the beer back.

"Can we talk?" She looked around and frowned.

"Yeah." I stood up and walked with her outside.

"I met Hap's mom." She rolled her eyes and hugged me. "It was fucking terrible. I had an anxiety attack and ran out of the house."

"You're good now?" I rubbed her hair.

"Yeah, but she was more intense than Hap. Her question about kids is what sent me running." She frowned. "Why is it so hard to grasp why I don't want kids dad?'

"Because you're young." I laughed. "You say one thing and you could totally change your mind. If you don't want kids, I support that."

"Thanks." She smiled. "Maybe one day it will change but for now I'm certain kids are not in my future. Well only Malia's kid."

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Grandpa." She chuckled. "PopPop."

"Damn straight." I did a little dance and she laughed. "Don't sweat the small shit baby girl. Just focus on you and what you want to accomplish."

"I want to accomplish getting Hap to own up to his fuck up." She rolled her eyes. "Him and I are back together again."

"Duh." It was my turn to roll my eyes and scoff. "Figured it wouldn't take too long to work things out."

"Yeah." She sighed. "He got me this necklace." She held up the necklace. There was a diamond covered D on it.

"Cheap ass Hap, splurged on diamonds for you?" I looked at it. "Yeah, it's fucking official. He's in love."

She laughed. "Yeah he is."

"You happy though?" I grabbed her hands and examined the tattoos. "You good with everything?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "I have faith that we're going in the right direction. I hope that nothing he did while we were apart comes back to bite us in the ass. I really hope the Lyla thing gets handled. I want to beat her ass but I can't since him and I weren't together at the time."

"I thought you would beat Hap's ass up for sure." I laughed. "Would have bet money on it."

"I smacked him a few times. I love him though. I don't want him to be hurt on my account. I mean it would be lovely for him to feel how I felt when I found out he fucked someone else but I can't just spread my legs for anyone. I am not Malia." She frowned and fiddled with her necklace.

"I mean thank God for that shit." I rubbed my face. "I couldn't handle you both being sluts. I mean one is more than enough."

"Technically she's not even a slut. Esai has been the only man she's been with and she ended up knocked up and in love. Go figure, the lesbian wasn't actually a lesbian." She laughed.

"True. I was good with her being a lesbian though." I smiled. "You just like guys and women equally. I don't get that though. You'll either end up with a man or a woman."

"Ehh, it's not good to get into this topic because I know I only end up with one but I could be in a polyamory relationship some day." She shrugged. "You good pops?"

"Yeah you little blueberry." I laughed. "I'm fine."

"You want to hang out with me?" She smiled. "Like how we did when I was six and would force you to drink tea with me until one of us fell asleep?"

"Yeah, I'll put the tea on." I walked to the kitchen while she sat the bar.

#

"These are the pictures that I took while on vacation." Dasha handed me a photo album she had pulled from her backpack. "It was fun, I had some off moments but they came at the end of the trip."

"You got let into Disneyland?" I rolled my eyes and laughed. That's the last place I pictured her going.

"Yeah!" She tapped on the picture of her and Ima with the little mermaid. "I'm thinking red should be the next color dad."

"I think your natural color should be the next color Dasha." I smirked.

"Maybe." She nodded. "Look dad, I met that dude from that one show that you're secretly obsessed with."

"Gordon Ramsey." I looked at the picture. "Only man in afraid of Dasha don't let his smile ever fool you."

"If I'm not afraid of you and Hap, I think I'm either really brave or lack commonsense." She flipped to the next page.

"Jenn and Jade?" I ran my fingers over the embossed words. "Jenn?"

"We didn't use our real names out there. I was Jenn and she was Jade. I guess I was channeling mom or whatever. Don't make a big deal about it mmkay?" She shrugged.

"I鈥 won't." I sighed and smiled to myself. It was really the first time she was using her mom's image in a positive light. "What're you doing tomorrow or the day after Dasha?"

"Tomorrow I have appointments all day for my noggin and the next day I'm going to be seeing Malia and Esai." She looked at her phone. "Dad do you want to take a picture with me?"

"Yeah." I smiled and she scooted in closer to me.

"Don't look constipated. Try to smile for the picture." She smiled at me and took the picture. "Perfect." She showed me the phone and it was a perfect picture.

"Frame that!" I nodded. "I want ten copies of it."

"I can make it happen." She stood up and grabbed the album. "Thanks for hanging out with me dad. It was much needed. Love you Kozik."

"Love you too baby Kozik." I waved at her as she walked out of the clubhouse. Peace was creeping up slowly and I was content at where we were headed. I just hoped nothing tragic would come our way.


	45. Chapter 45 Spreading Legs

Dasha POV

I walked into Jax's room and found him asleep on his stomach. I padded to his sleeping for and tickled his sides and he woke up without much trouble and glared at me. "I need a HUGE favor to ask of you Prince Jackson."

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "What is it darlin'?"

"I want to have a family meeting." I smiled down at him. "Like how you guys do church, but with everyone even the women because, well I have some shit to get off my chest. I have some questions to ask the women and I know if everyone is around that can't wave me off with a scoff and eye roll."

"Why is it so important that they like you Dasha?" He stood and pulled on his shirt.

"It's important because I didn't do shit to make them treat me like I'm a lowly hang around. I mean I wouldn't care if I gave them a reason to hate me." I shrugged. "I mean don't I have a right to know why at least?"

"I mean yeah but I wouldn't worry too much about them. They'll like you eventually D." He pulled on his Reaper Crew hat. "I'll call the family meeting but I don't see why you care."

"Jax, it's important to me. I am bipolar, I have this tendency to either swing right and be happy all the time or swing left and kind turn into this mood changing impulsive bitch. I don't like rejection or shit it fucks up my mind." I sighed and crossed my arms. "You can understand that right? Would you want to be in a place where you weren't liked? I mean I need a reason behind the hatred."

"I go a lot of places where I'm not liked but you're right there are solid reasons behind the dislike." He pulled open the door and we stepped out. "I'll round everyone up."

"I appreciate this Jackson." I smiled and walked off to grab a bottle of water and my circle of friends. "Winnie, Ima, Malia, he agreed to the family meeting."

"Perfect." Malia smirked. "Pregnant or not, I'm still going to kick Tara in the fucking face, same with Lyla."

"Jewelry off, except rings. The chunkier the better." I smiled. "Tie your hair into a ponytail or bun. We're preparing for a fucking battle bitches."

I removed the necklace from my neck. "You guys, I just realized, Happy literally gave me the D."

"Oh shit!" Ima laughed and soon Winsome and Malia laughed along with us. "This is some dope shit."

"What's the plan anyways?" Winsome looked at me.

"Well, I'm going to give this speech. Saying how I want to be liked and I want to know why they don't like me. I'll touch on some sad points. Then if Tara gets in my face it's really on." I held up my hands, the chunky brass knuckle like rings caught the sunlight.

"They're ready for you." Jax poked his head out of the clubhouse doors and I nodded.

"Let the fun begin." I whispered and walked inside. Feeling them behind me before the split off to stand at the side.

"This is unusual, we never had a whole club, family type meeting but the Princess asked for one, so here we are. Be mindful and listen to her." Jax smiled and moved so I could have his spot.

"Um, so okay." I smiled at the crowd and most of them smiled back at me. "I usually hate speaking in front of people, but today I'm putting that dislike aside to get to the bottom of some important shit. But first a little background information about myself."

"We seriously have to listen to you talk about yourself?" Lyla looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"You heard Jax, I'm the princess you should be mindful and hear me out Lyla." I narrowed my eyes at her. "Anyways, I'm bipolar if you didn't already know that shit, I have a tendency to swing off the deep end any moment. Tacoma was my fresh start at life, I went there and made three connections in that whole club. Happy, Ninja, and the group of sweetbutts."

"Get to the point." Tara scoffed.

"I'm building up to the point of that Tacoma wasn't really home. It wasn't until the Charming guys came through for a visit that I got a sense of how powerful the family dynamic in the MC was. I mean I actually learned all the guys names in the club. TAC, I knew Lee and Ninja, besides the obvious two of Hap and Koz. But with Charming it was a new vibe, Juice and I hit it off. We had good chemistry, same with Jax, it was like this instantaneous reaction of damn, if I ever have to move I'll move to Charming because I want to be a part of that family." I sighed.

"Still not seeing a point." Tara said.

"Lee's daughter and I got into some shit ass fight, I ended up setting her car on fire then landed in the psych ward for two weeks. I'm brilliant at setting fires and I'm not opposed to setting you on fire Tara. It would settle a lot of bullshit between the two of us. Anyways what I'm trying to get at was Tacoma wasn't family, Charming is my family. I get along with everyone except for Tara and Lyla and I want to know why." I stared at both women. "Why don't you two like me? Don't even try to put it off as a trust thing either."

"You called a family meeting because Lyla and myself don't like you?" Tara stood up. "This is immature and a waste of time."

"I still want to know. Do you hate me because I've done something to you or do you simply hate me because of the friendship I have with Jax?" I crossed my arms and stopped her from walking past me. "This is a family and we're going to talk shit out. Everyone else is here to referee. If shit gets out of hand, they'll step in."

"You called a meeting because I don't want to be friends with a white trash stripper from Texas!" She shouted shrilly in my face. "You're trash, did you even finish high school?"

"Hold the fuck up bitch!" I hissed at her. "Don't let the hair and tattoos fool you, I graduated high school, I graduated from college and I stripped to put myself through college. I have no debt whatsoever. You're friend Lyla is a pornstar, that's way worse than me getting topless."

"You hang out with a pornstar and hooker Dasha." She pointed at Ima and Winsome.

"They're my best friends and I can see past their occupations and love them for who they are day to day." I shoved Tara backwards. "I came here to talk shit out not have some white trash doctor attempt to bash my character. I will fucking tell you this Tara, you say another fucking thing against my character and we're going to have a huge ass problem."

"Don't you have some pole you should be working right now?" She smirked and I nodded to Malia who started to approach.

"I am not a fighter but鈥 " I sent my hand into her face. "I make exceptions for cunts like you. You want to be immature act like we're in high school then let's fucking go bitch."

"No one step in." Jax said. "Let them work this shit out. I'm tired of it."

"I don't need this." Tara held her nose and stood up and tried to walk out but Ima shoved her back towards me. "Really? Two on one Dasha?"

"I mean, you have a friend." I smirked and hit her again. "You realizing she's not your ride or die?"

"I don't even fight?" Lyla hopped up only to go down hard from Malia tripping her. "Bitch!"

"See, now we're talking. This is a good old fashioned girl fight." I smiled as Tara tried to hit me. "Not catching me off guard this time."

"Enough!" Gemma stepped in and all hell broke loose.

"No one asked you Gemma!" I looked at her. "This shit is between me Tara and Lyla."

"Look Princess, you may be a woman scorned by Tara and Lyla but you really think they'd like you? Look at you and then look at them." She gestured to both bloody women.

"You like me." I sighed. "You're old."

"I'm going to let that slide because you're the princess of this fucked up palace but beating them to hell isn't going to help." She frowned.

"Actually yeah it is. It's the way we settle problems. Like the guys get into the ring, we fight too." I rolled my eyes.

"You got power little girl, use it for good not evil. In all my years of being around this place, I've never seen the president do such a favor for a lady. You got something these women don't have, power without having to spread your legs. Unless I'm missing something." She irked her brow.

"No. I didn't fuck Jax." I laughed. "I'm not a slut. I know hard to believe since I was a stripper and get along with every sweetbutt I usually meet. Now though, I don't like any of them. I'm not a slut and I don't fuck men who have girlfriends or wives."

"Good for you sweetheart, you done with this shit or do you have more shit to say?" She patted my head.

"Nah, I'm done here. For now." I shrugged. "I may or may not be calling another one of these soon."

"Please do." Tig hugged me. "I was waiting for you to stand up for yourself doll face."

"Aye." Chibs lifted his glass. "I know there's an order but I 'ate ta see ya picked on for no reason."

"Thanks Chibs." I hugged him.

"Fuck them." Juice rubbed my head. "You're my favorite lady besides Gemma."

"Yeah I nodded. "Thanks Juice. I guess this is my family after all and Tara and Lyla are the bitchy ass cousins who sit in the corner and talk shit."

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

I was seething. I really wanted nothing more then to keep bashing Lyla's face into the ground but I ceased and let the shit go. Plus Esai would kill me if I hurt myself and our son.

"I'm pissed the fuck off!" I tossed the half full beer bottle against the wall. "This shit is so fucking stupid. It's women like Tara who always want to go straight to character bashing. She may be a doctor but she's a white trash biker slut who's married to a man who can't even be faithful to her!"

"Tell me how you really feel Malia." Dasha smiled at me. "Go ahead, let all that shit out."

"I will kill that bitch! I put that on my son's life right fucking now." I rubbedy belly. "I don't care if it takes months or years but Tara will die by my fucking hands."

"See, everyone underestimates you." She smirked. "They think you're quiet and sweet but you're the deadliest one out of all three of us Koziks. Four if you count dad's brother who never even bothera to visit. He lives and works in San Francisco."

"He's a snob. Who would even want his ass around any ways?" I scoffed and aar down on Dasha's lap. "I'm happy you finally socked Tara even if Gemma stepped in. I don't know about her. One day she hates us, the next she hates one of us, then she'll love the both of us."

"I think it's the menopause or she's always trying to get us to prove that we're worthy of her love and kindness." Dasha laughed. "I mean, I think she loves us the most."

"The guys loved that you went off." I smirked.

"Yeah, in private Happy and dad basically tore me a new one." She shrugged. "I dislike them at times. Them and their goddamn pecking order bullshit."

"Men." I rolled my eyes. "I'm so happy Esai isn't like these MC dudes Dasha. He's sweet and emotional. Gah, he's perfect but as soon as he shrugs on that leather he sort of turns into an asshole. That life isn't for him."

"He was born into it. He's living it the best he can." She smiled. "I mean, I don't really have much one on one bonding experience with Esai but I think him and Juice would be best of friends."

"You read my mind." I smiled. "I suggested he have Juice over for a BBQ or something. My two emotional little babies."

"I honestly would hate to be locked up somewhere with your emotional babies Malia." She frowned. "Imagine being held captive or some shit and Esai or Juice were with you and had to save your ass."

"You always want to go there to your little kidnapping scenarios!" I smacked her shoulder. "You're going to materialize that shit."

"Who would even kidnap me?" She pushed me off her lap. "I have to go to my doctor appointment."

"Oakland?" I looked at her.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I'll race you there bitch!"

"You're on, ain't no way that truck is beating me." I scoffed.

"I'm bout to be on the back of a bike honey." She winked. "She if you can keep up with Happy."

#

"Babe." I stared at Esai as he made grilled cheese. "I want you and Dasha to bond over cars or some shit."

"Okay." He smirked at me. "Why?"

"Because she said she doesn't really know you one on one." I picked up a chunk of cheese and ate it. "You and her can look at lowriders or something."

"You don't have to sell me on the idea, I will do it. She's family." He slid a sandwhich on a plate and handed it to me. "Just let me know when she's free."

"I will." I smiled. "This sandwich is good. Watching food network has paid off for you really well."

"Yeah well you know. I'm chef Esai!" He poured tomato soup into a mug and handed it to me. "Easier to drink."

"I see that." I took a sip. "Holy shit, did you put hot sauce in this?"

"Jalape帽os then strained them out." He smiled. "You love it or what?"

"I will answer that depending on how our son reacts to the heat." I laughed. "If he starts kicking the shit out of me, I'll be keeping you up all night."

"Fine with me. You got plans tomorrow ruca?" He helped me walk with my food over to the sofa.

"I am going baby shopping with your mom, that's it why?" I set the soup down, I was not finishing it off.

"I got a free day tomorrow." He pulled me closer. "Was thinking we can do something together, make one of those paint a plate things."

"We can do that when I get home." I kissed him. "Love you babe."

"Love you too. Don't you ever forget it either." He smiled.


	46. Chapter 46 Concealed Weapons

Dasha POV

"Esai." I smiled as he opened the front door of the home he shared with Malia. "My sister home?"

"Nope." He shook his head. "Make yourself at home. She should be back in a hour of two. She went out with my mom. Baby shopping and shit. She tell you, you're getting a nephew?"

"A boy!" I jumped up and down. "I'm going to spoil that kid rotten. "I swear I am."

He laughed. "Good."

"Aww, I'm even more excited to see her now than I was when I rang the doorbell." I smirked. "I don't think we've had one on one time like this before. So tell me E, what are your intentions with my sister?"

He scoffed. "I want to show you something actually, before I show your dad or Malia." He stood and gestured for me to follow him.

"This is a nice ass office." I walked into the space. "I want one like this. Perfect set up."

"Yeah." He looked back at me as he opened his safe. "I want your thoughts on this." He placed a black ring box in my hand and all the air left my lungs.

"Woah." I opened it and admired the dazzling diamond that twinkled in the light. "I think she's going to fucking flip her lid when she sees it. You're going to propose traditionally?"

"Probably not. Nothing about us is traditional. I was thinking of putting it on a cupcake but I think she may end up eating it or some shit." He shrugged and I handed him the box back and he secured it in the safe. "So do I have your blessing?"

"Yeah." I hugged him. "Welcome to the family."

"Thanks." He stepped away from me as we heard a commotion in the living room. "Stay down." He grabbed a gun from his desk and peeked out of the room. "Shit."

"What?" I his behind the door. "Who is it?"

"Chinese." He glanced back at me. "Grab a gun and stay in here, you got that?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'll call Happy."

"Don't try to be a hero." He looked at me. "If you hear shots and I don't come back, don't fucking come after me. You got that shit? You be smart and hide or see if you can get out through the back but do not fucking come after me. If something happens to me, Malia is going to need you Dasha."

"I got it." I nodded and gripped the gun in my hands as I popped open the cabinet and slipped inside. I was thankful for being short. I breathed in and called Hap.

"What?" He answered roughly.

"I'm at Malia and Esai's." I whispered. "Chinese broke into the house and now I'm hiding."

"On my way." Was all he replied before the call ended and I heard shots go off followed by yelling then more shots.

"Fuck." I dialed Malia.

"Hey D." She said cheerfully.

"Malia, don't come home. I'm at your house and the Chinese broke in." I whispered. "Go to Marcus and stay there. Let him know."

"What?!" She yelled. "Alright, alright. Be safe D."

"I'm trying to be." I whispered as the cabinet door opened violently and I dropped my phone as a heavy hand came down and sent me into black

#

"This isn't what I planned." I whispered to Esai who was tied up next to me. "Not what I planned at all."

"I told you to hide!" He hissed as he adjusted his body.

"I did!" I rolled my eyes. "I was in the damn cabinet, I called my sister to let her know not to come over." I winked at him. "Don't need her getting hurt over nothing."

"Arright." He smirked. "What do we do now?"

"Wait." I shrugged. "Turn around and grab my shoe."

"Why would I do that?" He frowned. "What is your shoe going to do?"

"I keep a concealed blade in the bottom of my shoe. It will cut us loose." I watched him turn around and open his hand to the best of his ability. I placed my foot in his hand and he helped pull the shoe off my foot. "It's in the bottom sole." I turned around and worked the blade from the bottom of the shoe.

"Do I even wanna know why you have that?" He stared at me.

"I'm a paranoid person." I laughed. "I've played out kidnappings scenerios in my head over and over. I trained for this day E."

"Crazy ass." He rolled his eyes and I pressed the blade in his hand as the door swung open.

"You." The guy grabbed me and pulled me to my feet. "You're the one I want to play with first."

I stood there and closed my eyes as he ripped my shirt from my body. I didn't go over this in my head and I was hoping Esai was trying his hardest to free himself. The last thing I wanted to do was be taken forcefully against my will.

"Quite some ink you have." The guy ran his hands down my sides and his fingers hooked in the waistband of my pants. "You'll enjoy this as much as I do. I promise you that."

I shook my head from side to side and kept my eyes clamped shut and felt a smack to my face that stung badly. My eyes popped open I felt the tears start to fall as I looked at Esai and could tell he was trying his fastest to break free from the rope.

"I'm going to enjoy looking at all of this ink." The guy said as he pushed my pants down to my knees. "Look at that, more ink."

I closed my eyes and grimaced as I heard the grate of his zipper lowering. This was not an experience I was going to get out of my head. This was indeed going to be my worst living nightmare.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I lowered my gun as I saw all the blood in the house. The bodies still laying there told us the story. Esai had gotten some rounds off before getting taken. Happy had cleared the house twice. He found Dasha's phone by a cabinet and the records showed she had called him and Malia.

"At least she thought to call." Juice did his best to try to comfort me in the situation but it wasn't working. I was going out of my mind. My daughter was missing and she could be hurt, there was blood where Happy had found her phone. So all we knew they were alive but bleeding.

"Probably thought Dasha was Malia, which means these guys are not privy to higher up information." Jax frowned. "This is going to be okay. They took them alive for a reason. If they just wanted them dead then their bodies would be among this carnage."

"Yeah." I rubbed my head and looked at him. I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown and I wanted to avoid that happening right now. "Where would they take them?"

"Shit." Marcus came walking into the house. "I got Malia at a safehouse. She's hysterical. Esai's mom is trying to calm her down. This ain't good for her or our grandson."

"Grandson?" I asked. "I didn't know she was having a boy."

"Me either until my ex let it slip." He looked at the blood. "They're gone?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Both of them are missing. We think their blood is mixed in with the dead Chinese blood. They were here to just snatch them but your kid fired off some shots."

"Arright." He frowned. "I thought we handled that shit with yellow. Guess we had a bigger problem."

"Why your son though?" I looked at him.

"Because they couldn't find me." He shrugged. "My private life is very private Kozik."

"I know where you live." I smirked. "Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that shit out homie. Your son has my daughters in danger! I swear to fucking God if she comes home crazier than when she left I will take your son's left nut and jam it down your throat."

"Enough!" Happy yelled. "My lady is fucking gone. I don't like this shit but for fucks sake we need to get along right now. Someone reach out to Lin and let's get a goddamn sit down. Right fucking now!"

"I'll make the call." Marcus nodded and walked back out of the house.

"We need the prospects in here with Tig to clean this shit up." Jax looked around and shook his head. "Get them here now."

#

"Koz you stay back." Jax held a hand to my chest. "You're too emotional to be in there. The last thing I need is for you to toss out death threats."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm going in, if anything have Hap stay back outside. He's more likely to blow up. That's my kid held up somewhere but that's his old lady. He's just as wired up about this shit as I am. I know him! He's my best friend Jackson."

"Alright, both of you come inside. First outburst you're getting kicked out." He looked from me to Happy.

"Okay Prez, best behavior. I swear." Happy held his hands up. "I just have to get my lady back."

"I will kill everyone when we got her on our possession." I glared at Jax as we walked into the building. Alvarez was already standing there with his cronies as we joined them.

"Teller." Lin walked our way. "What brings you here with the Mayans?"

"You got something that belongs to us Lin." Jax rolled his shoulders back. "You have a daughter of a Son in your possession and well, we want her back. Just name your terms."

Lin laughed. "I have Esai Alvarez and his old lady. I don't have a Son's daughter Teller."

"I believe you do." Jax smirked. "She's gorgeous, blue colored hair, covered in tattoos. Lift her shirt up and she'll have Kozik going across her upper back. See that blonde guy right here? That's his kid. Yeah a Mayan and a Son's daughter are shacking up. Shocking but it's love. We want her back."

"I had no idea." Lin scoffed. "I'll call and confirm that it's her, if it is. We'll work out a price."

"Alright." Jax turned back to us. "We gotta scramble. Get them both back, see what they fucking want."

"When the fuck did Lin start kidnappinf innocents?" Juice looked at all of us. "I don't think he even knew until we showed up."

"Who even knows." Alvarez looked at Juice. "You know if he didn't know until we showed up, that would explain why he wondered why we were together."

"Rougue members." Happy nodded. "This is fucked up."

"Teller, Alvarez." Lin approached us. "I'm so sorry, it seemed some of my crew is made up of idiots. I didn't greenlight this shit. I will handle it accordingly and let your daughter and his son go."

"I gotta get out of here. I swear if she's hurt I will come after you." I hissed before pushing out of the door. I bent at my waste and gasped for air. My daughter was kidnapped for absolutely no fucking reason.

"We're getting her back." Happy smacked me on the back. "You and I will handle these guys brotha. I fucking promise you that. If a single strand of hair is hurt on her. I will fucking kill them all."

"I don't want to even fucking think about what could have happened all this time she's been gone. I just want her back." I pulled my hair. "This is fucked up to say but I'm glad Malia wasn't the one snatched. She wouldn't have been strong. She would have been a mess."

"That is fucked up. I wish it was just the kid. He could have handled it." Happy shook his head. "Now we just wait until they give her back."

"I am going crazy." I frowned and sat on my bike. I couldn't believe this shit. This was why I had kept my kids far away from my life. Nothing good ever came from the women and children being in the club. Now I was faced with a nightmare. Dasha was in the hands of an enemy and only she, Esai, and God could protect her now.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"I can't believe someone broke in the house and snatched them!" I looked at Fiasco and his friend Nero. "I can't believe this shit."

"Calm down." Fiasco held up his hands. "Makes no sense to rile yourself and the baby up."

"I know." I looked at him. "I'm trying to be calm. I really am. I just鈥 I am worried about them!"

"Sit down and breathe mama." Nero walked me to the sofa. "Marcus told me and Fiasco to take care of you."

"Alright." I sat down and accepted the bottle of water Fiasco was offering. "Thanks. I just had nothing like this happen before."

"That's good Malia." Nero smiled. "This shit shouldn't be something that happens to you all the time."

"Yeah okay." I nodded. "I'm just a nervous mess right now, I know it sounds fucked up but I'm glad I wasn't home."

"No, no." He hugged me. "You're going to be good. Your sister is strong right? What's her name again?"

"Dasha." I smiled. "She's strong but she's got a wonky brain. Bipolar."

"That's rough." He ran a hand over his goatee as Gemma cane strutting in. "Hey Gem."

"Hey." She set her purse down. "How you holding up Malia?"

"Shitty." I shrugged. "Nero and Fiasco are big helps."

"Good, good." She sat down. "You having a boy or what?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "You can tell?"

"Too big to be carrying a girl." She smirked. "I had two boys babygirl."

"Two?" I looked at her. "There was another Jax?"

She chuckled. "Thomas, he died from a heart defect."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I frowned. "Relieved that there isn't another Jax though. That's for sure."

"What's wrong with my Jax?" She looked at me.

"I think it'd be simpler to ask what isn't wrong." I shrugged. "You know he is hell bent on fucking Dasha?"

"How do you know?" Nero asked.

"Because I have eyes. You can see it in the way he looks at her, his eyes go dark, and he sort of hangs on every word she says." I sighed. "Dasha could tell him right now to divorce Tara and I'm pretty sure that he would. You said it yourself, she has power."

"Hmm." She pursed her lips together.

"Get the idea our of your head Gemma." Nero hugged her.

"What?" She looked at him. "I'm just letting her words sink in."

"I'm just gonna go play pool with Fiasco, alright?" I stood and left the couple on the couch as I walked over to the orange felted pool table. I had to do something to ease the horrid thoughts I was having out of my mind.


	47. Chapter 47 I'm So Sorry

Dasha POV

"Fuck." I groaned as I adjusted on the hard cold cement ground. "Esai!" I shook him awake and he smirked weakly at me.

"That blade came in handy." He tried to let out a chuckle but it came out as a rough cough.

"You good?" I looked at him.

"No. How are you holding up?" He looked at me. His hands were secured behind his back after his mini killing spree earlier. He had cut through the rope and sank the blade of the knife into my attacker's throat. Causing him to fall off me and bleed out. Then stabbed two more until the fourth guy had enough and spent a few hours beating me into a bloody mess.

"Shit." I wiped my tears. "I just spent hours being beaten. I feel disgusting and dead inside."

"I know, I had to watch. I'm fucking sorry I couldn't protect you Dasha. I'm so fucking sorry." He turned away as he cried and I moved closer to him and pulled him into a tight embrace. "I'm so damn sorry."

"Not your fault." I kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears. "You can't blame yourself for this fucked up situation. You did what you could Esai. Look at me."

"I am sorry. Malia is going to hate me for this. Same with your dad." He cried harder. "I'm fucking sorry."

"Listen to me, relax." I wiped his tears away and felt myself go into a mother hen mode. Something I usually reserve for Malia and Ellie. "You did what you could Esai! You killed three guy and took a two more bullets. You're being a wreck because you're losing so much blood Esai. I got you alright. Just stay calm."

He nodded and tried to give me a smile but it wavered and fell. "Shit." He sniffed. "You're in bad shape and I'm the emotional one."

"Believe me, this ordeal is going to be the fucking death of me. I'm not sure I'll be able to deal with the aftermath and the looks of pity." I started on the knots that held his hands secure. "This shit wasn't what I needed that's for damn sure Esai." I paused as my breath hitched in my throat. "This is a bad situation for us both. I'm just happy Malia didn't have to endure it. With her being pregnant and all."

He rubbed his wrists and stared at me before pulling me into a bear hug. "This is so fucked up." He looked at me. "Your shot hurt?" He poked at my shoulder and I groaned in pain.

"Yeah, now that you poked my gunshot wound Esai." I frowned and rubbed the spot. "I hope we don't get fucking infections and I need to really go to the doctor."

"Lucky day." The door swung open and the guy from earlier stepped in and Esai pushed me behind him. "Now you want to protect your little slut?"

Esai and I didn't bother to speak. We just blinked at him as he threw a shirt at me.

"You get to go home. Boss ordered. Lucky day. I really wanted a few more rounds with you sweetheart. Esai is one lucky man." He watched me as I pulled the shirt on before yanking me roughly up by my arm. Pain jolted through me and I almost collapsed to the ground. I looked at my legs and they were covered in blood.

"He's lost a lot of blood." I spoke meekly as the guy pulled Esai to his feet. He swayed back and forth before closing his eyes to steady himself. "You okay?" I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his.

"I will be when you're safe again." He squeezed my hand.

#

"Ow." I yelped when I felt a boot kick me in the side, sending me flying from the van and into the dirt. I felt Esai land next to me. "Fucking Chinese. Never eating their food again. I'm going to have flashbacks every fucking time I smell an egg roll."

I stood to my feet and stretched. With every minute move I made pain rushed through me. Sending me into bad memories all over again. I don't even know how long we were even gone. All I knew was that I was battered to all hell and needed medical attention. "You look like you're about to go into shock."

"Do I?" Esai was splayed out in the dirt and looking up at me through slits. He was breathing badly and sweating. The adrenaline was finally wearing off as his body was shutting down due to the lack of blood.

"Yeah." I dropped to my knees at his side and used the bottom of the shirt I was wearing to wipe his face down. "I'm not a doctor or professional but we need to get him to a doctor right now!"

"Your family is coming." The guy said and I looked up from Esai to see a black van and motorcycles speeding towards us.

"Just stay with me a few more minutes." I held Esai's hands. "I can't let you go. My sister is going to need you. Your kid is going to need you."

"I know." He smiled. "I'm staying with you D. I'm not going anywhere. I got shit to accomplish with that woman and my son."

"Good." I cried. "They're here, I see your dad with his fine ass."

He choked out a laugh.

"We're going home. You get to propose and raise your kid and I can sing or whatever it is I actually fucking do with my life." I sighed and looked up as Happy and my dad ran towards us at full speed. Their guns were drawn and shots fired. Causing me to shudder with fear as Tig picked me up and rushed to the van. Chibs was looking at me as I adjusted myself into a sitting position.

"Esai is dying. He needs help fast." I looked at Chibs. "Please help him. Malia cannot lose him."

"Aye." He nodded as Esai was placed into the van next to me. "Nearest hospital, right now!"

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

I frantically paced the waiting room of the hospital. Wringing out my hands as I waited on news of both Esai and Dasha. Esai was dying and Dasha was just as bad. She was covered in blood from what Marcus had told me when he picked me up and brought me here.

"I can't believe this shit." I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "This is so fucking bad. I can't believe she went through that!"

"Calm down. You getting upset isn't going to change shit." Happy growled at my causing my tears to flow faster.

"Don't be an asshole." I threw a magazine at him and he dodged it. If looks could kill I would had died right then and there.

"You don't think I'm a fucking wreck kid?" He stood up. "My lady was beaten and almost raped! You should be grateful that she called and warned you so you didn't walk into that shit."

I was taken aback. "I didn't think of it that way."

"Of course you didn't, you're too emotional to think right now. You don't even need to be here." He looked at me once more and stomped off down the hall leaving me alone with my dad who was just staring at the ceiling. He was still in too much shock to speak to anyone other than the doctors who updated him on what they were doing for Dasha.

"Sit down." He whispered. "Sit down and be calm about it the best you can. The guys are coming here any moment."

"For?" I looked at him.

"Support." He shrugged. "I should have never brought you guys into this life. I regret it. I really fucking regret it." He wiped his eyes as I saw the guys file our of every available elevator.

"How's she?" Gemma looked down at the both of us. "I want to talk to her, I know what she's going through. Been kidnapped and raped myself."

"She's still with the doctor. Taking her blood and looking at her trauma. There was a lot of blood. They were brutal with her Gem." My dad shook his head.

"I want to see her. She needs a mother figure right now." She sat between us and crossed her arms.

"Malia!" Ima and Winsome came padding over to me. Their normal slurry get up was replaced with outfits Dasha would wear. Jeans, band shirts, and scuffed up converse. "We're here for you." They hugged me.

"Alvarez." The nurse stepped forward and I stood up. "Follow me." I fell in behind Marcus and Esai's mom. My stomach twisting up as little Esai started to kick.

"He make it?" Marcus broke the silence and I was truly grateful for that.

"Yes." The nurse smiled as she halted outside of his room. "He lost a substantial amount of blood but he's good. We gave him transfusions. He will be kept here overnight for observation. That is a given. He's awake, so you can go right in and talk to him."

I walked in and Esai smiled. He wasn't as badly beaten as Dasha but it was still bad. It hurt my heart to see him laid up like that. "Babe." I sat next to him and kissed him. "I'm so happy you're alive and recovering."

"How is she?" He looked at me with a worried expression. "I just have to know if she's alright. She went through fucking torture."

"She's being seen by doctors." I nodded slowly. "I think she may be admitted to the psych ward just in case it's needed. You know?"

"I feel terrible." He looked around at all of us. "I tried my hardest to protect her and the guy just laid into her and I fought my hardest to kill him too! Do you know she has a fucking knife in the bottom of her shoe?"

"No." I shook my head. "I did not know she did that shit. But it's nor your fault. You couldn't help her, you did all that you could do. Don't blame yourself for the actions of those monsters."

"I don't want her to die or something. She said that ordeal would be the death of her Malia." He sighed. "Make sure she's okay alright?"

"I'll leave you alone and go check on her then. See if she can be seen. Then I'll come back and fill you in." I stood. "I love you Esai."

"I love you too Malia." He smiled.

#

"D." I walked into her room and found her on the hospital bed. Her eyes closed, her legs propped up on pillows as she cried. "Dasha." I touched her and jumped out of her skin.

"Hi." She looked at me. "Esai make it out alive?"

"Yeah he did." I smiled. "He wanted me to come check on you. He's worried that you're going to die, or kill yourself off Dasha."

"Nah." She waved me off. "None of that. I am being admitted to the psych ward just in case."

"Yeah?" I frowned.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes. "This is terrible."

"I'm sorry." I frowned.

"Stop. I'm tired of people apologizing and looking at me like I'm even more damaged than I was before." She glared at me. "I don't want pity and or whatever the fuck you all are trying to convey to me. I just want to get help to get past this bullshit."

"Understandable." I stood up and backed away from her. "I'll leave you alone then. I'll come back later and check in before I head home. I love you Dasha."

"I love you too Malia." She smiled.

I walked back into the waiting room and slumped to the ground by my dad and let myself sob. He sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

"You'll get through this, you're strong baby girl." He kissed my cheek. "I know you will get through this."

"I'm not worried about myself dad. I'm worried about Dasha. Did you see how detached she looked? How bad she sounded? God I don't want her to end everything over this shit. She has come so far to let this kill her." I shook my head and gasped for a much needed breath. "Dad protect her from herself. Alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I will protect her from herself."

I just looked at him and nodded. This wasn't what I had in plan. This was the last thing I ever thought would happen to my sister. This shit was killing me inside.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Dasha." I sat on the foot of her hospital bed and stared at her. "You look like you've been through it and then some babygirl."

"Yeah." She rubbed a spot on her forehead. "Seems like life really did Crash Into Me. I wasn't raped if that's what you were worried about. Just badly beaten."

"Esai let this shit happen?" I gestured towards all her wounds.

"No. Esai killed three guys protecting me from getting raped, took two additional bullets. The fourth guy, he beat me up." She closed her eyes. "Esai, he did everything he could to protect me dad."

"Alright." I smiled. "He's very concerned about you."

"I'm very concerned about him." She frowned. "Dad you know how Juice is a little bit emotional?"

"Yeah I do." I laughed. "He's a lot of emotional actually."

"Esai is like that." She laughed. "Like if I wouldn't have had my knife on me, I would have been raped and Esai would probably be dead. Why did they even snatch us anyways?"

"Low level thugs, did this behind their Boss's back." I rubbed my brow. "I was so scared when I found out you had gotten taken, that house had so much blood and it didn't look good for you at all."

"Tell me about to." She grabbed my hands. "Dad, you know it's okay for you to cry. I won't punk you, or shit like that. I love you so much dad, like more than I tell you."

"I know baby." I wiped my eyes. "I know, I just can't imagine losing you especially in that way.

"Nah, I'm staying around for awhile. I mean obviously God has bigger plans for me and shit." She smiled. "I think I need to get back in touch with my whole Catholic side."

"I don't think they'll let you in the cathedral looking like that." I smiled. "I have to head out, I just wanted to see you before I went. I'll be back in a few hours. Going to get revenge for this shit. Marcus is helping us."

"Be safe dad, if you come back and I'm not here, I'll probably be in the church or Esai's room." She hugged me. "Love you dad."

"Love you too." I kissed her nose. "Juice and Rat are outside your room. Yell if you need them."

"I got it." She waved me off. "Be safe Herman."

"Got it Dasha Nicole." I laughed as I felt the pillow hit the back of my head as I walked out. I was out to seek more revenge for Dasha, five dead Asians weren't enough. I needed at least a dozen more dead to even begin to get right with this shit.


	48. Chapter 48 We'll Get Through This

**As always, I appreciate the continued support you reviewers are giving my story. Means a lot that you've gone on this journey with me. Sad to say this is coming to an end in the next few days. **

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><p>Kozik POV<p>

"Dasha." I smiled at her as she walked out of the hospital. She had been there an extra three days on top of the original three the doctor wanted her to be there. "You ready to go home?"

"Whatever." She shrugged and just stared at me. She was there but she wasn't at the same time.

"Alright." I grabbed her bag and walked her to the car. The week had allowed us to work fast and put together Bawse. He was restored to his original glory, or as close as we could get it.

"Bawse." Dasha smiled and ran her hands over the hood. "Omg! He's gorgeous dad." She hugged me and smiled. "I didn't think it would ever happen. I even love the blue color!"

"It was Hap's idea." I opened the door. "Do you want to drive home?"

"No, I'm too groggy to drive." She got in to the passenger side. "Ugh, I missed my baby so much."

"I know." I smiled proudly. "I knew you would smile when you saw Bawse."

"I love you dad." She kissed my cheek. "Take me home so I can shower."

"Right away princess." I started it up and the engine roared. "Handles beautifully. I'll admit that much."

"Yeah he does." She turned the radio on low.

"You feel better?" I shot her a look and she nodded. "You like your new doctor?"

"Yeah." She said quietly. "I heard Dr. Linden got her license suspended pending investigation."

"Yeah, she came to the clubhouse and Gemma laid her ass out." I chuckled. "I don't want you to think I listened to her because I wanted to be an asshole. I took her advice because she knew you in a way I didn't know you. So I thought I could trust her advice was coming from a pure and caring place."

"I know but I'm still going through with the lawsuit." She smirked. "She shouldn't get involved with a patient's parent and divulge information she was sworn to protect. It breaks the law."

"I know." I nodded. "I don't blame you Dasha. I would probably sue her and my ass too. Maybe even sue Happy."

"Yeah." She chuckled. "I don't want to even talk about this shit anymore. I'm all over it. I just want to move forward with life and not dwell on shit."

"Alright baby girl." I kissed her head. "You know if you ever need hugs or a cry I'm here for you."

"Yeah I know." She poked me in my side. "I know, I just, I don't really feel comfortable talking to a man about what happened to me you know?"

"Got it." I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. "Shower and sleep. I think Happy might be asleep in your bed still."

"Okay." She got out and walked ahead of me into the house. "Kept it clean I see."

"I had the prospects clean up. I'll be honest I'm a messier person than you are D." I set her bag down on the counter and watched her walk down the hall and disappear into her room.

#

"How's she?" Tig asked as he joined me at the bar. "She love the car?"

"Yeah, she went from sad to happy as soon as she laid eyes on the car." I grabbed a beer. "She's home sleeping, Hap is there with her. I came to grab the rest of my shit from the room. I won't be using it anymore."

"Really moving into suburbia?" He snickered and rolled his eyes. "Send my well wishes to her."

"I will." I took a sip of my beer and Opie sat down next to me next.

"My kids want to know if she's doing better? They know she was in the hospital just not what for." He sighed. "She's getting better right?"

"Yeah. She's getting better." I shrugged. "You can always take Ellie over there, just warn her about her face and shit."

"I might do that. I don't want her to bother Dasha or anything." He frowned.

"I'm sure if you call or text first she'd be more than happy to have Ellie over for a visit." I smiled and stood. "I have to grab my shit and head out."

"Alright brother." He stood and hugged me. "Send her my well wishes."

"I will." I nodded and walked off narrowly missing running into Gemma. "Hey Gem."

"Hey baby. She home?" Her voice was soft and motherly as she looked at me.

"Yeah. Sleeping, left Hap there. Just grabbing the rest of my shit to go back home." I smiled. "I can't thank you enough for being there for Dasha the way you were that day."

"She's family." She smiled. "I always wanted a daughter, she's my daughter even if she doesn't marry Jax."

"Yeah." I laughed. "I don't see how that would have worked out really well. It would have backfired for sure."

"A mom can dream. Let Dasha know, if she needs to talk to me, I'm just a phone call away." She hugged me and walked off.

I walked past the bathroom and heard the sounds of someone throwing up. I frowned and leaned against the wall and waited for the person to come out, to make sure they were okay. The toilet flushed, the sink turned on before turning back off. The door opened and Lyla stepped out and looked at me before trying to take off.

"You better not be pregnant with Happy's kid." I whispered as I gripped her elbow. "If you are, you better fucking take care of that shit."

She nodded and I let go of her and she rushed off. Her head hanging in shame. I opened my door and gathered my shit quickly in a box. I was no longer just a bachelor. I had to go home and try my best to protect and care for Dasha.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

"Happy." I looked at him from my spot on the grass. I looked around for the crow and he was nowhere to be seen. That made me said. It was only three months ago that I had a puppy, crow and boyfriend to sit outside with. Now I was just down to a boyfriend.

"Yeah babe?" He turned his hat backwards and looked at me. "You need me to grab you food?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not hungry. You still love me right?"

"Yeah, I do. I always fucking will." He smiled before it turned into his signature scowl. "Why are you asking that Dasha?"

"Just with all the shit we've been going through, I thought you may love me a little leas than before..." I sighed and pulled at the grass that tickled my legs.

"Don't think that way." He walked over and sat down next to me. "I'm in love with you. That shit ain't changing Dasha, ever."

"I just feel so broken. I really can't handle the thoughts and the feelings. I feel so broken and helpless. Like Happy I can't deal." I started crying and he pulled me close. It was the first contact I had without tensing up.

"I'm here for you babe." He rocked us side to side. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but I'm here if you need to talk to me about it."

"It's not that, I mean. I can talk about it, it'll make both of us mad." I frowned. "Esai showed me an engagement ring that day, like moments before we were happy and smiling about how he was going to propose to Malia. Omg, you should have seen the huge ass smile he was wearing. The next minute it was just noise and he told me to grab a gun and hide."

"In the cabinet." He nodded. "I found blood and your phone in it."

"Yeah, then he was like be smart, don't be a hero. If you hear shots save yourself, Malia is going to need you if in gone." I wiped my eyes. "I called you and then Malia. God, I couldn't let her get there. I didn't care if I was going to die in that moment, I just didn't want her walking into a trap and dying. I thought I was dead for sure Hap. It was horrible, I thought Esai was dead."

I studied my tattoos for awhile and Happy just rubbed his hands in circles on my back.

"Then I came too in some room, tied up next to Esai. We managed to get my hidden knife from my shoe." I shook my head. "I fucked up and let Esai keep the knife when I was pulled up to my feet. I should have fucking kept it. God Hap, it was horrible. Esai got free though, stabbed the guy in the neck and he toppled from on top of me. He killed two more guys before the fourth came in and put two bullets in Esai. Not fatal but it was still so fucked up. Then the guy just stripped me and beat me. He didn't let up and when I woke up I was under some blanket and Esai was barely alive鈥 t was terrible." I lifted my shirt and showed him the various cuts on my stomach and back.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He rubbed his head and pulled me tighter against him. "Fuck, babe."

"I know." I hung my head down. "I don't know how to live with this Happy. I really don't know how to. I'm so afraid to sleep, I don't want the images to creep back. I don't fucking want them in my head. I want them gone."

"I know Dasha, but I'll be around for you at night. I don't plan on letting anything else happen to you. I know it won't stop the dreams but I'll be around to hold you if you wake up screaming. You hear me?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "I hear you Hap. I really do."

"You know Gem is throwing your sister a baby shower tomorrow? You have to go, even if it's for five minutes." He stood up.

"I'll be there." I stood up. "I mean, I will probably be uncomfortable because I look and feel like complete crap."

"They all love and check in on you Dasha. They were there when we got you." He smiled. "They'll be accepting of your injuries. They weren't your fault."

"I know." I shrugged. "I want to be like in the background the whole time. I swear I want that."

#

"Shit!" I yelled as I smacked my toe against the coffee table. "Fuck my life!"

"Calm down." My dad looked at me from the sofa.

"Do you always have to drink?" I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Try being sober."

"I'm going to let that attitude slide." He rolled his eyes. "You know, it's how I cope with my feelings."

"I cope by writing." I looked at him. "I almost am finished with Crash Into Me."

"Really?" He set his bottle down.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm dedicating it to you, malia, Esai, Juice, and my baby Happy."

"I cannot wait to read it." He smiled.

"I am going to shop it around to publishers soon. I'm excited about it dad. I want to be a New York Time's best seller." I sat down on the sofa. "I'm thinking you're going to love it. I can see it now book tours and signing!"

"You're pretty optimistic than you were yesterday." He smiled.

"Yeah, I saw my psychiatrist earlier. It was good. She said not to blame myself for what happened and not to let anyone else blame me. None of it was my fault and I can either let it kill me or work through it and learn how to live with it as part of my past. So I'm going to learn to live with it. I can't die or whatever. Malia and you need me." I smiled.

"I need you." Happy rasped as he appeared in the archway.

"You're an integral part of this dysfunctional family we have in Charming." My dad smiled.

"Duh, I'm the princess." I smirked. "If you two men don't mind, I need to take a shower because I was in the grass earlier and now I'm itchy, itchy."

"Shower." Happy waved me down the hall. As soon as I got into the bathroom and turned the shower on, I let myself start to cry. Faking the happiness and optimism was going to be difficult but I was determined to keep it together.

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"I'm so ready to push this kid out." I rubbed my belly and groaned. "This is uncomfortable."

"I'm uncomfortable." He gestured to his leg and arms. "We're just torn the fuck up ruca."

"I know." I frowned. "I can't even imagine what the fuck Dasha is dealing with. What happened to her is so brutal and it wasn't necessary at all."

"I know it was brutal I was there." He closed his eyes. "I see that image in my head over and over. I feel so guilty that I couldn't keep her safe after I killed the first three guys..."

"It's okay鈥 ou ever think about seeing a therapist?" I looked at him.

"I looked into it." He nodded. "I want to see one. I think it could help...I need all the help I can get to cope with this shit."

"Yeah." I nodded. "I need some water, you want anything babe?"

"A beer if we have any." He smiled.

"Coming right up mister." I wobbled to the fridge and pulled the door open. I grabbed a beer and a water. "You'll get through this Esai, I know you will. We all will. I promise you that."


	49. Chapter 49 Fire!

**_Oh my loves, we are going to jump right in this chapter with some much needed drama between two certain couples. Enjoy it!_**

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><p><strong>Malia POV<strong>

"Baby shower." I stood in little Esai's nursery and rolled my eyes as big Esai looked at me from the door way. "You have to come, your mom is going to be there."

"It's a girl thing." He rasped. "I don't want to go babe."

"The SAMCRO guys will be there." I smiled. "You get along with my dad and Hap. Fiasco and Nero will be around the clubhouse as well."

"Arright." He smiled. "I'll go, but just for you Malia." He hugged me. "For you and our son. My life."

"Love you." I kissed his nose. "So much Esai."

"I love you more." He smirked. "You're gorgeous. All glowing and shit."

"I know." I shook my head. "Thanks, I feel bloated and awkward."

"You're gorgeous and pregnant. Look at that bump." He rubbed it. "It'll be over in a couple months."

"Yeah, I'm almost eight months." I nodded. "Less than two months to go before we get to hold him and love on him."

"I can't wait to teach him how to shoot a gun." He smirked. "It's going to be fucking amazing."

"Oh man." I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to hide the clips from all of your guns. I really will babe."

"It won't be until he's older and can comprehend how the gun works." He smirked. "I won't put our kid in any danger babe."

"I'm craving a cupcake." I walked out of the room and towards the kitchen.

"I'll get it for you, whip cream on it too?" He smiled as he pulled open the fridge door and I took a seat.

"Yes!" I yelled. "Please!"

"One chocolate cupcake coming right up for my lovely ruca." I heard him squirt the whip cream. "I gotta ask you a question."

"What?" I looked at him and he set the cupcake down in front of me.

"Malia, will you be my lady forever?" He smiled. "My hyna, my ruca, my linda mujer? My wife?"

"Yes!" I jumped up and hugged him. "Omg! Esai!"

"Babe!" He laughed. He held the cupcake up to my face. "The ring."

"Duh." I smacked my head softly. "It's gorgeous babe!" I plucked it off the mountain of whipped cream and admired the dazzle of the white and yellow diamonds.

"I can't wait to tell Dasha you said yes." He smiled. "I asked for her blessing that day she came over, she gave it to me. I also asked your dad for his. They both gave me their blessings to pop the question."

"I'm happy. I'm going to cry!" I licked the cream off of the ring and slipped it on my finger. "Snug but it'll work."

"Won't have sausage fingers forever." He looked at my hand. "Wife and mother are good looks for you."

"I cannot wait to show it off!" I hugged him and jumped up and down. "I love you baby."

"I love you too." He rubbed my stomach and smiled.

#

"Guys!" I rushed over to Ima, Winsome, Ellie and Dasha. "Look!" I thrusted my hand in front of their faces.

"Omg!" Dasha popped up and wrapped her arms around me. "I can't believe it! I'm excited for this!"

"I'm jealous bitch." Ima examined the ring. "Lucky woman. I guess I should have been a Mayans hang around."

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Congratulations." Winsome hugged me. "Gorgeous ring, gorgeous husband too."

"Thank you." I smiled at her.

"Can I be in your wedding?" Ellie asked quietly.

"Of course, you're practically our little sister. Right D?" I smiled at Ellie.

"Hell yeah, Dasha, Malia, and Ellie." Dasha nodded. "Then Ima and Winnie are our gorgeous older sisters who guide us through life. Winnie has helped me work through issues, Ima has too. Ellie is pushing me to work on music and you're here to listen to me cry like an idiot."

"Love fest." I pulled them all into a group hug. "I love you guys."

"We love you too." Winsome nodded. "I hope you like what I got the baby!"

"I will." I smiled and let them walk me into the clubhouse.

"Malia!" Gemma stole me away. "You look pregnant."

"Thanks." I smiled. "Esai proposed!"

"That's good baby." She hugged me. "You're making a honest man out of that boy."

"Thanks so much for this Gem. It means the world to me." I sat down with her. "It's like you're my mom or something."

"I'm everyone's mom." She scoffed. "Comes with the territory."

"Thanks for being there for my sister too. I know she appreciated it." I smiled. "I mean, she's doing okay but we know she's mostly being strong for everyone else's benefit."

"That's an old lady trait." She frowned. "She'll take care of herself in private. You're not the only one who got diamonds baby, you see the necklace Happy gave her?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'll see it when she comes in."

"Alright." She stood. "Eat and mingle sweetheart. This party is for you! Don't just hide in the corner."

"I won't." I stood and walked over to the food table.

"Malia." Juice hugged me. "You are very pregnant looking."

"I feel that way." I laughed. "You look good Juice. You been working out or something?"

He flexed and chuckled. "Yeah, I have been working out. I heard you're engaged, I just want to say congratulations and if you need a DJ, I'm your guy."

"Oh DJ Juicy Juice?" I smirked and grabbed a plate and started to pile pasta on it. "I'm definitely hiring you to be the DJ. Bobby can sing an Elvis song or two and of course Dasha will close it out."

"Perfect. You can have it here." He gave a big goofy grin.

"Never!" I rolled my eyes. "I want a real venue, like a beautiful garden! A huge garden or a sunflower field."

"That's so girly." He laughed.

"That's what weddings are." I filled a cup with pink lemonade. "Super girly and white and frilly. Everything Dasha isn't in life."

"Dasha is weird like that." He laughed.

"She's going to have to wear a girly dress! I cannot wait." I sat down at the plastic table. "Normal hair color and everything."

"No!" Dasha sat down. "Normal?"

"Yes, just for my wedding day." I kissed her cheek. "It's an absolute must."

"Anything for you little sister." She nodded. "Can I have a sip? Pink lemonade is my third favorite of the lemonade variety."

"You can take it. I'll get another cup." I handed it to her. "I want to play games and open presents."

"You're going to die when you see what I got the baby." She stood up. "It's practical."

"I'm excited." I smiled as she sauntered off. This was turning out to be quite a fun party.

SOASOASOA

Dasha POV

I was laying in bed with Happy at the clubhouse. Half way through the party I felt woozy and needed a nap. So he brought me to his room and refused to leave me alone. A knock sounded on the door and I pretended to stay asleep as Happy pulled open the door.

"Can we talk?" I heard Lyla ask him.

"Sure." He rasped. "I don't know what you gotta fucking say to me though." The door closed and I got out of bed and pressed my ear to the door.

"I wouldn't have bothered you but this is really important Hap." Lyla said.

"Spit it out." He growled. "Dasha is sleeping, I don't want her waking up and finding me gone."

"I'm pregnant Hap." She finally spit it out. "I can't get an abortion, I'm too far along for that."

"Are you fucking sure?" He barked out. "Are you sure the baby is mine?"

"Yes." She cried. "I'm too far along for him to be the father."

"Fuck!" Happy hit the door and I scooted away from it and stepped into the small bathroom. My head was spinning. This really couldn't be happening right now. There was no way this was reality. We had just got back together a month ago. I had been attacked and I was just now comfortable with him cuddling me in an intimate way. That bitch couldn't be pregnant.

"Shit." I closed the toilet lid and sat down on it. I grabbed Happy's razor off the sink and rolled it around in my hands as I fought the urge to storm out of the room and kill Lyla and the baby. First the croweater and now Lyla. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Dasha." Happy knocked on the door. "You good?"

"Yeah." I answered back. "I just felt like I was going to be sick."

"Okay." He said. "You going to open the door? I need to tell you something important Dasha."

"No." I said calmly. "I already heard the entire conversation. I'm a light sleeper Happy."

"Jesus." He popped open the lock of the door and let himself in. "Dasha, your hands are bleeding." He grabbed the razor from me.

"Shit." I looked at my palms. "I didn't even feel that at all."

"Babe." He dropped to his knees as he looked at my hands. "I didn't mean for any of this shit to happen. You have to believe me when I say that shit."

"I do." I pulled my hands away from him and closed them. "I don't know what to say here Happy. You're going to be a fucking dad. You won't be able to deny it because you're tan and that kid is probably going to be tan."

"Relax." He rubbed my cheeks. "Breathe and relax."

"I can't relax! You're going to be a dad! Do you know what that even means? This is like the croweater shit all over again except this time it's actually your fucking kid." I stood up and walked around him. "I can't live with that Hap. I can't."

"What's different this time?" He grabbed me. "You forgave me that first time."

"This baby, this fucking little bout of poor judgment you two made is going to rip this club apart. You're having a kid with a brother's old lady." I shook my head. "You're going to deal with this Happy."

"She said she's too far to get rid of it." He frowned. "Dasha, just don't fucking give up on me yet."

"Happy." I stared up at him. "You know she's going to need you and your help when she gets the boot from Opie. She already has one fatherless child."

"What are you trying to tell me?" I rubbed his tumbs over my cheek to rid them of tears.

"You can't be a deadbeat dad. That's what the fuck I'm telling you. You know what it's like to not have a dad. I know what its like. He may have popped in and out but he wasn't really a staple in my life." I sighed. "I'm fucking pissed off about this Happy. I really fucking am. I think we need to put some space between us and you handle what you need to handle."

"Dasha." He pulled me into a hug. "I can't give you space. I just fucking can't. I need you by my side babe."

"Happy." I spoke slowly and sternly. "I love you but I don't need this on top of everything else I've been going through recently."

"I can't let you end shit." He said. "Refuse to lose you again."

"I'm hurting here Happy." I rubbed my eyes. "I'm hurting so badly, I wish I wouldn't have heard it. I feel so mad."

"I know." He hugged me. "I don't know how to fucking fix this shit. I wish I knew how to baby. I really fucking did."

I slapped him. "You should have wrapped your shit up Happy! You should have fucking kept it in your pants asshole."

"I know." He held my wrists. "I'm so fucking sorry. She said she was on the fucking pill. I took her word. I know I shouldn't have."

"I can't breathe." I yanked free of him and stumbled out of the room and dropped to my knees in the hallway.

"Dasha, relax." Happy said.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I hissed at him. "I don't want to see you anymore right now! Get the fuck away from me!"

"What's going on?" Opie came rushing over. "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing." Happy backed away.

"He fucked me over again." I looked at Happy then to Opie. "Why don't you tell him what you did Hap?"

"This isn't the time." Happy said through gritted teeth. "There's a party going on Dasha."

"And!" I swallowed a few gulps of air. "Tell him or I will."

"What's wrong?" Lyla came teetering into the hallway and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Hap is getting ready to tell Opie the good news." I looked at her and her face fell.

"What news man?" Opie looked at Happy.

"He's going to he a dad." I looked at him. "Happy is going to be a dad."

"Oh man, that's great. Congratulations Dasha." He helped me to my feet.

"I'm not pregnant." I shrugged. "Lyla is having Happy's kid. Didn't she tell you that she fucked your brother while you were gone and I was in LA? Well now that's all in the fucking open." I ripped the chain from my neck and tossed it at Happy. "I'm done with your shit Happy."

"Dasha!" He chased after me as I made it to the open space of the clubhouse. "Don't do this shit."

"Fuck you Happy!" I pushed him backwards into Tig. "Fuck you and fuck that slutty ass whore Lyla!"

"You fucked my wife?" Opie came at Happy and punched him a single time and Happy made no move to guard his face. "You fucked my wife and now she's having your fucking kid?"

"Ope!" Lyla grabbed his arm. "Stop this right now! It's not his fault." Opie pulled his arm away and Lyla fell to the floor. It was full out hell.

"Fuck this place!" I stormed out of the clubhouse and towards the line of bikes as Malia and Esai came rushing towards me.

"What was that shit?" Malia grabbed me.

"If it wasn't bad already, Lyla is pregnant with his kid." I wiped at my eyes. "Can you help me move his bike out Esai?"

"Dasha what're you going to do?" Esai looked at me. "You can't ruin his bike. That's his livelihood."

"I don't give a fuck anymore!" I yelled. "Help me move it out, or I'll do this and all the bikes will catch fire."

He pulled the bike forward and I pulled my lighter from my pocket and rushed to my car to grab any flammable fluid I could find. I doused the bike and lit it on fire and in a matter of moments the bike was fully engulfed in flames. I walked to my car and sped off, only looking back to see Malia's car speeding behind me.

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Guys!" Juice yelled. "I think Dasha may have set Hap's bike on fire!"

"What?" I looked at the security monitor and there was a raging fire. "Shit! Prospects grab the extinguishers and put it out!"

"Bitch." Happy spit out blood as we stood and watched the fire be put out. "I can't believe she fucking did that shit!"

"I can." I grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him against the tow truck. "You did today what Lee's fucking daughter did in Tacoma asshole. You fucking broke her and her heart because you were too stupid to just not have sex."

"You don't think I know this shit Kozik." He pushed me backwards. "I fucked up! Big fucking time, I just chased the only woman other than my mom I loved out of my life over sex. I fucked Lyla and now she's knocked up and there's not a goddamn thing I can do about that shit!"

"I could fucking kill you right now. I fucking swear." I shoved him backwards. "But I know whatever shit Dasha is about to put you through will be a hundred times worse than death. You're lucky she didn't set you on fire Lowman!"

"You can fucking have Lyla." Opie put Happy on his ass. "You and her are both fucking dead to me. Come by and get her shit, it'll be on the front lawn. I knew I shouldn't have married a slutty porn star."

"Opie!" Lyla came out crying followed by a very pissed off looking Gemma, Ima, and Winsome.

"I don't want to talk to you!" Opie turned around and looked at her. "Prison clause or not you shouldn't have fucked Happy! You can get pregnant by him but with me you don't even want a kid."

"It was an accident!" She shrieked. "I slept with him mostly to piss off Dasha!"

"That's so fucked up." Ima slapped Lyla. "How dare you do that to my best friend!? You're supposed to be the nice girl. Tara is the bitch, remember when she hated you but Dasha comes to town and you two fucking gang up on her and you fuck her man and get knocked up."

"You fucked Jax and Opie." Lyla whined as she held her face.

"I was a goddamn croweater! That's what I did sweetheart! You're an old lady, you're supposed to set a damn example." Ima slapped her again. "You're lucky you're pregnant otherwise this would be a brawl."

"You can calm down." I grabbed Ima.

"No!" She shrugged me off. "Dasha is like a little sister to me Kozik. She's the best thing that has literally happened to me in my life and it breaks my heart to see her heart broken. She taught me how to be a better woman. I owe it to her to tell people off when she's she's not around."

"Alright." I nodded and smiled to myself.

"Happy, I'm disappointed in you." Ima poked him in the chest. "You know how many guys Dasha turned down for you? Too many. You aren't even fuckin' worth the pain you're putting her through."

"Who even knew the girl could use her mouth for something other than blow jobs." Gemma scoffed as Ima and Winsome drove off. "You three get the fuck out of here. You ruined the shower and Dasha."

"I'm going to go see Dasha." I rolled my eyes. "I'll keep you updated Gemma."

#

"She's asleep." Esai said when I walked into the house. "Malia gave her some sleeping pills and it knocked her right out."

"Alright." I shrugged out of my cut. "I think sleep is good for her."

"SAMCRO always that dramatic?" He chuckled.

"Only during special parties." I shook my head.

"Ah, figures." He sipped his soda. "You beat Happy's ass?"

"After Opie did." I frowned. "Shit was hard to watch."

"Seeing her torch the bike was hard to watch." He shuddered. "She's a pro at starting a fire."

"Gets it from her mother." I sighed. "I'm going to lay down, make yourself at home and congratulations on the engagement. I saw the ring."

"Thanks man." He shook my hand.

Just what we needed, Dasha on a anger feuled rampage. I was really starting to wish I would have left the two back in Texas.


	50. Chapter 50 Without A Soul

**Dasha POV**

"I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this way. I feel completely numb and broken. I feel like I'm void of any real natural emotion. I feel like I'm not even alive. I'm breathing, my hearts beating but I'm not alive." I frowned at my reflection in the full length mirror standing in the corner of my room. "I'm not alive."

"Dasha." My dad poked his head into my room. An action that had started to annoy me the last couple of days. "Who are you talking to?"

"My reflection." I looked at him and shrugged. "Not the voice dad, relax, I'm just going through the emotions of being heartbroken and royally fucked up from some Asian guys almost raping me and practically seeing my future brother almost die."

"You have a way with words my child." He walked in and sat on the bed. "You know this feeling is temporary right? It won't last forever. I promise you that Dasha. I really do."

"I am not alive." I looked at him. "I feel like my soul has left me."

"I feel like you're being a tad dramatic, you been singing those songs a little too often Dasha." He blinked at me in the mirror.

"I mean, I just don't feel alive. Everything I had to offer is essentially gone." I dropped to my knees. "I mean what else do I have left besides the obvious writing skills. I have no heart left to love with."

"I think you'll come out of this situation a stronger woman. I can actually guarantee that you will Dasha." He smiled. "You haven't given up yet and I fucking doubt you will. If that kidnapping didn't break you a guy can't break you. I know you were in love, still are in love but it's not the end of the world. You can focus on yourself, take this pain, disappointment, and lessons and put them in your book."

"Life definitely found a way to Crash Into Me. It is like a fucking fifty car pile up." I smirked. "I will work it out, that's for sure."

"Just don't give up kid." He stood and kissed the top of my head. "Love you Dasha Nicole."

I laughed. "There you go again with that goddamn Nicole shit again. Herman Melville!"

"So wrong!" He pulled the door shut and I sat back on my ass and continued to look at myself. My hair was fading from blue back to blond and the brown roots were creeping back in. My eyes were dull and tires looking. I had managed to age a decade in a month.

The door opened and Juice stepped in holding a wrapped gift. "I come baring gifts."

"I see that." I smiled and stood up. "What's the occasion?"

"Your birthday is in two days. I wanted to be early." He handed me the blue wrapped box. "So happy birthday and I hope you love it."

I tore through the paper and let it pool at our feet. "Omg! Juice!" I pulled the gorgeous leather journal put of the box and examined it closer. "Did you make this?"

"Yeah." He said coyly. "I didn't see one in the store that would fit you anymore. I even wrote a paragraph in it."

"I love it!" I set it on the bed and hugged him. "I'm going to use it to write my next novel."

"Finished the Crash one?" He smiled and pushed my hair out of my face.

"Almost, just need to add a chapter or two but it's pretty solid, then I'll have it edited and shop it around." I smiled. "I'm in love with this journal. Most thoughtful gift ever."

"I'm happy that you love it." He flipped the journal over. "You're never far away from the reaper."

"Great." I smiled. "It's now with me forever. Sometimes I believe I would have been better off if I stayed in Texas. Malia of course lands the perfect life and I get the fucked up life. Like I wasn't already fucked up already!"

Juice shut me up with a kiss. It was slow at first then became rushed and needy. His hands worked their way through my hair and I moved closer to him. The kiss wasn't anything like the ones I shared with Happy, they were hungry. "Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No." I rubbed my fingers over my lips. "It's okay. I liked it a lot actually."

"Really? I kind of wanted that since the clubhouse lap dances." He chuckled and rubbed his head.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I don't know if it'll happen again but I wouldn't be opposed to it."

"Good to know. I have to get back to the clubhouse. Happy tore through it like a tornado." He stood up. "I'll see you later pretty girl."

"Yeah, bye Juice." I waved and watched him leave before scotting back on my bed and reading the paragraph Juice had written.

#

"You look like shit." Winsome said as she rubbed face cream on my face. "You been sleeping?"

"Not really." I sighed. "I kissed Juice earlier today."

"Dish!" She stopped rubbing the cream into my face.

"He gave me an early birthday gift. Then I kept talking and he just kissed me to shut me up." I smirked. "It was pretty amazing."

"I knew it!" She laughed. "I knew in my heart that he would be an amazing kisser!"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I thought I'd regret kissing anyone other than Happy but I really don't."

"Why would you?" She blinked at me. "You're a free bitch baby."

"Okay gaga." I rolled my eyes and sat up. "This cream works?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "I have to fess up to sleeping with Jax again."

"Oh my God." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I can't believe you keep continue to touch that man. He's handsome but he's scum for cheating on Tara time and time again."

"But he's so amazing in bed." She fell back on to my bed. "I mean, amazing."

"I don't wanna hear about it any more Winnie." I laughed. "You and Ima can pass around the Prince."

**SOASOASOA**

**Happy POV**

"Ma." I stepped into the kitchen and found her fixing coffee. "How are you today?"

"Good, sit." She pointed to the table. "What's wrong Hap?"

"What's not wrong?" I shook my head and frowned. "I'm going to be a dad."

She dropped her cup into the sink and whipped around to stare at me. "That's great! Dasha keeping the baby even though she was dead set against having kids?"

"It's not Dasha who is pregnant." I rubbed my face. "I slept with this chick when Dasha and I were broken up and now she's pregnant. She doesn't want to get rid of it so I'm stepping up."

"How does Dasha feel about it?" She grabbed my hands and ran her thumbs over my fingers.

"She broke up with me, set my bike on fire. I had to drive here in an actual car." I closed my eyes. "Ma, I don't want to lose that woman, she means so much to me. I just fucked up so bad on this shit that she won't even give me the time of day to try and fix things."

"Give her time! The love of her life is having a baby by a woman that isn't her. Give her the space and time. If it's true love you two will end up together. I promise you that." She patted my head. "Next time think with the damn head on your shoulders and not the one in your pants! I don't remember raising you to be this was Happy! I do want to meet this loose moral young woman, need to know who will be raising my grandchild Hap."

"Alright." I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to let Dasha go though. I'm hurting even more than I was the last time."

"You have no choice in the matter Hap, she's broken things off and now you have to sit back and watch her live her life and discover new things." She handed me a cup of coffee.

"I know, her birthday is in two days and I think I want to give her the necklace back even though she threw it back in my face." I sipped the coffee. "I don't know if she'll accept it or whatever."

"Got to try." She sat back down. "You know I love you son but I swear you lose all commonsense when you drink or try to run from your feelings. See the wreckage you've caused? You may have to work years to clean it all up."

"I'm willing to work at it." I nodded. "I can't just give up on her. Love her too much for that shit."

#

"Dasha." I knocked on her bedroom window which once again wasn't locked or closed and she stared at me.

"What?" She hissed. "What do you want Hap? Go to the front door not the window Jesus."

I closed her window and walked around to the front and she was standing there waiting for me. "I didn't think you would even talk to me."

"I mean, I am having mood swings and I happen to be tolerant of you and your bullshit." She slammed the door behind us. "So why are you even here?"

"It's your birthday." I handed her the box. "I know you tossed it at me but I want you to fucking keep it. I bought it for you, do whatever with it, sell it if you have to Dasha, just fucking keep it. Alright?"

"Fine." She set the box on her bookshelf and crossed her arms. "Sorry I set your bike on fire. I mean, I'm not actually sorry but I want to apologize anyways."

"You should be sorry, I'm driving around in a fucking cage." I glared at down at her. Fighting every urge to pull her into a hug and kiss her.

"Well you should be having a kid with another woman and your precious little Dyna wouldn't be extra crispy!" She yelled and shoved me backwards.

There it was, her mood swings she always had back in Tacoma. "Don't touch me Dasha."

She shoved me again. "Oh, fuck you Happy! I hope Lyla makes the next 18 years of your life fucking miserable!"

"Calm the fuck down." I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "You're going to send your ass into the hospital little girl."

"Don't call me that. You have know right to call me that anymore. Just leave please." She side stepped around me and opened the door. "Now!"

"Alright." I held up my hands and walked out of the door. I paused as she slammed it and locked it.

**SOASOASOA**

**Malia POV**

"Oh shit." I looked at the clock and it flashed 9 PM. "I fucking forgot about Dasha's birthday! I didn't even get her anything."

"That's fucked up." Juice looked at me from the poker table. "I gave her a present two days ago."

"Call her." Esai smiled. "Tell her you'll see her tomorrow and that the baby made you sleep all damn day."

"Good." I pulled out my phone and it rang before connecting.

"Yeah?" Dasha's voice filled the room.

"Happy Birthday!" I yelled.

"Thanks. Where's my cake and presents Malia?" She sounded cold and bitter. "I don't see you even in Charming."

"I slept all day, I'll be by tomorrow Dasha. I promise." I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Whatever. I really don't give a fuck if you stop by or not Malia." She blew into the phone. "We done with this call?"

"What's wrong with you?" I barked into the phone. "I'm trying to wish you a happy birthday Dasha and you're pissed off at me!"

"Yeah because my dumbass sister couldn't be bothered to simply send fucking text when she woke up but instead can post to IG!" She yelled. "Go fuck yourself Malia! I'm done with your shit!"

The call ended and I sat there looking at Esai and Juice who's mouths were hanging open. "Someone is mood swinging hard today."

#

"Dad!" I yelled as I set the cake on the counter.

"He's not here." Dasha stared at me from the sofa. "What are you even doing here?"

"I brought you cake and a present." I lifted the cake. "It's vanilla with real icing not that whipped shit."

"Whatever." She shrugged. "My birthday is over you missed it. Even Happy remembered it then I got angry and sent him away."

"I'm sorry." I grabbed two forks and sat down next to her and opened the cake. "It really got away from me. I usually am very good with remembering."

"Yeah." She ate a bite of cake. "I forgive you. I've been having angry bouts like crazy."

"I can tell. You talking to anyone about it?" I scraped frosting onto my spoon.

"Yeah I upped my appointments to twice a week." She shrugged. "I just don't want to go back into the hospital."

"I get it." I nodded. "I don't want you back there either."

"This cake, it's pretty good." Dasha dropped the spoon into the box. "I don't know where you got it, but if I ever get hitched, I'm definitely having this cake at my wedding."

I laughed. "Esai's mom made it. She owns a bakery, has the best fucking cupcakes I've ever tasted. The chocolate ones, I can't get enough of them. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or not, but I fucking love them.I can literally put away a dozen of them myself."

Her mouth hung open in shock. "No wonder why you're so fucking huge! You've been shoving cupcakes in your mouth. I wish you would have thought to bring me some cupcakes too. Lord knows I can stand to put on some weight. One day, I'll have womanly curves, not just hips and ass."

"Oh shut your mouth." I rolled my eyes. "You're fucking perfect Dasha, in every way. Well..."

"Yeah, I know. I have a fucked up brain. When you having this kid anyways. You're expanded to capacity." She rubbed my stomach.

"Two months and I'll be bringing home little Esai. I can't wait to see who he takes after. I want him to be a chunky Esai." I rubbed my stomach along with her. "I just cannot wait to be a mom. I think I'll do an amazing job at it. Don't you agree?"

"Yes! I agree way better than mom ever did. I cannot wait to watch you mother." She hugged my. "I'm so sorry about being an emotional wreck. My mood swings are coming and going like never before. I'm trying to rein them in though."

"It's fine." I kissed her nose. "Everything will balance itself back out. You just need a mini reset. Something good to put shit back into perspective for you."

"Yeah." She sighed.

I smiled at her, I knew it was only a matter of time before something came up for her. She always had a way of coming out on top regardless of the shitty situations she found herself in. This shit with Happy had to be one of the worsts though but whatever came from it, was bound to be phenomenal for Dasha.

* * *

><p>I know you guys really are rooting for a happy ending for Dasha, but you have to understand the emotional toll the whole Happy situation takes on her mental stability. It may seem like she walks the line of being in and out of their relationship but you have to remember she's fragile. Any little upset in her minds balance tends to put her over the edge.<p> 


	51. Chapter 51 Oh Fuck That

Setting up for some drama before I get to ending this lovely story.

* * *

><p>Dasha POV<p>

"So this is the Mayans clubhouse?" I followed Esai as he gave me a quick tour. It was bigger and nicer than the SAMCRO clubhouse. "I love it here already."

Esai smirked. "What are you like jumping ships or something?"

I shrugged. "I'm seeking asylum. I need to lay low for a little while, the Sons and Charming give me really bad anxiety Esai. It's intense and I can't even go in the clubhouse without choking."

"Damn, well make yourself comfortable. No one will bite unless you ask them to. Fiasco he can't bite at all, his teeth are platinum." He pointed to a man in a beanie who smiled.

"Yeah, I've encountered him before." I waved. "You got an Mayans merch I can have? I have a performance and I want a shirt and a hat."

"Anything for you muneca." Marcus winked as he walked towards us. "What brings you to our hangout?"

"Sons finally drove me up the walls." I smiled and let him pull me into a quick hug. "Thought I'd see how the other side was living."

"How do you like it so far?" He draped a leather clad arm over my shoulders.

"I love it so far, I mean it could change. I hope not." I laughed and stared up at him. "Like I was telling E, do you have an shirts or hat with your club insignia on it?"

"Yeah, yeah follow me. Your boyfriend know you're here? I don't want him bursting into this place and killing anyone trying to get you to leave with him." He led me into a closet and pointed at the shelves. "Help yourself."

"Oh, no. Happy and I broken up. He's having a kid with some blonde skank. I think I'm a little too young and unstable to even deal with that shit right now. So we're not together and I don't see us getting back together anytime soon. No one knows I'm here besides you, Esai, and my sister." I pulled a shirt from the shelf and smiled. "You have any scissors?"

"I'll go grab you some, make yourself at home Dasha." He licked his lips and backed out of the room leaving me to scavenge the shelves for useful shirts and hats.

"You got Marcus smitten already." I turned around and Fiasco was standing in the doorway. "That's a magnificent feat."

"It wasn't my intention. I just came here seeking asylum." I pulled the shirt over my head and placed the hat on top of my head. "You always been a Mayans hang around or did it happen after you started coming around the Sons?"

"I'm a Byz Lat sweetheart." He smiled. "I go way back with the Mayans, the Sons are new friends courtesy of Nero."

"Here, Marcus told me to give these to you." A short hispanic woman thrust the scissors at me, pointy end first. "You must be something special if my husband has me bringing shit to you."

"Oh shit, thanks." I grabbed the scissors with a smirk. "All I did was show up, Malia is my little sister. We're all practically family. I'm Dasha."

"Oh." Her face changed from irritation to relief. "I'm Diana, Marcus is my husband, but duh you knew that."

"Thanks for the scissors." I watched her squeeze past Fiasco. "She always that intense about shit?" I started cutting the sleeves off the shirt on the table.

"Nah." He sat down and watched. "You're the first one to make her get bent like that. You really must have that man smitten."

"I hope not, I'm not looking to cause any riffs. I'm done with bullshit with old ladies." I rolled my eyes and waved the scissors. "I'm here for piece of mind. I'm too crazy to stay back in Charming."

"So, you ain't gonna dip into the Mayans pot while over here?" He knocked his knuckles against my leg and smiled.

"See, Fiasco, you're going to get me in more trouble than I need to be in. I feel it already." I smiled. "You're a Byz Lat though, so why would I want to get involved with a gangbanger?"

He stood and pinned me against the shelves. "You would have a fun ass time, I promise you that, muneca."

"Is that so?" I pushed him away. "You're going to have to try a whole lot more than that if you're trying to get me to spread my legs for you Fiasco. A whole lot more."

He rubbed his chin and licked his lips. "I'll remember that sweetheart. I really will." He backed out of the room and pulled the door shut behind him leaving me alone with my crafting and thoughts.

#

"Juice and I kissed." I touched my lips and stared at Esai and Malia. Their mouths were slightly open as they blinked at me. "It was pretty fucking amazing."

"So you're running from him?" Malia took a bite of my cupcake. "That's not smart."

"I'm not running from him dumbass. I needed a chance of scenery." I grabbed my cupcake back. "I don't think you need another cupcake sweetie."

"Hey sweetheart!" Fiasco waved and made a kissy face at me.

"You blow him?" Esai looked at me.

"God no." I frowned and handed the cupcake back to Malia, my appetite no longer around. "He is trying to get into the Holy Grail, that is my pussy and I told him he had to work for it. Even though I'm bluffing."

"So you're just gonna toy with my boy's feelings?" Esai grabbed my hands. "I can't let you do that shit."

"I will do whatever, with whomever I please to. You can't tell me I can't flirt with someone, I already know Fiasco will give up in a day." I pulled my hands away. "Don't make me set something on fire."

"Dasha." Malia hissed at me. "You can't threaten a vice president."

"My bad." I smiled. "It won't happen again, I promise. You coming to Ellie's birthday party tonight? I'm performing a set. Going to do some devil worship and sing alongs."

"I'll be there. Pregnant and all Dasha. You really need to stop with the devil music. It can't be good for your soul. I think you need Jesus." She rolled her eyes.

"I went to church. What are you even talking about. I know I need Jesus and I'm sure there's one running around this clubhouse." I laughed. "Point me to the cutest one and I'll drop to my knees and repent."

"Jesus!" Malia smacked my arm.

"Is what I'll be yelling tonight!" I stood up. "See you later rucaaa."

SOASOASOA

Kozik POV

"Dasha is performing!" Ellie looked up at me. "I'm so excited!"

"I haven't seen her in a week." I frowned. "I hope she sounds good."

"She's been staying with Ima." The teenager looked at me. "She sounds amazing, I sat in on their rehearsal the other night."

"You pick the songs? She gonna be raising the devil tonight?" I laughed and rubbed my forehead.

"Yeah. I love the music." She smiled and walked away as Opie took her spot.

"My kid bugging you?" Opie handed my a beer. "I'll tell her to lay off."

"Nah, it's cool. She kind of reminds me of Dasha." I took a long pull of my beer. "It's something you should nip in the bud right now."

"What?" He looked at me.

"Dasha didn't always look like she does, she used to he chubby and quiet. Then she lost the baby weight one summer and I was in for hell. Every time I would visit she would look less like my little girl and more like a woman." I frowned. "It's scary as fuck. I went through it twice!"

"I don't even want to think about it." He frowned and pointed at the doors as Dasha walked in with her band. "She's a stunner, I can't really see myself handling Ellie going through puberty and coming out like a model."

"It's a heartbreaking experience, you're going to be beating guys off with a pistol or a baseball bat." I laughed and watched Dasha hop up on the makeshift stage and start setting up. "Just be happy you're going to be dealing with a hormonal teen girl and not one who's hormonal and bipolar. That my friend, is the scariest and most eye opening shit you can ever think about going through. .Threw me into a downward spiral for a little bit."

"Jesus, I can't even imagine that." He set his beer down. "I can't even deal with her mini mood swings she has."

"Dasha, she's going through her swinging now, so if one moment she's nice to you and the next she's mean. Don't take it personal, it's just her mind working through the sludge of emotions." I sighed and waved at Dasha who was glaring at me and Opie.

"She has been nice to me since I met her. I don't think I'd take offense to her getting upset at me unless she was trying to set my bike on fire, then I'll have to get mean and yell at her." He laughed and waved at Dasha who returned his wave with a smirk. "She and I are friends, I think."

"She's everyone's friend, it's her thing. She makes friends easily, keeping them is a different story. As soon as she stepped into this clubhouse Tara and Lyla were against her. It was a fucking mess, Tara saw her with Jax and then they just went full on mean girls with her. I thought they'd actually treat her better." I rubbed my head and listened as my daughter started to do vocal exercises into the mic. Her raspy voice filling the space with perfect melodies. "How are you holding up with the whole Lyla shit?"

"Shit is fucked up, I don't blame Happy too much. You heard hear, she wanted to fuck Happy to fuck with Dasha. I don't see how she thought that shit would actually work out. That was fucked up of her to do, what was she going to prove. Like ha I fucked your boyfriend?" He shook his head. "Now she's suffering, can't get an abortion and Happy not only is becoming a dad which he never wanted but he lost the love of his life. It's a fucked up situation."

"It's fucked up and heartbreaking. I think I'm becoming a pussy because I can feel both his pain and Dasha's pain." I sighed and rubbed my head.

"Hello! My name is Dasha and you're rocking with the Pretty Recluses!" She twirled around and dipped. "I think that sounds pretty good, can you guys hear me in the back? If you can, can I get a hell yeah?"

"HELL YEAH!" The guys held up their beers and cheered.

"Thank you!" Dasha bowed and set the microphone on the stand and hopped off and walked towards the clubhouse doors when Kyle grabbed her arm and she smiled and walked out with him.

"You good with that?" Opie looked at me.

"Not at all." I frowned. "It'll burn out, I know she won't fuck any Son other than Happy."

#

"You guys! If you know this song, I want you to sing along. This was the first song that we ever performed as a band!" Dasha yelled and the gaggle of screaming teenagers went insane. "You guys know it! Huh? This is Make Me Wanna Die!"

"Jesus." Gemma sat down next to me. "Think she could have picked more happier songs for this party?"

I chuckled. "Ellie picked all of the songs for the band to sing."

"Figures, we got two emotional kids in the club now." She scoffed as Malia walked towards us, Esai in tow. "Gorgeous couple."

"Dad." Malia sat down. "You see this shit? Devil worshipping is happening around us. Look at all the baby satanists."

"Relax ruca." Esai leaned against the beam. "It's not that serious. She's having fun."

"She's got upside down cross pasties on under her shirt. I've seen them." Malia frowned at her sister who was shedding layer after layer. "She's going to end up naked by the end of this set."

"I will intervene if she thinks about losing her top." I nodded. "I'm pretty sure Happy would reach her before I could but still."

"Dad!" Malia hit me. "I think you should really talk to her, go to her appointments. This time don't fuck her doctor."

"Why is she wearing sunglasses inside though?" I pointed at her. "A hat too."

"Oh, you'll see Koz." Esai chuckled. "Half way through this song the glasses will probably come off."

"I'm worried!" I stood up and moved closer to the stage, taking the only open spot next to Happy and Juice.

"Damn, she looks good up there." Juice smiled. "Those protein shakes have done wonders for her abs."

"Shut up." I smacked him. "I'm standing right here asshole."

"Sorry, I just admire art when I see it." He smirked and looked at Dasha who was staring at him. "She's a masterpiece."

"We belong way down below, way down below, way down below…" She sang as she looked me in the eyes. "...don't do a goddamn thing they say…"

"What's she doing wearing the Mayans symbol?" I pointed at the shirt hanging from the back waistband of pants.

"Maybe Malia converted her to Mayans." Juice laughed and Happy smacked him in the back of his head. "It's possible!"

"Nah, I refuse to let her get involved with a Mayan." I shook my head. "I'll talk to her when this party is all over. I can't have both daughters in that MC. I need Dasha around where I can keep some sort of eye on her." I watched her dance around the stage, I was going to get to the bottom of her Mayans shirt. I looked towards the door and in walked Alvarez, his eyes glued to Dasha. "Oh, fuck that."


	52. Chapter 52 Baby

Short, sweet, and to the point...

* * *

><p>Dasha POV<p>

I smiled as I leaned under the shade tree to catch my breath. "Fuck, I needed that run." I looked at Juice who was chugging a bottle of ice water.

"Me too." He smiled and passed me the bottle of water. "You don't even look beat, I'm the runner but I feel so out of sjapet next to you."

"I had a good trainer." I took a sip of water and dropped down to the grass. "We should run together more often. It actually keeps my mind clear."

"Same." He sat down next to me and pulled up blades of grass. "You wanna tell me why you been avoiding Charming?"

"It's toxic." I shrugged. "I mean there's more bad here than good. I'm just trying to get back in a healthy state of mind. You and I have been good though. So don't even go there."

"I'm just checking in. You barely want to hang out anymore." He grabbed my ankles and pulled me towards him. "You can't keep fighting what we have."

"I'm not fighting it, you know where my head and heart are at. Still with Happy. Sorry, I mean I'd give anything to bleed that man out of my system for good. Everything reminds me of him though." I frowned. "Let's go inside, don't need the neighbors spilling my private business again."

"Actually, I'm going to head out." He rubbed his head. "Club shit."

"Don't be like that Juice!" I grabbed his hand and he yanked away. "Whatever then Juan Carlos."

"I'll stop over later Dasha." He hugged me and jogged off towards the clubhouse.

"Hey." I turned around and was in the shadow of Happy.

"How long you been lurking?" I walked into the house and he followed.

"Long enough to hear some shit I didn't care to ever hear." He grabbed me by my hips and pushed me against the bookshelf. "I think we need to have a talk Dasha."

"About what?" I looked up at him. "I think we talked about everything."

"Us. I'm not done with us yet. I know you are upset, pissed, whatever. I just want you back." He laced his fingers through mine. "Just hear me out on this shit Dasha."

"I really, really don't know what to say about your situation Happy. I mean it fucking sucks to be me." I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't know if I can play step mom or whatever to that kid."

"I'm not asking you to, I don't even think that the kid is mine. I been pressing her for shit, she slept with a few other guys around the same time. Low chance of it being mine." He stepped back and rubbed his head. "I don't know what to do here."

"We've established that." I laughed and sat down on the sofa. "I don't know how to move past this. You're going to need to learn to wrap your shit up Lowman. You get drunk and you forget but you sure as hell would remember when we were getting hot and heavy. Out of all the times we slept together you forgot three times. You shouldn't be sticking your dick in club pussy anyways. It's rancid."

He chuckled. "Ironic right? You and me trying so hard to prevent a fuck up but I supposedly got Lyla knocked up."

"Well I'm surprised she didn't get an abortion." I rolled my eyes. "She's known for that shit."

"I heard. Ima and Winsome are pretty much the gossip queens." He sat down and stared at me. "You too good to hang out at the clubhouse or what?"

"I have gentlemen callers over at the Mayans clubhouse." I laughed. "I can't disappoint all my admirers."

"Fuck that!" He looked at me. "Dasha you and I work!"

"I know we work. When it's amazing it's fucking amazing!" I smiled. "It's the bad, the bad. I can't deal with it. When it's bad it fucks my mind."

"What if we try it one last time?" He smiled. "I'm really shitty at this emotional thing but I really don't want to lose the love of my life because I was stupid and fucked a chick who may or may not be having my kid."

"Ehh, I mean we can talk." I stood and walked into the kitchen. "I'm not making any promises to get back with your dumbass, I'm also not promising to stop talking to any men I may be talking yo right now."

"Men? Who the fuck are you talking to Dasha. Names!" He stood and stomped over to me. His glare hardening as we stayed silent. "Tell me."

"No. It's none of your business who I may or may not be talking to! If you prove to me the kid isn't yours, then I'll drop the shit and focus on working shit out with you." I handed him a beer. "You either accept that or leave me alone."

"Nah, I don't want no other man touching you. I don't even want them looking at you or talking to you." He set the beer down. "You want to talk to me, you only talk to me."

"I'll tell you this, we can talk. I'll drop all the other guys, if you agree to go to couples therapy." I crossed my arms and raised a brow. "You good with that Killer? Therapy? To work shit out?"

"Yeah, as long as it means you're not letting other men touch you." He smirked.

"You really have no claim on me anymore Happy, so I will try this but if you fuck up again in anyway. I will fuck whoever I damn well please." I pulled my top over my head and tossed it at him. "You know where the door is, let yourself out. I have to shower."

"You got some shit going on with Juice that I need to know about?" He followed me into my bedroom. "You gotta tell me if you're fucking one of my brothers."

"You think I'd really do that shit to you Happy? If you think that, you're dumb and don't know me at all." I started the shower and glanced at him. "I need to really shower."

"I'm not stopping you. Ain't nothing I haven't seen before." He smirked and watched me undress and step into the shower. "Except that, when did you get that ink?"

"I don't know like two weeks ago. Why?" I touched the spot on my hip.

"I recognize the lines. Fiasco did that for you huh?" He shrugged out of his cut and tossed it on the counter.

"Yeah." I nodded. "It's cute huh?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't let random ass dudes slap ink on you Dasha." He watched me as I watched him.

"I couldn't go to you and be like hey can you tattoo this for me? It's so awkward alright Happy! It's weird to be over there and in Charming, I'm once again the psycho bitch. You weren't ever supposed to be the thing that sent me over the fucking edge." I stepped out and wrapped my towel around me. "I'm sort of sorry that I set your bike on fire though."

"I'm sorry I wasn't smart and didn't keep my cock in my pants." He pulled the towel off of me. "I just miss you, us, being together. Listening to you laugh, watching you dance, reading your stories babe. I will do anything for a third fucking chance. This wasn't even my fault this time."

"Like I said we can go to therapy." I shrugged and slipped on a pair of panties and a threadbare shirt. "That's all I'm okay with for now."

"I can do therapy." He nodded. "I may hate the shit, don't believe in paying someone to listen to my problems either but if it puts us on the right path, I'm willing to give it a fair try."

"Demand a DNA test from Lyla, I think they can do it now before the baby is even here." I crawled into bed and looked over at him. "It's pricey but I believe I'm worth you spending some of your life savings."

"They can do that shit?" He sat down in the chair and stared at me for a long moment. I could see the wheels turning in that head of his.

"Yeah they can." I nodded. "I don't know if we'll end up back together but if we do work through this, I'll have a shit ton of rules for you."

SOASOASOA

Malia POV

"Esai!" I pushed him off the bed to wake him up. "I'm pretty sure I'm in labor babe! Fuccckk鈥 " I gripped the blankets as a contraction ripped through me.

"Oh shit." He looked at me panicked. "I'll grab the bag and you. We gotta get moving babe. I'm about to be a dad! You're about to push our kid out mama!"

"I know!" I slid off the bed and slid my feet into my fuzzy slippers. "Oh my fucking God this shit hurts so bad! I'm dying."

"You'll be hopped up on medicine in no time mama." He held my arm as he slipped the bag up his shoulder. "We'll be returning home with a baby next time ruca."

"Let's just get there." I got into the car and he scrambled to start it and pull away. "I'm pretty sure his head is like going to pop out any minute babe!"

"Push it back in!" He yelled and looked at me. His eyes wide with fear. "I can't believe this!"

"Just drive E, you're going to crash if you keep looking at me and not paying attention to the damn road." I hissed and pinched his arm, causing him to speed up. "I love you but I just need to get there and get this kid out of me. I feel like I'm being slowly ripped open."

"Oh shit." He skidded to a stop in front of the hospital and cut off the car. "I'll go get a wheelchair or something babe, just don't move too much."

"No problem." I pushed open the door and swung my feet out. "You better be a big chubby baby or I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do about this weight I've gained."

#

"Look, he's fucking handsome." Dasha cooed as she held her nephew. "Little Xavier, I'm your crazy auntie Dasha. You are just so handsome! All your hair and this nose. Malia, Esai. You guys made a perfect mistake!"

"Can you not be so loud?" I poked her in the side. "He needs silence."

"Nah." She frowned. "I heard it's good to have some noise around a baby, if it's too quiet the baby won't know how to sleep through any tiny noise. Microwave dings, bam crying kid."

"Okay, didn't know you were a fucking doctor." I opened my arms and she reluctantly placed Xavier in them. "I have to feed him."

"Nothing I haven't seen before." She looked at me and smirked. "Fine, I'm leaving. I'll see you whenever. I can take a hint about when I'm not fucking wanted."

"Dasha!" I dropped my head. "It's not like that, I love you. I just want it to be us three until we get back home."

"I get it Malia." She looked at me. "Sorry to have bothered you guys." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and stalked out of the room, leaving confusion and tension in her wake.

"That wasn't what I meant to happen." I looked at Esai and he just shrugged. "You know what I meant right? From the jump I just wanted it to be us three."

"I know. I mean you gotta understand though, she's never going to experience this shit firsthand. She doesn't want to be a mom, so in a way her being here was her living vicariously through you mama." He nodded and smiled. "Close your mouth, I may be an outlaw but I'm sure as fuck educated Malia."

"Never said you weren't." I smiled. "I love you and I should have been more sympathetic to Dasha."

"It'll blow over, it always does babe." He kissed my forehead before repeating the gesture on our son. "I love you both. You did good pushing him out without any medicine."

"Thanks." I laughed. "Never want to repeat that shit, ever again."

"I know, next kid we'll get you here in time ruca." He sat on the bed and looked at us. "I still can't believe I'm getting married and I got a handsome ass son. This is perfect, never thought it would even happen. Thought I'd be dead already."

"You got two reasons to come home to now Esai." I squeezed his hand. "Two amazing reasons to not be too reckless with what you do."

"I love you and I'll be better behaved out on runs. No lone ranger type shit. I don't want to leave you two yet. Not for a long ass time." He kissed my lips softly. "I can't wait until we get home and can cuddle him up properly."

"Same. Two days and we're free to go home." I closed my eyes and sighed. Xavier was finally here, I was engaged, what more could I even ask for right now. My life was pretty much perfect.


End file.
